Work drama and not sure what to do

glassyo
glassyo Posts: 7,739 Member
in Chit-Chat
People are going to say this is none of my business and they'd be essentially right but I've been a ventee for one of the people involved for close to a year so I sorta am involved too.

In a nutshell, my boss and his girlfriend broke up but never really acted on it. They live together and she also works here.

It turned out he was taking trips to see someone else. The actual girl friend suspected and did some things to confirm because he sure as hell wasn't being honest with her but didn't do much about it except drop hints she knew and stuff.

Fast forward through some work related drama that's really messing with our company and how we've been trying to find out who started it.

Y'all see what's coming altho this part is more supposition.

I wasn't completely eavesdropping. I was in the bathroom and you can hear everything in there and the boss was on the phone talking about how devastated he was and mentioned the girl friend by name and was asking the person he was talking to what he would do, etc. Personally I wouldn't take advice from this guy but whatever.

I don't know if he was told the work related drama was partly her but it's easy to assume.

If that *is* it, I reeeeeeeeally don't see how she could be a part of it. She still loves the guy enough not to want to hurt him or the business. Plus it just makes more work for her.

I don't know if I should say anything to her. Or to him because I really want to tell him to actually see any evidence before believing what he's told.

I feel loyal to both of them. Also, my cushy job will be affected if he ends up getting rid of her. Yes, I'm selfish but not THAT selfish. I haven't told her half the stuff I've overheard in the past (he talks LOUD, ok) because I think it would hurt her or piss her off.

Someone give me some guidance, please.
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Replies

  • 100_PROOF_
    100_PROOF_ Posts: 1,168 Member
    I wouldn't say a word. Just try to stay out of it.
  • shaf238
    shaf238 Posts: 4,022 Member
    Keep schtum, you know nothing.
  • glassyo
    glassyo Posts: 7,739 Member
    TavistockToad wrote: »
    You think you might know something that might not be true and you're not really sure who was talking to whom about what but should you tell someone you might know something about something...

    I'll go with, no.

    No, I know who he was talking to. Just not sure what he found out the gf did.

    I know it sounds like gossip but we're a 5 person office. There really aren't many secrets.
  • glassyo
    glassyo Posts: 7,739 Member
    Wow, unanimous. :) Not that I was looking for an answer I wanted to hear. It's just hard to keep quiet.

    And you guys are fast! Do you know how long it took to type that out?! But I'm on a tablet doing an exercise dvd so... :)
  • Pour_Decisions
    Pour_Decisions Posts: 1,053 Member
    glassyo wrote: »
    TavistockToad wrote: »
    You think you might know something that might not be true and you're not really sure who was talking to whom about what but should you tell someone you might know something about something...

    I'll go with, no.

    No, I know who he was talking to. Just not sure what he found out the gf did.

    I know it sounds like gossip but we're a 5 person office. There really aren't many secrets.

    It is gossip if you get involved. Stay out of it. Like you said, it's none of your business.
  • solieco1
    solieco1 Posts: 1,559 Member
    There is no scenario here where you make it better by getting involved. Stay far far out of it.
  • nooshi713
    nooshi713 Posts: 4,877 Member
    Stay out of it.
  • CharlieBeansmomTracey
    CharlieBeansmomTracey Posts: 7,682 Member
    how would your job be affected? if he gets rid of her? if they truly broke up then why is she still living there? thats nuts. just do your job and stay out of it sounds like they are dysfunctional and anything you say to either one of them could cause even more trouble for you and for your job. They may be able to even use it against you in some way if you do lose your current job and go and get another job. is that worth it to you? now if they were doing something illegal(like tax fraud,money laundering,etc) and it was hurting others and the company then I might find someone legal to talk to about it. but as for their personal business its personal and between them. it shouldnt be brought to work though.
  • urloved33
    urloved33 Posts: 3,323 Member
    I hear nothing. I see nothing. I say nothing. I KNOW nothing. gufbp3ei9g0r.gif
  • elsie6hickman
    elsie6hickman Posts: 3,864 Member
    There is nothing to be gained by you getting involved. They'll get back together and then both will be mad at you. Even though it is only a 5 person office and "everyone knows everything", stay clear of personal relationships.
  • SwannySez
    SwannySez Posts: 5,860 Member
    Ignore everything these cowards have told you. They are sheep! You are clearly a sheepdog. Or maybe a wolf. Possibly a caterpillar. Let's not get hung up on labels here.

    The first thing you need to do is compose a series of anonymous notes each one containing a few of the facts that you have mixed with your intuition. Over the course of a few days, drop these notes at various places around the office - preferably bear the trash so it looks like someone was going to leave them for someone, but chickened out like all of these gutless wimpadelics in here.

    Once they start to be discovered, you have to feign complete surprise. But now...NOW you are in control. You are driving this bus now. A word here or there. A question. A nudge and a wink.

    Suddenly this goes however you want it to.

    Report back after the first note is discovered.

    We'll be here.
  • VeryKatie
    VeryKatie Posts: 5,961 Member
    edited September 2018
    glassyo wrote: »
    People are going to say this is none of my business and they'd be essentially right

    Sorry, but enough said here.

    I know how awkward it is to sit there listening to it. I used to work for a family business and OMG the families fought all the freaking time at work. I ended up quitting (in my case the people who were the worst offenders were married with kids, unlikely to split, and likely to take over the company. However the reason I quit is not because of the fighting). Not listening to the fights was a pleasant bonus of quitting.

    Honestly, the best way to show loyalty to both people in this case is to stay out of it since it doesn't involve you. At most, if you need to address it, it should be a private conversation with your boss asking him to be more discrete in the workplace about his personal life because it makes you uncomfortable. You are allowed to ask for that, especially depending on the words he uses even on the phone - are they inappropriate things to say around coworkers that could be construed as disrespectful? (though if it were me, I wouldn't, I would wait it out). If the words used are disrespectful, technically it can be harassment to anyone who feels uncomfortable by it, not just the subject person. However you'd have to inform him that you're uncomfortable and that you want the behaviour to stop before it's actual harassment (example at my work - I'll be telling my boss to stop describing others as useless or fat because I am offended by it, regardless of the fact it isn't about me. It's still harassment because it gives me doubt about what he says about me behind my back). But you shouldn't get involved in the goings on in the relationship/lack there of, ESPECIALLY since you're totally guessing about what's going on.

    If they are broken up, then this should blow over/minimize in the next few months. It's not a long term issue for you.
  • funjen1972
    funjen1972 Posts: 949 Member
    Time to find another job.

    I wouldn't want to work somewhere with 'work related drama that's messing with the company'. It could potentially compromise my well-being and financial security.
  • lessismoreohio
    lessismoreohio Posts: 910 Member
    100_PROOF_ wrote: »
    I wouldn't say a word. Just try to stay out of it.

    This right here. I would stay out of it as much as possible.
  • TheRoadDog
    TheRoadDog Posts: 11,788 Member
    I was coming back from lunch once and saw my best friend's girlfriend coming out of a local motel with another guy from work. I didn't say a word to either of them. Nothing good will come from it. If you speak up and they eventually work out, you will soon lose a friend. Or two.
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    gstaubs1 wrote: »
    I go to work to get paid, help others achieve success, and make sure the company doesn't lose money. If you ain't falling under these categories I don't want nothing to do with it...

    I only go to work for the free coffee in the break room.
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    SwannySez wrote: »
    Ignore everything these cowards have told you. They are sheep! You are clearly a sheepdog. Or maybe a wolf. Possibly a caterpillar. Let's not get hung up on labels here.

    The first thing you need to do is compose a series of anonymous notes each one containing a few of the facts that you have mixed with your intuition. Over the course of a few days, drop these notes at various places around the office - preferably bear the trash so it looks like someone was going to leave them for someone, but chickened out like all of these gutless wimpadelics in here.

    Once they start to be discovered, you have to feign complete surprise. But now...NOW you are in control. You are driving this bus now. A word here or there. A question. A nudge and a wink.

    Suddenly this goes however you want it to.

    Report back after the first note is discovered.

    We'll be here.

    Finally!

    Somebody will a real, workable plan.

    This is much more entertaining than simply ignoring it.
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    SwannySez wrote: »
    Ignore everything these cowards have told you. They are sheep! You are clearly a sheepdog. Or maybe a wolf. Possibly a caterpillar. Let's not get hung up on labels here.

    The first thing you need to do is compose a series of anonymous notes each one containing a few of the facts that you have mixed with your intuition. Over the course of a few days, drop these notes at various places around the office - preferably bear the trash so it looks like someone was going to leave them for someone, but chickened out like all of these gutless wimpadelics in here.

    Once they start to be discovered, you have to feign complete surprise. But now...NOW you are in control. You are driving this bus now. A word here or there. A question. A nudge and a wink.

    Suddenly this goes however you want it to.

    Report back after the first note is discovered.

    We'll be here.

    I was in the racoon pack in boy scouts.

    More playful than the bears and less threatening than the wolves.
  • SwannySez
    SwannySez Posts: 5,860 Member
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    SwannySez wrote: »
    Ignore everything these cowards have told you. They are sheep! You are clearly a sheepdog. Or maybe a wolf. Possibly a caterpillar. Let's not get hung up on labels here.

    The first thing you need to do is compose a series of anonymous notes each one containing a few of the facts that you have mixed with your intuition. Over the course of a few days, drop these notes at various places around the office - preferably bear the trash so it looks like someone was going to leave them for someone, but chickened out like all of these gutless wimpadelics in here.

    Once they start to be discovered, you have to feign complete surprise. But now...NOW you are in control. You are driving this bus now. A word here or there. A question. A nudge and a wink.

    Suddenly this goes however you want it to.

    Report back after the first note is discovered.

    We'll be here.

    I was in the racoon pack in boy scouts.

    More playful than the bears and less threatening than the wolves.

    I always thought of you as an otter.
  • Motorsheen
    Motorsheen Posts: 20,508 Member
    SwannySez wrote: »
    Motorsheen wrote: »
    SwannySez wrote: »
    Ignore everything these cowards have told you. They are sheep! You are clearly a sheepdog. Or maybe a wolf. Possibly a caterpillar. Let's not get hung up on labels here.

    The first thing you need to do is compose a series of anonymous notes each one containing a few of the facts that you have mixed with your intuition. Over the course of a few days, drop these notes at various places around the office - preferably bear the trash so it looks like someone was going to leave them for someone, but chickened out like all of these gutless wimpadelics in here.

    Once they start to be discovered, you have to feign complete surprise. But now...NOW you are in control. You are driving this bus now. A word here or there. A question. A nudge and a wink.

    Suddenly this goes however you want it to.

    Report back after the first note is discovered.

    We'll be here.

    I was in the racoon pack in boy scouts.

    More playful than the bears and less threatening than the wolves.

    I always thought of you as an otter.

    Not a big fan of water.

    Although, I could work with wolverine or badger.

    Beaver is always a Win.
  • Just_Mel_
    Just_Mel_ Posts: 3,992 Member
    Do people actually like getting caught up in others' drama??
    Sounds like a whole lotta nope to me.

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