Why do I find this so hard?
Xkmaf2018X
Posts: 97 Member
Hi All
Firstly I'm 34, 5ft 3in and weigh 12st so am classed as overweight. I would like to lose around 2st, however, I am just struggling at the moment and have been all year. I just can't seem to stay on track for even one week so I'm fritting between 11st 11lb and 12st all the time!
A few weeks ago I cancelled my gym membership as I felt I was just obsessed with exercising. I've been going to the gym since 2015 but the past 8 months I either go all out 100% and do classes everyday, most days back to back or I don't go all out at all meaning 0%. I found I would go all out for a few weeks then I literally would exhaust myself and would lose motivation, feel guilty and fat for not going then I'd get my energy/motivation back and go ALL out and so on and so on, so I cancelled it to give my mentality a break! That worked because now I work out 2-3x a week and it feels good to not put so much pressure on myself....
Then I have the "diet" side of it where again I go all out, I am good, I stick to my deficit for a few days then wham, that biscuit enters my mouth and I feel like a loser, failure, fat, guilty and then just eat everything in site (not literally but you know what I mean). I start EVERYDAY with good, positive intentions and then I mess it up and its the same circle day in, day out and I can't seem to break this cycle of being really good one day then the next self sabotaging myself.
I just dont know what to do!
Please, if anyone else has been in this situation how did you break that cycle.
Firstly I'm 34, 5ft 3in and weigh 12st so am classed as overweight. I would like to lose around 2st, however, I am just struggling at the moment and have been all year. I just can't seem to stay on track for even one week so I'm fritting between 11st 11lb and 12st all the time!
A few weeks ago I cancelled my gym membership as I felt I was just obsessed with exercising. I've been going to the gym since 2015 but the past 8 months I either go all out 100% and do classes everyday, most days back to back or I don't go all out at all meaning 0%. I found I would go all out for a few weeks then I literally would exhaust myself and would lose motivation, feel guilty and fat for not going then I'd get my energy/motivation back and go ALL out and so on and so on, so I cancelled it to give my mentality a break! That worked because now I work out 2-3x a week and it feels good to not put so much pressure on myself....
Then I have the "diet" side of it where again I go all out, I am good, I stick to my deficit for a few days then wham, that biscuit enters my mouth and I feel like a loser, failure, fat, guilty and then just eat everything in site (not literally but you know what I mean). I start EVERYDAY with good, positive intentions and then I mess it up and its the same circle day in, day out and I can't seem to break this cycle of being really good one day then the next self sabotaging myself.
I just dont know what to do!
Please, if anyone else has been in this situation how did you break that cycle.
2
Replies
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Why does eating a biscuit = failure?
Eat food you like in portion sizes that put you in a calorie deficit and eat some fruit and veg. It really is that simple.7 -
Thanks for your input0
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Maybe you should try prelogging your day and then try and stick to it. Everyone has their own way of hitting their daily calorie goal. There are ways to change things up--foods you eat, when you eat, etc. Maybe your deficit is too much and you should lighten up and go slower. I just was reading your other thread about exercise. You asked if you can exercise everyday. I would say--no. Go 3 days a week and, if you must, on the off days explore other things to do--perhaps a walk or yoga. This is not an all or nothing way of living.2
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Thanks snowflake....I have tried pre-logging food but I didn't really enjoy it but most days I do know what I'm having and will stick to it...(if that makes sense)...I walk a lot everyday as I walk to and from work so easily get around 12,000 steps a day....My calorie goal as set by MFP is 1290 I think!
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You need to stop the all or nothing thinking. You don't need to be perfect to lose weight, and there should be no deadline you are forced to meet. Eat a biscuit, just log it. I ate ice cream, pizza, and fast food throughout my weight loss. Just not as often and not as much as I used to.
Eat foods you like, try to make healthy choices, log log log everything and learn as you go what foods fill you up and what foods are not worth the calories. If you have a day you go off plan - oh, well. Learn something from it and do better tomorrow. You don't get style points, and there's no extra credit for eating nothing but stereotypically "healthy" foods. Hang in there and good luck :drinker:
Edited to add: with 2 stone to lose, aim for 1 lb per week. Check out these threads too, they might help:
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10012907/logging-accuracy-consistency-and-youre-probably-eating-more-than-you-think/p1
https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/1080242/a-guide-to-get-you-started-on-your-path-to-sexypants/p1
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Xkmaf2018X wrote: »Thanks snowflake....I have tried pre-logging food but I didn't really enjoy it but most days I do know what I'm having and will stick to it...(if that makes sense)...I walk a lot everyday as I walk to and from work so easily get around 12,000 steps a day....My calorie goal as set by MFP is 1290 I think!
I hope you're netting 1290 then? Given the number of steps you do you're in no way sedentary2 -
No, I try and stick to the 1290....I put in the settings that I was sedentary as despite doing those steps I do have desk job and I thought that was the rule.
I have a fitbit which of course syncs any "extra" calories to MFP but I always feel bad if I use them...Sometimes I wonder if this is why I go off track ALL the time...
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Xkmaf2018X wrote: »Thanks snowflake....I have tried pre-logging food but I didn't really enjoy it but most days I do know what I'm having and will stick to it...(if that makes sense)...I walk a lot everyday as I walk to and from work so easily get around 12,000 steps a day....My calorie goal as set by MFP is 1290 I think!
This statement contradicts your original post that you start every day with good intentions then "mess it up". You say you don't enjoy pre-logging, but did it help? I don't particularly enjoy it either but it helps me tremendously because I know just how much wiggle room I have in the day to eat something unplanned.
As kimny72 said, you need to learn moderation. I realize that is much easier said than done; it is something I have struggled with implementing for years. But it does get easier with time. Stop looking at certain foods as good or bad. Just look at them in terms of something you ate that you need to fit into your day or just move on from. You basically need to separate your emotions from your eating (I say this as a lifelong emotional eater). The same goes for exercise. Don't think of exercise as the magic way to lose weight. Think of it as something that earns you a modest amount of extra calories and improves your overall health.3 -
first be kind to yourself. The best advice I got here when I started and I was lashing out at myself the way you do was this : If you saw me eating a biscuit would you drag me in front of the mirror and call me fat and ugly and worthless ? so why do it to yourself? It is not doing much for self esteem.
Do like kimny72 says small portion of the stuff you like and enjoy life.5 -
@puffbrat is right. Foods aren't good or bad. I often elect to eat things with lower calories because I want more volume but I understand I can eat anything I want in moderation. If you only have 2 stone to lose and you are at 1290 calories I suspect you set MFP to lose 2 lbs a week. That is too much to lose per week at your weight. Take your time to lose and learn a new eating lifestyle. Losing weight isn't something you should do quick. You have to retrain yourself to eat differently than you have been otherwise you lose it and gain it right back. Slow down and find some type of exercise you enjoy. If that's walking then great. Having a few extra calories should help you to stop going crazy every few days because you've been starving. Hang in there and take your time.6
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Xkmaf2018X wrote: »No, I try and stick to the 1290....I put in the settings that I was sedentary as despite doing those steps I do have desk job and I thought that was the rule.
I have a fitbit which of course syncs any "extra" calories to MFP but I always feel bad if I use them...Sometimes I wonder if this is why I go off track ALL the time...
Yes, it most likely is.6 -
Xkmaf2018X wrote: »No, I try and stick to the 1290....I put in the settings that I was sedentary as despite doing those steps I do have desk job and I thought that was the rule.
I have a fitbit which of course syncs any "extra" calories to MFP but I always feel bad if I use them...Sometimes I wonder if this is why I go off track ALL the time...
Yes. Yes, it is. Eat your exercise calories, at least 50% of them.4 -
I cant remember what I put to lose, I dont think it was 2lb but I can check.
Shall I maybe reset it to lose 1lb or something?
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Xkmaf2018X wrote: »I cant remember what I put to lose, I dont think it was 2lb but I can check.
Shall I maybe reset it to lose 1lb or something?
Again, yes.
If eating a bit more keeps you on track, you'll actually end up losing more, right?0 -
Xkmaf2018X wrote: »I cant remember what I put to lose, I dont think it was 2lb but I can check.
Shall I maybe reset it to lose 1lb or something?
Yes. Set it at "Lose 1 pound per week."
Also, change your Activity setting to, "Active." With your walking to work as part of your daily activity, you should be set at Active.
Then, on days you do intentional Exercise - add it to the Exercise tab and eat a bit more, like a couple hundred calories or three hundred.
That's the way this site is set up to be used.
THE REASON you aren't able to stick to it is that you have set your calories way too low for your level of body fat and your level of daily activity. So you are legitimately hungry and unable to stick to that low calorie amount, because you are using too-low settings.
I would think you would lose quite easily at 1600-1800 PLUS exercise calories on intentional exercise days ( the 12,000 steps are not exercise, that's accounted for in your, "activity level.")
Reset and let us know what your new goal is, then stick to that for a couple months. You don't need to be miserable and you don't need to go from one extreme (1290) to eat-all-the-food. Just set your daily goal reasonably.5 -
Thanks All
So I've amended my settings - see below.
- Lightly Active - Lose 1lb per week gives me a goal of 1520
- Active - Lose 1lb per week gives me 1810
Shall I go with the Lightly Active option?
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Xkmaf2018X wrote: »Thanks All
So I've amended my settings - see below.
- Lightly Active - Lose 1lb per week gives me a goal of 1520
- Active - Lose 1lb per week gives me 1810
Shall I go with the Lightly Active option?
Pick one and stick to it for two months. Log diligently.
I would use the Active setting. Whichever one you choose, stick to it for two months and keep good records. At first you won't be able to tell what's happening because the body doesn't turn around rapidly. You MAY see a pound or two increase on the scale in the first week, but STICK TO IT. Good records are your best friend and you have to stick with it long enough to collect trending data.6 -
I found the activity settings to be way too low for me, that's why I say I would pick Active.
It makes sense to just do whatever you feel you can sustain for two months.
I came to my conclusions based on years of collected data, you just have to do the work.0 -
OP - I work an office job where I am sitting all day and also made the mistake of adding myself as ‘sedentary’ when I started out.
I was blooming starving! And as a result much more likely to throw in the towel.
I walk around 12k steps per day to and from work and quickly found that ‘active’ was much more suitable!
I also second what others have already pointed out, the reason you are not making progress is because you are doing the all or nothong approach. I have also been a victim of this in the past too, and trust me it doesnt work.
You need to make small and sustainable changes, not starve yourself and burn out.
Havent you heard, 1000 calorie diets are so 90s, strong is the new fashion. And to achieve that, you need to EAT!
Good luck
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If the fitbit is adding calorie adjustments for those steps ... doesn't it get double counted when you set activity level to active ?
OP, what is the calorie adjustment on 12000 steps ?1 -
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Xkmaf2018X wrote: »Thanks All
So I've amended my settings - see below.
- Lightly Active - Lose 1lb per week gives me a goal of 1520
- Active - Lose 1lb per week gives me 1810
Shall I go with the Lightly Active option?
Just for some perspective. I work from home. I get maybe 1000 steps per day if I don't go out. THAT is sedentary. And I've lost at the rate predicted by MFP.
You really should go with Active setting.
With 1800 calories you have space for the regular biscuit or the occasional cake. Having them don't make you a failure.2 -
If the fitbit is adding calorie adjustments for those steps ... doesn't it get double counted when you set activity level to active ?
OP, what is the calorie adjustment on 12000 steps ?
She didn't mention having a FitBit, so not sure why you bring that up.
She's eating 1290...no FitBit would tell her that with a 12,000 step commute.1 -
I tend to do the same things you do where I'm 100% gung ho and then fall off the wagon. I realized that I was thinking about it too much. I mean, I'd count religiously, feel amazing when I managed a low deficit for the day/week/month and then I'd blow up and have a binge(s)/quit and rationalize that it was ok to do so since I'd been so strict for a month. Every time I'd quit/binge it felt like starting all over again.
This time around, I'm doing things differently. I set a 1lb a week loss goal. I don't factor any gym time into my weight loss. I go to the gym because it makes me feel good and relieves stress, but I'm not tracking my gym calories at all. It made it easier because I was always stressing over how much did I "earn" for eating back. With the higher daily calorie intake I don't have to worry about that now because I'm not starving myself.
I'm also open to the fact that this works right now, butt might not work forever. As I get closer to my goal (which is pretty far away) I might have to tighten up my tracking. Not worrying about that for now.
I used to think that because I was 50lbs over weight I needed to have a high calorie deficit...but I've been on MFP on and off for several years (had a couple babies in there) and when I think of the gaining and losing cycle I realize I could have just accepted it would take a year to lose what I wanted to lose rather than losing 80% of it in 6 months, falling off the wagon, gaining it back, and repeating.
My dream is to one day hit a point where I eat a reasonable amount out of habit without having to count calories.
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cmriverside wrote: »If the fitbit is adding calorie adjustments for those steps ... doesn't it get double counted when you set activity level to active ?
OP, what is the calorie adjustment on 12000 steps ?
She didn't mention having a FitBit, so not sure why you bring that up.
She's eating 1290...no FitBit would tell her that with a 12,000 step commute.
100% agree they should be eating 1800ish.
I read: "get around 12,000 steps a day....My calorie goal as set by MFP is...etc" and read it as saying 12,000 steps a day as set by my Fitbit.
Can i blame low blood sugar ? *facepalm*1 -
Sounds like you are chasing perfection and then feel like you've failed with you didn't achieve perfection.
Perfection isn't possible. Just push to be better. Better is achievable and will hold over time. Over that time you will come as close to perfection as possible.4 -
I did say I had a fitbit 😁
Yesterday I did just under 12k steps and my “extra” calories synced from fitbit to MFP was 513.0 -
Xkmaf2018X wrote: »I did say I had a fitbit 😁
Yesterday I did just under 12k steps and my “extra” calories synced from fitbit to MFP was 513.
513 on top of your 1290? Doesn't sound terribly far out in left field to me.3 -
If the fitbit is adding calorie adjustments for those steps ... doesn't it get double counted when you set activity level to active ?
OP, what is the calorie adjustment on 12000 steps ?
No...it's only going to give you additional calories beyond what you set your activity level to in MFP.0 -
Thanks everyone!
I’ll stick with the 1580 calorie goal but if needed am I allowed to eat back those walking calories my fitbit gives me and also the calories I get back from working out?0
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