Changing the Theory of Obesity, Planning for Discovery

I wrote an essay for my vlog/FB page and I felt it was fitting to share it here on MFP. Hopefully it rings valuable to at least one reader.

I feel like this article is entirely about me, in some ways. At my highest, I was 535lbs. I've lost over 250lbs since then, but it took more than just simply eating less and exercising more.
I am the overweight anorexic bulimic. I am the woman that struggled for 7 years before having a doctor recognize what was really happening, instead of having one that told me to eat less. When I was initially diagnosed, I averaged 900 calories a day, and my GP would tell me to eat less. I would go in for arthritic pain in my elbows, likely from worsening fibromyalgia, and would be told to lose weight. I'd go home bawling my eyes out, avoiding my friends and literally hiding in closets until a time where I could binge eat until it hurt, then purge.
Over the years, I'd hear these comments about my impending systemic illnesses, about how eventually I'd have a bad heart (even though I had low cholesterol and exceptional blood pressure), that I surely was on the way to diabetes (even though I averaged a fasting glucose of 75 and never showed any insulin resistance), and even worse, that I would not be socially acceptable as a friend or loved as a partner because my life span was surely much shorter than smaller individuals.
Living in a constant state of being told you are unworthy of love until you are something that seems completely unattainable doesn't give you any sense of a need to try and change things. People who respond to articles like this with "Quit normalizing obesity" are missing the point of these articles. They aren't here to say that we should target obesity as a status quo. They are here to say that assuming obesity is by default an unhealthy state is wrong... because obesity is simply one aspect of a person, and is not exclusive of being healthy... and the attitudes that are perpetuated in the medical community and the social community as a whole are unhelpful when it comes to implementing change. If you suffer a group of people to maintain a lonely, unloved life until they are more physically acceptable... What reasons do they have to try in the here and now?

One thing that I didn't see mentioned in this article, and forgive me if I lost it in the length, is the fact that we push the overweight to lose weight, but don't give GPs the time or training to give guidance (I know this point is mentioned, stick with me here). We don't provide in depth certification or training to those that want to call themselves nutritionists; there are plenty of people out there claiming things that have no medical basis. If a person does happen to have access to a dietitian, more often than not, that access is ONLY because the person has already developed a serious medical condition OTHER than obesity. Meaning you have to be a cardiac patient or a diabetic patient in order to gain access to dietetic programs. My physician, for example, they offered free access to a dietitian but only for diabetic patients, and since I was not diabetic, I didn't qualify for their program.

When I decided to look into getting medical specialist help with weight loss a couple years ago, I had rather comprehensive medical insurance that I paid a decent premium for through my employer. I had lost 110lbs or so by myself over a grueling 5 years that also came with a number of medical complications from that weight loss (funny how they never tell you about the negative side effects that can come with aggressive weight loss, even when you do it in a healthy way!) and then maintained a stalled loss state for over a year. So, we looked into it.
Again, my insurance would not cover medical weight loss unless I was diabetic or a cardiac patient. My weight is a huge issue for everyone and NEEDS to be changed... that is, until I ask for help! But I was informed that the one way I could obtain dietary counseling and medically assisted weight loss was if I was preparing for and receiving weight loss surgery. Up until this point, having surgery was completely against my beliefs; I wanted to lose my weight through hard work and no assistance alone. However, with the recurring complications and the extended time it was taking, I caved and went along with the plan, because I wanted the help more than I wanted to maintain my integrity.
Even so, after exploring the coverages, I was informed that only testing and procedures directly related and approved for my surgery would be covered. That meant that if I needed additional bariatric procedures not requested by my surgeon at the time of approval, it could be potentially out of pocket. The check up blood work is thousands of dollars alone. God forbid you develop an issue that requires a second surgery or the need to involve more specialists. Then you're risking a huge bill... All for the sake of weight loss.

I had a gastric bypass in November 2016. Even at the time of that surgery, we discussed this option as good, just in case I had issues later and needed a reversal in order to get enough food for my 6'1" frame. I have had relative success, but despite the number of strangers who have insisted that "just getting my stomach stapled" would fix all of my weight problems, I have not lost all of the weight I should have lost after surgery. I maintain a diet that lands usually between 1000-1500 calories a day and my daily needs are in the 2400 range for my body size, yet I'm stuck again.
I'm extremely happy with my progress but still, I will walk into public at times and get body shamed. I will have people make snide remarks about my loose skin or the rolls in my torso.

There are people who still take it upon themselves to give me dietary recommendations, to tell me I don't need certain vitamins while thinking I should add others... People that want me to join their gyms or fitness programs at a high cost to myself so that they can cash in on my before and after photos. I've had more than one program contact me to join up, wanting me to abandon all directives from my surgical team in order to follow the program plan. When I refuse, my knowledge and ability to understand my own progress and body is often belittled... For, if I knew what I was talking about, I wouldn't have gotten so fat, right?

The weirdest thing about it all is that no matter the words from the doctors, from the strangers, from the family, friends, partners, the loudest and harshest critic has always been myself. Take these messages and internalize them tenfold, and that's what you got from my brain 80% of the time until just a few years ago.

I understand why we should look at it as a concern, why we should address it. I know from my own personal experiences that obesity limits certain life experiences and that I'm generally more comfortable when I'm less heavy.

This is all the more reason why we shouldn't be shaming... We should be enabling people access to resources in any way we can! Why aren't these people shouting about the normalization of obesity not petitioning their insurance companies to cover medical weight loss programs? Not just surgery, but guided dietary change and programs? Why must a person invest hundreds of dollars to obtain quality support for this life improvement, and worse, why do so many people develop ways to take advantage of the desperation we experience when it comes to weight loss?

Every time someone asks me for help structuring a plan for dietary change, I help, no questions asked. I would love to make a living as a coach or what have you but it's important to me to reaffirm others as I reaffirm myself, so if it means I donate my time and the things I've learned the hard way, I will. I'm happy to.

The summary of it all is... The conversation needs to change.

We as a society need to stop putting roadblocks in the way for people who are trying.
We need to enable those who can't even find the path to find that path.
We need to stop demonizing the way people change their lives for the better (meaning, whatever change works for you is the way you need to go for right now, and that's okay), and stop glorifying destructive paths. That is, fastest loss is not always the best loss. Lowest calories eaten is NOT the best. There is a place for ketogenic eating, intermittent fasting, vegan/vegetarian diets, etc. and we don't all have to do the same thing.
If a person opts to utilize surgery as a tool to help them reach their goals, we should strive to provide adequate services, ongoing support and prompt response to medical concerns and fears that person has during and after the surgery process. Surgery patients need more than just the surgery date covered.
If a person opts to forego surgery for whatever reason, no matter how large they are, they deserve access to dietary counseling and nutritional profile testing just the same, to make sure that they are not causing themselves harm under the guise of health. This theory of lose the weight however you can, we'll deal with the repercussions later, it's bogus and it's part of how we all got here.

AND no matter the route one takes, if they take one at all, that individual deserves to know they are worthy of love, they are a person of value and that they can contribute magnificent things to this world. That person should have access to mental health care if needed, just like we would give access to care for any other person struggling with the grief of illness.

That person should not be like me.
Don't be the anorexic bulimic that suffered in silence 7+ years before a doctor finally recognized you're in clinical starvation.

Don't be the person that self-harmed through food, punishing yourself with starvation and binge episodes. Overeating until it's painful as a goal is not compulsive overeating, it is a form of self-harm.

Don't refuse to get mental health treatment or to make a very concerted effort to actually try to *change* until love from others exists on an ultimatum scale. Don't wait for an acute impetus. For me, it was a doctor telling me they couldn't even consider fixing my spine until I lost 200lbs because my bodyweight would ruin the spinal surgery, and that just losing that weight could allow my body to heal.
-You start to feel pretty silly when a supposedly irreversible physical injury begins to repair when you lose enough weight.

Don't tie your self-worth to the shape of your body.
Don't marry yourself to the number on a scale.

Don't let your large body be your reason to procrastinate when it comes to the things you've always wanted to do. Make that body a reason to make it happen.

You are worthy of love, from yourself and from others.
You are deserving of joy, excitement, honor, pride, the feeling of accomplishment.
No person who says "Maybe if you were [X amount of pounds] less" is worth another minute of your life.
If you suspect that your partner, your employer, your church, your ANYONE is bypassing you for celebrations, promotions or other good things, call them on it. Whether they admit it or not, hold your head high, and be willing to walk out anyway.

Very few things *actually* need to wait for your body to catch up with your ambitions.

This is one of the absolute hardest changes a person can make in their life. If you need help building the foundation or planting your anchor, I'm ready and willing to help you build out a plan of discovery.

I'm Lynn, I'm here,
And I'm Chubbalicious