Work drama and not sure what to do

CharlieBeansmomTracey

now if a child were being abused or another person or something along those lines then sure I would report it but still wouldnt say anything to either party. but its probably why most workplaces discourage dating other coworkers

glassyo

Muscle_for_Fitness wrote: »

Stay out of it. And start wearing earphones when you poop.

LOL I was peeing. And once I heard him on the phone I was sorta scared to move or flush because I didn't want him to know I'd heard anything.

Disclaimer: Not SCARED scared. Just kinda "great, I'm stuck in the bathroom while these two go at it right outside the door" type thing.

glassyo

Ok, just a little more background now that I have time.

They were dating long before she started working here and we're not doing anything illegal. A disgruntled ex employee (not her) decided to screw with my boss and his livelihood because he's (the disgruntled ex employee) a complete *kitten*. That's not gossip. It's fact.

The work related drama has more to do with this disgruntled employee and not the "romantic" drama.

And the boss doesn't seem to realize they broke up (he actually broke up with her in a drunk text) because almost a year later and he's still acting like they're together. He'd also be screwed if he took action (like fire her/kick her out of the house) because she does everything for him at and away from work.

Truthfully, what's eating me up inside is the work related drama part. He wondered who he could trust if he couldn't trust her. He asked the person on the phone (again, I know who it was) if he should get rid of her.

Also, again, I don't know for sure if she had something to do with what's happening workwise but it's an easy assumption at this point. It doesn't even really matter what she did or didn't do. He doesn't want to believe it and I don't think he should without seeing the proof.

I've been inadvertantly involved in their breakup since the day I was told which was a couple days after it happened. As a sounding board, I pretty much know it all and I definitely know things about him I wish I didn't. But it's also a fun look into him away from work so....

Unknown

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4legsRbetterthan2

sounds like you need a new job. if they can't create a professional work environment its only a matter of time until you get dragged into some scheme and have to be worried if you will get fired over it.

glassyo

4legsRbetterthan2 wrote: »

sounds like you need a new job. if they can't create a professional work environment its only a matter of time until you get dragged into some scheme and have to be worried if you will get fired over it.

Oh nononononono. It's so not like that here. We don't do professional. I mean, we obviously do professional...just not in an atmospheric way.

glassyo

SurfyPantsAgainAgain wrote: »

Motorsheen wrote: »

You have received some horrible, horrible advice here.

You need to start dating the girlfriend and vandalize his car in the company parking lot.

I second this.

SwannySez wrote: »

Ignore everything these cowards have told you. They are sheep! You are clearly a sheepdog. Or maybe a wolf. Possibly a caterpillar. Let's not get hung up on labels here.

The first thing you need to do is compose a series of anonymous notes each one containing a few of the facts that you have mixed with your intuition. Over the course of a few days, drop these notes at various places around the office - preferably bear the trash so it looks like someone was going to leave them for someone, but chickened out like all of these gutless wimpadelics in here.

Once they start to be discovered, you have to feign complete surprise. But now...NOW you are in control. You are driving this bus now. A word here or there. A question. A nudge and a wink.

Suddenly this goes however you want it to.

Report back after the first note is discovered.

We'll be here.

Best advice ever! Practice your 'I know everything' wink.

Oh god, I would look so spazzy trying to wink.

(Sorry, PC crowd )

Lounmoun

And the boss doesn't seem to realize they broke up (he actually broke up with her in a drunk text) because almost a year later and he's still acting like they're together. He'd also be screwed if he took action (like fire her/kick her out of the house) because she does everything for him at and away from work.

If the boss does not realize they broke up, they still live together, work together and the woman has not moved on maybe they are not broken up?
I'd stay out of it and look for a new job. At minimum start being noisy in the bathroom when someone starts a conversation like that and tell people not to vent about their romances at you.

bhadbahabi

Motorsheen wrote: »

You have received some horrible, horrible advice here.

You need to start dating the girlfriend and vandalize his car in the company parking lot.

I third this

VeryKatie

glassyo wrote: »

Ok, just a little more background now that I have time.

They were dating long before she started working here and we're not doing anything illegal. A disgruntled ex employee (not her) decided to screw with my boss and his livelihood because he's (the disgruntled ex employee) a complete *kitten*. That's not gossip. It's fact.

The work related drama has more to do with this disgruntled employee and not the "romantic" drama.

And the boss doesn't seem to realize they broke up (he actually broke up with her in a drunk text) because almost a year later and he's still acting like they're together. He'd also be screwed if he took action (like fire her/kick her out of the house) because she does everything for him at and away from work.

Truthfully, what's eating me up inside is the work related drama part. He wondered who he could trust if he couldn't trust her. He asked the person on the phone (again, I know who it was) if he should get rid of her.

Also, again, I don't know for sure if she had something to do with what's happening workwise but it's an easy assumption at this point. It doesn't even really matter what she did or didn't do. He doesn't want to believe it and I don't think he should without seeing the proof.

I've been inadvertantly involved in their breakup since the day I was told which was a couple days after it happened. As a sounding board, I pretty much know it all and I definitely know things about him I wish I didn't. But it's also a fun look into him away from work so....

I just want to say that it seems like you like the drama. In which case you don't have a problem that needs solving. Starting to wonder why you posted to ask for a solution.

If that is not the case your options are as follows:

1) Do nothing. Ignore.
2) Have a discussion and tell them both to stop confiding in you/involving you/discussing it at work since it makes you uncomfortable.
3) Leave.

And the one thing you need to do no matter how you feel or what you decide to do is this:

Stop making assumptions.

glassyo

VeryKatie wrote: »

glassyo wrote: »

Ok, just a little more background now that I have time.

They were dating long before she started working here and we're not doing anything illegal. A disgruntled ex employee (not her) decided to screw with my boss and his livelihood because he's (the disgruntled ex employee) a complete *kitten*. That's not gossip. It's fact.

The work related drama has more to do with this disgruntled employee and not the "romantic" drama.

And the boss doesn't seem to realize they broke up (he actually broke up with her in a drunk text) because almost a year later and he's still acting like they're together. He'd also be screwed if he took action (like fire her/kick her out of the house) because she does everything for him at and away from work.

Truthfully, what's eating me up inside is the work related drama part. He wondered who he could trust if he couldn't trust her. He asked the person on the phone (again, I know who it was) if he should get rid of her.

Also, again, I don't know for sure if she had something to do with what's happening workwise but it's an easy assumption at this point. It doesn't even really matter what she did or didn't do. He doesn't want to believe it and I don't think he should without seeing the proof.

I've been inadvertantly involved in their breakup since the day I was told which was a couple days after it happened. As a sounding board, I pretty much know it all and I definitely know things about him I wish I didn't. But it's also a fun look into him away from work so....

I just want to say that it seems like you like the drama. In which case you don't have a problem that needs solving. Starting to wonder why you posted to ask for a solution.

If that is not the case your options are as follows:

1) Do nothing. Ignore.
2) Have a discussion and tell them both to stop confiding in you/involving you/discussing it at work since it makes you uncomfortable.
3) Leave.

And the one thing you need to do no matter how you feel or what you decide to do is this:

Stop making assumptions.

Nah, I don't like the drama. I'm happy enough in my own little world but I get to hear all this stuff because we're not the normal "professional" type of office. We're pretty casual around here and talk about everything. You don't even wanna know what the last conversation I had with an ex employee who had surgery and died was about right before he went into the hospital!

And I explicitly said why I posted in the thread title.

I haven't said anything to either of them. He was acting normal around her and I didn't want to say anything that would hurt her anyway even if it would give her a heads up. Which is really what I was wondering if I should do. Give her the heads up.

And what, other than what she may or may not have done to devastate my boss, would I be assuming?

And now *I'm* devastated because I just heard Burt Reynolds died! (RIP The Bandit)

elsie6hickman

Despite your protests, I do think you enjoy the drama, and also the feeling that you have "inside" knowledge regarding someone's personal life. I've worked in a lot of offices where people felt close and often talked about everything. But, there are some things that should be off limits and politeness dictates that when you overhear something you shouldn't, it's best to keep it to yourself. Put yourself in each of their places and see how you would feel. It's none of your, or her business, if he expressed an uncertainty in what he considered a private call. And as far as the ex-employee, be very careful, least you end up as a witness in court. If you can't keep out of people's personal business in such a small office, maybe you needed another job in a bigger office.

glassyo

elsie6hickman wrote: »

Despite your protests, I do think you enjoy the drama, and also the feeling that you have "inside" knowledge regarding someone's personal life. I've worked in a lot of offices where people felt close and often talked about everything. But, there are some things that should be off limits and politeness dictates that when you overhear something you shouldn't, it's best to keep it to yourself. Put yourself in each of their places and see how you would feel. It's none of your, or her business, if he expressed an uncertainty in what he considered a private call. And as far as the ex-employee, be very careful, least you end up as a witness in court. If you can't keep out of people's personal business in such a small office, maybe you needed another job in a bigger office.

Wow, I actually thought this thread died a quiet death.

You're entitled to your opinion but you're completely wrong about me. I don't like the drama or having "inside" knowledge. I'm just semi involved in it because I'm one of her very few sounding boards and I've known both of them for close to 15 years. And, uh, it actually would be her business since it would affect her life.

But, yeah, I thought that about the ex employee too.

As for "keeping out of people's business", you make it sound like I seek it out and I don't. And NONE of what's going on is reason to leave. I LIKE my job and I LIKE the people and, contrary to popular belief, what's going on isn't making me uncomfortable (said by other people) but that doesn't mean I get any glee out of this.

Anyway, no, I haven't said anything to either of them and won't.

elsie6hickman

[quote=Wow, I actually thought this thread died a quiet death.

You're entitled to your opinion but you're completely wrong about me. I don't like the drama or having "inside" knowledge. I'm just semi involved in it because I'm one of her very few sounding boards and I've known both of them for close to 15 years. And, uh, it actually would be her business since it would affect her life.

But, yeah, I thought that about the ex employee too.

As for "keeping out of people's business", you make it sound like I seek it out and I don't. And NONE of what's going on is reason to leave. I LIKE my job and I LIKE the people and, contrary to popular belief, what's going on isn't making me uncomfortable (said by other people) but that doesn't mean I get any glee out of this.

Anyway, no, I haven't said anything to either of them and won't.

[/quote]

You are right, I don't know you, so I'm sorry I said you seemed addicted to drama based on your post. It wasn't a fair comment on my part. Drama in the workplace just ends up with hurt feelings and a sense of distrust. I'd hate to see that happen to you.