Binge Eating Almost Ruined My Life

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crisa90
crisa90 Posts: 19 Member
edited December 2018 in Motivation and Support
dr1qq21aaykp.jpeg

Imagine you’ve just finished a binge of epic proportions and threw away the last piece of evidence in the trash and now you’re in bed crying wondering how you even got there.

That was my life for YEARS.

I used to binge in secret so that nobody ever knew I had a problem. I used to throw away Doritos bags and cookie packages in the garbage can all the way down the block so that nobody knew what I was up to.

And then I would cry myself to sleep.

I would pinch my rolls and love handles and curl up into a little ball and cry. And it wasn’t always about how I looked physically (although that was part of it) But I FELT like *kitten*. Everytime I would binge a little part of myself died and the insecurities got worse.

“How the hell did I get here?” I’d ask myself.

And then into the deep downward spiral I would go....

“Nobody will ever love me”

“Nobody will ever think I’m pretty”

“I’m so fat”

“I hate myself”

“I’m so disgusting”

Does any of this sound familiar???

Do you find yourself asking the same questions?

Don’t. Because this doesn’t have to be your life anymore.You just need a little push in the right direction to get there! There is a light at the end of that tunnel, I promise.

Getting someone to hold me accountable, having a STRATEGY, having a plan that *kitten* worked was all I needed to get my head on straight. You can do this too!

Comment below if you’ve overcome an eating disorder or are still fighting through it! You’ve got this!!

[Edited by MFP Staff]
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Replies

  • Bex953172
    Bex953172 Posts: 4,081 Member
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    I've not had an ED, but it's lovely to hear a positive story!
    You look amazing! Well done getting through it
    Can I ask how you got that butt lol?!
    Getting envious over here!
  • amyelizbeth
    amyelizbeth Posts: 58 Member
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    Ive fought against my binge eating habits for years and I'm glad to say I'm not as bad as I used to be when I was 16. I used to starve myself during the day and then binge eat at night when everyone in my house was asleep. It has taken me so long to try and get over these habits and not beat myself up over what happened.

    I'm so proud that you managed to get through it! You look amazing!
  • lisemonticelli06
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    You're so inspiring what you have donne ils Amazing!
    One question then, I struggle a lot with binge eating and I Always feel hangry no matter how Much water i drink or others tricks like that to the point that i Can when i don't have anything left tout eat, snack on raw pasta! Do you have any tips that could help me ?
    PS: you look amazing
  • crisa90
    crisa90 Posts: 19 Member
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    Ive fought against my binge eating habits for years and I'm glad to say I'm not as bad as I used to be when I was 16. I used to starve myself during the day and then binge eat at night when everyone in my house was asleep. It has taken me so long to try and get over these habits and not beat myself up over what happened.

    I'm so proud that you managed to get through it! You look amazing!

    Thank you so much for your sweet words. I can totally relate to the eating in private thing. I would never show anyone else what I was doing and would go out of my way to throw away my evidence in the garbage can down the street so nobody would know. It was painful and it was hard. I’m so happy you’re working through it because it is draining. it took me a total of 5 years to work through my ED but now it actually helps me feel more empathetic towards my clients. I’m able to help them more because I KNOW how it feels. I’m happy that my story was able to impact you in some way, thank you!

  • juststartedrunningagain
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    May I ask how you do your fasting regimen!?

    I’ve also been prone to bingeing - worsened by pmt, tiredness, exercise and breastfeeding (no longer doing the latter). I can binge on cereal - non sugared so have to be Uber careful. A helpful thread and thank you for sharing.
  • crisa90
    crisa90 Posts: 19 Member
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    May I ask how you do your fasting regimen!?

    I’ve also been prone to bingeing - worsened by pmt, tiredness, exercise and breastfeeding (no longer doing the latter). I can binge on cereal - non sugared so have to be Uber careful. A helpful thread and thank you for sharing.

    Yes! For me personally, I start eating at noon and stop eating at 8pm. During this time I choose high-quality Whole Foods and stick to a lot of protein. I eat normally, I stop when I’m full. But with intermittent fasting, you are encouraged to have a meal that is actually satisfying (not like a snack or small meal if you’re eating 6 times a day). This meal should be satisfying but still protein-high and healthy. But what ends up happening is you become so full that you end up eating less during the day since you have to stop eating at 8pm. I’d be happy to go into more detail if you’d like to message me privately :)
  • sardelsa
    sardelsa Posts: 9,812 Member
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    You look fantastic, congrats on your progress!

    In another thread you mentioned running bulk cycles, I am curious how you balanced gaining weight with a history of binge eating, I know many people are very hesitant to bulk because they are afraid of falling into old habits. How did you manage that?
  • charlie_fox
    charlie_fox Posts: 7 Member
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    crisa90 wrote: »
    dr1qq21aaykp.jpeg

    Imagine you’ve just finished a binge of epic proportions and threw away the last piece of evidence in the trash and now you’re in bed crying wondering how you even got there.

    That was my life for YEARS.

    I used to binge in secret so that nobody ever knew I had a problem. I used to throw away Doritos bags and cookie packages in the garbage can all the way down the block so that nobody knew what I was up to.

    And then I would cry myself to sleep.

    I would pinch my rolls and love handles and curl up into a little ball and cry. And it wasn’t always about how I looked physically (although that was part of it) But I FELT like *kitten*. Everytime I would binge a little part of myself died and the insecurities got worse.

    “How the hell did I get here?” I’d ask myself.

    And then into the deep downward spiral I would go....

    “Nobody will ever love me”

    “Nobody will ever think I’m pretty”

    “I’m so fat”

    “I hate myself”

    “I’m so disgusting”

    Does any of this sound familiar???

    Do you find yourself asking the same questions?

    Don’t. Because this doesn’t have to be your life anymore.You just need a little push in the right direction to get there! There is a light at the end of that tunnel, I promise.

    Getting someone to hold me accountable, having a STRATEGY, having a plan that *kitten* worked was all I needed to get my head on straight. You can do this too!

    Comment below if you’ve overcome an eating disorder or are still fighting through it! You’ve got this!!

    [Edited by MFP Staff]

    Hello and thank you for your inspiring post. I would like to know how you chose the actual person to hold you accountable and how that process worked. Thank you.
  • Silkysausage
    Silkysausage Posts: 502 Member
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    Oh ma gawd, you look amazing 😶😶 Well done, that lat to waist ratio is on point.
  • Bex953172
    Bex953172 Posts: 4,081 Member
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    crisa90 wrote: »
    Bex953172 wrote: »
    I've not had an ED, but it's lovely to hear a positive story!
    You look amazing! Well done getting through it
    Can I ask how you got that butt lol?!
    Getting envious over here!

    Hahahaha myfitnesspal blocked my booty out of the pic! Lol. Thank you, I did LOTSSSSS of heavy lifting and actually my legs and butt are the body parts that REFUSE to change! So I made it my life’s mission to train my lower body at least 3-4x a week with heavy squats and heavy leg press. The higher you put your legs on the leg press the more you work your booty and hamstrings- if your legs are lower on the machine the focus is more on your quads. Also! My all time favorite booty-building exercise is the hip thrust with a barbell on your hips. It really works the butt and as you get stronger you can start adding more weight! Let me know if this was helpful :)

    Yeah definitely helpful haha and I know I can't believe they blocked it haha

    That definitely helps. I'll have to keep it mind for when I can afford a gym though!
  • crisa90
    crisa90 Posts: 19 Member
    edited December 2018
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    [/quote]
    Hello and thank you for your inspiring post. I would like to know how you chose the actual person to hold you accountable and how that process worked. Thank you.

    Hey! It’s really about if you feel that person is hearing what you have to say, listening and guiding you through it. My very good friend worked as a personal trainer at a gym I used to work at and he was my mentor when I started training. He had a way of knowing everything that I needed and really understood me and pushed me. I’ve also met some of my greatest mentors through social media! But the biggest factor in my opinion is trust! You’ve gotta feel connected to their story and just know in your gut that they can help you.
  • crisa90
    crisa90 Posts: 19 Member
    Options
    sardelsa wrote: »
    You look fantastic, congrats on your progress!

    In another thread you mentioned running bulk cycles, I am curious how you balanced gaining weight with a history of binge eating, I know many people are very hesitant to bulk because they are afraid of falling into old habits. How did you manage that?

    Thank you!! It was suuuuuuuuper scary to be honest!! But I had my sights on training for a bodybuilding competition and my mentor— the person who got me out of this funk— told me I needed to gain more muscle. Since I was under his guidance, I trusted that he knew best. And don’t get me wrong, it was NO easy feat! I cried a lot. I had meltdowns during our training sessions together but I ended up reaching my physical goal. I wouldn’t have been able to do it myself though. I needed that extra hand-holding especially with my history.
  • crisa90
    crisa90 Posts: 19 Member
    Options
    Oh ma gawd, you look amazing 😶😶 Well done, that lat to waist ratio is on point.

    Thank you thank you thank youuuu!!!
  • charlie_fox
    charlie_fox Posts: 7 Member
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    "...the biggest factor in my opinion is trust! You’ve gotta feel connected to their story and just know in your gut that they can help you."

    Thank you! Very good advice.
  • ED_ant316
    ED_ant316 Posts: 3 Member
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    Im going through this right now. Working on recovery from BED. I hate it.thanks for the inspiring post!
  • George8383
    George8383 Posts: 69 Member
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    I'm in bulimia recovery finding it really difficult to get back on track lost all mojo no interest in nothing reading your story made me think it can be done and it's all down to me nobody else. I just need to kick myself in the backside and do it.
  • PAFC84
    PAFC84 Posts: 1,871 Member
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    Bring back the booty!!!! Darn you MFP.
  • Wingsont84
    Wingsont84 Posts: 335 Member
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    As if they block a solid foundation, this app needs to chill out on the policing.