The boys I know are shallow

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Replies

  • paulaGetshealthy
    paulaGetshealthy Posts: 464
    I agree with some of the guys. It's okay if those boys aren't attracted to big women; that's not the issue. But why would they use words such as "disgusting" and "nasty" when referring to big girls, especially when a "fat" girl (me) is there with them? I mean...ouch.
  • SiltyPigeon
    SiltyPigeon Posts: 920 Member
    Be honest now.... Would YOU date a 300 pound guy??

    except she's not 300 lbs. she's not even 160 lbs so the comparison doesn't hold up.

    They weren't making fun of HER, they were making fun of a DIFFERENT girl who "was like 300 lbs". So it is a legitimate question.
  • sexi_new_me
    sexi_new_me Posts: 16
    boys not men..u said it right. well hunny u r NOT FAT and plus guys who feel that way will once see for themselves that its whats on the inside that truely matters because anyone can lose 200 lbs and be funny smart nice but a snobby selfish 130 lb girl can be ugly as sin.
  • JennLifts
    JennLifts Posts: 1,913 Member
    I do agree that a lot of guys are shallow.

    However, a lot of people don't find overweight individuals physically attractive. Is it wrong to not want to date someone you are not physically attracted to?

    Using the terms 'disgusting' and 'nasty' is harsh. I personally wouldn't date someone who is overweight though because my values are not just based on physical attractiveness but health and well being. Someone who is overweight is in general not someone that pays particularly close attention to health and well-being. This isn't always the case but it is in general. For this same reason I wouldn't date someone who is crazily underweight.

    I think the way these guys went about it is wrong but there are legitimate reasons to finding overweight individuals unattractive both physically and value wise.

    That being said depending on a persons height some weights aren't particularly bad. But I personally wouldn't date someone who is my weight (about 170lbs) and height (170cm or 5' 8") unless they were actively trying to do something about their weight or like me they were athletically involved.

    Are you.. .planking in that picture?


    He's not. I asked the same thing lol
  • paulaGetshealthy
    paulaGetshealthy Posts: 464
    by the way...Chris and I...it's probably not going anywhere....
  • Elzecat
    Elzecat Posts: 2,916 Member
    what it really comes down to, is...why would you want to date someone who finds making such remarks amusing (even if he's just going along with his buddies)...regardless of what he knows/thinks of your weight and/or weight issues...it's mean. Maybe try talking to him...but he may not get it. And I agree with someone else who suggested you work on your self esteem--you're a beautiful young woman who is making an effort at being healthy. And you deserve good things, and good people in your life, not people who tear down your self esteem. (and don't do it to yourself either ;)

    guys really don't know weight amounts--years ago I had a boyfriend ask me how much I weighed...he was commenting that I was really athletic (I used to lift a lot of weights when I was younger) and he was floored when I told him the number, he thought I was like 30 pounds lighter...they're clueless (no offense to the guys on this site ;)
  • bflicker11
    bflicker11 Posts: 296
    They aren't ripe until they're at least 30 years old.

    So true!!!!!
  • Rompa_87
    Rompa_87 Posts: 291 Member
    I do agree that a lot of guys are shallow.

    However, a lot of people don't find overweight individuals physically attractive. Is it wrong to not want to date someone you are not physically attracted to?

    Using the terms 'disgusting' and 'nasty' is harsh. I personally wouldn't date someone who is overweight though because my values are not just based on physical attractiveness but health and well being. Someone who is overweight is in general not someone that pays particularly close attention to health and well-being. This isn't always the case but it is in general. For this same reason I wouldn't date someone who is crazily underweight.

    I think the way these guys went about it is wrong but there are legitimate reasons to finding overweight individuals unattractive both physically and value wise.

    That being said depending on a persons height some weights aren't particularly bad. But I personally wouldn't date someone who is my weight (about 170lbs) and height (170cm or 5' 8") unless they were actively trying to do something about their weight or like me they were athletically involved.

    Are you.. .planking in that picture?

    Haha I'm not planking. I'm performing a lever on portable still rings. It's an official gymnastic skill which has been around much longer than planking :P
  • Lleldiranne
    Lleldiranne Posts: 5,516 Member
    Yes, they are shallow. They are boys and haven't developed the maturity to realize that talking like that isn't funny. Sadly, I know some older people who haven't figured out the same thing.

    Question for you -- did you sit there and put up with it? Or did you tell them to cut it out? Sometimes all a person needs is to be told that what he's (or she's) doing or saying is inappropriate to realize they need to rethink their "joke." In a case like this, silence pretty much equates to consent. If you did say something and they still are rude (or start picking on you) it's time to leave and end the relationship right away. You deserve better.
  • thegymbunny
    thegymbunny Posts: 602 Member
    They're idiots likely just spouting off numbers.

    My ex husband used to always tell me he would leave me if I got up to 140.


    I was 140 or over most of our relationship.




    Just being men. I'm sure if the men were all alone they would say different.
  • thegymbunny
    thegymbunny Posts: 602 Member
    and ps, you are beautiful so screw what a bunch of "boys" say.
  • Avalonis
    Avalonis Posts: 1,540 Member
    They're idiots likely just spouting off numbers.

    My ex husband used to always tell me he would leave me if I got up to 140.


    I was 140 or over most of our relationship.


    Just being men. I'm sure if the men were all alone they would say different.

    Yep ;)
  • skinnyhopes
    skinnyhopes Posts: 402 Member
    WHATEVER. edited.
  • kayemme
    kayemme Posts: 1,782 Member
    ugh.
  • kayemme
    kayemme Posts: 1,782 Member
    delete
  • kayemme
    kayemme Posts: 1,782 Member
    They're young. They're still "boys". Most likely half of them will grow up and be better when they're older. The others, who don't grow up will be losers. Save yourself some frustration and just realize they're like children, and that MEN are much different!

    this isn't really an excuse. every boy has a mother who should have taught him better manners. srsly.
  • kapeluza
    kapeluza Posts: 3,434 Member
    Maybe you should stop dating this "boy" Chris. He sounds just horrible and immature/cancerous. Just reading the crap they say makes me want to head desk!!!!!!

    Head_desk___Forkke_by_NeoSlashott.gif
  • shashaz2002
    shashaz2002 Posts: 42
    Boys will be Boys, and don't let them get you down. I hope you told your boyfriend that the conversation was hurtful and you didn't appreciate the comments that were being made?

    Obviously those boys are "single" for a reason, they must have their own insecurities.
  • kyle4jem
    kyle4jem Posts: 1,400 Member
    If the boys are too shallow it's only because they haven't dug their holes deep enough :laugh:

    Life experience will hopefully make them see how stupid and ignorant they were in their youth. Peer pressure is something not to be sneezed at, and it might have been difficult for Chris to stand up to his friends, but he should have walked away from the conversation and taken you with him at least.

    Boys will be boys.... it's just sad that some never grow up :laugh:
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