Goal weight criticized
GoodLardy
Posts: 163 Member
I typed this out once and it disappeared, sorry if it’s repost. My goal weight has been criticized three times this week. I want to weigh in the 130’s. I am 5’4”. One person goal weight is much higher than mine at same height, one said I should be satisfied at 150 even though they are 135 at 5’7’. Another said because I have children and am older I should be satisfied w a higher weight. I feel like that is selling myself short. Do they want me to stay fat ? And for what reason? They said not when I asked, just said 130s is too low and skinny. Grrr!
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Replies
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My goal is 130 and I am also 5'4 I think it is a good weight for my height and is not too skinny.6
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I tend not to discuss my weight with anyone at all. This way I don't get to hear all their opinions.
I'm 5'7 and my goal is to get back to 125 which I've been my whole adult life. I don't care who thinks what about it. So I don't talk about it.34 -
You won't be too skinny. I don't think they necessarily want you to stay fat, I think it's this weird well-meaning, "Oh you don't have to go THAT far!" reassurance thing. People are weird.15
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Do whatever feels right for you. Don't listen to people. I don't talk to people about my weight loss/goals/stuggles6
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I tend not to discuss my weight with anyone at all. This way I don't get to hear all their opinions.
I'm 5'7 and my goal is to get back to 125 which I've been my whole adult life. I don't care who thinks what about it. So I don't talk about it.
I tried to avoid it but we’re all close and try to support each other and it came up when I said I would def not be happy in the 150’s, as I’ve been there before and wasn’t feeling as healthy as I’d like.2 -
I'm 5'4" and was down to 128 til I f***ed up and gained some back over the past 15 months. I'm old (64) so 128 left me with a lot of wrinkled skin, but I felt better than I have in 45 years. At 146 now, I can really see the extra fat and I'm trying to get rid of it again. You do you and don't worry about what anyone else says as long as you feel good and stay healthy. Best of luck to you.9
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130 is actually only 10lbs away from being considered overweight. I'm 5'4 too and my starting weight was in the 130s. Those people really don't know what they're talking about. Ignore their opinions and aim for the number you feel is realistic and healthy.
it's 15 pounds from being overweight.12 -
Ignore what people are saying and stop discussing with people.13
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People have all kinds of ideas. I don't think it's really even possible to know oneself what the exact ideal goal weight is, until one is getting close to it. I readjusted mine (downward) multiple times, as I got closer.
The good news is, your ultimate goal weight has zero effect on how MFP will calculate your calorie goal, so you can tell MFP anything you like, and (obviously) you can tell your friends anything you like (including "I'm not sure, but I'll know it when I get close"
). It won't change anything about the weight loss process.
The perfect weight can vary surprisingly with overall body configuration, even in people of the same height and body fat percent: Someone with broad shoulders and widely-spaced pelvic bones is going to require more pounds of lean meat to wrap around the outside of that, and most women have breast size variations besides, just to make it more complicated.
I'm 5'5" and currently around 133-134, which is a little heavier than ideal for me . . . but I'm built more like a 14-year-old-boy than a 62-year-old woman: Broad shoulders and big hands/wrists (so the stupid frame size "calculators" claim medium to large frame), but very narrow pelvis, no booty, and literally no breasts (post-mastectomies). Low to mid 120s is probably ideal, but I overshot that at one point to mid one-teens, and that was definitely too thin.
I promise, you'll know when you're getting close. There's no need to stress too much about it now . . . and definitely don't let others' unfounded advance opinions get you down: They have *no* idea, and you might as well save your energy for arguing with them when you approach goal and they start telling you you actually *are* too thin, because they're not used to seeing you at that weight <eye roll>!19 -
Why do you care? Best thing to do to avoid this is to not talk about your weight goals.
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heck im 20+ lbs overweight and right now I dont care. Im changing how my body looks by lifting weights and I feel good.now if it was putting you at a severely undwerweight area that might be one thing. but a little overweight is not a big deal unless it messes with your health. if not then carry on.9
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I tend not to discuss my weight with anyone at all. This way I don't get to hear all their opinions.
I'm 5'7 and my goal is to get back to 125 which I've been my whole adult life. I don't care who thinks what about it. So I don't talk about it.
I tried to avoid it but we’re all close and try to support each other and it came up when I said I would def not be happy in the 150’s, as I’ve been there before and wasn’t feeling as healthy as I’d like.
Change the subject and just say you dont know what your goal is.
You'll know when you get there and what is realistic to maintain and how good you feel in your skin. .......subject closed!
No numbers! Its private.7 -
I typed this out once and it disappeared, sorry if it’s repost. My goal weight has been criticized three times this week. I want to weigh in the 130’s. I am 5’4”. One person goal weight is much higher than mine at same height, one said I should be satisfied at 150 even though they are 135 at 5’7’. Another said because I have children and am older I should be satisfied w a higher weight. I feel like that is selling myself short. Do they want me to stay fat ? And for what reason? They said not when I asked, just said 130s is too low and skinny. Grrr!
Keep in mind that approximately 70% of Americans are overweight, half of those are obese. This means the average size, is overweight. So being a healthy weight seems very low, but only because it's well below average. I'm 5'7", 42, and just under 160lbs - I've been questioned about wanting to get to 150lbs and even been told that I'm already "skinny, so I would end up anorexic looking", I just roll my eyes and ignore them. There's also the ugly side where bettering yourself can bring out the worst in other people.
So long as you're healthy and happy, that is all that matters. It's your body and your life.18 -
I've gotten the same thing. I'm 5'5" and my goal is 130. It's right smack dab in the middle of a healthy weight (based on BMI) so I mostly just ignore them.6
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I typed this out once and it disappeared, sorry if it’s repost. My goal weight has been criticized three times this week. I want to weigh in the 130’s. I am 5’4”. One person goal weight is much higher than mine at same height, one said I should be satisfied at 150 even though they are 135 at 5’7’. Another said because I have children and am older I should be satisfied w a higher weight. I feel like that is selling myself short. Do they want me to stay fat ? And for what reason? They said not when I asked, just said 130s is too low and skinny. Grrr!
Hey it is the web so some have a need to say things about things that is none of their business. It is our job to ignore the idle talk and truck on as I see it.5 -
Just focus on what you want. I don't think there's anything wrong with your height and weight goals. People will throw their opinions out and you may not like them. Ive had my fair share of that experience. Its the whole reason why i stopped asking questions on this site in reguards to my goals and how i can improve. So again just focus on yourself and you will know when its enough.3
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Simple answer is to tell them to mind their own business.7
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I typed this out once and it disappeared, sorry if it’s repost. My goal weight has been criticized three times this week. I want to weigh in the 130’s. I am 5’4”. One person goal weight is much higher than mine at same height, one said I should be satisfied at 150 even though they are 135 at 5’7’. Another said because I have children and am older I should be satisfied w a higher weight. I feel like that is selling myself short. Do they want me to stay fat ? And for what reason? They said not when I asked, just said 130s is too low and skinny. Grrr!
The healthy weight range for 5'4" is 104-145 lbs I think.
I am 44 years old and also 5'4". 150 lbs is okay but I have felt my best in the past at 125 lbs. I'd be happy and comfortable at 130. It is not too low a weight. I don't know why having kids or being older should mean you should remain 5 lbs overweight.
Maybe these are not people to discuss your goals with. They do not seem to be supportive of you being a healthy weight for some weird reason. Maybe they just do not know what a healthy weight range would be?
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Keep in mind that approximately 70% of Americans are overweight, half of those are obese. This means the average size, is overweight. So being a healthy weight seems very low, but only because it's well below average. I'm 5'7", 42, and just under 160lbs - I've been questioned about wanting to get to 150lbs and even been told that I'm already "skinny, so I would end up anorexic looking", I just roll my eyes and ignore them. There's also the ugly side where bettering yourself can bring out the worst in other people.
So long as you're healthy and happy, that is all that matters. It's your body and your life.
I think you are spot on, @VUA21 I have the same experiences with friends when we talk about my journey and I think here we have the highest per cent rates of obesity in Europe, 63% of adults are overweight or obese and many wouldn't describe themselves as even overweight/obese.
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So I may be out of line, I am male and 71 so it doesn’t seem to me that your goal is out of line. In Jan of 17 I was 270 with lots of health warnings. I changed my diet to limit carbs, increase protein and lost some weight. By last May I started walking. Tracked steps and got into mfp. I am now down to my target weight of 185. I will be walking a 1/2 marathon in a few weeks. I walk sub 14 min miles. The charts say at my weight I am borderline overweight at 185. But you have to do what fells right to you not what others say. Go for your goal not what the charts or others say. If I can get there so can you. The last 7 lbs took me almost 4 months. And that is with walking 50 miles a week swimming and strict tracking of my food and staying below my targets.9
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Friends say the weirdest things when they are trying to be supportive. I love my friends just the way they are so when they want to make a drastic change to improve themselves I might think the goal is overblown as I don’t see the issue as problem they need to fix.
Thank them for being sweet as they are saying they don’t need you to be thin to love you but then crush your goal and keep going until you are happy. 130 is reasonable for your height.9 -
You are the only one whose opinion matters. I am 62 and 5'6". I was happy at 130 pounds (started at 177), but ended up continuing to lose weight when I got there and am now in the low 120s. I think I look pretty good, though there are still parts of me that are larger than I'd like (thighs). Some people think I look skinny. I'm comfortable with what and how much I'm eating and I have enough energy to run and hike, so I'll continue to maintain this weight.6
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I would just tell them *kitten* you and the horse they rode in on. On second thought, the horse is probably okay,
You do you, best of luck.5 -
I tend not to discuss my weight with anyone at all. This way I don't get to hear all their opinions.
I'm 5'7 and my goal is to get back to 125 which I've been my whole adult life. I don't care who thinks what about it. So I don't talk about it.
I tried to avoid it but we’re all close and try to support each other and it came up when I said I would def not be happy in the 150’s, as I’ve been there before and wasn’t feeling as healthy as I’d like.
Given your take on their comments, they are not supporting you. Don't pay attention.2 -
It's all personal preference. I actually have a gang of woo'ers who think I am too thin (been at maintenance a year and very healthy thank you very much!) and apparently follow me around and woo my posts. Seriously I think the american EYEBALL has lost track of what in shape looks like. The scale is so tipped to accept heavy as normal. You do you and when you feel good you will know it.15
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Do what feels right for you. Your life, your journey. Opinions are just opinions, treat them as such and have a wonderful life! Rainbows and roses to you
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SummerSkier wrote: »It's all personal preference. I actually have a gang of woo'ers who think I am too thin (been at maintenance a year and very healthy thank you very much!) and apparently follow me around and woo my posts. Seriously I think the american EYEBALL has lost track of what in shape looks like. The scale is so tipped to accept heavy as normal. You do you and when you feel good you will know it.
@SummerSkier And not just Americans, we have the same problem in UK and Ireland. Obesity is on the rise.9 -
I typed this out once and it disappeared, sorry if it’s repost. My goal weight has been criticized three times this week. I want to weigh in the 130’s. I am 5’4”. One person goal weight is much higher than mine at same height, one said I should be satisfied at 150 even though they are 135 at 5’7’. Another said because I have children and am older I should be satisfied w a higher weight. I feel like that is selling myself short. Do they want me to stay fat ? And for what reason? They said not when I asked, just said 130s is too low and skinny. Grrr!
I would go with where you feel comfortable not according to bmi. You can look on mybodygallery and see that people can look very different at the same weight. I am with the people who said that older people, like grandparents, look better a little heavier. 130 is actually very low for 5'4''. I'd aim for the high side of normal and then adjust as you see your pictures and as you feel comfortable. That's what I'm going to do. I honestly believe that women normally go too low when they lose weight and would look better with a few extra pounds.14
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