"Intimate Connections"......

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smallerthighs
smallerthighs Posts: 148
in Chit-Chat
Yeah..I thought that would get your attention..lol. Question...

You're in a committed relationship....then one day you get invited to join a group called "Intimate Connections".....the group discusses relationships and sex..taboo topics. Do you join? How would your significant other feel about you being invited to join this group? How would you feel if your significant other joined the group....without you?
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  • routerguy666
    routerguy666 Posts: 188
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    No.

    Pissed.

    Pissed.
  • leynak
    leynak Posts: 963 Member
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    I don't think I would feel comfortable joining & I definitely wouldn't be happy if my fiance joined.
  • Mios3
    Mios3 Posts: 530 Member
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    Is it just discussion or something else?
    And yes I'd be mad if my hubby joined a group like this with out telling me.
  • teri1956
    teri1956 Posts: 221 Member
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    No.

    Pissed.

    Pissed.

    Ditto.

    Double ditto.

    Triple ditto.

    and hurt. Majorly hurt.
  • karenwill2
    karenwill2 Posts: 604 Member
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    no, no, NO! On the other hand, if you joined together.....
  • thegymbunny
    thegymbunny Posts: 602 Member
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    I would not feel comfortable joining something like that(I feel iffy posting here)

    If I did something like that it would be over, he'd be livid

    If he did something like that I would be livid
  • _eislek_
    _eislek_ Posts: 198 Member
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    If it's only discussing those topics I don't see what the issue is. I wouldn't want to read about other people's sexual endeavors or share my own but just discussing relationships/sex/taboo things IN GENERAL seems fine to me and my husband wouldn't care and I wouldn't care if he joined either.

    The name intimate connections kind of makes it seem like it's more than discussion though.
  • smallerthighs
    smallerthighs Posts: 148
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    Yeah.....when I saw he joined the group...I was pissed...heartbroken..and felt betrayed. But ...according to him..I'm the craxy one...I read too much into it....he was added without his knowledge...blah..blah..blah...............Oh, I'm angry....and sad that he didn't "unjoin"..he said he's gonna sit in on the chat tonight..and if it turns out to be a meat market...THEN he'll leave.... I said.."if it wasn't a meat market...why did they invite only you..and NOT your significant other as well??? Wow....I ended my relationship today. I am going thru issues..trying to be better..look better..feel better....and he goes and does THIS? F*** THAT!!! I don't need that bull****!!!
  • dexters_dexterity
    dexters_dexterity Posts: 342 Member
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    Yeah.....when I saw he joined the group...I was pissed...heartbroken..and felt betrayed. But ...according to him..I'm the craxy one...I read too much into it....he was added without his knowledge...blah..blah..blah...............Oh, I'm angry....and sad that he didn't "unjoin"..he said he's gonna sit in on the chat tonight..and if it turns out to be a meat market...THEN he'll leave.... I said.."if it wasn't a meat market...why did they invite only you..and NOT your significant other as well??? Wow....I ended my relationship today. I am going thru issues..trying to be better..look better..feel better....and he goes and does THIS? F*** THAT!!! I don't need that bull****!!!

    dont get mad, its ok if he comes back repenting forgive him
    if not
    u deserve much better...n u r already on the route of betterment!
  • zorbaru
    zorbaru Posts: 1,077 Member
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    wait, is this an online group or a real group?
  • smallerthighs
    smallerthighs Posts: 148
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    wait, is this an online group or a real group?

    ***********************************
    It's an online group.....but that's where alot of bull$hit starts...online......offline. I'm no idiot. You don't name a group "Intimate CONNECTIONS"......unless there are CONNECTIONS.
  • foodforfuel
    foodforfuel Posts: 569 Member
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    wait, is this an online group or a real group?

    ***********************************
    It's an online group.....but that's where alot of bull$hit starts...online......offline. I'm no idiot. You don't name a group "Intimate CONNECTIONS"......unless there are CONNECTIONS.

    You got that right, sister! Like Judge Judy says, don't piss on my leg and tell me it's raining!
  • thegymbunny
    thegymbunny Posts: 602 Member
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    Yeah.....when I saw he joined the group...I was pissed...heartbroken..and felt betrayed. But ...according to him..I'm the craxy one...I read too much into it....he was added without his knowledge...blah..blah..blah...............Oh, I'm angry....and sad that he didn't "unjoin"..he said he's gonna sit in on the chat tonight..and if it turns out to be a meat market...THEN he'll leave.... I said.."if it wasn't a meat market...why did they invite only you..and NOT your significant other as well??? Wow....I ended my relationship today. I am going thru issues..trying to be better..look better..feel better....and he goes and does THIS? F*** THAT!!! I don't need that bull****!!!

    Ughh I am SOOO sorry. WHo the heck would do that.
  • zorbaru
    zorbaru Posts: 1,077 Member
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    if its an online group that he got invited into without his knowledge and you broke up with him over that?

    im sorry but there must have been a lot more going on leading up to it other than just that.

    just cos he is gonna join the chat room and have a look doesnt mean anything. infact it could probably be entertaining.

    did he tell you that you couldnt sit there and watch? if that was the case then perhaps you could be a little suspicious.

    other than that i think there may be other issues (such as prior "connections") that the OP isnt telling us because if someone broke up with me over that i would be thinking that they are a bit over the top
  • bachooka
    bachooka Posts: 719 Member
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    Coming from a woman who has been cheated on (more than once): I would absolutely freak! That is how it starts... no one in a commited relationship needs to talk about sex with strangers on the internet... chat leads to cam, cam leads to more direct lines of communication, and that leads to face to face (and most likely genital to genital) contact... It's a slippery slope, and no one in a commited relationship should test their will power like that.
  • smallerthighs
    smallerthighs Posts: 148
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    I feel like a complete idiot........here I am workin my hump off...trying to be "all that"......and he's chattin it up in his new group. Where is the pill that makes you forget love..feelings..memories....I need 2 of them.
  • smallerthighs
    smallerthighs Posts: 148
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    if its an online group that he got invited into without his knowledge and you broke up with him over that?

    im sorry but there must have been a lot more going on leading up to it other than just that.

    just cos he is gonna join the chat room and have a look doesnt mean anything. infact it could probably be entertaining.

    did he tell you that you couldnt sit there and watch? if that was the case then perhaps you could be a little suspicious.

    other than that i think there may be other issues (such as prior "connections") that the OP isnt telling us because if someone broke up with me over that I

    would be thinking that they are a bit over the top


    ********************************
    Until it happens to you........
  • thegymbunny
    thegymbunny Posts: 602 Member
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    I feel like a complete idiot........here I am workin my hump off...trying to be "all that"......and he's chattin it up in his new group. Where is the pill that makes you forget love..feelings..memories....I need 2 of them.

    I'm so very sorry. People can just suck sometimes.

    Fact is if you are really in love yo should never do that, and you should NEVER ask your partner to understand it. Ever.
  • smallerthighs
    smallerthighs Posts: 148
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    I feel like a complete idiot........here I am workin my hump off...trying to be "all that"......and he's chattin it up in his new group. Where is the pill that makes you forget love..feelings..memories....I need 2 of them.

    I'm so very sorry. People can just suck sometimes.

    Fact is if you are really in love yo should never do that, and you should NEVER ask your partner to understand it. Ever.
    ****************************************

    He would've been pissed if I woulda joined the group...and even if I hadn't joined on my own..but was Added by a friend...he woulda been curious to know why I didn't say "no thanks"...and leave the group. It's a Private group...no entrace unless you are added by someone in the group...a female friend added him....but still...he didn't leave......he was soooo curious what they were gonna be talking about. With a name like "Intimate Connections"......it shoulda been a no brainer. But I guess he wasn't thinking with his brain. He woulda been highly suspicious had the roles been reversed. But you know something....I really don't need that in my life.......the fact that I had a problem with it..shoulda been enough for him to say "no thanks".....but then again...if he's that curious..to the point that watching me leave..wasn't as important as what was on that discussion board. Not the first time he's thrown me under the bus...but certainly the last.
  • BrianTheNegotiator
    BrianTheNegotiator Posts: 25 Member
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    Yeah, fidelity should > curiosity. He should have told you about it and asked you how you felt. And you either look at it together, or he leaves. OR, he should have just left. Looks like you'll have the last laugh, though.

    I feel a little edgy just posting in the 'compliment the person above you' threads. Honestly, my wife is the BEST, so I feel like complimenting her!

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