The boys I know are shallow

They're young. They're still "boys". Most likely half of them will grow up and be better when they're older. The others, who don't grow up will be losers. Save yourself some frustration and just realize they're like children, and that MEN are much different!

dont let some shallow a**holes crush your self esteem. personally, i'd dump chris cuase he's not worth the effort. you want someone who likes/loves you for the beautiful person you are. how would chris like it if every girl he dated whipped out a ruler on the first date? A man, a real man, sees the inner beauty not some shell that is no indication fo what a person is really like. You can do so much better.

Darlin, I had the SAME experience with my friend Jake when I was alot bigger he had sex with this chubby girl and told me how much he regretted it cuz she was sooo fat....and though he wasnt pointing at me I always wondered if we ever did anything if he would be telling the same story to one of his other friends....

sounds like maybe you need to find someone else to date. someone who would say things like that doesn't deserve you! you will encounter shallow people your entire life... but you can control the types of people you allow into your personal life. you deserve to be surrounded by people who love and support you and make you feel good about yourself! when you have people like that in your life it makes it a little easier to ignore all the others. :-)

Everyone is entitled to their personal preferences. What makes us different is the class or grace we show when around people we might otherwise choose not to be with socially.

These guys should show more class.

That is absolutely disgusting. A lot of them will probably grow out of it, if that makes you feel any better -- I'm 30 now, and most of my male friends actually prefer woman with extra meat on their bones (and a few of them, previous "ewww fat girls" types, are happily dating women 200+ lb). There's some peer pressure among young fellas to not be seen as "chubby chasers", and so a lot of fellows will cave to that and say they like (or even believe that they like) the ultra-thin celebrities we see all the time, when many of them may secretly be much more tolerant than they appear.

As well, society's perception of what weights are is totally skewed. It's like, 110 = thin, 120 = normal, 130 = a little extra weight, 150+ = fat.....say what? Meanwhile, that girl people think is 130 lb is actually 160! (Seen this happen so many times...) Does Chris know your weight? He might actually think you weigh a lot less than you do!

None of this excuses their behaviour. It's disgusting. It's disgusting that carrying extra weight is somehow a crime against society if you're female. It's like we're only here to be eye candy. Umm...excuse me??? So, I totally, totally get you being upset about this. I hope they grow up soon and you don't have to hear any kind of crap like that again.

*big e-hugs*

For the record, I'm glad I wasn't there because I probably would have gotten all confrontational about it, haha.

All guys are pigs in some way or another. Some just hide it better than most.

This should never have been said, and if they felt they had to BS around like that, it DEFINITELY should have been just "guy talk".

The reality of this situation is there probably really IS a "weight limit" these guys would date, but its not a number. Its a feeling you get from looking at someone and evaluating if you could be happy with them.

Call me shallow if you like, but I have this "limit" as well. I don't have a conscious number, but I do know that I am not attracted to super heavy women.

However, I also have a lower limit on what I would date too. Again, not a number, just an overall feeling/evaluation.

Guys are physically/visually stimulated. Its what makes us excited. Its why we like eye candy and shiny cars, bikes, and porn. Its part of our nature. Don't judge these guys TOO harshly.

Part of being a boy is not knowing when to keep your big mouth shut, rather than let everyone know what you feel.

They're still immature at this point in their lives, if you and Chris are actually serious then you need to voice your concerns and let it be known that you don't appreciate that kind of talk about girls. Specially the way it affects your self esteem. If you and him aren't that serious then you need to find a man, not a boy.

boys are stupid sometimes! sorry they made you feel bad

i agree with the above comments ^^ they are boys and totally don't even know what they are talking about and completely immature and little children. LOL.

I once had a guy say that i was "a little too thick for his taste" and an EX-boyfriend of mine said "You would be so beautiful if you just lost 20 lbs!" <<< (that was when i weighed only like 5 lbs more than i do now!!!)

jerks/boys whatever they are = not worth your time right now girl

First I want to say from your picture I see you are beautiful. Guys can be @sses. It's just a fact. And when they are young they are shallow. They really have no idea about weight and size or beauty for that matter.I know how you feel when things are said that crush your self esteem but seriously you are beautiful. You really are. Someday you will have enough confidence in yourself to walk away from immature shallow boys and you will find someone that appreciates you for who you are.

Ok that is the mom in me sorry

As you grow older you also grow wiser... (well some do!!)

I do agree that a lot of guys are shallow.

However, a lot of people don't find overweight individuals physically attractive. Is it wrong to not want to date someone you are not physically attracted to?

Using the terms 'disgusting' and 'nasty' is harsh. I personally wouldn't date someone who is overweight though because my values are not just based on physical attractiveness but health and well being. Someone who is overweight is in general not someone that pays particularly close attention to health and well-being. This isn't always the case but it is in general. For this same reason I wouldn't date someone who is crazily underweight.

I think the way these guys went about it is wrong but there are legitimate reasons to finding overweight individuals unattractive both physically and value wise.

That being said depending on a persons height some weights aren't particularly bad. But I personally wouldn't date someone who is my weight (about 170lbs) and height (170cm or 5' 8") unless they were actively trying to do something about their weight or like me they were athletically involved.

Are you.. .planking in that picture?

Chris doesn't know how much I weigh, by the way. I guess he might think I weigh less than I do, but I think I'll always feel fat no matter what. I don't try to show the fact that I have low self-esteem because I don't want people to take advantage of that, but it still hurt to hear them say that.

Oh, P.S.S, I'd like to suggest that maybe you talk to someone about your low self-esteem. From how I'm taking it, it's pretty stinkin' low (which I don't see a reason for, you're gorgeous) but for the sake of your futue relationships. Without any other reason, it causes a lot of problems. Trust me, it's worth tackling instead of dealing with the BS it comes with down the road

Bummer on that one. "Boys" being key. Without knowing too much for details on the relationship, maybe you'd be better off moving on. You're cute as hell, so you won't have too much trouble finding another guy. :-)