NEED ALOT OF HELP TO GET THROUGH THIS

I don't know what to tell you, other than I am here if you need to talk. I hope things turn around for you

Aw, that is so hard If you love someone let them go isn't just a saying though - she will be back, I promise you :flowerforyou: Just keep telling her you love her, show her that its true, always be there for her and I guarantee you that you'll win out in the end xxx

There's nothing we can say or do on here, being as we can't run round to be with you. But please know that we will always listen (read?) anything you want to tell us. Try really hard not to use food as a prop. You know in your brain that it really won't help you, it isn't your friend at this moment. Please, please don't let this get you started on a spiral downwards. Your daughter loves you, you love her, I'm sure in time she will realise what she wants for sure and whatever her decision you must try to support her because that's what loving mum's do. :flowerforyou:

I am a daughter of divorce myself, so hopefully I can help you from a different perspective.

Don't take her decision personally. I lived with my mother after my parents divorced when I was 6. If she's a teenager/pre-teen, part of her choice may be due to her age. I was a complete and total snot between the ages of 13 and 19, especially to my mother. My mother lived and would have died for her children. We were/are her life. Yet at that age, it was impossible for me to see that all of her decisions that I thought "ruined my life" were actually made out of pure love and a desire to do the best for me, whether I liked it or not. It wasn't until many years later that I could finally see my mother for who she is. And when I did, I saw that she is beautiful and become very grateful. Our relationship while I was growing up was volitile at times, but all mother/daughter relationships are for a period.

There may be many factors behind her decision to live with her father. I don't know what kind of relationship dynamics exist in your family, but from my experience I always sought out my father when I felt my mother was being "unfair." When both parents live together, children will try to pit their parents against each other from time to time. The difference when parents live seperately is that information can more easily be skewed and the leverage is much more dramatic.

If she wants to live with her father, I say let her go without a fight. Let her know that you love her and will miss her, but don't try to make her feel guilty for the decision. It will only push her away faster at this point. As long as the environment there is healthy and her father is just as mindful of her well-being as you are, she will be fine. And so will you. She will appreciate your trust in her decision. After the initial "freedom from mom's house" phase wears off, she will start to miss you and your relationship can even heal. Just continue to show her unconditional love. Call her every other day, just to check-in. Keep the conversations short unless you have something specific to talk about. Be patient. Make sure you stay highly involved with her parenting via her father. Things will be alright. You will adjust. She will always be your daughter, and even though she doesn't always show it, she does love you. That will never change.

Sorry you are feeling so bad. Just make sure you tell your daughter you lover her & she is always wanted & welcome back. Keep strong in this very difficult time, take care of yourself by eating the right foods, exercising and talking to friends and people her at MFP.

Teens always want to experience life, pushing boundaries is what makes them grow up. She might just be wanting a deeper relationship with her father that she hasn't had, that desire can be very strong. Remember you will always be her mother, she will always need you.