Need cheering up
lauragreenbaum
Posts: 1,017 Member
I am so sick of waking up hating myself. I feel fat, unattractive, depressed and with zero self esteem. Can someone please tell me anything to make me want to get through this day?
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Replies
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Keep going... You'll get there!! at the beginning of my weight lose journey I had many mornings I felt like that. You've already taken the first step...be proud of yourself for doing that!!5
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lauragreenbaum wrote: »I am so sick of waking up hating myself. I feel fat, unattractive, depressed and with zero self esteem. Can someone please tell me anything to make me want to get through this day?
You need to see your doctor and get some help with the depression10 -
Are you overweight? Seriously overweight?
Asking because we get posts like this that turn out to be about 3 excess lbs. Different sets of problems.
Hating yourself? Agree about the Dr.2 -
Try yoga, deep breathing and reconnecting to your soul can help. When I feel overwhelmed by negative thoughts I do yoga with my essential oil diffuser. It helps slow things down and calms me down.2
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I'm about 25 pounds overweight. I got divorced 4 years ago and haven't dated at all, so I think some of it is loneliness. I also drink too much wine which is where the hating myself comes in because I tell myself every day I'm only going to have one glass. I know I'm not clinically depressed, because many years ago I was and I know what that feels like. I guess I know why I'm feeling this way and I know how I can feel better- it's just a matter of motivating myself to do it.7
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remember a time that you were happy; you have the capacity to feel joy again. These awful days will pass. Be kind to yourself-- go get a manicure, pedi, massage, your hair washed at one of the super-cut kind of places-- they will do a wash only and it feels nice. (((HUGS))) Also- do some searching on the net for a therapist.2
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First thing you can do is post your own pic up and not some random cutie you found on the internet...16
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2011rocket3touring wrote: »First thing you can do is post your own pic up and not some random cutie you found on the internet...
Ok you just made my day! Thanks!!8 -
lauragreenbaum wrote: »I'm about 25 pounds overweight. I got divorced 4 years ago and haven't dated at all, so I think some of it is loneliness. I also drink too much wine which is where the hating myself comes in because I tell myself every day I'm only going to have one glass. I know I'm not clinically depressed, because many years ago I was and I know what that feels like. I guess I know why I'm feeling this way and I know how I can feel better- it's just a matter of motivating myself to do it.
Then what about some support for the drinking?4 -
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Motivation is unreliable. There may be more than one way out of your fix, but this is MFP. Start a food diary. Get and use a food scale. Calculate a modest calorie deficit and try to hit your number.
Make a plan for each day and each week. You will soon find that 4 glasses of wine on a regular basis is going to be incompatible with hitting your number. And remember, going over your number is not a reason to abandon your diary.
Remember, the process is more important than the numbers. Maybe you’ll feel better when you exert some control.4 -
Change is tough. I know. I've been there and am going through it. Start your day with something you like or look forward to. For me, it's walking with my dog.
Giving up the daily wine or cocktail is also tough. I have just done the same thing...four days ago. I did it before by using good crystal glasses. I still have a drink in my fun martini glass, but now it's filled with a flavored sparkling water. I still have a drink in my colored crystal high ball glass--on the rocks--but now it's diet tonic water or diet ginger ale.
I understand loneliness. I am going through a divorce. #2, for me, after 32 years. Don't let it stop you from doing things. I bought myself a season ticket to the ballet and half a dozen concert tickets. Each one of those days when I wake up I'll have something to look forward to doing that night. I can walk to the performance halls from my downtown apartment. I moved from a single family house to a high rise apartment building. I see people in the elevator--coming and going--every day. There's a roof top pool (where I do laps) and a gym.
Are you working? Do you have time to volunteer for a cause that is close to your heart? Join a group and schedule yourself to do something for it.
I am doing a lot more reading. I can walk to the library--or stop at the branch close to the grocery store when I go once a week. If you have the means to travel--or are interested--start planning a trip. Anticipation is at least half the fun of the experience. I went on a cruise--by myself--this summer and met some other single women. We ate dinner together most evenings and had a lot of fun telling stories and laughing together.
Get yourself out there! And then come tell us about it!10 -
I think curbing your alcohol intake will be key in improving how you feel. I've known too many people who said they had no idea how much it was affecting them until after they cut back and realized the difference. Not hardcore drinking either, just moderate to occasionally heavy, regular drinkers. I'm sorry you're struggling with feelings is loneliness. Wish there was an easy answer!6
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Alcohol is a depressant. Get to your doctor, and perhaps some talk therapy would be a good idea. No one should have to face each morning feeling as you do. And don't worry about "finding someone" right now. Take care of yourself first. Today is a gift, enjoy it!4
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look on the bright side...life can be whatever you want it to be...its all on you. ...
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So far I see you saying that you don't like being overweight. Over what weight? Over some number that somebody else picked? Own you. That's all. Just own you. Your Laura can be someone who drinks too much and gets that result. Your Laura can just as easily be someone who drinks exactly as much as you wish her to and gets that result instead.
For sure, don't let some old grape juice own you.2 -
It is tough! But you're already in the right place, taking the right steps to feeling great! Keep going! The way I see it is... you have 2 options: 1 - you can not do anything about it and continue on feeling the way you do.. only to end up more depressed... OR 2 - do something about it! Eat less/better and move more! You will get better and start seeing results. Every little accomplishment adds up to the big picture. It just takes time!3
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Motivation is unreliable. There may be more than one way out of your fix, but this is MFP. Start a food diary. Get and use a food scale. Calculate a modest calorie deficit and try to hit your number.
Make a plan for each day and each week. You will soon find that 4 glasses of wine on a regular basis is going to be incompatible with hitting your number. And remember, going over your number is not a reason to abandon your diary.
Remember, the process is more important than the numbers. Maybe you’ll feel better when you exert some control.
^^ so much this. Making a decision (over and over, if necessary) is actually an antidepressant, because it gives us agency. Check out this community thread on the power of Decision instead of "motivation":
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/818701/the-myth-of-motivation-and-what-you-need-instead/p1
And along the same lines of Decision having power to reverse the negativity, this has helped me a lot:
https://bigthink.com/robby-berman/4-things-you-can-do-to-cheer-up-according-to-neuroscience1 -
hi! you should watch funny cat videos or scroll the cat gifs/memes thread on here - those always make me feel warm & fuzzy inside.
Feel better, one foot in front of the other. Seeking some outside help, even if you know what you need to do, may help with the getting you to take action part.3 -
lauragreenbaum wrote: »I am so sick of waking up hating myself. I feel fat, unattractive, depressed and with zero self esteem. Can someone please tell me anything to make me want to get through this day?
I really hate correcting people, but sometimes, it just has to be done...
1) You're not fat, 2) You're not unattractive, 3) If you want to cut back on wine, share a glass with ME!
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I keep going back to your profile pic because I certainly don't see the woman you describe.
I see a very attractive woman who looks well put together with lovely hair, pretty eyes and a smile that makes me think it would be fun to hang out with her, I bet she has a wicked sense of humour.
If this is what a random stranger on the internet sees then surely it follows that this is what everyone else sees in real life.
I know that being divorced is hard after being used to having someone around all the time. I know this because I have been divorced twice.
I have been through periods of self hate (an awful lot of people do) This is what I did to get out of the last one that ended my last marriage. I lost weight, I went to the gym, I lifted heavy stuff up and down, I grew strong physically.
I took evening classes, I learned new things, I grew confident in my own abilities. I grew strong mentally.
You want to know how to get through this day? Be pro-active. Make a wish list of things you would like to do or change and then find a way to do or change them.
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You are loved. You are worth it. And you can do it. Your existence is so vital, and you make this world that much better of a place. So don't give up - we need you.
If you need someone to talk to, I am more than willing to listen. I hope I helped at least a little.
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YOU PEOPLE ARE THE BEST!!! I cannot tell you how much your kind words and encouragement have meant to me today. I woke up feeling awful, but am doing much better. I'm within my calories, and took a 3 mile hike with my dog (I'm fortunate enough to work from home, so very flexible schedule). Thank you so much. Truly.13
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Hey, you're worth it1
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Maybe joining a group....helping out in a homeless shelter or kitchen. Donating time in an animal shelter.
Not every day but it seems that helping others benefits the spirit.... best medicine ever!1 -
You have a gift to contribute to others...you just have to find it!1
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You gotta keep going:) You have everyone on this app supporting you! no ones alone!0
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Every day and every decision you make to benefit your health and fitness and body will propel you towards inner peace.2
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Laura you look lovely and very young, try adding some friends on here and we can get this done forget and support each other on days that aren't going so well.good luck1
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