Anyone with BED and able to lose

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Ive been told by my therapist to stop all diets because of my BED. And yes since I stopped and stopped telling myself what foods were good and bad and restricting I haven't had a binge in a few weeks. However I am now at my heaviest ever. I weighed this morning and lo and behold binged this evening. What can I do? How do I beat this? I want to beat it and lose 7 stone!
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  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
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    flosoup24 wrote: »
    Ive been told by my therapist to stop all diets because of my BED. And yes since I stopped and stopped telling myself what foods were good and bad and restricting I haven't had a binge in a few weeks. However I am now at my heaviest ever. I weighed this morning and lo and behold binged this evening. What can I do? How do I beat this? I want to beat it and lose 7 stone!

    Those are questions for your therapist, no?
  • flosoup24
    flosoup24 Posts: 44 Member
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    She won't address the issue of food. She only want to work with my self esteem for now and keeps saying just to eat intuitively :(
  • flosoup24
    flosoup24 Posts: 44 Member
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    flosoup24 wrote: »
    Ive been told by my therapist to stop all diets because of my BED. And yes since I stopped and stopped telling myself what foods were good and bad and restricting I haven't had a binge in a few weeks. However I am now at my heaviest ever. I weighed this morning and lo and behold binged this evening. What can I do? How do I beat this? I want to beat it and lose 7 stone!

    Those are questions for your therapist, no?

    They are yes but all she tells me is not to diet.
  • flosoup24
    flosoup24 Posts: 44 Member
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    I agree with those above that you really need to work with your therapist on this. However, with that said, I have BED, as well as other EDs, and have lost 105lbs. I think the main reason I was successful this time around was I worked with my therapist and focused on my mental health before anything. Once I got my head in a better place we slowly moved into a healthier relationship with food and feeding my body what it needs. After that, we progressed to fitness and now I am where I am today.

    Work on your mental health first, if you're not healthy in the mind you will never be successful overall. Our mental health is the most important and once that is in place everything should follow! It won't be easy, you'll have setbacks, but you'll get there!

    Its so hard when im growing the wrong way
    I also have fibromyalgia, ME and a million other health conditions that I really need to lose weight for
  • amyepdx
    amyepdx Posts: 750 Member
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    Maybe don’t call it “dieting”? Can you work with your therapist to determine what a healthy weight range would be for you and then tell her you want eat the right amount of calories necessary to maintain a healthy weight by tracking your food jnstake?
  • flosoup24
    flosoup24 Posts: 44 Member
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    rsclause wrote: »
    Instead of a diet that focuses primarily on calorie restriction maybe you should explore a different way of eating. I don't know if it would decrease the desire to binge but the Keto WOE has decreased my appetite in general. Not saying I can eat more calories it just feels different to me. Keto also places my binge type foods off limits like a bag of potato chips, french fries or a box of crackers. This is not medical advice and it would be wise to research and consult with your therapist prior to making big changes.

    Its the off limits that drives me though I think. That all or nothing blown diet thing and Keto is pretty restrictive
  • flosoup24
    flosoup24 Posts: 44 Member
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    flosoup24 wrote: »
    She won't address the issue of food. She only want to work with my self esteem for now and keeps saying just to eat intuitively :(

    So it seems (to me) like you have two options here. The first is to accept that your therapist has valid reasons for this approach right now, that she's determined that a focus on food/weight/dieting isn't what you need right now for recovery for your BED. If that's the approach, bringing up your frustrations and fears with treatment may be productive.

    The second is that this isn't the right fit for you as a therapist. I'm not saying that is the case, but if you find that her approach is making your condition worse and she's not open to discussing her approach and long-term plans with you, you may want to consider if a different therapist -- one who will be more open about what success looks like for your treatment -- would be a better fit.

    In either case, the question of how to beat your ED should be something you and your therapist are tackling together, not something you're having to get advice on online because you are frustrated with how she's approaching it.

    I think this is great. I did a little thinking about today and its my head space. I weighed this morning and had a gain this started the spiral and then the binge and in turn searching for advice when really I want an instant cure and thus it continues.
  • flosoup24
    flosoup24 Posts: 44 Member
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    kimny72 wrote: »
    BED is a psychological issue, not eating too much because you are hungry.

    OP, I would agree with what's already been said - your therapist seems to feel like until you get the mental part down, focusing on the physical part (food and weight) will just make things worse. It might be best to let your therapist know that you are aware you are gaining weight and knowing that is causing you to binge, and see if they have feedback or a different strategy. I'm so sorry you're struggling, hang in there :flowerforyou:

    Thank you for this. She is right I do need to accept me first but its just hard when you feel humongous and its getting worse
  • janejellyroll
    janejellyroll Posts: 25,763 Member
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    flosoup24 wrote: »
    flosoup24 wrote: »
    She won't address the issue of food. She only want to work with my self esteem for now and keeps saying just to eat intuitively :(

    So it seems (to me) like you have two options here. The first is to accept that your therapist has valid reasons for this approach right now, that she's determined that a focus on food/weight/dieting isn't what you need right now for recovery for your BED. If that's the approach, bringing up your frustrations and fears with treatment may be productive.

    The second is that this isn't the right fit for you as a therapist. I'm not saying that is the case, but if you find that her approach is making your condition worse and she's not open to discussing her approach and long-term plans with you, you may want to consider if a different therapist -- one who will be more open about what success looks like for your treatment -- would be a better fit.

    In either case, the question of how to beat your ED should be something you and your therapist are tackling together, not something you're having to get advice on online because you are frustrated with how she's approaching it.

    I think this is great. I did a little thinking about today and its my head space. I weighed this morning and had a gain this started the spiral and then the binge and in turn searching for advice when really I want an instant cure and thus it continues.

    I can completely identify. It's so hard for me to be patient with the process. I make a therapy appointment and then get angry because I'm not better yet! :D

    For me, the vicious cycle -- stress makes me want to eat (or restrict), excessive eating (or restriction) causes stress, even dealing with the underlying emotions causes stress. It can get better though! I'm at a point where it isn't part of my daily life anymore, just something that flares up. It's possible. I'm wishing you good luck. <3
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 27,897 Member
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    flosoup24 wrote: »
    She won't address the issue of food. She only want to work with my self esteem for now and keeps saying just to eat intuitively :(

    Intuitive eating only works for me if all I have available to eat is higher volume/lower calorie food. It worked fine for me when I was in Costa Rico and yoga retreat centers with a limited array of foods available. But if I am doing the grocery shopping, I intuitively want ice cream and pizza or other hyper-palatable, high calorie, low satiety foods.

    Are you two doing any Cognitive Behavioral Therapy?
  • flosoup24
    flosoup24 Posts: 44 Member
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    flosoup24 wrote: »
    flosoup24 wrote: »
    She won't address the issue of food. She only want to work with my self esteem for now and keeps saying just to eat intuitively :(

    So it seems (to me) like you have two options here. The first is to accept that your therapist has valid reasons for this approach right now, that she's determined that a focus on food/weight/dieting isn't what you need right now for recovery for your BED. If that's the approach, bringing up your frustrations and fears with treatment may be productive.

    The second is that this isn't the right fit for you as a therapist. I'm not saying that is the case, but if you find that her approach is making your condition worse and she's not open to discussing her approach and long-term plans with you, you may want to consider if a different therapist -- one who will be more open about what success looks like for your treatment -- would be a better fit.

    In either case, the question of how to beat your ED should be something you and your therapist are tackling together, not something you're having to get advice on online because you are frustrated with how she's approaching it.

    I think this is great. I did a little thinking about today and its my head space. I weighed this morning and had a gain this started the spiral and then the binge and in turn searching for advice when really I want an instant cure and thus it continues.

    I can completely identify. It's so hard for me to be patient with the process. I make a therapy appointment and then get angry because I'm not better yet! :D

    For me, the vicious cycle -- stress makes me want to eat (or restrict), excessive eating (or restriction) causes stress, even dealing with the underlying emotions causes stress. It can get better though! I'm at a point where it isn't part of my daily life anymore, just something that flares up. It's possible. I'm wishing you good luck. <3

    Im so glad that you've gotten to that point. I had felt great for 3 weeks yes food choices were made on impulse but no binge and then slap! Back today
  • flosoup24
    flosoup24 Posts: 44 Member
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    kshama2001 wrote: »
    flosoup24 wrote: »
    She won't address the issue of food. She only want to work with my self esteem for now and keeps saying just to eat intuitively :(

    Intuitive eating only works for me if all I have available to eat is higher volume/lower calorie food. It worked fine for me when I was in Costa Rico and yoga retreat centers with a limited array of foods available. But if I am doing the grocery shopping, I intuitively want ice cream and pizza or other hyper-palatable, high calorie, low satiety foods.

    Are you two doing any Cognitive Behavioral Therapy?

    Lol yes I intuitively want pizza and chocolate. Yes she is doing a little CBT. And voice of reason kinda stuff. I've just had a really bad day tomorrow will be better