FINALLY GOT A GIRLFRIEND!!!

IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »

Great job. Have fun, make sure you don't take her for granted, and value yourself in the relationship.

huango wrote: »

Does your girlfriend like to talk?

My hubby is the strong silent type, which works for me because I like to talk.
So just be there and listen to her.
She's not really looking for you to solve any problems...



OH: maybe you can talk about the 5 love languages, to find out HOW she likes to be loved.


I love #4 Acts of Service:
- unload the dishwasher, charge my electric car, bring the laundry up from the basement.

I can't stand #3 Receiving Gifts:
- it's usually the wrong size or he spent WAY too much (of OUR money), etc.





5 Love Languages

1. Words of affirmation
According to Dr. Chapman, this language uses words to affirm other people. For those who prefer the words of affirmation language, hearing "I love you" and other compliments are what they value the most. Words hold real value within this language. Furthermore, negative or insulting comments cut deep — and won't be easily forgiven.

2. Quality time
This language is all about giving the other person your undivided attention. Unlike the words of affirmation language, talk is cheap and being a loved one's main focus leaves quality timers feeling satisfied and comforted. Distractions, postponed dates, or the failure to listen can be especially hurtful to these individuals. Being there for them is crucial.

3. Receiving gifts
Dr. Chapman says for some people, what makes them feel most loved is to receive a tangible gift. This doesn't necessarily mean the person is materialistic, but a meaningful or thoughtful present it was makes them feel appreciated.

4. Acts of service
For these people, actions speak louder than words. People who speak the language of service want their partner to recognize that their life is rough and help them out in any way possible. Lending a helping hand shows you really care. People who thrive on this language do not deal well with broken promises — or perceived laziness — and have very little tolerance for people who make more work for them. Basically, if you're not willing to show your appreciation by doing them a favor, you're saying you don't value them.

5. Physical touch
To this person, nothing speaks more deeply than appropriate touch. That doesn't mean only in the bedroom — everyday physical connections, like hand-holding, kissing, or any type of re-affirming physical contact is greatly appreciated. A person who speaks the language of physical touch isn't necessarily an over-the-top PDA'er, but getting a little touchy-feely does make them feel safe and loved. Any instance of physical abuse is a total deal breaker.

slessofme wrote: »

SeresaEarl wrote: »

iMago wrote: »

SeresaEarl wrote: »

marksweightloss wrote: »

AnnieH_4512 wrote: »

Take it slow!
Get to know her.
Have fun and enjoy each other’s company.
Make her laugh!

That's great advice!

That is good advice, but what about when it starts getting awkward? I feel like I just ask the dumbest questions all the time..

always try to say less, instead of more.
you wanna guide the convo sure, but only ask questions you really do wanna know basically- don't just try to fill the empty air with empty questions.

and let her talk as much as she wants. you wanna be the one who listens more instead of just talking over her.
basically try to treat her like she's in a romantic movie, but she's the star, not you.
you can keep her as long as you make her feel like that.

Interesting, she doesn’t say too much, so it is hard to guide the convo when neither of us are saying anything. But I definitely agree that I should stop asking random questions to fill the air. Thanks for the insight!

Being comfortable together with no talking can be a really good thing.