He wants to gain, I want to lose. How can I make meals for that meet both of our needs??
kkell2017
Posts: 7 Member
So basically, my husband has been going to the gym, eating more calories, mass gainer etc, and he wants to gain weight (healthy weight). Meanwhile I am trying to lose weight. This makes it difficult sometime for me when I want to cook dinner and the recipes I use is mainly low calorie, low carb etc. I know it doesn’t bother him, but I also want him to reach his goals as well as I want to reach mine.
Does any one have any tips, advice or thoughts on how I can make this work for both of our goals?
Thanks in advance!
Does any one have any tips, advice or thoughts on how I can make this work for both of our goals?
Thanks in advance!
0
Replies
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Just give him bigger portions.
I have crockpot meals there are pretty low cal that everyone in the family loves. I eat one serving, my SO eats 2-3 and my kids typically eat 2. Everyone basically is eating the portion size of the dish that best fits their individual needs.7 -
Easy, bigger portions for him, smaller for you.6
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Just take a page from hobbits and feed him second dinner (kind of like second breakfast). Essentially a second plate he can heat up two hours later.5
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My husband and I seem to be on opposite cut/bulk cycles. It’s not that hard to manage. We eat breakfast and lunch separately because of our schedules already with the exclusion of one weekend brunch. Brunch is a big family thing once a week so we don’t stress on it and just adjust snack and dinner calories around it.
For dinner we always have a starch, veg, and protein. Whoever is cutting usually goes small or skips the starch completely. Whoever is bulking gets double protein and enjoys the starch. We don’t worry about the veggies unless it’s a salad night and the person cutting will typically skip dressing or just do a little vinegar. There’s no need for different menus, just modify how you serve it.6 -
The problem with that is, he doesn’t have a “big” stomach. He can eat much bigger portions, because he gets full and if he over eats then he feels sick.musicfan68 wrote: »Easy, bigger portions for him, smaller for you.
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This is my boyfriend and I! A lot of it just comes down to portion control for us. I load up on the veggies, while he tends to grab, well, a lot of everything!
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It’s hard for him to eat a lot of extra portions. He works nights and doesn’t have access to a microwave to reheat, and if he eats to much at once he feels sick (over eating). He doesn’t have a “big” stomach.
He is trying so hard to gain, and it’s just not happening.0 -
Can you make two versions of your dinner? So add extra oil or butter for better fats on his veggies or whatever, but keep yours lighter? Sometimes my boyfriend and I do this. He'll butter a bun (or I'll skip the bun altogether), or he'll add a bit of extra butter on his veggies.
Maybe just talk to him about how you can work in more calories (that are good), but without overdoing it with butter, or whole milk, or whatever the ingredient is?4 -
Make him an extra side of his favorite. I would recommend something on the higher carb side. He is going to need about half his calories from carbs preferably if he is bulking.4
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Can you make two versions of your dinner? So add extra oil or butter for better fats on his veggies or whatever, but keep yours lighter? Sometimes my boyfriend and I do this. He'll butter a bun (or I'll skip the bun altogether), or he'll add a bit of extra butter on his veggies.
Maybe just talk to him about how you can work in more calories (that are good), but without overdoing it with butter, or whole milk, or whatever the ingredient is?
I’ll definitely talk to him and see what he thinks, this would definitely be something that could help!1 -
Make him an extra side of his favorite. I would recommend something on the higher carb side. He is going to need about half his calories from carbs preferably if he is bulking.
He has definitely upped his carb intake at lunch! It’s hard at dinner depending on what I cook, but I could add it to just his!0 -
My husband and I have vastly different calorie goals. It's not a problem, though, because we only share one meal. We eat the same thing for dinner, and he gets all his extra calories from breakfast, lunch and snacks. Unless you are sharing all of your meals together, it shouldn't be that big of a deal. Since he doesn't like big portions anyway, he can just eat what you have for dinner and add extra meals throughout the day.4
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snacks5
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The problem with that is, he doesn’t have a “big” stomach. He can eat much bigger portions, because he gets full and if he over eats then he feels sick.musicfan68 wrote: »Easy, bigger portions for him, smaller for you.
If it was just a question of straight calories, he could add calorically dense foods such as salad dressing, nuts, or avocado on his salad, cheese, or butter. But he still probably needs more protein to gain muscle than a smaller woman needs while eating at a deficit.
Are there different proteins which he might find easier to double up on without feeling stuffed? Can he get in a couple servings as a snack without involving you, such as a shake?2 -
Mass gainers (can) provide a lot of calories in addition to protein.... Snacks are good for increasing calories too.
I would assume your common meals already include protein and veggies etc and that he can consume the quantities of these nutritious items that he needs.
He doesn't need a huge surplus if he is trying for a lean bulk.1 -
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Don’t do anything ... make meals as you would normally do and let him fill in the gaps
I ate more calories in snacks yesterday than I did in my 3 main meals, 40g of cheese - 160kcal, heavy cream in coffee, nuts, coated nuts, nut granola... it adds up in minutes8 -
The problem with that is, he doesn’t have a “big” stomach. He can eat much bigger portions, because he gets full and if he over eats then he feels sick.musicfan68 wrote: »Easy, bigger portions for him, smaller for you.
Can he not eat snacks between meals then? That can add a lot of calories. This really is not that hard.8 -
If he can't he large meals he'll need to eat more often or more calorie dense foods.
I'm sure you don't eat every meal together right? Probably dinner, which can easily be exactly the same food with a bigger portion of protein for him, and maybe breakfast.
Two separate breakfast isn't a hassle really. Say you both wanted omelette you could have yours with whites, spinach and mushroom. His could have the extra yolks, heavy cream, butter and bacon. (an extreme example)
Out side of that he could have a heavy lunch plus calorie dense snacks.
PS Maybe tell him to figure some of this out himself. It's his bulk
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We have the same problem. I'm trying to gain and my fiance is trying to lose. I normally have bigger portions when we eat the same meal. When im in work i eat a lot of calorie dense foods, like nuts, peanut butter, eggs, whole milk etc. I also eat pasta for carbs and drink fruit juices. We buy full fat milk and semi and stick to our own bottle, ill drink the same amount but mines full fat for more calories, same with things like yoghurt.3
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My husband has much more cheese than I do and he will have rice or pasta where I will have vegetables. He will have roast potato and I will have roasted zucchini, cauliflower, brussel sprouts. He will have larger serving sizes. Basically, the fat (except cheese) and protein component of a meal will be the same with both meals but the carbs may be different and this is not a huge amount of extra effort on my behalf. He is also responsible for his own breakfast and lunch.1
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musicfan68 wrote: »The problem with that is, he doesn’t have a “big” stomach. He can eat much bigger portions, because he gets full and if he over eats then he feels sick.musicfan68 wrote: »Easy, bigger portions for him, smaller for you.
Can he not eat snacks between meals then? That can add a lot of calories. This really is not that hard.
He has a really weird schedule and works 12-14 hours overnight, goes to the gym, comes home eats lunch, then bed, then wakes up for dinner and goes back to work. He packs food for work, I guess we will have to pack calorie dense food.0 -
Stockholm_Andy wrote: »If he can't he large meals he'll need to eat more often or more calorie dense foods.
I'm sure you don't eat every meal together right? Probably dinner, which can easily be exactly the same food with a bigger portion of protein for him, and maybe breakfast.
Two separate breakfast isn't a hassle really. Say you both wanted omelette you could have yours with whites, spinach and mushroom. His could have the extra yolks, heavy cream, butter and bacon. (an extreme example)
Out side of that he could have a heavy lunch plus calorie dense snacks.
PS Maybe tell him to figure some of this out himself. It's his bulk
Well we are a team, and he has been doing work himself, but it doesn’t hurt for me to help him out a little..1 -
I second the snacking idea. My husband and I both have a lot of variety in our daily activities, so there are days when each of us might need extra calories. He likes to eat veggies with dressing or cured meat; I like to eat cheese, nuts, or chocolate. Once dinner is done, the hungrier one of us goes back to the kitchen and grabs something calorie-dense. It doesn’t take long to eat basically a whole second meal’s-worth, if you put your mind to it!1
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Like others have suggested calorie dense snacks are a good suggestion. My husband and I eat about the same meals/portion sizes, especially for dinner, but he adds in a lot of snacks during the day. There's a protein smoothie he makes that is a 1000 calories that's a really easy way for him to add in more calories.
You don't have to be responsible for ALL of his food, give him our suggestions and he can figure out how to add extra cals himself.2 -
I eat about 2,300 calories but I’m losing fat. I eat two main meals and the rest is about 800 calories coming from protein drinks. I feel full but not to the point where I’m sick. Maybe more liquid fuel rather than solid foods would benefit him. I cook dinner for 4 people. When I prepare it I make it easy so that I don’t have to weigh it. For example, I make 2 cups of green vegetables per adult and 1 cup per child (7 and 9 years old). I know that one boneless chicken thigh is approximately 5 ounces depending on size so I’ll make 2-3 per adult and one per child. I eat more than my husband does. Dinner portion sizes stay the same for both of us. I’ll supplement my macros with protein drinks because there is no way I can eat that much in solid food.0
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In my house I tend to skip the carb side so I'll make that more calorific (potatoes delphineuois)
Butter can be added after I've had my portion of veggies, herb or chilli butters seem to go down well
Snacks can be higher cal, nuts and nut butters are popular
Coffee is easy to make with extra cals using cream and syrups if he prefers it sweet0 -
They are the same meals!!! Make the exact same meals for fat loss and muscle gain!! Want to lose fat? Make some chicken, rice, broccoli and drizzle with a touch of olive oil. Want to gain muscle? Male some chicken, rice, broccoli and drizzle with a touch of olive oil. And then have a second helping in two hours.0
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It’s hard for him to eat a lot of extra portions. He works nights and doesn’t have access to a microwave to reheat, and if he eats to much at once he feels sick (over eating). He doesn’t have a “big” stomach.
He is trying so hard to gain, and it’s just not happening.
Then more fat for him. Fat is high in calories and low in volume. Peanut butter, oil, butter, cheese, etc.3 -
So basically, my husband has been going to the gym, eating more calories, mass gainer etc, and he wants to gain weight (healthy weight). Meanwhile I am trying to lose weight. This makes it difficult sometime for me when I want to cook dinner and the recipes I use is mainly low calorie, low carb etc. I know it doesn’t bother him, but I also want him to reach his goals as well as I want to reach mine.
Does any one have any tips, advice or thoughts on how I can make this work for both of our goals?
Thanks in advance!
Regardless of whether my wife and I are dieting or not, we have different calorie needs. The only meals we eat together are dinners and lunches on the weekends. For dinner I have larger portions...and I usually have a starch or grain with my dinner and my wife doesn't. Beyond that, I eat larger lunches and breakfasts and eating higher calorie foods and I can snack more.4
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