"Intimate Connections"......
smallerthighs
Posts: 148
Yeah..I thought that would get your attention..lol. Question...
You're in a committed relationship....then one day you get invited to join a group called "Intimate Connections".....the group discusses relationships and sex..taboo topics. Do you join? How would your significant other feel about you being invited to join this group? How would you feel if your significant other joined the group....without you?
You're in a committed relationship....then one day you get invited to join a group called "Intimate Connections".....the group discusses relationships and sex..taboo topics. Do you join? How would your significant other feel about you being invited to join this group? How would you feel if your significant other joined the group....without you?
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Replies
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No.
Pissed.
Pissed.0 -
I don't think I would feel comfortable joining & I definitely wouldn't be happy if my fiance joined.0
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Is it just discussion or something else?
And yes I'd be mad if my hubby joined a group like this with out telling me.0 -
No.
Pissed.
Pissed.
Ditto.
Double ditto.
Triple ditto.
and hurt. Majorly hurt.0 -
no, no, NO! On the other hand, if you joined together.....0
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I would not feel comfortable joining something like that(I feel iffy posting here)
If I did something like that it would be over, he'd be livid
If he did something like that I would be livid0 -
If it's only discussing those topics I don't see what the issue is. I wouldn't want to read about other people's sexual endeavors or share my own but just discussing relationships/sex/taboo things IN GENERAL seems fine to me and my husband wouldn't care and I wouldn't care if he joined either.
The name intimate connections kind of makes it seem like it's more than discussion though.0 -
Yeah.....when I saw he joined the group...I was pissed...heartbroken..and felt betrayed. But ...according to him..I'm the craxy one...I read too much into it....he was added without his knowledge...blah..blah..blah...............Oh, I'm angry....and sad that he didn't "unjoin"..he said he's gonna sit in on the chat tonight..and if it turns out to be a meat market...THEN he'll leave.... I said.."if it wasn't a meat market...why did they invite only you..and NOT your significant other as well??? Wow....I ended my relationship today. I am going thru issues..trying to be better..look better..feel better....and he goes and does THIS? F*** THAT!!! I don't need that bull****!!!0
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Yeah.....when I saw he joined the group...I was pissed...heartbroken..and felt betrayed. But ...according to him..I'm the craxy one...I read too much into it....he was added without his knowledge...blah..blah..blah...............Oh, I'm angry....and sad that he didn't "unjoin"..he said he's gonna sit in on the chat tonight..and if it turns out to be a meat market...THEN he'll leave.... I said.."if it wasn't a meat market...why did they invite only you..and NOT your significant other as well??? Wow....I ended my relationship today. I am going thru issues..trying to be better..look better..feel better....and he goes and does THIS? F*** THAT!!! I don't need that bull****!!!
dont get mad, its ok if he comes back repenting forgive him
if not
u deserve much better...n u r already on the route of betterment!0 -
wait, is this an online group or a real group?0
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wait, is this an online group or a real group?
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It's an online group.....but that's where alot of bull$hit starts...online......offline. I'm no idiot. You don't name a group "Intimate CONNECTIONS"......unless there are CONNECTIONS.0 -
wait, is this an online group or a real group?
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It's an online group.....but that's where alot of bull$hit starts...online......offline. I'm no idiot. You don't name a group "Intimate CONNECTIONS"......unless there are CONNECTIONS.
You got that right, sister! Like Judge Judy says, don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining!0 -
Yeah.....when I saw he joined the group...I was pissed...heartbroken..and felt betrayed. But ...according to him..I'm the craxy one...I read too much into it....he was added without his knowledge...blah..blah..blah...............Oh, I'm angry....and sad that he didn't "unjoin"..he said he's gonna sit in on the chat tonight..and if it turns out to be a meat market...THEN he'll leave.... I said.."if it wasn't a meat market...why did they invite only you..and NOT your significant other as well??? Wow....I ended my relationship today. I am going thru issues..trying to be better..look better..feel better....and he goes and does THIS? F*** THAT!!! I don't need that bull****!!!
Ughh I am SOOO sorry. WHo the heck would do that.0 -
if its an online group that he got invited into without his knowledge and you broke up with him over that?
im sorry but there must have been a lot more going on leading up to it other than just that.
just cos he is gonna join the chat room and have a look doesnt mean anything. infact it could probably be entertaining.
did he tell you that you couldnt sit there and watch? if that was the case then perhaps you could be a little suspicious.
other than that i think there may be other issues (such as prior "connections") that the OP isnt telling us because if someone broke up with me over that i would be thinking that they are a bit over the top0 -
Coming from a woman who has been cheated on (more than once): I would absolutely freak! That is how it starts... no one in a commited relationship needs to talk about sex with strangers on the internet... chat leads to cam, cam leads to more direct lines of communication, and that leads to face to face (and most likely genital to genital) contact... It's a slippery slope, and no one in a commited relationship should test their will power like that.0
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I feel like a complete idiot........here I am workin my hump off...trying to be "all that"......and he's chattin it up in his new group. Where is the pill that makes you forget love..feelings..memories....I need 2 of them.0
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********************************if its an online group that he got invited into without his knowledge and you broke up with him over that?
im sorry but there must have been a lot more going on leading up to it other than just that.
just cos he is gonna join the chat room and have a look doesnt mean anything. infact it could probably be entertaining.
did he tell you that you couldnt sit there and watch? if that was the case then perhaps you could be a little suspicious.
other than that i think there may be other issues (such as prior "connections") that the OP isnt telling us because if someone broke up with me over that I
would be thinking that they are a bit over the top
Until it happens to you........0 -
I feel like a complete idiot........here I am workin my hump off...trying to be "all that"......and he's chattin it up in his new group. Where is the pill that makes you forget love..feelings..memories....I need 2 of them.
I'm so very sorry. People can just suck sometimes.
Fact is if you are really in love yo should never do that, and you should NEVER ask your partner to understand it. Ever.0 -
****************************************I feel like a complete idiot........here I am workin my hump off...trying to be "all that"......and he's chattin it up in his new group. Where is the pill that makes you forget love..feelings..memories....I need 2 of them.
I'm so very sorry. People can just suck sometimes.
Fact is if you are really in love yo should never do that, and you should NEVER ask your partner to understand it. Ever.
He would've been pissed if I woulda joined the group...and even if I hadn't joined on my own..but was Added by a friend...he woulda been curious to know why I didn't say "no thanks"...and leave the group. It's a Private group...no entrace unless you are added by someone in the group...a female friend added him....but still...he didn't leave......he was soooo curious what they were gonna be talking about. With a name like "Intimate Connections"......it shoulda been a no brainer. But I guess he wasn't thinking with his brain. He woulda been highly suspicious had the roles been reversed. But you know something....I really don't need that in my life.......the fact that I had a problem with it..shoulda been enough for him to say "no thanks".....but then again...if he's that curious..to the point that watching me leave..wasn't as important as what was on that discussion board. Not the first time he's thrown me under the bus...but certainly the last.0 -
Yeah, fidelity should > curiosity. He should have told you about it and asked you how you felt. And you either look at it together, or he leaves. OR, he should have just left. Looks like you'll have the last laugh, though.
I feel a little edgy just posting in the 'compliment the person above you' threads. Honestly, my wife is the BEST, so I feel like complimenting her!0 -
******************************Yeah, fidelity should > curiosity. He should have told you about it and asked you how you felt. And you either look at it together, or he leaves. OR, he should have just left. Looks like you'll have the last laugh, though.
I feel a little edgy just posting in the 'compliment the person above you' threads. Honestly, my wife is the BEST, so I feel like complimenting her!
Haha..yeah..I usually steer clear of those...someone may take the compliment in a way in which it wasn't intended. If I do answer..and compliment...it's something completely innocent and friendly..or just downright kooky..lol0 -
IMHO you were right to make the choice you made.
I am sorry for your sadness and frustration over the issue, but honestly you deserve better than that.
You deserve someone who respects you enough to talk to you about it openly...
Good luck to you and you will find that person.... of this I am sure.
You did have the last laugh. Be strong in yourself!0 -
*******************************IMHO you were right to make the choice you made.
I am sorry for your sadness and frustration over the issue, but honestly you deserve better than that.
You deserve someone who respects you enough to talk to you abohut it openly...
Good luck to you and you will find that person.... of this I am sure.
You did have the last laugh. Be strong in yourself!
Thank you soooo much. Getting over him won't be easy....because I have loved this man intensely for 6 years........and now my feelings are changing. I'm dealing with the emotional rollercoaster right now. Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.0 -
****************************************I feel like a complete idiot........here I am workin my hump off...trying to be "all that"......and he's chattin it up in his new group. Where is the pill that makes you forget love..feelings..memories....I need 2 of them.
I'm so very sorry. People can just suck sometimes.
Fact is if you are really in love yo should never do that, and you should NEVER ask your partner to understand it. Ever.
He would've been pissed if I woulda joined the group...and even if I hadn't joined on my own..but was Added by a friend...he woulda been curious to know why I didn't say "no thanks"...and leave the group. It's a Private group...no entrace unless you are added by someone in the group...a female friend added him....but still...he didn't leave......he was soooo curious what they were gonna be talking about. With a name like "Intimate Connections"......it shoulda been a no brainer. But I guess he wasn't thinking with his brain. He woulda been highly suspicious had the roles been reversed. But you know something....I really don't need that in my life.......the fact that I had a problem with it..shoulda been enough for him to say "no thanks".....but then again...if he's that curious..to the point that watching me leave..wasn't as important as what was on that discussion board. Not the first time he's thrown me under the bus...but certainly the last.
a female friend added him ..... Says plenty to me. Sounds like she may have been aiming to make some intimate connections of her own. He sounds like a d-bag for putting his "curiousity" above your feelings. You're better off without him - keep making yourself all that, for yourself.0 -
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****************************************I feel like a complete idiot........here I am workin my hump off...trying to be "all that"......and he's chattin it up in his new group. Where is tyhe pill that makes you forget love..feelings..memories....I need 2 of them.
I'm so very sorry. People can just suck sometimes.
Fact is if you are really in love yo should never do that, and you should NEVER ask your partner to understand it. Ever.
He would've been pissed if I woulda joined the group...and even if I hadn't joined on my own..but was Added by a friend...he woulda been curious to know why I didn't say "no thanks"...and leave the group. It's a Private group...no entrace unless you are added by someone in the group...a female friend added him....but still...he didn't leave......he was soooo curious what they were gonna be talking about. With a name like "Intimate Connections"......it shoulda been a no brainer. But I guess he wasn't thinking with his brain. He woulda been highly suspicious had the roles been reversed. But you know something....I really don't need that in my life.......the fact that I had a problem with it..shoulda been enough for him to say "no thanks".....but then again...if he's that curious..to the point that watching me leave..wasn't as important as what was on that discussion board. Not the first time he's thrown me under the bus...but certainly the last.
a female friend added him ..... Says plenty to me. Sounds like she may have been aiming to make some intimate connections of her own. He sounds like a d-bag for putting his "curiousity" above your feelings. You're better off without him - keep making yourself all that, for yourself.
That is exactly what I'm going to do.........from here on out..it's a straight shot
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Someone, I won't say who, was flirting with guys on Jango before (guys who tried to get her to call or meet them constantly), so I know how that can be. She says she was kidding, and didn't mean it, and they were gross, and other stuff too, but you know what's going on when it's going on. I think she's stopped now, but she doesn't see it as wrong. Not for her, anyway - if I did it, she'd go ballistic.
That's the test for everything you do. Ask yourself "if my significant other did this, would I be pissed, bothered, jealous, anxious or upset about it?" If you would (and you're being totally honest with yourself), then hey, maybe you shouldn't be doing it either. There's a difference between being noticed or complimented while you're shopping or getting gas, and putting yourself out there just to GET compliments and flirting. Right?
We're all losing weight and improving ourselves here on MFP. We're all bound to get noticed a little more than we used to. It is NOT the same thing as seeking an "intimate connection" - if anything, it helps you and your SO have a better connection with each other.0 -
Yeah no.0
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**********************************************Someone, I won't say who, was flirting with guys on Jango before (guys who tried to get her to call or meet them constantly), so I know how that can be. She says she was kidding, and didn't mean it, and they were gross, and other stuff too, but you know what's going on when it's going on. I think she's stopped now, but she doesn't see it as wrong. Not for her, anyway - if I did it, she'd go ballistic.
That's the test for everything you do. Ask yourself "if my significant other did this, would I be pissed, bothered, jealous, anxious or upset about it?" If you would (and you're being totally honest with yourself), then hey, maybe you shouldn't be doing it either. There's a difference between being noticed or complimented while you're shopping or getting gas, and putting yourself out there just to GET compliments and flirting. Right?
We're all losing weight and improving ourselves here on MFP. We're all bound to get noticed a little more than we used to. It is NOT the same thing as seeking an "intimate
connection" - if anything, it helps you and your SO have a better connection with each
other.
I agree...and I think that's what bothered me the most...the fact that he says I flirt alot....on Facebook...but then he gets "added" to this group..without even telling me...and I would've never known about it..if I hadn't looked on his page and saw it. But I flirt? Right!! I have always had an outgoing personality..I am happy..and a friendly person..in a genuine way. If I know you..I'm not gonna treat you like a stranger..I'm a people person..I make conversation with people..I don't know any strangers...it's part of who I am. And I told him I would've NEVER joined a group with a name like that..first because it sends the wrong message..second..it's a PRIVATE group discussing adult..sexual topics...and third..if we weren't invited together..as a couple...there was no way I would discuss subject matters like that with other men..behind his back...it's like cheating to me. Whenever you're talking about certain topics to another person..other than your mate...it's cheating. He upset me..when I had to go all Madea..typin in caps..and all that....to get him to understand where I was coming from. That's not right..and he tried to justify it by saying it's not what I think..that it's all quite innocent...but com'on....intimate..means intimacy...connections...mean to connect with another person....connecting intimately with another person...atleast that what it means to me......he's got a different handbook apparently......0 -
Simply move on. Dwelling will not help.0
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^^ ThisIf it's only discussing those topics I don't see what the issue is. I wouldn't want to read about other people's sexual endeavors or share my own but just discussing relationships/sex/taboo things IN GENERAL seems fine to me and my husband wouldn't care and I wouldn't care if he joined either.
The name intimate connections kind of makes it seem like it's more than discussion though.0
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