GETTING UP IN THE MORNINGS IS BY FAR THE HARDEST THING TO DO EVERYDAY.

Getting up in the mornings is by far the hardest thing to do everyday. As ive mentioned before im 36 years old 5'2 and currently weigh 223.3 size 18. Ive been off and on with diets the past 8 years but this year i have sticked to it off and on and im down about 14 pounds since Jan. i think to myself all the time -mann if only i wud be so dedicated to this diet id b skinny already. Everything fits about the same is whats so irritating. mayb just a tiny bit loose but im still a size 18.. have been since like 13 years. Imagine this 13 years of wishing i was thin and never doing anything about it. Everyone says little by little ull notice the difference but i think to myself .. I CANT IMAGINE LIVING THIS WAY FOREVER AS FAR AS NOT EATING WHAT I WANT. What a mindset right! im so mad right now. ive been super dedicated for about 16 days This means no pasta, bread, tortiyas,sweets, nor sodas. been walking everyday 1 mile fast pace.. from 23 minutes im down to 18 min a mile. i know thats super slow to some of u but im just so happy i started jogging for the first time since high school, BUT WHAT AM I DOING WRONG. I cant get my mindset to think long term and that is so irritating. Everyday i wake up, stand up and look at myself in the mirror and say to myself... YUP U LOOK ABOUT THE SAME.. BIG BLOB! AND THER GOES MY DAY ALL BITTER ABOUT EVERYTHING. HOW CAN I STOP THIS. IVE GOTTEN A BUNCH OF REPLIES ON ANOTHER DISCUSSION I MADE AND BELEIVE ME IT HELPED A TON... BUT IF ONLY THER WAS LITTERALLY SOMEONE PUSH ME OFF BED AND WAKE ME UP HAHA .. I DONT HAVE THAT DEDICATION AND ITS NOT LAZINESS ITS JUST MAYB COMMITMENT. RIGHT NOW I THINK IM TOO FAR IN TO GIVE UP. I ALSO KNOW THAT IF I STOP I WILL NEVER DIET EVR AGAIN.. BECAUSE THIS TIME AROUND ITS BEEN SO SO SO HARD TO LOSE EVEN 1 POUND... AND I KNOW IF I STOP MY WORSE FEAR WILL COME TRUE.. GET SO BIG THAT I WONT B ABLE TO MOVE. DOES ANYONE OUT THER HaVE A MAGIC WAND TO MAKE ME THINK AND VIEW THINGS DIFFERENTLY.

Replies

  • hesn92
    hesn92 Posts: 5,967 Member
    Have you looked through the success story section of the forum? Those photos are really inspiring. None of them lost weight overnight. It takes time and dedication.
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,879 Member
    There is no finish line...maintenance is not much different than losing weight. To maintain weight you can't eat whatever you want whenever you want in whatever quantity. Maybe focus on the process and embrace the process because you'll need the tools that come with the process in maintenance.

    Also, you don't have to completely deprive yourself of everything you like...learning moderation is important and will also come in handy in maintenance.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    You didn't gain all the weight in 16 days, you won't lose it in that time either.
  • icecreamtime
    icecreamtime Posts: 11 Member
    kimny72 wrote: »
    So I guess any positivity you got from your first thread has worn off already???

    I mean this kindly, you need to calm down and stop making every dieting moment a life or death situation. This is going to be a long process and you need to look at it as such. It is going to take you more than a year most likely to lose the weight, and a lifetime of maintenance.

    You don't need to cut out any foods, you don't need to get up early and do a workout you hate. You need to make small incremental changes over time that will turn into a way of eating and an activity level that you can happily and easily do for the rest of your life.

    Get a food scale, eat foods you like, log accurately and consistently, get more active in any way you enjoy.

    You will NOT be motivated every day. You will NOT lose weight every week. You will NOT see changes in the mirror consistently. You need to look long term. Check out all the Most Helpful Posts threads pinned to the top of each board, but especially these:

    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants/p1

    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10636388/free-customized-personal-weight-loss-eating-plan-not-spam-or-mlm/p1

    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10084670/it-is-unlikely-that-you-will-lose-weight-consistently-i-e-weight-loss-is-not-linear/p1

    Unfortunately, no one can change what's in your head but you. You need more realistic expectations and patience. You need to stop thinking you have to eat food you don't like and do exercise you have to force. Take some time to read the links and replies you've gotten and really let it sink in.

    "you need to calm down and stop making every dieting moment a life or death situation. This is going to be a long process and you need to look at it as such. It is going to take you more than a year most likely to lose the weight, and a lifetime of maintenance."

    "You will NOT be motivated every day. You will NOT lose weight every week. You will NOT see changes in the mirror consistently. You need to look long term."

    THIS WILL HELP TREMENDOUSLY!! THANK U KIMNY72...
    THE POSITIVE REPLIES I GOT IN THE OTHER THREAD WASNT WORN OFF AT ALL I LOVE THAT I HAVE FINALLY FOUND SOMETHING THAT I THINK WILL HELP ME THROUGH THIS CHANGE. THE LIFE AND DEATH PART NAILED IT!! HAHA SO TRUE.

  • Adc7225
    Adc7225 Posts: 1,319 Member
    I know where you are coming from and it can be not only frustrating but scary as well. One trick I used was at times where the frustration was taking over I would focus on something else. For example you mentioned walking - try challenging yourself for a few days or a week. Maybe adding 5 or 10 minutes to your walk a few days a week. I would get off the bus a few stops before home or work, you will be surprised how fast you won't be out of breath walking those few extra minutes. The diet thing will come around, as you change overall your mindset will as well. Try not to overthink the things you can't control right now.

    The walking was just one of the many tricks I used to keep myself motivated, I did many exercise challenges with myself and even some eating challenges - pick a color and have it at every meal :wink:

    I happen to love my mornings, I always figured I can get up to go to work cause I have to for many reason so I can add an hour for MYSELF.
  • judyamk
    judyamk Posts: 79 Member
    I have anything I want to eat,but it is done being MINDFUL. Get measuring cups & measuring spoons Measure everything you eat look at the serving size on labels only eat that amount for the particular food in take. I eat meat & a potato & 3 vegetables as they are very filling. Plus drink water water water !! Continue your exercise,but push it up a notch do that for a week or 2 then every week or 2 push it up, You can do this I know you can !! Without measuring it is so easy to put more on your plate . Another thing is hand write what you eat actually writing it down helps as well it takes time to do that . When I go out to a restaurant I already know what I will have I go on & google the place pick out what I am going to have in advance,because it is so much easier just to go in & order anything when one is hungry this works for me . If I go to a shower if that is what they are having or even to a family reunion or a get together & do not know what they are having I will first go & walk the entire buffet & see what they have & make wise choices . What I do when things are so tempting I only take 1 tablespoon of various foods you would be surprised what that can amount to . I do not take meat balls that leaves the bread alone if the ham is very lean I have a half slice & I will eat chicken watch the dip that is high in fat . You can do this I just know you can . I use to believe that there is nothing that taste better than being skinny, WRONG there is nothing that taste better than feeling healthy . I use to weigh 96 pounds I was so skinny I was sickly looking I now weigh around 172 I need to get back to 136 my Doctor wants me to lose around 36 pounds because I have high cholesterol . So I am starting over & using the tools I have learned > keep me posted on how you are doing Have a lovely week & yes you can !!! ( Judy )
  • kimny72
    kimny72 Posts: 16,023 Member
    kimny72 wrote: »
    So I guess any positivity you got from your first thread has worn off already???

    I mean this kindly, you need to calm down and stop making every dieting moment a life or death situation. This is going to be a long process and you need to look at it as such. It is going to take you more than a year most likely to lose the weight, and a lifetime of maintenance.

    You don't need to cut out any foods, you don't need to get up early and do a workout you hate. You need to make small incremental changes over time that will turn into a way of eating and an activity level that you can happily and easily do for the rest of your life.

    Get a food scale, eat foods you like, log accurately and consistently, get more active in any way you enjoy.

    You will NOT be motivated every day. You will NOT lose weight every week. You will NOT see changes in the mirror consistently. You need to look long term. Check out all the Most Helpful Posts threads pinned to the top of each board, but especially these:

    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants/p1

    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10636388/free-customized-personal-weight-loss-eating-plan-not-spam-or-mlm/p1

    https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10084670/it-is-unlikely-that-you-will-lose-weight-consistently-i-e-weight-loss-is-not-linear/p1

    Unfortunately, no one can change what's in your head but you. You need more realistic expectations and patience. You need to stop thinking you have to eat food you don't like and do exercise you have to force. Take some time to read the links and replies you've gotten and really let it sink in.

    "you need to calm down and stop making every dieting moment a life or death situation. This is going to be a long process and you need to look at it as such. It is going to take you more than a year most likely to lose the weight, and a lifetime of maintenance."

    "You will NOT be motivated every day. You will NOT lose weight every week. You will NOT see changes in the mirror consistently. You need to look long term."

    THIS WILL HELP TREMENDOUSLY!! THANK U KIMNY72...
    THE POSITIVE REPLIES I GOT IN THE OTHER THREAD WASNT WORN OFF AT ALL I LOVE THAT I HAVE FINALLY FOUND SOMETHING THAT I THINK WILL HELP ME THROUGH THIS CHANGE. THE LIFE AND DEATH PART NAILED IT!! HAHA SO TRUE.

    :smiley: You can do it, you just have to get your head on straight.
  • icecreamtime
    icecreamtime Posts: 11 Member
    YES!
  • icecreamtime
    icecreamtime Posts: 11 Member
    judyamk wrote: »
    I have anything I want to eat,but it is done being MINDFUL. Get measuring cups & measuring spoons Measure everything you eat look at the serving size on labels only eat that amount for the particular food in take. I eat meat & a potato & 3 vegetables as they are very filling. Plus drink water water water !! Continue your exercise,but push it up a notch do that for a week or 2 then every week or 2 push it up, You can do this I know you can !! Without measuring it is so easy to put more on your plate . Another thing is hand write what you eat actually writing it down helps as well it takes time to do that . When I go out to a restaurant I already know what I will have I go on & google the place pick out what I am going to have in advance,because it is so much easier just to go in & order anything when one is hungry this works for me . If I go to a shower if that is what they are having or even to a family reunion or a get together & do not know what they are having I will first go & walk the entire buffet & see what they have & make wise choices . What I do when things are so tempting I only take 1 tablespoon of various foods you would be surprised what that can amount to . I do not take meat balls that leaves the bread alone if the ham is very lean I have a half slice & I will eat chicken watch the dip that is high in fat . You can do this I just know you can . I use to believe that there is nothing that taste better than being skinny, WRONG there is nothing that taste better than feeling healthy . I use to weigh 96 pounds I was so skinny I was sickly looking I now weigh around 172 I need to get back to 136 my Doctor wants me to lose around 36 pounds because I have high cholesterol . So I am starting over & using the tools I have learned > keep me posted on how you are doing Have a lovely week & yes you can !!! ( Judy )

    THANK YOU SO MUCH JUDYAMK!
  • Chelle8070
    Chelle8070 Posts: 163 Member
    Aww honey. I haven't read any comments as of yet...

    Don't think that you can never have the foods you love again! I eat (wheat) spaghetti probably once a week... just a normal portion, not a giant plate or two full (and I pack spinach between the pasta and the sauce so I get extra veggies and it helps wilt it and it's amazing), I still enjoy a hoagie from time to time. You can make this work for you!

    I also LOVE freaking food. All of it. I love donuts and cookies and poptarts and sugary cereals and ice cream and everything else. Just all of it. I struggle even with moderation, sometimes I say screw it and indulge and
    absolutely "fail".... but that doesn't mean I have to fail for forever.

    I was 223lbs in the fall of 2015. I got down to 215 and then more or less "chose" to stay there. Then this past May, I decided instead of hating my reflection every day, I could get serious. *I* was making the choice to continue hating myself. (Please note I'm not saying that anyone should hate themselves due to their weight.) I am/was the only one who could change my attitude about myself. My boyfriend and kids didn't hate me because of my weight. My friends didn't hate my giant belly. Only me. I used the excuse a lot that I couldn't wake up in the morning, therefore it was a "legitimate excuse" to not workout at all... but that wasn't helping me.

    For me, what worked, was hiring a personal trainer that I had to make appointments for. I knew if I got a gym membership, I could avoid it the same way I avoid working out in the morning. I knew I could tell myself I'll workout for an hour every day after work, but I could definitely find excuses to justify NOT doing it in my head... afterall, we're talking about roughly 3 years after I hit my 223lbs and didn't want to be there anymore. I have to make an appointment with my guy(s) - now if I want to blow it off, I need a reason AND lose money if it's not a legitimate one. I needed the real accountability.... not my friends cheering me on, but someone waiting for me to show up. Someone ELSE to not let down.... I'm good at handling letting down myself, but I refuse to let down those around me.

    It's been a journey. Just yesterday I was complaining on another thread that I felt like I was stuck and should be losing more faster - which they proved me wrong, I was being too hard on myself and gave me some tips and tricks for logging foods after seeing that some of my postings may have not been as accurate as I thought.

    This morning I weighed in at 181.6. I can see and FEEL muscles, all over! (though I can't see any stomach muscles yet... but I can FEEL them under there dying to come out!

    I wish I had a magic want. I wish I had the answers for all of us all over. All I can say is keep going. Don't think about long term if it stresses you out. Think about today. And then tomorrow think about that day. Be aware of your movements and your foods and just worry about doing your best, today. <3

    This is ridiculously long, I apologize. LOL Also - CONGRATS on knocking 5 minutes off of your mile! Who cares how it compares to those around you (that's another thing I learned, work to beat MY personal bests, not those around me). That's a 21.7% improvement! That's huge!!!!
  • icecreamtime
    icecreamtime Posts: 11 Member
    Chelle8070 wrote: »
    Aww honey. I haven't read any comments as of yet...

    Don't think that you can never have the foods you love again! I eat (wheat) spaghetti probably once a week... just a normal portion, not a giant plate or two full (and I pack spinach between the pasta and the sauce so I get extra veggies and it helps wilt it and it's amazing), I still enjoy a hoagie from time to time. You can make this work for you!

    I also LOVE freaking food. All of it. I love donuts and cookies and poptarts and sugary cereals and ice cream and everything else. Just all of it. I struggle even with moderation, sometimes I say screw it and indulge and
    absolutely "fail".... but that doesn't mean I have to fail for forever.

    I was 223lbs in the fall of 2015. I got down to 215 and then more or less "chose" to stay there. Then this past May, I decided instead of hating my reflection every day, I could get serious. *I* was making the choice to continue hating myself. (Please note I'm not saying that anyone should hate themselves due to their weight.) I am/was the only one who could change my attitude about myself. My boyfriend and kids didn't hate me because of my weight. My friends didn't hate my giant belly. Only me. I used the excuse a lot that I couldn't wake up in the morning, therefore it was a "legitimate excuse" to not workout at all... but that wasn't helping me.

    For me, what worked, was hiring a personal trainer that I had to make appointments for. I knew if I got a gym membership, I could avoid it the same way I avoid working out in the morning. I knew I could tell myself I'll workout for an hour every day after work, but I could definitely find excuses to justify NOT doing it in my head... afterall, we're talking about roughly 3 years after I hit my 223lbs and didn't want to be there anymore. I have to make an appointment with my guy(s) - now if I want to blow it off, I need a reason AND lose money if it's not a legitimate one. I needed the real accountability.... not my friends cheering me on, but someone waiting for me to show up. Someone ELSE to not let down.... I'm good at handling letting down myself, but I refuse to let down those around me.

    It's been a journey. Just yesterday I was complaining on another thread that I felt like I was stuck and should be losing more faster - which they proved me wrong, I was being too hard on myself and gave me some tips and tricks for logging foods after seeing that some of my postings may have not been as accurate as I thought.

    This morning I weighed in at 181.6. I can see and FEEL muscles, all over! (though I can't see any stomach muscles yet... but I can FEEL them under there dying to come out!

    I wish I had a magic want. I wish I had the answers for all of us all over. All I can say is keep going. Don't think about long term if it stresses you out. Think about today. And then tomorrow think about that day. Be aware of your movements and your foods and just worry about doing your best, today. <3

    This is ridiculously long, I apologize. LOL Also - CONGRATS on knocking 5 minutes off of your mile! Who cares how it compares to those around you (that's another thing I learned, work to beat MY personal bests, not those around me). That's a 21.7% improvement! That's huge!!!!

    CHELLE8070 THIS WILL DEFF. GET ME THROUGH THIS DAY. THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR URE WORDS AND THOUGHTS AND EXPERIENCE. 181.6 WOAHHH THATS AMAZING!! I CANT WAIT TO B UNDER 200 WHICH IS A LANDMARK FOR ME. HAHA SOON ULL HAVE THOSE STOMACH MUSCLE(KILLER ABS) JUST WAIT AND SEE.💚💚💚
  • Chelle8070
    Chelle8070 Posts: 163 Member
    Come to ONEderland!!! <3 You got this!
  • deannalfisher
    deannalfisher Posts: 5,600 Member
    you may consider talking to someone about your thoughts/feelings - it may help in the long-run
  • knowleka
    knowleka Posts: 16 Member
    Personally i resonate with you with regards to how you feel but i agree with other comments that removing the items mentioned makes it harder. I eat what i want but follow portion sizes on packets, try alternatives such as bulgar wheat, cauli rice as replacements in normal favourite dishes etc. I also found preparation in advance is also key for me so i know what i have to eat all day. I prep my entire next days food when i get in so i know if i fancy anything extra during day i know exactly how many cals I can have. Good luck
  • shrinkingletters
    shrinkingletters Posts: 1,008 Member
    I hope this isn't crossing a boundary, but have you considered therapy or counseling? Talking to someone about how you feel-at least during these tough few stages of significant weight loss-might help you work out some issues with regards to emotional eating, and might help you fortify your mental resolve for when things get tough.