Weight Loss for Kids
Replies
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Tell the daycare lady you'd happy to pay a lower fee to not include the meal lol
Seriously though she needs to stop feeding him a meal and just give him a small snack. And stick to her guns, she's the adult not him.
I think that about solves the issue. As time goes on, judging by how things go, you can also slightly reduce portion sizes of other meals and snacks if he's not making any progress. I would set limits on how much soda/juice he can have. and no I don't think it's realistic to try to get him to lose 10 lbs in 2 months.4 -
IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »My son is 8 years old and at his last annual checkup, the doctor told me that he's obese (95th percentile for weight) and needs to lose weight. At the time, I didn't really take it too seriously. He's always been a skinny kid (50th percentile for weight) and my husband and I just figured that he'll grow into his weight.
After much prodding, we find out he's eating a full meal after school (at daycare) and of course dinner at home. He's been told not to eat so much at daycare. The lady at the daycare feels bad that our fee technically includes a meal, so she feels obligated to feed him.
We want to set a good example for him and his 5 year old sister. We eat healthy, which for us, means a well-balanced meal that has plenty of veggies. I pack his lunch for him, but once a week he eats pizza at the school cafeteria. I know that he'll sometimes trade the fruits that I pack for him. The school does a pretty good job of teaching the kids about good nutrition.
He's active. He does judo three days a week and likes to play outside with the neighborhood kids. We limit screen time (tv, ipad, video games) but he's a bookworm and sometimes he'd rather read than play outside during recess.
He competes in judo and has won several medals, despite having to compete with taller/older kids. His coach/teacher wants to compete in the winter nationals in December and pointed out the weight divisions and hinted at my son needing to lose weight. He's been competing in the heavy weight division. He needs to lose 2 pounds to compete in the middle weight division but his BMI would still be overweight. If he lost 10 pounds, that would put him in the healthy weight category but is 10 pounds in 2 months too much?
Everything I've read so far says to get kids more active and to eat more nutritiously. I found a brief reference to how much calories an 8-year old boy should be eating. The consensus on MFP is CI<CO and that diet is more important for weight loss than exercise, but that's for adults.
Any advice on how my son should lose the weight and how quickly he should lose that weight?
Thanks in advance and sorry for the long post.
Temporarily eliminate all fruit juice and soda. Limit drinks to 2% milk, water, (and tea if you're British).
No candy, sweets or sugary items after 6pm. Tell him it will make it easier for him to go to sleep at night (it will).
Playground 1hour per day of unstructured play.
Reintroduce juice when he's slimmed down a bit.
It's the easiest way to go and so very effective for kids.
Since the dinner you cook is essentially his 4th meal, just make it lighter than usual. Your usual meat and veggies, but maybe a side of baked potato instead of mac n cheese, that sort of thing.
The key with kids is to keep it simple.
Don't even mention his weight. Just don't have juice and sweets in the house, and enjoy the time at the playground with him. If it's too cold/rainy, look for an open gym situation near you. The key is to keep the extra exercise unstructured, so it's play, not a chore.
As someone who was a weight-sensitive kid, and saw friends of mine get put on diet pills and diets/enforced gym by their parents in childhood/teenage years, I second this.
Healthy behaviours that the whole family can do together, and looking at the 2lb loss for judo as the goal.
More sustainable habits > any micromanaging or saying “you can’t have” while having people eat that in front of him shows him that something is wrong with him. It creates upsetness, and kids don’t understand except that they are Wrong in some way.
“Oh we just don’t eat that anymore because we learned it’s not healthy, it’s sugary and sugar is an occasional treat - I’m learning too” “make sure to eat veggies first” simple & general are less likely to be as upsetting. If habits are changed it may be upsetting. You could also just try to reduce portion sizes at dinner by a small amount so that it isn’t terribly noticeable.5 -
IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »My son is 8 years old and at his last annual checkup, the doctor told me that he's obese (95th percentile for weight) and needs to lose weight. At the time, I didn't really take it too seriously. He's always been a skinny kid (50th percentile for weight) and my husband and I just figured that he'll grow into his weight.
After much prodding, we find out he's eating a full meal after school (at daycare) and of course dinner at home. He's been told not to eat so much at daycare. The lady at the daycare feels bad that our fee technically includes a meal, so she feels obligated to feed him.
We want to set a good example for him and his 5 year old sister. We eat healthy, which for us, means a well-balanced meal that has plenty of veggies. I pack his lunch for him, but once a week he eats pizza at the school cafeteria. I know that he'll sometimes trade the fruits that I pack for him. The school does a pretty good job of teaching the kids about good nutrition.
He's active. He does judo three days a week and likes to play outside with the neighborhood kids. We limit screen time (tv, ipad, video games) but he's a bookworm and sometimes he'd rather read than play outside during recess.
He competes in judo and has won several medals, despite having to compete with taller/older kids. His coach/teacher wants to compete in the winter nationals in December and pointed out the weight divisions and hinted at my son needing to lose weight. He's been competing in the heavy weight division. He needs to lose 2 pounds to compete in the middle weight division but his BMI would still be overweight. If he lost 10 pounds, that would put him in the healthy weight category but is 10 pounds in 2 months too much?
Everything I've read so far says to get kids more active and to eat more nutritiously. I found a brief reference to how much calories an 8-year old boy should be eating. The consensus on MFP is CI<CO and that diet is more important for weight loss than exercise, but that's for adults.
Any advice on how my son should lose the weight and how quickly he should lose that weight?
Thanks in advance and sorry for the long post.
Temporarily eliminate all fruit juice and soda. Limit drinks to 2% milk, water, (and tea if you're British).
No candy, sweets or sugary items after 6pm. Tell him it will make it easier for him to go to sleep at night (it will).
Playground 1hour per day of unstructured play.
Reintroduce juice when he's slimmed down a bit.
It's the easiest way to go and so very effective for kids.
Since the dinner you cook is essentially his 4th meal, just make it lighter than usual. Your usual meat and veggies, but maybe a side of baked potato instead of mac n cheese, that sort of thing.
The key with kids is to keep it simple.
Don't even mention his weight. Just don't have juice and sweets in the house, and enjoy the time at the playground with him. If it's too cold/rainy, look for an open gym situation near you. The key is to keep the extra exercise unstructured, so it's play, not a chore.
As someone who was a weight-sensitive kid, and saw friends of mine get put on diet pills and diets/enforced gym by their parents in childhood/teenage years, I second this.
Healthy behaviours that the whole family can do together, and looking at the 2lb loss for judo as the goal.
More sustainable habits > any micromanaging or saying “you can’t have” while having people eat that in front of him shows him that something is wrong with him. It creates upsetness, and kids don’t understand except that they are Wrong in some way.
“Oh we just don’t eat that anymore because we learned it’s not healthy, it’s sugary and sugar is an occasional treat - I’m learning too” “make sure to eat veggies first” simple & general are less likely to be as upsetting. If habits are changed it may be upsetting. You could also just try to reduce portion sizes at dinner by a small amount so that it isn’t terribly noticeable.
Exactly. If the daycare stops giving him his meal, he is going to be singled out and he will be hungry and resentful. That's just setting him up for obesity in the future, because of negative emotions getting tied to food deprivation. If you eliminate his 4th meal, you're taking away the family meal time, again, while everyone else eats. See above.
Similarly, if you increase his structured exercise, that's stress. He needs to perform XYZ exercise to someone elses satisfaction, and possibly compete with other children. He already gets enough structured exercise. Playground time for kids is like Zumba for women. You're getting your calorie burn in without conciously putting in effort - you're just having fun.
Fruit juices have so much sugar and calories in them, and kids can drink copious amounts of juice, glass after glass after glass, adding up to many hundreds of calories a day. Milk is a food - they will be satiated by it, and not drink too much of it. 2% milk is so close to whole milk in taste, he won't have the yuck factor of switching to skim.
Being a kid is supposed to be fun. Adding stressors in addition to his academic and athletic load is unnecessary, especially when you can accomplish the same weight loss without the kid even noticing the difference.
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Thanks everyone for the replies. It's been very helpful.octoberberry90 wrote: »I'd be very cautious about how you bring all of this up with him. The wrong impression (that the emphasis is on "don't be fat" as opposed to "be healthy") could form some very bad habits in the future.
This is my biggest concern. I don't want him (or my daughter) to have a warped view of "being fat" or to be chasing some number on a scale.IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »
Don't even mention his weight.
As someone who was a weight-sensitive kid, and saw friends of mine get put on diet pills and diets/enforced gym by their parents in childhood/teenage years, I second this.
That's another big concern. Dinner time is family time. I don't wan't to exclude him from that.The boy is getting an extra dinner every day it sounds like, even with a growing active kid that is more likely the culprit. That is a tricky situation because if all the other kids are eating dinner and he isn't allowed........ vs. he comes home and the family eats dinner together and he isn't allowed.
Last night, I cut down his dinner portion. Tonight I might cut it down some more but with an extra helping of vegetable.
He doesn't drink soda. All we have at home is diet Coke which he doesn't drink. He drinks mostly 2% milk and occasionally fruit juice. I make him breakfast every morning and I pack his lunch so I know there isn't too much sugar consumed there. He loves turkey bacon so fatty foods isn't a major concern.
He has a big belly with a big of a jiggle.Consider the body composition of your child because if he is starting to thicken up without getting rolls and a lot of jiggle,
Thanks for responding. I did a search for "judo" before and your name popped up a couple of times. I've taken up judo as well. I figured I might as well join in on all the fun instead of just sitting in sidelines waiting for my son at the dojo.Judo is an excellent sport for burning calories (and is combined cardio and strength training) so keep at it. As a judo coach I can agree that if he's good, getting into a weight category that is more fitting for his size may be very beneficial for his competitive nature (heck, when I was competing lots, I performed much better at a lower weight category; people didn't tower over me so much). Seriously, it doesn't sound like activity is your problem. You've identified your problem and it's that extra meal that he's eating.
Once again, thanks everyone.7 -
TavistockToad wrote: »Maybe look at how much hidden sugar he and the rest of the family are consuming and also looking at what kind of meal he is getting at daycare?
Maybe look to reduce foods high in saturated fats, simple carbs and sugar overall and that will help?
so you think he's eating too much 'hidden sugar' and its not that he is eating two meals in the evening? :huh:
When you hear hoof beats, definitely think of unicorns first, not horses...6 -
njitaliana wrote: »I would take your son to see a dietitian. They are much better than doctors when it comes to nutrition and how to lose weight. A dietitian will advise you about how to handle it all.
Yes. Because this wouldn't make your child full-on aware that his eating is a 'problem'.4 -
Do you have any idea what this "full meal" at child care consists of? I wouldn't want him singled out because he doesn't get to eat with everyone else, but he shouldn't be having two full dinners.
It is easier to change the behavior you can control than what happens when you aren't there. I would not do anything structured where he knows that you are trying to help him lose weight. I would increase his portions of fruit and veggies and decrease other things so that his plate looks full. Reduce his calories slightly over each of the meals you do control so that it doesn't seem drastic, and make sure the day care is serving a reasonable sized snack instead of a meal.
As far as additional activity, I wouldn't single him out for this either. As a family walk the dog, go on a bike ride to the park, rollerblade, etc. Fitbits type trackers are really popular at my kid's school and have been since your son's age. My kids challenge each other for steps and run around the house to beat each other. Not sure if that is something he has ever expressed interest in but my kids requested them because they are "cool".0 -
Also did he go from 50% to 95% percentile in one year? Did he start this day care during the time frame, or has anything else changed. Just trying to figure out if day care is the main culprit, which is my guess.2
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If the kids are eating at child care, then do not serve a second dinner, let him seat with you and grab some fruit and chat about his day. Or,to actually know what he has been eating, forbid child care from feeding him. It woudl be a problem emotionally if he was a 3 year old, but he is old enough to understand that you want him to eat with you at home and that it not healthy for anyone to eat two dinners. Would you eat two dinners per day everyday just to socialise, especially if your dr told you you are obese?0
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If the kids are eating at child care, then do not serve a second dinner, let him seat with you and grab some fruit and chat about his day. Or,to actually know what he has been eating, forbid child care from feeding him. It woudl be a problem emotionally if he was a 3 year old, but he is old enough to understand that you want him to eat with you at home and that it not healthy for anyone to eat two dinners. Would you eat two dinners per day everyday just to socialise, especially if your dr told you you are obese?
People all the world over have four meals and don't have weight problems. They call the fourth meal "tea."
Also, people in some parts of the world regularly nap every day, still no weight problems.
The standard American diet and general sedentary lifestyle is to blame and is easily solved, particularly in children, without any level of fuss, and without any awareness on the kid's part that you are lowering their caloric intake. It is much, much, much easier to have a kid lose weight than an adult.
This is a simple fix. All the talk about him skipping meals, going to pediatricians and dietitians and singling him out is just making things more complicated than neccessary, and probably would cause self-esteem issues.
I do wonder if the kid has money and is buying candy bars/chips/soda while he's out...
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As far as his diet goes, I'd consider maybe reducing snack foods/candy/etc. but other than that he's gonna eat what he wants when it's offered so consider increasing his activity level. It won't take too long for him to realize that he can either adjust his activity level or eat less to maintain his weight. No real need to calorie count, just let his weight be an ongoing indicator. I think too many of us never learned that when young anyway. Kids his age enjoy cycling, it might be something you can consider that won't impact his joints at an early age like long distance running.
I gained most of my weight after moving out from home and/or getting a car. Before that I cycled everywhere. Kept me skinny. My friends all lived across town. I've also always had an overactive appetite. When I was young and my parents would cook dinner, they'd generally make something like pork chops (just using that as an example, could be anything like steak/hamburgers/etc.), I never could understand why my mother only fixed one per person (we weren't on a budget really). I realized years later she was using portion control. Sure she'd make an extra every once in a while, but we usually split it. Given the chance though I'd eat several of them instead of vegetables when I was younger. Desert.. same thing. She made less so there wasn't so much to have extra on purpose.
Once in my freshman year of high school I was told the same thing by the doctors (needed to lose weight) at the time it was determined it was soda/tea that was causing it. I drank the crap out of sweet tea and soda. My parents switched me to diet soda, or lighter sweetened tea for a year and I lost almost all the extra weight. I gained it back my senior year though going back to sodas and sugary drinks, and driving instead of bicycling everywhere.
Food for thought.1 -
My kids prefer to eat dinner as soon as they get home from school. I would let him eat dinner with daycare if that is the time he like to eat.
I would request a metabolic panel blood work from the pediatrician. My oldest gained tons of weight and the pediatrician wanted my oldest to attend weight loss camp. Come to find out the blood work to start camp showed she had a rare blood condition that was similar to leukemia. Our first visit with the oncologist, she found a 14 lb tumor. Tread lightly with children.9 -
My son is 8 years old and at his last annual checkup, the doctor told me that he's obese (95th percentile for weight) and needs to lose weight. At the time, I didn't really take it too seriously. He's always been a skinny kid (50th percentile for weight) and my husband and I just figured that he'll grow into his weight.
After much prodding, we find out he's eating a full meal after school (at daycare) and of course dinner at home. He's been told not to eat so much at daycare. The lady at the daycare feels bad that our fee technically includes a meal, so she feels obligated to feed him.
We want to set a good example for him and his 5 year old sister. We eat healthy, which for us, means a well-balanced meal that has plenty of veggies. I pack his lunch for him, but once a week he eats pizza at the school cafeteria. I know that he'll sometimes trade the fruits that I pack for him. The school does a pretty good job of teaching the kids about good nutrition.
He's active. He does judo three days a week and likes to play outside with the neighborhood kids. We limit screen time (tv, ipad, video games) but he's a bookworm and sometimes he'd rather read than play outside during recess.
He competes in judo and has won several medals, despite having to compete with taller/older kids. His coach/teacher wants to compete in the winter nationals in December and pointed out the weight divisions and hinted at my son needing to lose weight. He's been competing in the heavy weight division. He needs to lose 2 pounds to compete in the middle weight division but his BMI would still be overweight. If he lost 10 pounds, that would put him in the healthy weight category but is 10 pounds in 2 months too much?
Everything I've read so far says to get kids more active and to eat more nutritiously. I found a brief reference to how much calories an 8-year old boy should be eating. The consensus on MFP is CI<CO and that diet is more important for weight loss than exercise, but that's for adults.
Any advice on how my son should lose the weight and how quickly he should lose that weight?
Thanks in advance and sorry for the long post.
Definitely address all of this with your pediatrician.
As a mom I wanted to share my experience hoping it’s some comfort. My son has always been tall and slender for his age (around 30% weight and 90% height) until 4th grade. He hardly gained any height that year and became borderline overweight. His pediatrician was not concerned in our case and just wanted to watch him and wait till his next annual examine.
A year later at his next exam he was nearly 4” taller and in the 35% for weight again. He is 13 now and in the 50% for weight at 5’7”.
I think in my sons case his body had a large growth spurt it was preparing for. The men on his dads side all had similar growth patterns in adolescence.1 -
hobbitses333 wrote: »Teenage boys and girls get chunky then they grow...he will hit a big growth spurt and stretch out...dont try so hard to control him, he will rebel and the problem will get worse...set him up for success as often as possible and nevermind what you dont see...its his journey, and you are providing good food for him at home and opportunity for regular exercise, your job is done.
Maybe, maybe not. Take a look at his relatives. If they're all short, chances are he's not going to get taller to outgrow the weight.0 -
How much weight has he gained? Like on the growth chart did he wildly deviate from how he has been growing?
You could ask the doctor for recommendations but it sounds like you kind of know it is probably the extra meal at daycare.
I think aiming for him to lose 10 lbs in 2 months is a bit drastic for his age. I would go for a smaller slower expectation like 4-8 lbs in that time but not stress about a firm deadline to lose it.
You could probably try reducing his calories by 200-500 a day. If you know everything he eats and drinks that is easier to figure out than if he is trading food or getting extra stuff at daycare. It might take longer to adjust since there is some unknown.
You can give him a bit lower calorie breakfast, lunch or dinner options since you prepare those or ask the daycare to give a lighter snack since he will be having dinner with the family later. They do not have to be less quantity just lower calorie foods or drinks.
Bulking out meals with low calorie vegetables if he will eat them is fine. On the other hand, find out what helps him feel full and satisfied. Maybe change up type of food to a bit more protein or add in more fats if his diet is kind of low in them.
Switching to more low or no calorie drinks may be helpful since it is easy to drink a bunch of calories without realizing it.
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How much weight has he gained? Like on the growth chart did he wildly deviate from how he has been growing?
You could ask the doctor for recommendations but it sounds like you kind of know it is probably the extra meal at daycare.
I think aiming for him to lose 10 lbs in 2 months is a bit drastic for his age. I would go for a smaller slower expectation like 4-8 lbs in that time but not stress about a firm deadline to lose it.
You could probably try reducing his calories by 200-500 a day. If you know everything he eats and drinks that is easier to figure out than if he is trading food or getting extra stuff at daycare. It might take longer to adjust since there is some unknown.
You can give him a bit lower calorie breakfast, lunch or dinner options since you prepare those or ask the daycare to give a lighter snack since he will be having dinner with the family later. They do not have to be less quantity just lower calorie foods or drinks.
Bulking out meals with low calorie vegetables if he will eat them is fine. On the other hand, find out what helps him feel full and satisfied. Maybe change up type of food to a bit more protein or add in more fats if his diet is kind of low in them.
Switching to more low or no calorie drinks may be helpful since it is easy to drink a bunch of calories without realizing it.
Excellent advice IMO.1 -
IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »If the kids are eating at child care, then do not serve a second dinner, let him seat with you and grab some fruit and chat about his day. Or,to actually know what he has been eating, forbid child care from feeding him. It woudl be a problem emotionally if he was a 3 year old, but he is old enough to understand that you want him to eat with you at home and that it not healthy for anyone to eat two dinners. Would you eat two dinners per day everyday just to socialise, especially if your dr told you you are obese?
People all the world over have four meals and don't have weight problems. They call the fourth meal "tea."
Also, people in some parts of the world regularly nap every day, still no weight problems.
The standard American diet and general sedentary lifestyle is to blame and is easily solved, particularly in children, without any level of fuss, and without any awareness on the kid's part that you are lowering their caloric intake. It is much, much, much easier to have a kid lose weight than an adult.
This is a simple fix. All the talk about him skipping meals, going to pediatricians and dietitians and singling him out is just making things more complicated than neccessary, and probably would cause self-esteem issues.
I do wonder if the kid has money and is buying candy bars/chips/soda while he's out...
I am not American, I have no idea what you are talking about with the 4 meals.
If you mean "tea" as is used in some areas of UK, it is not a meal after the evening meal, it is the evening meal. People are not having dinner and then an extra meal.
If you mean "tea", as in an actual cup of tea in the afternoon with a snack, this is a snack, not a full meal.
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We're dealing with the same issue in my house - its a tough problem because there's likely a lot of other social-emotional issues wrapped up in it and its hard to expect a young kid to understand the "why" or have the self awareness and control in the moment that a decision is made.
We've slowly faded some of the most challenging foods that are easy to overeat for my son (crackers, cereal, and sweets in general). We encourage him to eat meals that are higher in protein and fiber to promote fullness. We've also tried to encourage him to drink water or chew gum at times when he would normally eat and then reevaluate after a few minutes to see if he's still hungry. Wen we're out and getting a treat we go for the small/kids size/mini of ice cream - when is less than he'd like but we're working on the concept of a compromise that lets you have some, but not too much that it hurts your health goals.
Its a definitely a challenge - good luck.3 -
IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »If the kids are eating at child care, then do not serve a second dinner, let him seat with you and grab some fruit and chat about his day. Or,to actually know what he has been eating, forbid child care from feeding him. It woudl be a problem emotionally if he was a 3 year old, but he is old enough to understand that you want him to eat with you at home and that it not healthy for anyone to eat two dinners. Would you eat two dinners per day everyday just to socialise, especially if your dr told you you are obese?
People all the world over have four meals and don't have weight problems. They call the fourth meal "tea."
Also, people in some parts of the world regularly nap every day, still no weight problems.
The standard American diet and general sedentary lifestyle is to blame and is easily solved, particularly in children, without any level of fuss, and without any awareness on the kid's part that you are lowering their caloric intake. It is much, much, much easier to have a kid lose weight than an adult.
This is a simple fix. All the talk about him skipping meals, going to pediatricians and dietitians and singling him out is just making things more complicated than neccessary, and probably would cause self-esteem issues.
I do wonder if the kid has money and is buying candy bars/chips/soda while he's out...
I am not American, I have no idea what you are talking about with the 4 meals.
If you mean "tea" as is used in some areas of UK, it is not a meal after the evening meal, it is the evening meal. People are not having dinner and then an extra meal.
If you mean "tea", as in an actual cup of tea in the afternoon with a snack, this is a snack, not a full meal.
These are the meals in a day in Spain. The fifth meal - they are about that life.
Desayuno
Almuerzo
Comida
Merienda
Cena
http://spanishsabores.com/2015/06/17/spain-dining-guide-when-are-spanish-mealtimes/1 -
Breakfast, mid-morning snack, lunch, mid-afternoon snack and dinner? That's... been more or less the default setting for those of us who went from school days (Breakfast, morning recess, lunch, afternoon recess, supper) to conventional offices (breakfast, coffee break, lunch, coffee break, supper). Not seeing the novelty.5
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IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »If the kids are eating at child care, then do not serve a second dinner, let him seat with you and grab some fruit and chat about his day. Or,to actually know what he has been eating, forbid child care from feeding him. It woudl be a problem emotionally if he was a 3 year old, but he is old enough to understand that you want him to eat with you at home and that it not healthy for anyone to eat two dinners. Would you eat two dinners per day everyday just to socialise, especially if your dr told you you are obese?
People all the world over have four meals and don't have weight problems. They call the fourth meal "tea."
Also, people in some parts of the world regularly nap every day, still no weight problems.
The standard American diet and general sedentary lifestyle is to blame and is easily solved, particularly in children, without any level of fuss, and without any awareness on the kid's part that you are lowering their caloric intake. It is much, much, much easier to have a kid lose weight than an adult.
This is a simple fix. All the talk about him skipping meals, going to pediatricians and dietitians and singling him out is just making things more complicated than neccessary, and probably would cause self-esteem issues.
I do wonder if the kid has money and is buying candy bars/chips/soda while he's out...
I am not American, I have no idea what you are talking about with the 4 meals.
If you mean "tea" as is used in some areas of UK, it is not a meal after the evening meal, it is the evening meal. People are not having dinner and then an extra meal.
If you mean "tea", as in an actual cup of tea in the afternoon with a snack, this is a snack, not a full meal.
These are the meals in a day in Spain. The fifth meal - they are about that life.
Desayuno
Almuerzo
Comida
Merienda
Cena
http://spanishsabores.com/2015/06/17/spain-dining-guide-when-are-spanish-mealtimes/
But they're probably balancing the calories throughout the meals to adjust for the fact they're eating more often (at least, the people within a healthy weight range are). They aren't just adding an extra meal *in addition* to a full day's calorie needs, which is what appears to be happening with OP's son.
Nobody is arguing that eating more frequently, in and of itself, is a problem. Adding a whole extra meal without adjustments (intentional or unintentional) the rest of the day will cause anyone to gain weight unless there is a corresponding rise in overall activity.3 -
I am not a fan of calorie counting for kids. It’s to easy for kids to end up with self esteem issues and disordered eating. I would focus more on nutrition for the whole family and discuss healthy serving sizes for nutrition for everyone in the family. That way he won’t feel singled out.
https://www.choosemyplate.gov
The site above offers some nutrition guidelines you may find helpful. I likely would also stay away from the scale for a while so that he doesn’t feel stressed about it. Small changes over time do make a difference.4 -
janejellyroll wrote: »IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »If the kids are eating at child care, then do not serve a second dinner, let him seat with you and grab some fruit and chat about his day. Or,to actually know what he has been eating, forbid child care from feeding him. It woudl be a problem emotionally if he was a 3 year old, but he is old enough to understand that you want him to eat with you at home and that it not healthy for anyone to eat two dinners. Would you eat two dinners per day everyday just to socialise, especially if your dr told you you are obese?
People all the world over have four meals and don't have weight problems. They call the fourth meal "tea."
Also, people in some parts of the world regularly nap every day, still no weight problems.
The standard American diet and general sedentary lifestyle is to blame and is easily solved, particularly in children, without any level of fuss, and without any awareness on the kid's part that you are lowering their caloric intake. It is much, much, much easier to have a kid lose weight than an adult.
This is a simple fix. All the talk about him skipping meals, going to pediatricians and dietitians and singling him out is just making things more complicated than neccessary, and probably would cause self-esteem issues.
I do wonder if the kid has money and is buying candy bars/chips/soda while he's out...
I am not American, I have no idea what you are talking about with the 4 meals.
If you mean "tea" as is used in some areas of UK, it is not a meal after the evening meal, it is the evening meal. People are not having dinner and then an extra meal.
If you mean "tea", as in an actual cup of tea in the afternoon with a snack, this is a snack, not a full meal.
These are the meals in a day in Spain. The fifth meal - they are about that life.
Desayuno
Almuerzo
Comida
Merienda
Cena
http://spanishsabores.com/2015/06/17/spain-dining-guide-when-are-spanish-mealtimes/
But they're probably balancing the calories throughout the meals to adjust for the fact they're eating more often (at least, the people within a healthy weight range are). They aren't just adding an extra meal *in addition* to a full day's calorie needs, which is what appears to be happening with OP's son.
Nobody is arguing that eating more frequently, in and of itself, is a problem. Adding a whole extra meal without adjustments (intentional or unintentional) the rest of the day will cause anyone to gain weight unless there is a corresponding rise in overall activity.
That's pretty much what I said. I have no argument with you.
It's not the fact that he's having a 4th meal. It's CICO. So I gave some suggestions on how to easily decrease calories and increase activity.
0 -
IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »If the kids are eating at child care, then do not serve a second dinner, let him seat with you and grab some fruit and chat about his day. Or,to actually know what he has been eating, forbid child care from feeding him. It woudl be a problem emotionally if he was a 3 year old, but he is old enough to understand that you want him to eat with you at home and that it not healthy for anyone to eat two dinners. Would you eat two dinners per day everyday just to socialise, especially if your dr told you you are obese?
People all the world over have four meals and don't have weight problems. They call the fourth meal "tea."
Also, people in some parts of the world regularly nap every day, still no weight problems.
The standard American diet and general sedentary lifestyle is to blame and is easily solved, particularly in children, without any level of fuss, and without any awareness on the kid's part that you are lowering their caloric intake. It is much, much, much easier to have a kid lose weight than an adult.
This is a simple fix. All the talk about him skipping meals, going to pediatricians and dietitians and singling him out is just making things more complicated than neccessary, and probably would cause self-esteem issues.
I do wonder if the kid has money and is buying candy bars/chips/soda while he's out...
I am not American, I have no idea what you are talking about with the 4 meals.
If you mean "tea" as is used in some areas of UK, it is not a meal after the evening meal, it is the evening meal. People are not having dinner and then an extra meal.
If you mean "tea", as in an actual cup of tea in the afternoon with a snack, this is a snack, not a full meal.
These are the meals in a day in Spain. The fifth meal - they are about that life.
Desayuno
Almuerzo
Comida
Merienda
Cena
http://spanishsabores.com/2015/06/17/spain-dining-guide-when-are-spanish-mealtimes/
But they're probably balancing the calories throughout the meals to adjust for the fact they're eating more often (at least, the people within a healthy weight range are). They aren't just adding an extra meal *in addition* to a full day's calorie needs, which is what appears to be happening with OP's son.
Nobody is arguing that eating more frequently, in and of itself, is a problem. Adding a whole extra meal without adjustments (intentional or unintentional) the rest of the day will cause anyone to gain weight unless there is a corresponding rise in overall activity.
That's pretty much what I said. I have no argument with you.
It's not the fact that he's having a 4th meal. It's CICO. So I gave some suggestions on how to easily decrease calories and increase activity.
OP is not saying he is having a 4th meal, as in a snack. She is saying he is having a full dinner (which I assume is also the main meal, calorie-wise) at daycare, and then again having a full dinner at home a bit later. If she was saying he is having some fruit at daycare, or a yoghurt at home, I doubt this conversation would have started.0 -
If you're worried about making him feel fat by paying attention to his weight, simply couch it as a sports thing. Any athlete who competes in a sport with weight classes enjoys a considerable advantage when they are able to comfortably reach the next lowest weight class. There are coaches whose sole purpose is to help an athlete achieve this without impinging on their performance. So, rather than saying to your son that he is too heavy or anything else with a negative connotation, say to him that it is advantageous for a judoka to be able to compete at the lowest weight he can comfortably manage.
If he continues with judo, especially if he has any aspirations for high level competition, this will become one of the things he will need to focus on as much as he focuses on falling technique, throwing technique, building endurance and strength, and all the other things he does as an integral part of the sport that have nothing to do with being fat or not.5 -
I know I already replied but here I am replying again. My 2 year old is ravenous as soon as he comes home from daycare. It takes me a while to get dinner ready assuming we aren't eating leftovers, so either we have to give him a ton of snacks (adding up to basically a meals worth of food), or just go ahead and feed him dinner. If we have something ready to go for dinner (leftovers, or a sandwich or something) we'll go ahead and feed him dinner and he can eat by himself. (of course I am not trying to monitor his weight at all, I'm just commenting on how we feed him in the evenings)
I guess I'm not one to place a bunch of value in eating together as a family because we spend the entire evening together anyway. Even if we aren't eating together, we're still together all hanging out in the dining room/living area (they are open to each other in my house). So if he's really that hungry at daycare, an option would be to just let him eat and then maybe just give him a small snack or a tiny portion of your dinner at home.0 -
emmamcgarity wrote: »I am not a fan of calorie counting for kids. It’s to easy for kids to end up with self esteem issues and disordered eating. I would focus more on nutrition for the whole family and discuss healthy serving sizes for nutrition for everyone in the family. That way he won’t feel singled out.
https://www.choosemyplate.gov
The site above offers some nutrition guidelines you may find helpful. I likely would also stay away from the scale for a while so that he doesn’t feel stressed about it. Small changes over time do make a difference.
You got three woos so far, but that's solid advice you gave.
"When boys develop eating disorders, it's usually because they're in a sport that emphasizes weight, such as wrestling. Wrestlers compete based on weight classes. For instance there's one class for 75-pound boys and another for 80-pound boys. Wrestlers feel pressure to stay in their weight class, which is called "making weight."
https://kidshealth.org/en/kids/eatdisorder.html6 -
Maybe your daycare could provide lunch instead of a late meal? And you could stop sending lunch?0
-
IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »janejellyroll wrote: »IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »IHaveMyActTogether wrote: »If the kids are eating at child care, then do not serve a second dinner, let him seat with you and grab some fruit and chat about his day. Or,to actually know what he has been eating, forbid child care from feeding him. It woudl be a problem emotionally if he was a 3 year old, but he is old enough to understand that you want him to eat with you at home and that it not healthy for anyone to eat two dinners. Would you eat two dinners per day everyday just to socialise, especially if your dr told you you are obese?
People all the world over have four meals and don't have weight problems. They call the fourth meal "tea."
Also, people in some parts of the world regularly nap every day, still no weight problems.
The standard American diet and general sedentary lifestyle is to blame and is easily solved, particularly in children, without any level of fuss, and without any awareness on the kid's part that you are lowering their caloric intake. It is much, much, much easier to have a kid lose weight than an adult.
This is a simple fix. All the talk about him skipping meals, going to pediatricians and dietitians and singling him out is just making things more complicated than neccessary, and probably would cause self-esteem issues.
I do wonder if the kid has money and is buying candy bars/chips/soda while he's out...
I am not American, I have no idea what you are talking about with the 4 meals.
If you mean "tea" as is used in some areas of UK, it is not a meal after the evening meal, it is the evening meal. People are not having dinner and then an extra meal.
If you mean "tea", as in an actual cup of tea in the afternoon with a snack, this is a snack, not a full meal.
These are the meals in a day in Spain. The fifth meal - they are about that life.
Desayuno
Almuerzo
Comida
Merienda
Cena
http://spanishsabores.com/2015/06/17/spain-dining-guide-when-are-spanish-mealtimes/
But they're probably balancing the calories throughout the meals to adjust for the fact they're eating more often (at least, the people within a healthy weight range are). They aren't just adding an extra meal *in addition* to a full day's calorie needs, which is what appears to be happening with OP's son.
Nobody is arguing that eating more frequently, in and of itself, is a problem. Adding a whole extra meal without adjustments (intentional or unintentional) the rest of the day will cause anyone to gain weight unless there is a corresponding rise in overall activity.
That's pretty much what I said. I have no argument with you.
It's not the fact that he's having a 4th meal. It's CICO. So I gave some suggestions on how to easily decrease calories and increase activity.
OP is not saying he is having a 4th meal, as in a snack. She is saying he is having a full dinner (which I assume is also the main meal, calorie-wise) at daycare, and then again having a full dinner at home a bit later. If she was saying he is having some fruit at daycare, or a yoghurt at home, I doubt this conversation would have started.
So what if he's having a 4th meal, is what I'm saying. You can eat a standard breakfast that is 800 calories, or an also similar, delicious, large sized breakfast for 250 calories. It's not the fact that he's having a full 4th meal, because plenty of people the world over eat lots more meals than we do. The issue is that American meals are calorie dense, where a normally sized meal is pushing 1200 calories, in addition to having a sedentary lifestyle. I had recess AND gym DAILY growing up as a kid. So two hours of running around - one structured, one unstructured every single day - during school hours. Is that what is happening now? Doubt it.
Ultimately, it's that woman's kid, and she will do what she feels is in his best interest that works best for her son and her family.
4
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