Taking My Stand and Reclaiming My Life

Overcomer18
Overcomer18 Posts: 5 Member
in Introduce Yourself
I have been down this road more times than I can count. I have started my weight loss journey at 200 pounds, 210 pounds, 220 pounds, 230 pounds, 240 pounds and now at 247 pounds. I'll be 36 soon and I've wasted too many years of my life accumulating weight when I should have been accumulating memories. I've been on a steady gain since 2002. At my smallest, I was 170 pounds when I graduated high school. Now I weigh more than I did when I was 9 months pregnant with my son. I'm 3 pounds away from 250 pounds, and I'm only 5'3"!!!! What the heck?!?!?!

I'll tell you - I have a problem with food. I eat it and I don't care. I use every excuse under the sun to eat. Having a good day? Great, let's celebrate with food. Having a bad day? Here's some chocolate to make it all better? Angry at the husband? Let's just eat to get back at him (because we all know that does absolutely nothing, but I do it anyhow.) Bored? Eat. Tired? Eat. Food, food, food. Every excuse for it except for one: to give me nourishment and sustain my health.

Well, that changes. Now. I'm so sick and tired of being sick and tired. I'm done spending my days laying on the couch feeling sick because I've eaten too much again. I'm done explaining to my son that mommy can't play because she's tired. The truth is mommy's tired because mommy won't get off her butt and get moving. I admit it. It's about time. Maybe if I had admitted it all these years ago I wouldn't be in the place I'm at now.

But that's okay because I've learned a lot of lessons. I know what works. I know what doesn't. I know what I can keep in the house and what I can't. I'm done with the excuses, I'm done with the laziness, I'm done with being the chubby girl who blends into the background while the rest of the world takes off like a shot. I am taking my stand and I am reclaiming my life. It starts now.

Here are my goals for the first month. I will add to them as I progress forward. I need to get my mental game straight and then I can conquer the rest of it one piece at a time.

I will not deprive myself; I will control myself.

I will not punish myself; I will love myself.

I will not dwell on the mistakes of the past; I will look toward the victory of the future.

I will not be defeated by slip ups; I will learn and move on.

I will not be a victim of my circumstances any more; I am an overcomer.

I will not give up; I will stay in the fight until the final round - I will win!

I've got 107 pounds to go - but I will conquer each one. It may be an ounce at a time, but I will do it! Just watch me.

Replies

  • tryingtoloveme97
    tryingtoloveme97 Posts: 60 Member
    Hey, I’m in a similar boat. I was 205 when I graduated and that killed me. I felt like a whale trying to fit in with dolphins. And I was so embarrassed to stand up there like that... I’ve been gaining almost steady for 2 years, and now I’m at 248.4 lbs.... 1.6 lbs away from 250.... someplace I never wanted to be yet here I am.... I hope you can find me as a friend and a weight loss partner. I’ve got 105 ish lbs to lose. I believe in you.
  • dani_sc
    dani_sc Posts: 13 Member
    I truly appreciate your honesty. It takes a lot of courage to write publicly on a platform that you don't blame anything or anybody but yourself. It takes strength to admit your weaknesses. To me, no matter how bad it is now and how low you got, you should somehow celebrate this achievement.

    I like your attitude, as I have approached this weight loss journey from the same perspective. This time, I wanted to switch from a negative to a positive inner voice. I won't say: I want to diet because I hate my body. I'll say instead: I want to feel and look better. I won't say: I hate being the only lazy and bigger. I'll say instead: I want to be fit to enjoy activities with people I love.

    Keep going and best of luck!
  • achickwwit
    achickwwit Posts: 31 Member
    So inspired by you and your resolve. It really is day by day. I celebrate (not with food!) the pound dropped here or there. My goals are different from yours, but the mental strength that goes into any kind of healthy lifestyle remains the same.

    A couple tricks I use when I have a craving:

    Never grocery-shop on an empty stomach. Like, ever.

    Don’t stock what you shouldn’t eat.

    Juice every couple of weeks for a day. Or juice until dinner 2–3X one week.

    If you have a craving that won’t quit, brush your teeth. Flouride is the ultimate buzzkill for me.

    Adding you as a friend now!
  • funjen1972
    funjen1972 Posts: 949 Member
    What a great intro! I find your resolve admirable! I'm sending a friend request.
  • Overcomer18
    Overcomer18 Posts: 5 Member
    tryingtoloveme97 wrote: »
    Hey, I’m in a similar boat. I was 205 when I graduated and that killed me. I felt like a whale trying to fit in with dolphins. And I was so embarrassed to stand up there like that... I’ve been gaining almost steady for 2 years, and now I’m at 248.4 lbs.... 1.6 lbs away from 250.... someplace I never wanted to be yet here I am.... I hope you can find me as a friend and a weight loss partner. I’ve got 105 ish lbs to lose. I believe in you.

    I believe in you too! We've got this!
  • Overcomer18
    Overcomer18 Posts: 5 Member
    achickwwit wrote: »
    So inspired by you and your resolve. It really is day by day. I celebrate (not with food!) the pound dropped here or there. My goals are different from yours, but the mental strength that goes into any kind of healthy lifestyle remains the same.

    A couple tricks I use when I have a craving:

    Never grocery-shop on an empty stomach. Like, ever.

    Don’t stock what you shouldn’t eat.

    Juice every couple of weeks for a day. Or juice until dinner 2–3X one week.

    If you have a craving that won’t quit, brush your teeth. Flouride is the ultimate buzzkill for me.

    Adding you as a friend now!

    Thank you for the great advice!
  • AllyInDoubt
    AllyInDoubt Posts: 4 Member
    Wow we have quite a lot in common. I am also pretty short at 4'9 and stepped on the scale to see 248 and had a mini panic attack.
    I was raised with food being a reward so I totally get using every celebration or frustration as a moment to enjoy a snack. This by far has been the hardest habit to break.
  • Overcomer18
    Overcomer18 Posts: 5 Member
    AllyInDoubt wrote: »
    Wow we have quite a lot in common. I am also pretty short at 4'9 and stepped on the scale to see 248 and had a mini panic attack.
    I was raised with food being a reward so I totally get using every celebration or frustration as a moment to enjoy a snack. This by far has been the hardest habit to break.

    It's good to know we are not alone! Just an hour ago I was feeling overwhelmed and wanted to grab a candy bar. I ate a small trick or treat snack instead. It's so hard but it'll be worth it!

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