I need a little help

thereshegoesagain · September 2018

I am a 60 year old woman. I lost 90ish pounds over a couple of years using MFP and have maintained for 4 years with little work

5 months ago I left my husband of 20 years and moved out of state. We are very fortunate that we have no children and are financially secure.

I moved to a small town where I already had a couple of friends and rented a condo for 6 months.

4 months in I found how much I love my neighbors and community, bought an identical condo and am in the middle of a total remodel. (it is coming along beautifully)

I joined the local recreation center where I am able to continue my daily swim routine of 1 to 1.5 miles 6 days a week.

For the past month or so, I have been struggling with a continuing my healthy diet and have gained about 5 pounds. I can't seem to get my head back into my mindset that eating healthy food and appropriate portions is worth it. I have kind of a "F- it"attitude.

I am still eating healthy foods, but the portions are out of control and I find myself reaching for food all of the time. I know it is a comfort thing but can't seem to make the mind shift back to healthy portions and proper times to eat.

I know that I'm under stress and juggling alot, but would love your thoughts on how to cope better and reign in my caloric intake.

VUA21 · September 2018

Log all your foods. Then look at what you are eating the most frequently that is also high in calories. That's where you start!

Pick one or two foods that you can slightly reduce portions. If they are very calorie dense, that small change can be the difference between gaining and losing.

If you find yourself hungry, increase the portion sizes of lower calorie foods.

StarBright147 · September 2018

Trying to keep unhealthy snacks out of the house. Make it inconvenient to get access to them. Out of sight out of mind.

pogiguy05 · September 2018

Well as I read your post I get a feeling something is missing. What happened a month or so ago that caused you to have a change in mindset? I know for me that out of control eating thing is both stress and emotionally triggered.

88olds · September 2018

I’m 68. 3 years ago I retired. In a few days, I’ll hit my 12 year anniversary for Weight Watchers Lifetime. I’ve lost over 100 lbs, the last 40 on WW. Initially, I made my WW goal but kept tracking my intake for 5 more years before I could go long periods without it. But still, I’ve had episodes of backsliding. In my 12 years of maintaining, I’ve gone back to tracking aka a food diary, 3 times. Twice I counted WW points, once calories on MFP. It has worked every time.

Everyone’s idea of healthy eating is going to be a bit different. I think what I eat is healthy enough. But too much food, healthy or not, is going to result in weight gains. Even now, in a period when I’m not keeping a diary, my food scale is on the counter and gets used every day. It’s how I keep my portions under control.

And this- you say you are financially secure, and don’t mention work. Do you have a lot of unstructured time? With the disruptions in your life do you find yourself doing a lot of rattling around in the house snacking? If so, get out.

Best advice I read on retirement was to keep forcing myself out of my comfort zone. They have Pickleball where you are? It’s a great way to meet new people and have fun. Lately I’ve taken up yoga. I just kind of get the idea from your post that maybe you need to get out more, that and a food diary.

Last- kudos for this post. 5 of 90 lbs, doesn’t seem like much, but regaining is a real threat. Act now.

thereshegoesagain · September 2018

Thank you. Your words made me think about what has changed and I found that the fact that I'm spending much more money than Im used to is stressing me out. I am under budget with my remodel, but the act of writing big checks has thrown me off.
Today I got my scale back out and put it on my counter, so I have no excuse to not weigh my food and over eat. I think/hope/pray that I am back on track.
Thank you so much!

nutmegoreo · September 2018

thereshegoesagain wrote: »

Thank you. Your words made me think about what has changed and I found that the fact that I'm spending much more money than Im used to is stressing me out. I am under budget with my remodel, but the act of writing big checks has thrown me off.
Today I got my scale back out and put it on my counter, so I have no excuse to not weigh my food and over eat. I think/hope/pray that I am back on track.
Thank you so much!

Hopefully, getting focused on logging again will help you wrap your head around all the changes you're going through right now. Best to catch it at 5 lbs gained. You can do it. Is there someplace in your new location where you can take some yoga or meditation? It might help to calm your mind a bit.

thereshegoesagain · September 2018

I do a 45 minute yoga session every single morning, ending with a prayer for wisdom, strength and gratitude. It's one of the best parts of my day.

Thank you for your thoughts.

nutmegoreo · September 2018

thereshegoesagain wrote: »

I do a 45 minute yoga session every single morning, ending with a prayer for wisdom, strength and gratitude. It's one of the best parts of my day.

Thank you for your thoughts.

I love that you are doing that! I need to be more consistent. What about adding in a 15-30 minute session before bed as well?

Evelyn_Gorfram · September 2018

thereshegoesagain wrote: »

I am a 60 year old woman. I lost 90ish pounds over a couple of years using MFP and have maintained for 4 years with little work

5 months ago I left my husband of 20 years and moved out of state. We are very fortunate that we have no children and are financially secure.

I moved to a small town where I already had a couple of friends and rented a condo for 6 months.

4 months in I found how much I love my neighbors and community, bought an identical condo and am in the middle of a total remodel. (it is coming along beautifully)

I joined the local recreation center where I am able to continue my daily swim routine of 1 to 1.5 miles 6 days a week.

For the past month or so, I have been struggling with a continuing my healthy diet and have gained about 5 pounds. I can't seem to get my head back into my mindset that eating healthy food and appropriate portions is worth it. I have kind of a "F- it"attitude.

I am still eating healthy foods, but the portions are out of control and I find myself reaching for food all of the time. I know it is a comfort thing but can't seem to make the mind shift back to healthy portions and proper times to eat.

I know that I'm under stress and juggling alot, but would love your thoughts on how to cope better and reign in my caloric intake.

You've had a lot going on. Rating your last six months according to the Holmes and Rahe stress scale, (and remembering that good things are stressful, too) you've got:

73 points - Divorce
31 points - Major mortgage (assuming you took one for the new condo)
25 points - Change in living conditions (rented condo)
25 points - Change in living conditions New Home (purchased condo)
25 points - Change in living conditions (full remodel of new condo)
20 points - Change in residence (move out of state)
19 points - Change in recreation (joining rec center)
19 points - Change in social activities (new friends in new town)

That adds up to 212 points, which is actually not too bad. 150 and below is serene monk tending garden on quiet hillside, and 300 and above is berserk maniac climbing the walls. (Okay, so that's not the way that Holmes and Rahe described their upper and lower ranges.)

Still, if I were in your place, I'd probably want to spend a lot of time strolling near calm bodies of water and taking bubble baths in much smaller bodies of much warmer water. You mentioned yoga, which is wonderful. Tai Chi is great too, if there are classes locally and it's something you wanted to take on.

As to your change in attitude towards eating, I recommended being kind to yourself. By my math, a month ago is when you bought the new condo and started the remodel; which seems to me like a great big change paired with a great big commitment to your new home and new town. And didn't the change in your mindset about diet start right around then?

My advice would be to treat the last month's eating habits and those five pounds as a bobble, a brief disturbance in your eating habits following in the wake of all the other changes and progress and good things you have brought about for yourself. And then make it stick by remembering the reasons why you wanted to lose weight in the first places, and all the benefits of that weight loss that you've been enjoying for the past four years. (Maybe even haul out some old photo albums - if you can find them.

)

And do start logging your food again. For me at least, it brings about a self-awareness - a mindfulness, if you will - that really grounds me with respect to how I relate to my body. (That sounds kind of new-agey and woo-woo-ish, I know, but I'm not sure how else it can be put.)

countcurt · September 2018

Here's one more thought-

You've got a lot going on in your life that you have little to know control over (or so it seems). You have total control over what you decide to put in your mouth. Consider exercising that control as an anchor for an otherwise tumultuous period in your life.

Normally we think of anchors as things that weigh us down. Perhaps. But anchors also moor us. Which we all seem to need from time to time.

thereshegoesagain · September 2018

Personally the Stress Scale doesn't fit my situation. It doesn't take into account how much I miss my pets, how disappointed I am in women who I considered good friends because only a couple contacted me to wish me well, (they are siding with my husband because their husbands are all golf buddies with mine), how much I miss my volunteer job, how little sleep I get, etc, etc, etc.

I know that 6 months down the road I will be in a much happier place. I will either get my old pets or adopt new ones, I already have some new friends, I will find a place to volunteer and I will be able to sleep without assistance. And that is where my focus is, down.the road.

In the meantime I will get up every morning, put one foot in front of the other and weigh & log my food.

Thank you for your thoughts and suggestions, they really did help.

Evelyn_Gorfram · September 2018

thereshegoesagain wrote: »

Personally the Stress Scale doesn't fit my situation. It doesn't take into account how much I miss my pets, how disappointed I am in women who I considered good friends because only a couple contacted me to wish me well, (they are siding with my husband because their husbands are all golf buddies with mine), how much I miss my volunteer job, how little sleep I get, etc, etc, etc.

I know that 6 months down the road I will be in a much happier place. I will either get my old pets or adopt new ones, I already have some new friends, I will find a place to volunteer and I will be able to sleep without assistance. And that is where my focus is, down.the road.

In the meantime I will get up every morning, put one foot in front of the other and weigh & log my food.

Thank you for your thoughts and suggestions, they really did help.

I am so sorry if I seemed to be minimizing your stress. My intention was just the opposite, but I think maybe I blew it there...

When my mom left my dad, we (us kids too) lost our entire religious community. My father was a bigwig in church circles, and everybody sided with him. It hurt like hell.

May I ask why you're not getting enough sleep? Is it a matter of too little time, or are you having trouble with insomnia?

You mentioned volunteering. Assuming that the sleep thing isn't about too little time, have you considered volunteering at a local animal shelter? That might help with missing your pets, too.

thereshegoesagain · September 2018

I don't feel you minimized my stress, I feel that the Stress Scale can't take into account the many things that add to stress.
I'm unable to volunteer just yet since I'm in the middle of a major remodel which takes up much of my time, but I will definately look into it once things settle down and get more normal for me.
My sleep issues vary, yesterday I woke up at 2:30am with my mind racing about whether my handyman can build an entertainment center or if I should buy one. I couldn't get back to sleep, so got up at 3:30 to do yoga, then spent some time online looking at ent. centers for sale before going for my swim. Today my damn smoke alarm started chirping at 3:00am and my ceilings are so high I need a ladder to change the batteries. I tend to have 3-4 bad nights of sleep, then get 1 really good night, rinse & repeat. I take various OTC sleep aids, but never 2 nights in a row sinceI have an addictive personality.
I'll get through this, it's just a really sucky time in my life.
On a good note, I had a man about 20 years younger than I hit on me in the market the other day. I have no intetest whatsoever, but it sure chirped me up.
I thank you for your ideas and concern!

thereshegoesagain · October 2018

I just thought that I'd update. Thanks to your advice, I am back on track and down 4 lbs.
I'm back into my my habits of reading the MFP community postings in the morning, making good choices and weighing & logging everything.
Many thanks!

nutmegoreo · October 2018

thereshegoesagain wrote: »

I just thought that I'd update. Thanks to your advice, I am back on track and down 4 lbs.
I'm back into my my habits of reading the MFP community postings in the morning, making good choices and weighing & logging everything.
Many thanks!

This is lovely to hear. How are you doing as far as settling in?

thereshegoesagain · October 2018

I hope to.move into my new home in 2 weeks or so. Still having trouble sleeping and am emotional but keep looking ahead.
Thank you for asking.

nutmegoreo · October 2018

thereshegoesagain wrote: »

I hope to.move into my new home in 2 weeks or so. Still having trouble sleeping and am emotional but keep looking ahead.
Thank you for asking.

(((hugs))) I know we have the button, but it just doesn't seem like enough. Keep your chin up and keep moving forward. It will be okay, some day.

I need a little help

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