I've been lying to myself... scale and NSV

I've always struggled with my weight. Always. I was always a little heavier than the other girls when I was in school, and I always seemed to gain fairly easily and quickly. I've never really had a whole lot of confidence in myself, and it's still a constant struggle everyday. Luckily I have a great husband who see's through my BS and tells me I'm beautiful everyday. Most days I struggle to believe him, because I'm me, and that's just how I am, and my subconscious equates beauty to not being heavy. I know that's a load of bull because I know MANY women that are thick and absolutely gorgeous and are very happy with who they are. I'm just not happy who I am at this point.

I've tried many times to lose weight in the past, and I've been successful before, but I get lazy and I always gain it back and usually more. A month ago, I hit my highest weight ever at 238.8 and I'm realizing that I need to do something. At 5'2", that's a lot of weight to carry. School started on the 20th of August and I decided that that was my starting point. I was going to start going to the gym before school because 4 days out of 5, classes start at 7:30, and most days I'm not going home until between 4-5. I started heavily watching my calories and weighing absolutely EVERYTHING.

I struggled to find foods that I could be happy with because I'm lactose intolerant, and most green vegetables like broccoli or cabbage do horrible things to my stomach (even though I love them, it's not worth the aftermath). I was tired of feeling gross all the time. After I started eating better, I wasn't having as much stomach upset. My heartburn is slowly becoming less frequent.

I always thought that my metabolism was just slow, because there have been times that I would go to the gym everyday for weeks and my weight wouldn't budge.. but I also wasn't watching everything that I was eating. I've been on phentermine at least three times and I thought that was the only way that I could lose weight. NOT.

The first week I lost 2 pounds! I was like "holy sh#*!" My husband told me to be wary, it could just be water weight... but then a week later I'd lost another pound. Now here we are 2 1/2 weeks after I started this new journey, and I've lost over 6 pounds! I eat mostly great, and most of the time I'm staying on track with my calorie counts. My husband has even been trying to eat better because of how well I'm doing.

So now I know that I've been in denial the last 10+ years. I CAN lose the weight on my own, and I can lose it QUICKLY and SAFELY!

So to all those out there that are struggling with finding that balance, you can do it! If you finally get the discipline and focus that you need, you can do it! Diet really is the most important thing. I don't go to the gym every day- maybe 3 times a week now, but I'm still losing the weight. It CAN be done You just have to believe in yourself.