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CaladriaNapea
Posts: 138Member Member
Posts: 138Member Member
I Still Have Chronic Obesity (even a year into maintenance . . .)
CaladriaNapea
Posts: 138Member Member
Posts: 138Member Member
Hello, MFP!
So my one year anniversary for maintaining my 63 pound weight loss was back in August. I meant to post a "woohoo" post, but couldn't think of anything that I hadn't really said back when I originally hit maintenance. However, my husband is gone for work this month, and on Sunday night I went back to poor habits and pulled out my old friend, the tub of ice cream, for comfort. Half a carton of Blue Bell (don't believe the food logs, they only tell the story of my first go with the carton), a couple of days, and a couple of pounds of water weight (and not water weight . . . ) later, I began thinking about what happened.
"Chronic obesity" is a phrase I've heard a number of times, and it has become a critical mindset me in order to help me maintain my weight. When I lost weight back in college, I thought of the weight as gone. But it wasn't. It was lurking. Waiting for me to let my guard down (which I did almost immediately, FYI) and then it sprang back in full force. This time around, I repeatedly make sure to tell myself that the weight may be gone, but the obesity isn't.
I will always be obese.
I will always need to weigh myself daily in order to monitor the trends in my symptoms.
I will always need to count my calories in order to prevent my obesity from gradually building up like in the past.
I will always need to eat mostly fiber-rich, protein-rich foods (and tons of veggies) in order to keep full so that I won't have a relapse.
I will always need to watch for signs of flare-ups (such as the binge-session with the ice cream . . .) and respond accordingly by keeping an even closer eye on my symptoms.
I will always need to exercise in order to allow myself to eat more calories and make it easier to manage my obesity.
I will always need to plan my schedule in order to enable me to keep the routines that hold obesity at bay.
I will always need to count calories, watch what I eat, exercise, watch my weight, plan my schedule, and manage my obesity in the present moment, because I know exactly what will happen if I do not: First, the weight will come back. Then I will gain more weight on top of that. Next, I will develop comorbidities such as Type II obesity (like members of my family), I will have heart attacks far too young (like the same members of my family), and I will be unable to do the things that I love and spend time with the people I love because I will have allowed my disease to control me instead of me controlling it.
But I have an advantage: I know my disease. I know its patterns, its symptoms, its warning signs. I know how to fight it, treat it, and what I need to do every day in order to keep it from returning in full force. I will always be obese. I just strive to never be overweight again.
This mindset helps enormously when I fail (such as last Sunday). Instead of my binge eating reflecting on me failing as a human, I view it as a flare-up. Flare-ups are inevitable with any disease. My job is to prevent them when possible and mitigate the consequences as much as I can. On Sunday night, I did not manage my disease wisely in that moment, but it's okay because I caught myself and I am watching my symptoms (e.g. weight, cravings, unhealthy mindsets) and making sure to ground myself in the routines that I know work to help me manage my obesity. In other words--I am returning to normal. Not the normal that everyone who doesn't have obesity enjoys, but I am returning to my normal. A normal that allows me to live the life God has given me to its fullest. A life that allows me to enjoy life now and later. A normal that I will need to maintain probably until the day I die and begin the life beyond this one.
Thanks for reading!
Oh, and I hit one year of maintenance! Woohoo!
So my one year anniversary for maintaining my 63 pound weight loss was back in August. I meant to post a "woohoo" post, but couldn't think of anything that I hadn't really said back when I originally hit maintenance. However, my husband is gone for work this month, and on Sunday night I went back to poor habits and pulled out my old friend, the tub of ice cream, for comfort. Half a carton of Blue Bell (don't believe the food logs, they only tell the story of my first go with the carton), a couple of days, and a couple of pounds of water weight (and not water weight . . . ) later, I began thinking about what happened.
"Chronic obesity" is a phrase I've heard a number of times, and it has become a critical mindset me in order to help me maintain my weight. When I lost weight back in college, I thought of the weight as gone. But it wasn't. It was lurking. Waiting for me to let my guard down (which I did almost immediately, FYI) and then it sprang back in full force. This time around, I repeatedly make sure to tell myself that the weight may be gone, but the obesity isn't.
I will always be obese.
I will always need to weigh myself daily in order to monitor the trends in my symptoms.
I will always need to count my calories in order to prevent my obesity from gradually building up like in the past.
I will always need to eat mostly fiber-rich, protein-rich foods (and tons of veggies) in order to keep full so that I won't have a relapse.
I will always need to watch for signs of flare-ups (such as the binge-session with the ice cream . . .) and respond accordingly by keeping an even closer eye on my symptoms.
I will always need to exercise in order to allow myself to eat more calories and make it easier to manage my obesity.
I will always need to plan my schedule in order to enable me to keep the routines that hold obesity at bay.
I will always need to count calories, watch what I eat, exercise, watch my weight, plan my schedule, and manage my obesity in the present moment, because I know exactly what will happen if I do not: First, the weight will come back. Then I will gain more weight on top of that. Next, I will develop comorbidities such as Type II obesity (like members of my family), I will have heart attacks far too young (like the same members of my family), and I will be unable to do the things that I love and spend time with the people I love because I will have allowed my disease to control me instead of me controlling it.
But I have an advantage: I know my disease. I know its patterns, its symptoms, its warning signs. I know how to fight it, treat it, and what I need to do every day in order to keep it from returning in full force. I will always be obese. I just strive to never be overweight again.
This mindset helps enormously when I fail (such as last Sunday). Instead of my binge eating reflecting on me failing as a human, I view it as a flare-up. Flare-ups are inevitable with any disease. My job is to prevent them when possible and mitigate the consequences as much as I can. On Sunday night, I did not manage my disease wisely in that moment, but it's okay because I caught myself and I am watching my symptoms (e.g. weight, cravings, unhealthy mindsets) and making sure to ground myself in the routines that I know work to help me manage my obesity. In other words--I am returning to normal. Not the normal that everyone who doesn't have obesity enjoys, but I am returning to my normal. A normal that allows me to live the life God has given me to its fullest. A life that allows me to enjoy life now and later. A normal that I will need to maintain probably until the day I die and begin the life beyond this one.
Thanks for reading!
Oh, and I hit one year of maintenance! Woohoo!
Replies
Lol! Me too . . . I saw that conclusion coming a mile away, so after experiencing crippling shame and anger at myself, I threw out the rest of the ice cream and proceeded to take the trash out at 3:00 AM in the morning. :P Halo Top is the only thing that is left to me now . . . at least if I polish off a carton of that I'm only 360 calories down.
Interesting post. I can definitely relate to the chronic obesity mindset
However, unlike the previous people who have found your story inspiring, I actually found it quite sad.
Why are you resigning yourself to a life time of obesity? What was most upsetting was your reference to knowing that you will ‘always be obese.’
You’ve already proven to yourself that you can lose weight, don’t settle for the life you describe and live in fear of all the related illnesses you mention if you ‘slip up’.
Track calories, avoid processed & sugar based foods and exercise (30 min cardio 3 – 4 days a walk – any kind). You will reach a healthy weight.
For context, I speak from experience, I too at one point was classed as overweight (borderline obese based on BMI as mine peaked at 29 and only needs to be 30 to be classed as medically obese). I made a decision that this wasn’t a life I wanted and lost it. I have maintained a normal healthy weight for 5+ years by:
Tracking calories – I do this using MFP every single day, no excuses – only days off are holidays (max 2 weeks at a time), birthdays, Christmas and strategically planned cheat days.
Adjusting goals in MFP to achieve my goals accordingly – make sure you adjustment your weight as it drops and so your calorie goals set by the app are accurate.
Banking calories - in reference to ‘planned cheat days’ you seem to beat yourself up a lot for what you call ‘binging on ice cream’. I agree the binging on anything is dangerous both mentally and physically but rather than feel like you’ve massively failed, have day each week where you plan a meal or treat of your choice that you can look forward to. You can even ‘bank’ calories for this e.g. if you want to have a 2,500 calorie cheat day but to lose weight you need to eat 1,700 a day, just eat 1,500 instead for a couple of days. Then over a week, you’ve still achieved your calorie goal.
Buying a FitBit – helps motivate me to move and on days I am not doing cardio, I make sure I walk a minimum number of steps a day. Even around the house if you have to!
Factoring in 30 mins of cardio (minimum 3 – 4 times a week) – I have a stationary bike which sits in my spare room, I love it and means I don’t even have to leave the house.
I am currently 25 weeks pregnant with my first child and its more difficult than ever to eat healthily (especially as I have to eat more than I did before) and keep up exercise. But it is possible and I’m managing to gain weight at the recommended pace (more baby and body changes than extra body fat)… I’m exhausted most days and could easily sit eat ice cream every day, you know what? I ate a whole tub of Ben & jerry’s last week and that’s ok! You can still live your life and enjoy food, you just need a balance and once you’ve reached your goal weight, it is easier.
Friendly advice based on experience, I hope it helps.
Love yourself, aim high and good luck xx
I'm in the same boat. I've managed to maintain a weight in the healthy BMI range for over a year now but I'm an obese person in a currently normal-weight body. Staying at this weight requires constant vigilance on my part.
Seska422 hit the nail on the head! I'm sorry that my original post was unclear in the phrasing. Please know that I take absolutely no offense to what you said, and I appreciate your offered help! My original victory post (which I link to in the beginning of my post above) goes into the details and strategies that I used to achieve my weight goal (and that I have used since then to maintain weight loss). I started out with a BMI of 32, and I currently have a BMI of 22. I typically run 4-6 times a week, bank calories for the weekends, reach 10,000-12,000 steps on my FitBit each day, try to eat overall more nutritionally-dense foods, weight myself daily, and I weigh and log all of my food (except for around 7 days a year that I plan to take off).
What my post above is doing is not saying that weight loss is impossible. Quite the opposite, actually--CICO is a scientific fact. For everyone. What I was trying to do, however, was to tease apart the ideas of being overweight and being an obese person. I know that no matter how long I have practiced the habits that I have spent a lot of time, energy, and will on making into routines, I will always be predisposed toward obesity. I will always have the mindset of a fat person. I will always be the fat person underneath. I take joy in my body, and my self-confidence has sky-rocketed since I hit maintenance, but I know that the underlying obese mindset is something I will always wrestle with.
And honestly, I am totally okay with this. I am by no means miserably resigned to my fate! I do not find my habits onerous. I love running, I look forward to walking my dog. Weighing my food makes me weirdly happy deep down inside. I specifically built up sustainable habits and routines that I genuinely enjoy. I had to, because I know that whatever tools I use to maintain my weight, I am going to have to use forever. I dang well better enjoy them!
Good work, so far. I think your commitment to consistency is key, and will help you in the long term. Something that helps me is to remember that "nothing tastes so good, as feeling good."
I initially had the same reaction, but I realized that my issue was simply the use of the term "obesity". I define obesity as the actual state of being obese, where the OP used it as the name of the disease she struggles with. Similar to how a sober alcoholic is still an alcoholic, OP suffers from obesity despite being in maintenance. After looking past the word choice, I really liked what they had to say.
@CaladriaNapea, congratulations on a year of maintenance!!
I have it in my head that CICO is my life now. I too love the challenge of eating to specific calorie amount and weighing my food/fuel. I take great pride in my daily successes in keeping to my goals. This lifestyle has made me focus more on daily routines which have improved my family life as well. More organization equals less chaos!
Much continued success.