Work drama and not sure what to do

glassyo wrote: »

People are going to say this is none of my business and they'd be essentially right

Sorry, but enough said here.

I know how awkward it is to sit there listening to it. I used to work for a family business and OMG the families fought all the freaking time at work. I ended up quitting (in my case the people who were the worst offenders were married with kids, unlikely to split, and likely to take over the company. However the reason I quit is not because of the fighting). Not listening to the fights was a pleasant bonus of quitting.

Honestly, the best way to show loyalty to both people in this case is to stay out of it since it doesn't involve you. At most, if you need to address it, it should be a private conversation with your boss asking him to be more discrete in the workplace about his personal life because it makes you uncomfortable. You are allowed to ask for that, especially depending on the words he uses even on the phone - are they inappropriate things to say around coworkers that could be construed as disrespectful? (though if it were me, I wouldn't, I would wait it out). If the words used are disrespectful, technically it can be harassment to anyone who feels uncomfortable by it, not just the subject person. However you'd have to inform him that you're uncomfortable and that you want the behaviour to stop before it's actual harassment (example at my work - I'll be telling my boss to stop describing others as useless or fat because I am offended by it, regardless of the fact it isn't about me. It's still harassment because it gives me doubt about what he says about me behind my back). But you shouldn't get involved in the goings on in the relationship/lack there of, ESPECIALLY since you're totally guessing about what's going on.

If they are broken up, then this should blow over/minimize in the next few months. It's not a long term issue for you.

100_PROOF_ wrote: »

I wouldn't say a word. Just try to stay out of it.

This right here. I would stay out of it as much as possible.

gstaubs1 wrote: »

I go to work to get paid, help others achieve success, and make sure the company doesn't lose money. If you ain't falling under these categories I don't want nothing to do with it...

I only go to work for the free coffee in the break room.

SwannySez wrote: »

Ignore everything these cowards have told you. They are sheep! You are clearly a sheepdog. Or maybe a wolf. Possibly a caterpillar. Let's not get hung up on labels here.

The first thing you need to do is compose a series of anonymous notes each one containing a few of the facts that you have mixed with your intuition. Over the course of a few days, drop these notes at various places around the office - preferably bear the trash so it looks like someone was going to leave them for someone, but chickened out like all of these gutless wimpadelics in here.

Once they start to be discovered, you have to feign complete surprise. But now...NOW you are in control. You are driving this bus now. A word here or there. A question. A nudge and a wink.

Suddenly this goes however you want it to.

Report back after the first note is discovered.

We'll be here.

I was in the racoon pack in boy scouts.

More playful than the bears and less threatening than the wolves.

SwannySez wrote: »

Motorsheen wrote: »

SwannySez wrote: »

Ignore everything these cowards have told you. They are sheep! You are clearly a sheepdog. Or maybe a wolf. Possibly a caterpillar. Let's not get hung up on labels here.

The first thing you need to do is compose a series of anonymous notes each one containing a few of the facts that you have mixed with your intuition. Over the course of a few days, drop these notes at various places around the office - preferably bear the trash so it looks like someone was going to leave them for someone, but chickened out like all of these gutless wimpadelics in here.

Once they start to be discovered, you have to feign complete surprise. But now...NOW you are in control. You are driving this bus now. A word here or there. A question. A nudge and a wink.

Suddenly this goes however you want it to.

Report back after the first note is discovered.

We'll be here.

I was in the racoon pack in boy scouts.

More playful than the bears and less threatening than the wolves.

I always thought of you as an otter.

Not a big fan of water.

Although, I could work with wolverine or badger.

Beaver is always a Win.

now if a child were being abused or another person or something along those lines then sure I would report it but still wouldnt say anything to either party. but its probably why most workplaces discourage dating other coworkers

And the boss doesn't seem to realize they broke up (he actually broke up with her in a drunk text) because almost a year later and he's still acting like they're together. He'd also be screwed if he took action (like fire her/kick her out of the house) because she does everything for him at and away from work.

If the boss does not realize they broke up, they still live together, work together and the woman has not moved on maybe they are not broken up?
I'd stay out of it and look for a new job. At minimum start being noisy in the bathroom when someone starts a conversation like that and tell people not to vent about their romances at you.

glassyo wrote: »

Ok, just a little more background now that I have time.

They were dating long before she started working here and we're not doing anything illegal. A disgruntled ex employee (not her) decided to screw with my boss and his livelihood because he's (the disgruntled ex employee) a complete *kitten*. That's not gossip. It's fact.

The work related drama has more to do with this disgruntled employee and not the "romantic" drama.

And the boss doesn't seem to realize they broke up (he actually broke up with her in a drunk text) because almost a year later and he's still acting like they're together. He'd also be screwed if he took action (like fire her/kick her out of the house) because she does everything for him at and away from work.

Truthfully, what's eating me up inside is the work related drama part. He wondered who he could trust if he couldn't trust her. He asked the person on the phone (again, I know who it was) if he should get rid of her.

Also, again, I don't know for sure if she had something to do with what's happening workwise but it's an easy assumption at this point. It doesn't even really matter what she did or didn't do. He doesn't want to believe it and I don't think he should without seeing the proof.

I've been inadvertantly involved in their breakup since the day I was told which was a couple days after it happened. As a sounding board, I pretty much know it all and I definitely know things about him I wish I didn't. But it's also a fun look into him away from work so....

I just want to say that it seems like you like the drama. In which case you don't have a problem that needs solving. Starting to wonder why you posted to ask for a solution.

If that is not the case your options are as follows:

1) Do nothing. Ignore.
2) Have a discussion and tell them both to stop confiding in you/involving you/discussing it at work since it makes you uncomfortable.
3) Leave.

And the one thing you need to do no matter how you feel or what you decide to do is this:

Stop making assumptions.