Judgmental People
sophiegarcia411
Posts: 8 Member
I am a college student struggling with weight issues. In the morning, I generally eat oatmeal and 6 egg whites (from a hard boiled egg) in the dining hall. I don't eat the yolk. Each morning, I generally take 6 eggs, but like I said, I only eat the whites. One of the workers always stares me down every morning when I approach the line where the breakfast food is. I look up and just see him staring at me with a flat affect. I get embarrassed. Should I say something? What is your opinion?
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Replies
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Maybe he feels that you're taking way too many eggs in a place where food is supposed to be shared with others too? Especially when you're going to waste the yolks.
That's the main reason I can think of. Don't really think he's staring at you because of weight issues, though I could be wrong.7 -
Have you spoken to him? Maybe he likes you. Maybe he thinks that is what he does with his eggs too. A kindred spirit, so to speak.0
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It's probably unusual to take 6 eggs.
Even so, I'm not sure why it's troubling you that he stares at you with flat affect. You seem to be making assumptions about what he might be thinking. You don't know what he actually is thinking: Maybe he just has flat affect in the morning?
Regardless, why would that affect you? You're not doing anything especially unreasonable (though if it were me, I'd eat some of the yolks, or even all of the yolks, because they're good for me).
Just take your eggs, and eat them however you like. You paid for them in your meal plan. His problem is his problem. If he asks about it, tell him you like eggs. If he says something unpleasant about it, complain to his boss.
Having worked for nearly 5 years in a university cafeteria, I can guarantee that a person eating 6 eggs isn't the strangest thing that happens there on any given day.
What you're doing is fine.8 -
I have to wonder, what do you assume he's thinking when he looks at you? Are YOU judging HIM? Maybe it's nothing negative, maybe you remind him of someone, maybe he likes your haircut.
I found I was much happier when I stopped assuming people were having negative thoughts about me. Most people are too wrapped up in their own lives to think about others very much, and if they are thinking something negative, it says way more about them than it does about you.
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Odd things I found about weight loss. One is, I had to become more assertive to do it.
This isn’t a point in favor of speaking up. It’s a point in favor of doing what you think you need to do for you without feeling obliged to explain it to others.
I agree that you shouldn’t assume you know what he’s thinking. But what he thinks doesn’t count. I don’t agree that it matters if you’re “wasting” the yokes either. I frequently do the same thing you do. I’m not eating the yoke to suit someone else’s fancy. You don’t have to clean your plate.
Another thing I’ve found is the less I discuss my plan or even weight loss in general, the better off I am. We’re better off on message boards.
Do your plan. It’s nobody’s business but your own.3 -
Lose the “noise” in your life. One of those things is worrying less about others opinions. It will all get much easier when you do. The lions don’t worry about what the sheep think.10
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sunsweet77 wrote: »Lose the “noise” in your life. One of those things is worrying less about others opinions. It will all get much easier when you do. The lions don’t worry about what the sheep think.
Yes
Ignore the noise
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You could smile and say “good morning, how are you?” Then go about your day. Repeat. Daily. You may be pleasantly surprised at the response you get.8
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sunsweet77 wrote: »Lose the “noise” in your life. One of those things is worrying less about others opinions. It will all get much easier when you do. The lions don’t worry about what the sheep think.
I love this! I need to apply it to all areas of my life. 🐯2 -
Be like water off a ducks back.2
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sunsweet77 wrote: »Lose the “noise” in your life. One of those things is worrying less about others opinions. It will all get much easier when you do. The lions don’t worry about what the sheep think.
Exactly.
OP, in time you will find that life is much easier, more pleasant, when you worry less about what others think when you're talking about people who have no affect on you.0 -
It's probably not typical to take 6 eggs. So maybe it's a curiosity thing. Let me assure you in the workplace when you carry in prepped meals, you will get some funny looks too. It doesn't end once you leave school.
OR...and this is my personal opinion...he's bored AF at his job and is just staring with flat effect in general, zoning out. Do you think working in a college caf is a super-exciting, thrilling, pulse-racing, white-knuckle, edge-of-your-seat job? I don't think so. Dude is probably bored out of his mind & mentally on another planet. He may be looking right at you and not even really see you. He's thinking about the fight with his girlfriend last night, bills that are due, going out with his buddies to watch the game later, that hot chick he always sees at the gas station but can't work up the sand to talk to, blah blah blah...not necessarily about you & your dietary choices.
Regardless, good on you for making healthy choices at college. You keep on doin' you!1 -
It's probably not typical to take 6 eggs. So maybe it's a curiosity thing. Let me assure you in the workplace when you carry in prepped meals, you will get some funny looks too. It doesn't end once you leave school.
OR...and this is my personal opinion...he's bored AF at his job and is just staring with flat effect in general, zoning out. Do you think working in a college caf is a super-exciting, thrilling, pulse-racing, white-knuckle, edge-of-your-seat job? I don't think so. Dude is probably bored out of his mind & mentally on another planet. He may be looking right at you and not even really see you. He's thinking about the fight with his girlfriend last night, bills that are due, going out with his buddies to watch the game later, that hot chick he always sees at the gas station but can't work up the sand to talk to, blah blah blah...not necessarily about you & your dietary choices.
Regardless, good on you for making healthy choices at college. You keep on doin' you!
Yep.
If there's one Thing I've learned it's that people aren't even thinking about me. It's not about me at all.3 -
If someone was staring at me, I’d smile and possibly take a bite at the same time. Then walk back and eat my food. I wouldn’t say anything, unless they say something to you.1
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I am the type of person who would say to him, "Hi! So, I eat a lot of eggs every day, is that really weird?" and see what his reaction was. In my experience, one of the following would happen:
- he would say "yes I noticed you do eat a lot of eggs. Why don't you eat the yolks?"
- he would say "OH NO it's fine, fine, fine..." and seem really embarrassed in the future if he saw you.
- he would say something confrontational and it would be out in the open and you could say to him, "Well, I'm not aware there are egg limits" and it would probably end right there.
I just really like things out in the open. I guess you could say I'm pretty confrontational but I try to approach it with humor. Some might think it's passive aggressive too, but I don't like things unsaid.2 -
Odd things I found about weight loss. One is, I had to become more assertive to do it.
This isn’t a point in favor of speaking up. It’s a point in favor of doing what you think you need to do for you without feeling obliged to explain it to others.
I agree that you shouldn’t assume you know what he’s thinking. But what he thinks doesn’t count. I don’t agree that it matters if you’re “wasting” the yokes either. I frequently do the same thing you do. I’m not eating the yoke to suit someone else’s fancy. You don’t have to clean your plate.
Another thing I’ve found is the less I discuss my plan or even weight loss in general, the better off I am. We’re better off on message boards.
Do your plan. It’s nobody’s business but your own.
Some people really hate seeing food going to waste. To them seeing 6 yolks going to waste almost daily is too much. That's the only reason why I mentioned it as a possible reason. I personally don't care; I used to waste a lot of yolks myself when I ate eggs.1 -
When I was in school, I had a meal card and could eat all I wanted, there was no portion control or rules and restraints. It was open cafeteria. If that is the case with your meal plan, the guy or girl behind the counter is simply a worker and has no power over you or how much food you eat or waste.
You paid for your meal plan and if you eat six egg whites that is your business and you can't let some worker behind the counter intimidate you. Smile..get your eggs and keep moving.. he has to deal with it.
Part of losing weight is empowering yourself not only with food choices but claiming your space and self respect. Don't let random people dictate your day.0
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