Friend got the sleeve, losing rapidly.. Bitter
Replies
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Totally get your feelings, but just remember... your 5lbs per month equals 60 lbs gone in a year! You are doing it the slow and steady way. Less loose skin (if any with you only be 170lbs), better adjustment to lifestyle, abilitiy to modify and make changes that fit and work for you. You got this! Keep doing what you're doing!
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Keep doing what you are doing. You will not have to deal with the real consequences of weight loss surgery and the limitations it can create. I do understand your feelings. Kind of feel the same way when I go to the gym, work out, and then look at the beautiful 20 year old women with their flat stomachs and pert rear ends and realize that my 53 year old, 2 c-section body will never, ever look that way again no matter how hard I work. But I can look much better if I take care of myself, than if I don't. So focus on what you can do to make things better, find role models your own age or older who have achieved the goals you want and learn from them, and continue to smile and support your friend's journey too.
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Listen, I would rather try to keep off weight naturally. Nothing wrong with wls, it might be a last result if I fail to keep my weight off, but I would rather someone not cut up my stomach and intestines.6
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Not your circus; not your monkey. You just do you and do it well. Don't buy into the negative karma floating around and go take a good walk or run
Hit the unfollow button on FB, then you won't see the updates without the drama of 'unfriending'.
Yes, your feelings are totally natural but only you control how they affect you. Wallow a minute then move on and make your own path.4 -
Comparison may be the true thief of joy, but social media is a close second. Dittoing the advice to snooze/unfollow/whatever you need to do to not let this put a damper on your friendship, if you truly value it. Someday you'll be able to look back on this with a different perspective, even though I know it's painful right now.5
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I also want to add that wls does not always equal success. I know two people who have had the surgery, lost monkey tons of weight and regained lots of it. It all comes down to exercise and dietary compliance. Neither one could stick to a caloric reduced lifestyle. They found ways of eating around their surgery. Had a guy at work have a fall out. I am a nurse btw. I knew immediately what the issue was. He was having dumping issues. I told everyone that witnesses it, it was his blood sugar. I am not bound by hippa in this situation, but fibbed to help spare him his dignity.2
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ashleyjloss85 wrote: »
I know I sound horrible like I can't be happy for other people but I just am bitter....and hungry.
Being hangry sucks.
Nowhere in your post did you say that you wanted to do the same thing your friend did despite her weight loss. That's got to tell you something - on some level you know for you personally the drawbacks (far) outweigh the benefits.
You're stressing about something you don't even want to do.
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Having the sleeve does not instantly make her lose weight. She has to eat less than she burns. The reason she is losing weight because they typically have to eat <800 calories for the first couple of months post op. I hate that people don't see it for what it is. It is a tool just like anything else to lose weight. Its extreme measure, its a major surgery5
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I'm not sure how tall you are but your friends 200lb weight doesn't sound morbidly obese and I think that doctors doing this type of surgery on patients who may have better options are doing them a disservice (bordering on unethical behaviour).
It may feel like you're doing it the hard way right now but 5lbs in one moth is terrific and you're not going to be facing the life long consequences of her surgical decision. By developing a healthy relationship with food you'll still be able to enjoy reasonable portions of the foods you love for the rest of your life, your friend has far fewer options now.
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From reading these comments, weight loss surgery does NOT sounds pleasant. She's eating 2 cups of food a day, that's nothing to be jealous of. You have the freedom to eat whatever you want. You can choose to fit in a big steak or a couple slices of pizza into your calorie goal, she can't. I suggest unfollowing her on whatever social media site you're on. 5 lbs in a month is great progress and nothing to feel discouraged about.5
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Nevermind, off topic
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It sounds like your friend is on a temporary high from losing a lot of weight quickly. Yes, she may post pictures of herself rolling around with her kids, but you don't know if that snapshot of a bit of horseplay resulted in pain, bruising, stomach upset and hours on the loo.
Sometimes people who have WLS think it's going to change their life and solve all their problems, but in fact it can just transfer their problems to a different source, because they've only addressed their food intake, not their attitude to food or the behaviour around it that led them to put on weight in the first place.
If your friend opts for skin surgery, that's yet another major operation, with risk of complications, pain, and potential scarring. Your friend may come back down to earth with a big bump when she also realises she may have to exist on two cups of food and have gastrointestinal issues for the rest of her life. It's not an easy way just because it gives fast results; it's way more complicated than doing it the slow, steady, non-invasive way.
Maybe your friend thought a sleeve would be an easy option, realised it wasn't, and now is maybe only posting upbeat stuff to save face because she can't admit the reward wasn't worth the risk. Whatever the reason for her seemingly endless positivity, she's on a route which might involve deprivation, frustration and ultimately regaining all the weight, while you're on a path filled with yummy little rest stops that you can dip into whenever you like while you continue on your own steady journey of weight loss and lifestyle change.5 -
Sorry, but I'm confused - did you mean "fall out" as in mood swing where he lost his temper and yelled unforgivably at everyone present, or is there some more directly physiological meaning?psychod787 wrote: ».... Had a guy at work have a fall out. I am a nurse btw. I knew immediately what the issue was. He was having dumping issues. I told everyone that witnesses it, it was his blood sugar. I am not bound by hippa in this situation, but fibbed to help spare him his dignity.
(I'm figuring he probably didn't literally create "radioactive precipitation as in the wake of a nuclear explosion."
)
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Evelyn_Gorfram wrote: »
Sorry, but I'm confused - did you mean "fall out" as in mood swing where he lost his temper and yelled unforgivably at everyone present, or is there some more directly physiological meaning?psychod787 wrote: ».... Had a guy at work have a fall out. I am a nurse btw. I knew immediately what the issue was. He was having dumping issues. I told everyone that witnesses it, it was his blood sugar. I am not bound by hippa in this situation, but fibbed to help spare him his dignity.
(I'm figuring he probably didn't literally create "radioactive precipitation as in the wake of a nuclear explosion." )
In the US south (or at least the part I'm from), "fall out" can have the meaning of fainting or falling due to weakness/health. Like, "I was so hungry, I just about fell out."3 -
Evelyn_Gorfram wrote: »
Sorry, but I'm confused - did you mean "fall out" as in mood swing where he lost his temper and yelled unforgivably at everyone present, or is there some more directly physiological meaning?psychod787 wrote: ».... Had a guy at work have a fall out. I am a nurse btw. I knew immediately what the issue was. He was having dumping issues. I told everyone that witnesses it, it was his blood sugar. I am not bound by hippa in this situation, but fibbed to help spare him his dignity.
(I'm figuring he probably didn't literally create "radioactive precipitation as in the wake of a nuclear explosion." )
Glad I'm not the only one who didn't know what that meant
Then he said it was from dumping issues? Does that mean like, pooping issues? 3 -
Thanks, that's good to know.janejellyroll wrote: »Evelyn_Gorfram wrote: »
Sorry, but I'm confused - did you mean "fall out" as in mood swing where he lost his temper and yelled unforgivably at everyone present, or is there some more directly physiological meaning?psychod787 wrote: ».... Had a guy at work have a fall out. I am a nurse btw. I knew immediately what the issue was. He was having dumping issues. I told everyone that witnesses it, it was his blood sugar. I am not bound by hippa in this situation, but fibbed to help spare him his dignity.
(I'm figuring he probably didn't literally create "radioactive precipitation as in the wake of a nuclear explosion." )
In the US south (or at least the part I'm from), "fall out" can have the meaning of fainting or falling due to weakness/health. Like, "I was so hungry, I just about fell out."
(In my part of the world, if your "fall out" isn't emotional or nuclear, something has to physically fall out of something; and given that the guy was at risk of being embarrassed at work, it made me wonder...)
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janejellyroll wrote: »Evelyn_Gorfram wrote: »
Sorry, but I'm confused - did you mean "fall out" as in mood swing where he lost his temper and yelled unforgivably at everyone present, or is there some more directly physiological meaning?psychod787 wrote: ».... Had a guy at work have a fall out. I am a nurse btw. I knew immediately what the issue was. He was having dumping issues. I told everyone that witnesses it, it was his blood sugar. I am not bound by hippa in this situation, but fibbed to help spare him his dignity.
(I'm figuring he probably didn't literally create "radioactive precipitation as in the wake of a nuclear explosion." )
In the US south (or at least the part I'm from), "fall out" can have the meaning of fainting or falling due to weakness/health. Like, "I was so hungry, I just about fell out."
Yep... I am as southern as they come. Thanks jelly for clearing up that slang issue.3 -
we say fall out up here in wisconsin too
i would rather lose it the calorie counting way. if i go and eat a box of pasta roni, which i do on long run days, it will not cause me immediate physical distress. i can eat a pint of ice cream safely. i would prefer to have the wiggle room and lose 5lbs a month5 -
feisty_bucket wrote: »Some perspective? Yo, she _mutilated her guts_ because of her inability to control herself. Hardly something to be jealous of. Just watch: she'll get tired of eating slop, and probably go back to eating like before and wreck what's left of her gut anyways.
Better yet, don't watch because her posts are messing with your mind. Better to unfollow and concentrate on yourself.
Anyways, isn't 200 too low to get a sleeve anyways? I thought that was for people twice that size.I've given up eating everything I enjoy
Normally I would be ordering Chinese food.
It doesn't have to be like that at all. I eat Chinese food weekly, on a cut or not. Eat what you like, but stop eating too much of it. That's it.
you have idiot doctors who will do the surgery for those who arent dangerouly obese. I think for most WLS its 100lb or more overweight or if you have a comorbidity issue that can cause death due to your weight.2 -
While googling for answers to my "fall out" question, I ran across this page: 8 common problems after weight loss surgery. The information seems truthful and and worthwhile, but the article is illustrated by this image:CharlieBeansmomTracey wrote: »feisty_bucket wrote: »Some perspective? Yo, she _mutilated her guts_ because of her inability to control herself. Hardly something to be jealous of. Just watch: she'll get tired of eating slop, and probably go back to eating like before and wreck what's left of her gut anyways.
Better yet, don't watch because her posts are messing with your mind. Better to unfollow and concentrate on yourself.
Anyways, isn't 200 too low to get a sleeve anyways? I thought that was for people twice that size.I've given up eating everything I enjoy
Normally I would be ordering Chinese food.
It doesn't have to be like that at all. I eat Chinese food weekly, on a cut or not. Eat what you like, but stop eating too much of it. That's it.
you have idiot doctors who will do the surgery for those who arent dangerouly obese. I think for most WLS its 100lb or more overweight or if you have a comorbidity issue that can cause death due to your weight.
Misleadingly uncaptioned, perhaps to let us presume that it represents "before" and "after."
But the woman on the left, while clearly obese, doesn't look dangerously so to me. If she's a hundred pounds overweight, I'll eat my hat (and log the calories). I'm about a hundred and ten pounds overweight, and I'd be ecstatic if that were what I saw when I turned sideways and looked in the mirror (I'd still want to lose more weight, but I'd be ecstatic all the same). I'd be missing my abdominal "apron," and my upper arm "wings." I'd be down to only one fat roll on my back, and not have my boobs resting on my belly. That last time I looked like that, I was about 70 pounds overweight.
(Also, who knew that WLS apparently gives you a deepens your tan, lengthens your hair, and makes you taller?)
((And gets you a much more supportive bra, which you now need much less badly?))
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Evelyn_Gorfram wrote: »
While googling for answers to my "fall out" question, I ran across this page: 8 common problems after weight loss surgery. The information seems truthful and and worthwhile, but the article is illustrated by this image:CharlieBeansmomTracey wrote: »feisty_bucket wrote: »Some perspective? Yo, she _mutilated her guts_ because of her inability to control herself. Hardly something to be jealous of. Just watch: she'll get tired of eating slop, and probably go back to eating like before and wreck what's left of her gut anyways.
Better yet, don't watch because her posts are messing with your mind. Better to unfollow and concentrate on yourself.
Anyways, isn't 200 too low to get a sleeve anyways? I thought that was for people twice that size.I've given up eating everything I enjoy
Normally I would be ordering Chinese food.
It doesn't have to be like that at all. I eat Chinese food weekly, on a cut or not. Eat what you like, but stop eating too much of it. That's it.
you have idiot doctors who will do the surgery for those who arent dangerouly obese. I think for most WLS its 100lb or more overweight or if you have a comorbidity issue that can cause death due to your weight.
Misleadingly uncaptioned, perhaps to let us presumable that it represents "before" and "after."
But the woman on the left, while clearly obese, doesn't look dangerously so to me. If she's a hundred pounds overweight, I'll eat my hat - and log the calories. I'm about a hundred and ten pounds overweight, and I'd be ecstatic if that were what I saw when I turned sideways and looked in the mirror (I'd still want to lose more weight, but I'd be ecstatic all the same). I'd be missing my abdominal "apron," and my upper arm "wings." I'd be down to only one fat roll on my back, and not have my boobs resting on my belly. That last time I looked like that, I was about 70 pounds over weight.
(Also, who knew that WLS apparently gives you a deepens your tan, lengthens your hair, and makes you taller?)
((And gets you a much more supportive bra, which you now need much less badly?))
Everyones build and body shapes are different. I am about 100lbs over weight at 258lbs. I am also 5'8. The before profile could be me. My chest might a bit bigger but otherwise very similar to my shape.1 -
I have a disease that one of the known causes of is upper abdominal surgery especially WLS (I have never had WLS or upper abdominal surgery) called gastroparesis and it is very debilitating. I'm currently in the hospital on TPN and waiting for a Jtube. The GI tract is very sensitive and touching it can lead to other problems (I have had everything below my ileum removed because of Crohn's). I would never agree to any elective GI surgery unless your health is severely compromised (I went down to BMI 15.9 before TPN so have no choice really about a j tube. I don't want to starve to death)16
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Good point, which I forgot to mention. Thanks.SandyH2015 wrote: »Evelyn_Gorfram wrote: »
While googling for answers to my "fall out" question, I ran across this page: 8 common problems after weight loss surgery. The information seems truthful and and worthwhile, but the article is illustrated by this image:CharlieBeansmomTracey wrote: »feisty_bucket wrote: »Some perspective? Yo, she _mutilated her guts_ because of her inability to control herself. Hardly something to be jealous of. Just watch: she'll get tired of eating slop, and probably go back to eating like before and wreck what's left of her gut anyways.
Better yet, don't watch because her posts are messing with your mind. Better to unfollow and concentrate on yourself.
Anyways, isn't 200 too low to get a sleeve anyways? I thought that was for people twice that size.I've given up eating everything I enjoy
Normally I would be ordering Chinese food.
It doesn't have to be like that at all. I eat Chinese food weekly, on a cut or not. Eat what you like, but stop eating too much of it. That's it.
you have idiot doctors who will do the surgery for those who arent dangerouly obese. I think for most WLS its 100lb or more overweight or if you have a comorbidity issue that can cause death due to your weight.
Misleadingly uncaptioned, perhaps to let us presumable that it represents "before" and "after."
But the woman on the left, while clearly obese, doesn't look dangerously so to me. If she's a hundred pounds overweight, I'll eat my hat - and log the calories. I'm about a hundred and ten pounds overweight, and I'd be ecstatic if that were what I saw when I turned sideways and looked in the mirror (I'd still want to lose more weight, but I'd be ecstatic all the same). I'd be missing my abdominal "apron," and my upper arm "wings." I'd be down to only one fat roll on my back, and not have my boobs resting on my belly. That last time I looked like that, I was about 70 pounds over weight.
(Also, who knew that WLS apparently gives you a deepens your tan, lengthens your hair, and makes you taller?)
((And gets you a much more supportive bra, which you now need much less badly?))
Everyones build and body shapes are different. I am about 100lbs over weight at 258lbs. I am also 5'8. The before profile could be me. My chest might a bit bigger but otherwise very similar to my shape.
But - leaving aside the fact that you are not a doctor*, and the question of whether you would choose to have it - do you think that it would be responsible for a physician to recommend weight loss surgery for you at this point?
(*Unless, of course, you are a doctor ) 0 -
singingflutelady wrote: »I have a disease that one of the known causes of is upper abdominal surgery especially WLS (I have never had WLS or upper abdominal surgery) called gastroparesis and it is very debilitating. I'm currently in the hospital on TPN and waiting for a Jtube. The GI tract is very sensitive and touching it can lead to other problems (I have had everything below my ileum removed because of Crohn's). I would never agree to any elective GI surgery unless your health is severely compromised (I went down to BMI 15.9 before TPN so have no choice really about a j tube. I don't want to starve to death)
4 -
feisty_bucket wrote: »Some perspective? Yo, she _mutilated her guts_ because of her inability to control herself. Hardly something to be jealous of. Just watch: she'll get tired of eating slop, and probably go back to eating like before and wreck what's left of her gut anyways.
Better yet, don't watch because her posts are messing with your mind. Better to unfollow and concentrate on yourself.
Anyways, isn't 200 too low to get a sleeve anyways? I thought that was for people twice that size.I've given up eating everything I enjoy
Normally I would be ordering Chinese food.
It doesn't have to be like that at all. I eat Chinese food weekly, on a cut or not. Eat what you like, but stop eating too much of it. That's it.
Yes, I would have thought 200 pounds was too low a weight for surgery as well.
I have Chinese every month. I retain water from it, so I try to do it when I'm premenstrual and retaining water anyway, and not really worrying about that temporary fluctuation.3 -
Evelyn_Gorfram wrote: »
Good point, which I forgot to mention. Thanks.SandyH2015 wrote: »Evelyn_Gorfram wrote: »
While googling for answers to my "fall out" question, I ran across this page: 8 common problems after weight loss surgery. The information seems truthful and and worthwhile, but the article is illustrated by this image:CharlieBeansmomTracey wrote: »feisty_bucket wrote: »Some perspective? Yo, she _mutilated her guts_ because of her inability to control herself. Hardly something to be jealous of. Just watch: she'll get tired of eating slop, and probably go back to eating like before and wreck what's left of her gut anyways.
Better yet, don't watch because her posts are messing with your mind. Better to unfollow and concentrate on yourself.
Anyways, isn't 200 too low to get a sleeve anyways? I thought that was for people twice that size.I've given up eating everything I enjoy
Normally I would be ordering Chinese food.
It doesn't have to be like that at all. I eat Chinese food weekly, on a cut or not. Eat what you like, but stop eating too much of it. That's it.
you have idiot doctors who will do the surgery for those who arent dangerouly obese. I think for most WLS its 100lb or more overweight or if you have a comorbidity issue that can cause death due to your weight.
Misleadingly uncaptioned, perhaps to let us presumable that it represents "before" and "after."
But the woman on the left, while clearly obese, doesn't look dangerously so to me. If she's a hundred pounds overweight, I'll eat my hat - and log the calories. I'm about a hundred and ten pounds overweight, and I'd be ecstatic if that were what I saw when I turned sideways and looked in the mirror (I'd still want to lose more weight, but I'd be ecstatic all the same). I'd be missing my abdominal "apron," and my upper arm "wings." I'd be down to only one fat roll on my back, and not have my boobs resting on my belly. That last time I looked like that, I was about 70 pounds over weight.
(Also, who knew that WLS apparently gives you a deepens your tan, lengthens your hair, and makes you taller?)
((And gets you a much more supportive bra, which you now need much less badly?))
Everyones build and body shapes are different. I am about 100lbs over weight at 258lbs. I am also 5'8. The before profile could be me. My chest might a bit bigger but otherwise very similar to my shape.
But - leaving aside the fact that you are not a doctor*, and the question of whether you would choose to have it - do you think that it would be responsible for a physician to recommend weight loss surgery for you at this point?
(*Unless, of course, you are a doctor )
I agree with you that unless there were other medical factors, that i should not be considered a candidate for WLS. Nor would I seek it at this point for what its worth.1 -
Evelyn_Gorfram wrote: »
While googling for answers to my "fall out" question, I ran across this page: 8 common problems after weight loss surgery. The information seems truthful and and worthwhile, but the article is illustrated by this image:CharlieBeansmomTracey wrote: »feisty_bucket wrote: »Some perspective? Yo, she _mutilated her guts_ because of her inability to control herself. Hardly something to be jealous of. Just watch: she'll get tired of eating slop, and probably go back to eating like before and wreck what's left of her gut anyways.
Better yet, don't watch because her posts are messing with your mind. Better to unfollow and concentrate on yourself.
Anyways, isn't 200 too low to get a sleeve anyways? I thought that was for people twice that size.I've given up eating everything I enjoy
Normally I would be ordering Chinese food.
It doesn't have to be like that at all. I eat Chinese food weekly, on a cut or not. Eat what you like, but stop eating too much of it. That's it.
you have idiot doctors who will do the surgery for those who arent dangerouly obese. I think for most WLS its 100lb or more overweight or if you have a comorbidity issue that can cause death due to your weight.
Misleadingly uncaptioned, perhaps to let us presume that it represents "before" and "after."
But the woman on the left, while clearly obese, doesn't look dangerously so to me. If she's a hundred pounds overweight, I'll eat my hat (and log the calories). I'm about a hundred and ten pounds overweight, and I'd be ecstatic if that were what I saw when I turned sideways and looked in the mirror (I'd still want to lose more weight, but I'd be ecstatic all the same). I'd be missing my abdominal "apron," and my upper arm "wings." I'd be down to only one fat roll on my back, and not have my boobs resting on my belly. That last time I looked like that, I was about 70 pounds overweight.
(Also, who knew that WLS apparently gives you a deepens your tan, lengthens your hair, and makes you taller?)
((And gets you a much more supportive bra, which you now need much less badly?))
I looked kinda like the "before" pic just a bigger more shelf like butt, and bigger thighs as well as saddlebags for days lol my upper body has always been the smallest areas. didnt gain a lot up there. I will never nor have I ever before I became obese look like the after pic. 1 was 70 lbs overweight and weighed 209lb .The smallest I ever was as an adult was 125,but my weight most of the time was in the lower 140s. I kept that weight up until I hit my mid 30s then I started gaining weight and became obese .I get that everyone is built differently but even with lipo I doubt I would look like the after pic. but then most before and afters are greatly exaggerated in most things especially weight loss. but then usually there is some sort of disclaimer saying the results are atypical1
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