What do you do if you’re spouse likes junk food?
Replies
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My wife would be absolutely miserable if I banned sweets from our house, I would never consider trying to restrict her in that way. I have come to accept (and enjoy even) that we WILL have some kind of sweet treat for dessert every night, so I plan accordingly. I workout hard and I save my calories, also I realized that cutting out my evening glass of wine afforded me another cookie so that was helpful. We both really enjoy our nightly routine of eating our treats snuggled on the couch together before bed, its worth skipping an afternoon snack or cutting down my portion at dinner. Sustainable lifestyle changes should be enjoyable and well balanced IMO.12
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My wife brings home donuts and things like that. When she does, I throw them out. Then she complains that my throwing them out is a waste of money, and my counter is that buying them is the waste, and she is endangering the health of everyone in the family by buying it. She now buys it, gives it to the kids directly and then complains about their weight...go figure...
What in the world... I'd be pissed if I bought food and my husband threw it away. Talk about controlling.17 -
We have a cabinet high above the refrigerator (well out of my wife's reach and sight) where I stash my peanut butter, chocolate candies, and whatever other foods she has trouble controlling her impulses with. She knows there's "goodies" up there, but the fact that she would have to go out to the garage and get a stepladder to get to them is enough of a deterrent from impulsively eating them like she would if they were readily accessible in the pantry. Plus, she doesn't know exactly what is up there (sometimes it's just protein bars, which she despises), so it makes it even less worth all the trouble to only discover nothing she'd really want anyway.
Fortunately she's not at all a fan of the low-cal ice cream I eat on a pretty much nightly basis (Enlightened and/or Chilly Cow), so that's safe in the freezer - she won't touch it even at her bingiest of bingy times.
Another vote for OP's husband hiding his foods that trigger her.
Really, that's not to much to ask.4 -
1st understand that food is not 'good' or 'bad'. If you choose to have ice cream, or a donut, or whatever, account for it in your daily calories. Not a big deal.
If its hard for you to have a lesser amount of his junk food, get things that DO fit. Try Halo Top ice cream. Depending on the flavor, its 240-360 cals for the pint.I’ve been trying to lose weight. I don’t buy junk food when I shop for groceries. My husband, on the other hand, when his cravings kick in, he will go and get some ice cream or donuts. Some of the leftovers just laying around and it’s very tempting. I told him to hide them, but his reason was that’s why he works out so that he can eat donuts. Ugghhh... sometimes I gave in and eat a bowl of ice cream, then I feel guilty later. :-(
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missysippy930 wrote: »All foods in moderation. Maybe a couple bites. Work it into my calories. Log it. Move on. It’s unreasonable to expect others to give up foods because I can’t control myself. Just my opinion.
Not everybody is a moderator, nor should they have to be.
https://gretchenrubin.com/2012/10/back-by-popular-demand-are-you-an-abstainer-or-a-moderator/
...When dealing with temptation, I often see the advice, “Be moderate. Don’t have ice cream every night, but if you try to deny yourself altogether, you’ll fall off the wagon. Allow yourself to have the occasional treat, it will help you stick to your plan.”
I’ve come to believe that this is good advice for some people: the “moderators.” They do better when they avoid absolutes and strict rules.
For a long time, I kept trying this strategy of moderation–and failing. Then I read a line from Samuel Johnson, who said, when someone offered him wine: “Abstinence is as easy to me as temperance would be difficult.”
Ah ha! Like Dr. Johnson, I’m an “abstainer.”
I find it far easier to give something up altogether than to indulge moderately. When I admitted to myself that I was eating my favorite frozen yogurt treat very often—two and even three times a day—I gave it up cold turkey. That was far easier for me to do than to eat it twice a week. If I try to be moderate, I exhaust myself debating, “Today, tomorrow?” “Does this time ‘count’?” "Don't I deserve this?" etc. If I never do something, it requires no self-control for me; if I do something sometimes, it requires enormous self-control.
There’s no right way or wrong way—it’s just a matter of knowing which strategy works better for you. If moderators try to abstain, they feel trapped and rebellious. If abstainers try to be moderate, they spend a lot of precious energy justifying why they should go ahead and indulge.17 -
Your husband is a grown man and allowed to eat what he likes. It's not fair to expect him to change because you want to change. Learning self-control is a key part of maintaining a healthy weight, but so is learning how to incorporate foods you enjoy.9
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I think this is part of life and you have to learn how to deal with it. Junk food is not going to be hidden all the time forever to make life easier for you. you just need to learn how to moderate. Either fit it in to your calorie allowance or don't eat it.5
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I learned how to deal with it. My fiance has a thing with Taco Bell, Slim Jims, and candy. After awhile it got to the point that seeing it doesn't bother me anymore. It took about a month for it not to phase me.1
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My wife brings home donuts and things like that. When she does, I throw them out. Then she complains that my throwing them out is a waste of money, and my counter is that buying them is the waste, and she is endangering the health of everyone in the family by buying it. She now buys it, gives it to the kids directly and then complains about their weight...go figure...
What in the world... I'd be pissed if I bought food and my husband threw it away. Talk about controlling.
Exactly. I'm the first to say "don't let me eat this" and "can we please throw this away" but no way in hell you'll get away with making the decision for me.9 -
I’ve been trying to lose weight. I don’t buy junk food when I shop for groceries. My husband, on the other hand, when his cravings kick in, he will go and get some ice cream or donuts. Some of the leftovers just laying around and it’s very tempting. I told him to hide them, but his reason was that’s why he works out so that he can eat donuts. Ugghhh... sometimes I gave in and eat a bowl of ice cream, then I feel guilty later. :-(
So I think there's a couple of things here. First, I don't think it's too much to ask your husband to not leave temptations laying around for you to stumble across. But having said that, if what you mean is he shouldn't have that food in the house, I think that's unfair and frankly only a short term solution. You live in a world full of temptation, you need to figure out how to live with it.
So I'd say first sit him down and ask for his help. If there is one particular treat you simply can't moderate, maybe ask him if you can keep that one thing out of the house for a month or two while you are getting the hang of your diet. And to otherwise keep treats put away.
Then you need to rethink how you look at food. There is no reason to feel guilty about having ice cream. I had ice cream 3 or 4 times a week while I was losing weight. You don't have to cut out any foods, just get a foundation of good food and portion treats responsibly so everything fits in your calorie goal.My wife brings home donuts and things like that. When she does, I throw them out. Then she complains that my throwing them out is a waste of money, and my counter is that buying them is the waste, and she is endangering the health of everyone in the family by buying it. She now buys it, gives it to the kids directly and then complains about their weight...go figure...
I really hope this was supposed to be tongue in cheek or something. That sounds like such a toxic environment, so much anger and guilt around food
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For some of us 1 piece or 1 serving of "junk" snowballs into weeks of being off track, hell sometimes even years.
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WinoGelato wrote: »My wife brings home donuts and things like that. When she does, I throw them out. Then she complains that my throwing them out is a waste of money, and my counter is that buying them is the waste, and she is endangering the health of everyone in the family by buying it. She now buys it, gives it to the kids directly and then complains about their weight...go figure...
Anyone who throws away food that I purchased, and intend to eat in moderation as part of an overall balanced diet, is endangering their own health because that will not end well for them....
I can't even imagine what I would do if my husband began throwing away the food I bought, but there would certainly be a strong response from me.8 -
I ask my hubby to take it to his man cave,computer room. Probably a bit controlling but a girls got to do what a girls got to do. I don't mind some of this stuff at dinner time but not late at night.2
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In a couple of weeks, my hubby is going to be bringing home 3-4 grocery bags full of clearance Halloween candy (he does it every year). We live in a small house, and nobody's "hiding" anything in it. However, having things out of sight and not staring you in the face every time you go to the kitchen is helpful. He usually stashes everything in the basement, and if I want it, I at least have to make the effort of making a trip downstairs, and it gives me time to reconsider. Aside from that, my hubby is very active and eats nutritious, low-calorie foods throughout the day so he can come home and indulge in seemingly endless amounts of pizza & ice cream after work. He's slim & healthy, so don't sweat it if you want a bowl of ice cream and a donut and you have the room for it in your day.
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In a couple of weeks, my hubby is going to be bringing home 3-4 grocery bags full of clearance Halloween candy (he does it every year). We live in a small house, and nobody's "hiding" anything in it. However, having things out of sight and not staring you in the face every time you go to the kitchen is helpful. He usually stashes everything in the basement, and if I want it, I at least have to make the effort of making a trip downstairs, and it gives me time to reconsider. Aside from that, my hubby is very active and eats nutritious, low-calorie foods throughout the day so he can come home and indulge in seemingly endless amounts of pizza & ice cream after work. He's slim & healthy, so don't sweat it if you want a bowl of ice cream and a donut and you have the room for it in your day.
Ya, our Halloween type candy is stashed in the basement too, and this works very well for me.2 -
I think moderating or abstaining takes some work and strategic thinking not just sheer willpower.
Some specific things I have done:
Once my dh brought home a particular type of chip. I ate most of the chips and told him he should only have that kind outside of the house from now on as it was really hard for me to moderate eating those. He has not brought them home since. Our house is not chip free just not that particular type at home.
I buy smaller amounts and dh has gotten on board with that. Dh will now bring home a couple of doughnuts instead of a dozen.
I put food out of sight in cabinets or on a shelf. It is much easier than if it is on the counter.
If we have something I will be tempted by I might put them in the freezer so I do not overeat. I do this with muffins and unfrosted cupcakes and just take out a few at a time.
When I grocery shop I get foods I like and then I am less tempted by someone else's stuff. I have a stash of dark chocolate.
I got a doughnut pan to make baked doughnuts. If I make things myself I can make a lower calorie version if I want.
For things like Halloween or Christmas candy we each have a bag with our name on it with our evenly divided candy in it. When it is gone it is gone. We do not eat someone else's stuff.
Prelogging food is helpful for me to see if I can afford to eat some of these things and decide if they are worth it. I generally have 100-300 calories for snacks. I'm pretty unwilling to use up a lot of my meal calories on cake that is going to just leave me hungry later.
On special occasions I will probably have a maintenance calorie day to enjoy a larger meal or dessert.3 -
Shanel0916 wrote: »For some of us 1 piece or 1 serving of "junk" snowballs into weeks of being off track, hell sometimes even years.
But would you force others around you to give up foods because YOU can't moderate your intake?15 -
He gets to have it. you don't have to eat it. mostly, my husband kept all the foods he liked whether they were junk food or not.
at the same time, i ate a donut for breakfast and i'll probably have ice cream for dinner. i'm not much for depriving myself. i feel like it sets me up for a binge5 -
I'm so glad I live alone. 12
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Shanel0916 wrote: »For some of us 1 piece or 1 serving of "junk" snowballs into weeks of being off track, hell sometimes even years.
But for the most part, it's not the food, it's the emotions and judgements around the food. It's about someone feeling guilty and weak for caving, convincing themselves they're a failure and hopeless, and then eating their feelings.
It was incredibly freeing for me to stop viewing eating a treat as something shameful. Allowing myself to have a treat every day without guilt, and occasionally a day where I ate more than I typically should, helped me to move past the dysfunctional emotions I had around food.
And regardless, taking something that is that destructive to you, and making it the responsibility and burden of the people around you as well, without dealing with the issue in the first place, is probably going to make things worse, not easier.11 -
We have a "munchy cupboard" in our kitchen where any and all the snacks - sweet and savoury - are kept. If I'm out of calories for the day, I know to just not open that cupboard door. It's simple, really.
Because any time I *do* something inevitably leaps out at me and jumps right down my throat. Truth!
Not opening that door keeps me safe from forces beyond my strength to resist.
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Shanel0916 wrote: »For some of us 1 piece or 1 serving of "junk" snowballs into weeks of being off track, hell sometimes even years.
No one is forcing it down OPs throat15 -
kshama2001 wrote: »missysippy930 wrote: »All foods in moderation. Maybe a couple bites. Work it into my calories. Log it. Move on. It’s unreasonable to expect others to give up foods because I can’t control myself. Just my opinion.
Not everybody is a moderator, nor should they have to be.
https://gretchenrubin.com/2012/10/back-by-popular-demand-are-you-an-abstainer-or-a-moderator/
...When dealing with temptation, I often see the advice, “Be moderate. Don’t have ice cream every night, but if you try to deny yourself altogether, you’ll fall off the wagon. Allow yourself to have the occasional treat, it will help you stick to your plan.”
I’ve come to believe that this is good advice for some people: the “moderators.” They do better when they avoid absolutes and strict rules.
For a long time, I kept trying this strategy of moderation–and failing. Then I read a line from Samuel Johnson, who said, when someone offered him wine: “Abstinence is as easy to me as temperance would be difficult.”
Ah ha! Like Dr. Johnson, I’m an “abstainer.”
I find it far easier to give something up altogether than to indulge moderately. When I admitted to myself that I was eating my favorite frozen yogurt treat very often—two and even three times a day—I gave it up cold turkey. That was far easier for me to do than to eat it twice a week. If I try to be moderate, I exhaust myself debating, “Today, tomorrow?” “Does this time ‘count’?” "Don't I deserve this?" etc. If I never do something, it requires no self-control for me; if I do something sometimes, it requires enormous self-control.
There’s no right way or wrong way—it’s just a matter of knowing which strategy works better for you. If moderators try to abstain, they feel trapped and rebellious. If abstainers try to be moderate, they spend a lot of precious energy justifying why they should go ahead and indulge.
I really agree with this. I have trigger foods that I can't moderate - particularly ice cream and potato chips, but other things as well. I don't buy them for myself (and I've convinced my husband to stop buying them for me because he feels bad if I had a difficult day). I don't plan to give these things up for life, I just restrict eating them for when I'm out and there is only a single serving available to me.
If my husband brings treats into the house, I consider them his treats, not mine. Right now we have some really good gluten free bakery cookies that we bought a few days ago sitting on the counter. I ate half of them (within my calories), but the other half is his. I would have binged on the remainder as soon as he was out the door the next morning if I didn't have a firm rule that his food is off-limits. I have very few rules around food, but that one's non-negotiable.7 -
ruqayyahsmum wrote: »Shanel0916 wrote: »For some of us 1 piece or 1 serving of "junk" snowballs into weeks of being off track, hell sometimes even years.
But would you force others around you to give up foods because YOU can't moderate your intake?
No, hence the years part, lol.3 -
Shanel0916 wrote: »For some of us 1 piece or 1 serving of "junk" snowballs into weeks of being off track, hell sometimes even years.
But for the most part, it's not the food, it's the emotions and judgements around the food. It's about someone feeling guilty and weak for caving, convincing themselves they're a failure and hopeless, and then eating their feelings.
It was incredibly freeing for me to stop viewing eating a treat as something shameful. Allowing myself to have a treat every day without guilt, and occasionally a day where I ate more than I typically should, helped me to move past the dysfunctional emotions I had around food.
And regardless, taking something that is that destructive to you, and making it the responsibility and burden of the people around you as well, without dealing with the issue in the first place, is probably going to make things worse, not easier.
Not sure what your post has to do with mine, but all I'm saying is some of us can't have a simple treat. One slice of cake can lead to cake all day for me. Not to say that everyone in the house needs to be punished because one person can't control their cravings though.5 -
My husband has a man cave where he keeps his cookies, donuts, soda etc. Occassionaly I would have a couple of cookies or some candy but the scale wasn't moving and it wasn't helping AT ALL. Dietician suggested Chocolate Cheerios when I want something sweet and chocolatey with milk and it works for me. That's my usual snack.5
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I’ve been trying to lose weight. I don’t buy junk food when I shop for groceries. My husband, on the other hand, when his cravings kick in, he will go and get some ice cream or donuts. Some of the leftovers just laying around and it’s very tempting. I told him to hide them, but his reason was that’s why he works out so that he can eat donuts. Ugghhh... sometimes I gave in and eat a bowl of ice cream, then I feel guilty later. :-(
Get a scale, and weigh an appropriate serving. Don't feel guilty. Food is food. And restricting balls to the walls is a recipe for crashing and burning.
I subscribe to the idea that it's not my families burden to bear that I needed to lose weight, and they should not have to alter their behaviors or patterns to make things easier on me. When grocery shopping, I buy only things that I know I can resist - none of them have noticed a difference - and I keep things for myself on hand that I will not binge on so I can have a treat when my family members do. I'm a big fan of popcorn - I buy the 100 calorie serving microwave bags. I get to munch for a few minutes and satisfies the need to nom. I also like ice cream cups or bars/sandwiches. Basically anything in single portions.11 -
This post reminds me again how blessed I am. My husband never does any shopping, he is a sweet eater though. He likes ice cream or a sweet of some kind every single night. I buy kinds I won't eat 90% of the time, but I would never think of denying him what he likes. My downfall is always Coke and potato chips, I don't buy them unless it's a special occasion and then I only buy enough to do for the day. I can't imagine living with all of the restrictions some people place on themselves and others for their losses.12
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Snowflake1968 wrote: »This post reminds me again how blessed I am. My husband never does any shopping, he is a sweet eater though. He likes ice cream or a sweet of some kind every single night. I buy kinds I won't eat 90% of the time, but I would never think of denying him what he likes. My downfall is always Coke and potato chips, I don't buy them unless it's a special occasion and then I only buy enough to do for the day. I can't imagine living with all of the restrictions some people place on themselves and others for their losses.
Have you tried switching to Diet Coke?9 -
For me it all comes down to focus and determination and decisions I make in advance. If I am feeling hungry and/or vulnerable for some reason (lack of sleep is a big thing for me; I will want to eat *all* the food) then the advance decision is *not*one*bite*. Yes, Kirkland Signature roasted, salted, mixed nuts, I am talking about your siren song. There are other times where the 180 calories from 1 oz of weighed product can be put into my 1340 calorie allotment quite easily. When on maintenance, I have more calories to play with and the decisions are less fraught.1
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