Binge Eating Almost Ruined My Life
crisa90
Posts: 19 Member
Imagine you’ve just finished a binge of epic proportions and threw away the last piece of evidence in the trash and now you’re in bed crying wondering how you even got there.
That was my life for YEARS.
I used to binge in secret so that nobody ever knew I had a problem. I used to throw away Doritos bags and cookie packages in the garbage can all the way down the block so that nobody knew what I was up to.
And then I would cry myself to sleep.
I would pinch my rolls and love handles and curl up into a little ball and cry. And it wasn’t always about how I looked physically (although that was part of it) But I FELT like *kitten*. Everytime I would binge a little part of myself died and the insecurities got worse.
“How the hell did I get here?” I’d ask myself.
And then into the deep downward spiral I would go....
“Nobody will ever love me”
“Nobody will ever think I’m pretty”
“I’m so fat”
“I hate myself”
“I’m so disgusting”
Does any of this sound familiar???
Do you find yourself asking the same questions?
Don’t. Because this doesn’t have to be your life anymore.You just need a little push in the right direction to get there! There is a light at the end of that tunnel, I promise.
Getting someone to hold me accountable, having a STRATEGY, having a plan that *kitten* worked was all I needed to get my head on straight. You can do this too!
Comment below if you’ve overcome an eating disorder or are still fighting through it! You’ve got this!!
[Edited by MFP Staff]
27
Replies
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I've not had an ED, but it's lovely to hear a positive story!
You look amazing! Well done getting through it
Can I ask how you got that butt lol?!
Getting envious over here!2 -
Ive fought against my binge eating habits for years and I'm glad to say I'm not as bad as I used to be when I was 16. I used to starve myself during the day and then binge eat at night when everyone in my house was asleep. It has taken me so long to try and get over these habits and not beat myself up over what happened.
I'm so proud that you managed to get through it! You look amazing!3 -
You're so inspiring what you have donne ils Amazing!
One question then, I struggle a lot with binge eating and I Always feel hangry no matter how Much water i drink or others tricks like that to the point that i Can when i don't have anything left tout eat, snack on raw pasta! Do you have any tips that could help me ?
PS: you look amazing3 -
I've not had an ED, but it's lovely to hear a positive story!
You look amazing! Well done getting through it
Can I ask how you got that butt lol?!
Getting envious over here!
Hahahaha myfitnesspal blocked my booty out of the pic! Lol. Thank you, I did LOTSSSSS of heavy lifting and actually my legs and butt are the body parts that REFUSE to change! So I made it my life’s mission to train my lower body at least 3-4x a week with heavy squats and heavy leg press. The higher you put your legs on the leg press the more you work your booty and hamstrings- if your legs are lower on the machine the focus is more on your quads. Also! My all time favorite booty-building exercise is the hip thrust with a barbell on your hips. It really works the butt and as you get stronger you can start adding more weight! Let me know if this was helpful
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lisemonticelli06 wrote: »You're so inspiring what you have donne ils Amazing!
One question then, I struggle a lot with binge eating and I Always feel hangry no matter how Much water i drink or others tricks like that to the point that i Can when i don't have anything left tout eat, snack on raw pasta! Do you have any tips that could help me ?
PS: you look amazing
You are so kind! Thank you! When I started healing- the thing that honestly helped me the most was filling up on protein. Any time I felt hungry it was protein first, then everything else followed. What I used to do was binge on sugary carby things like cupcakes and cookies. And as we all know, it’s SO easy to eat all of those because it’s just basically sugar. So when I started making a deal with myself that I would have protein with every meal. What this does is keep your blood sugar from spiking as high and therefore making it less likely to binge on a bunch of stuff because you’ll get fuller faster. I also have started not cutting out entire food groups and labeling things as “bad.” Now I follow an intermittent fasting regimen and I eat whatever I want (still making sure most of it is healthy) but staying within my allotted macros for the day. When I restricted myself from certain things was when I would binge on that “off-limits” thing.8 -
amyelizbeth wrote: »Ive fought against my binge eating habits for years and I'm glad to say I'm not as bad as I used to be when I was 16. I used to starve myself during the day and then binge eat at night when everyone in my house was asleep. It has taken me so long to try and get over these habits and not beat myself up over what happened.
I'm so proud that you managed to get through it! You look amazing!
Thank you so much for your sweet words. I can totally relate to the eating in private thing. I would never show anyone else what I was doing and would go out of my way to throw away my evidence in the garbage can down the street so nobody would know. It was painful and it was hard. I’m so happy you’re working through it because it is draining. it took me a total of 5 years to work through my ED but now it actually helps me feel more empathetic towards my clients. I’m able to help them more because I KNOW how it feels. I’m happy that my story was able to impact you in some way, thank you!
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May I ask how you do your fasting regimen!?
I’ve also been prone to bingeing - worsened by pmt, tiredness, exercise and breastfeeding (no longer doing the latter). I can binge on cereal - non sugared so have to be Uber careful. A helpful thread and thank you for sharing.1 -
juststartedrunningagain wrote: »May I ask how you do your fasting regimen!?
I’ve also been prone to bingeing - worsened by pmt, tiredness, exercise and breastfeeding (no longer doing the latter). I can binge on cereal - non sugared so have to be Uber careful. A helpful thread and thank you for sharing.
Yes! For me personally, I start eating at noon and stop eating at 8pm. During this time I choose high-quality Whole Foods and stick to a lot of protein. I eat normally, I stop when I’m full. But with intermittent fasting, you are encouraged to have a meal that is actually satisfying (not like a snack or small meal if you’re eating 6 times a day). This meal should be satisfying but still protein-high and healthy. But what ends up happening is you become so full that you end up eating less during the day since you have to stop eating at 8pm. I’d be happy to go into more detail if you’d like to message me privately
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You look fantastic, congrats on your progress!
In another thread you mentioned running bulk cycles, I am curious how you balanced gaining weight with a history of binge eating, I know many people are very hesitant to bulk because they are afraid of falling into old habits. How did you manage that?2 -
Imagine you’ve just finished a binge of epic proportions and threw away the last piece of evidence in the trash and now you’re in bed crying wondering how you even got there.
That was my life for YEARS.
I used to binge in secret so that nobody ever knew I had a problem. I used to throw away Doritos bags and cookie packages in the garbage can all the way down the block so that nobody knew what I was up to.
And then I would cry myself to sleep.
I would pinch my rolls and love handles and curl up into a little ball and cry. And it wasn’t always about how I looked physically (although that was part of it) But I FELT like *kitten*. Everytime I would binge a little part of myself died and the insecurities got worse.
“How the hell did I get here?” I’d ask myself.
And then into the deep downward spiral I would go....
“Nobody will ever love me”
“Nobody will ever think I’m pretty”
“I’m so fat”
“I hate myself”
“I’m so disgusting”
Does any of this sound familiar???
Do you find yourself asking the same questions?
Don’t. Because this doesn’t have to be your life anymore.You just need a little push in the right direction to get there! There is a light at the end of that tunnel, I promise.
Getting someone to hold me accountable, having a STRATEGY, having a plan that *kitten* worked was all I needed to get my head on straight. You can do this too!
Comment below if you’ve overcome an eating disorder or are still fighting through it! You’ve got this!!
[Edited by MFP Staff]
Hello and thank you for your inspiring post. I would like to know how you chose the actual person to hold you accountable and how that process worked. Thank you.0 -
Oh ma gawd, you look amazing 😶😶 Well done, that lat to waist ratio is on point.1
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I've not had an ED, but it's lovely to hear a positive story!
You look amazing! Well done getting through it
Can I ask how you got that butt lol?!
Getting envious over here!
Hahahaha myfitnesspal blocked my booty out of the pic! Lol. Thank you, I did LOTSSSSS of heavy lifting and actually my legs and butt are the body parts that REFUSE to change! So I made it my life’s mission to train my lower body at least 3-4x a week with heavy squats and heavy leg press. The higher you put your legs on the leg press the more you work your booty and hamstrings- if your legs are lower on the machine the focus is more on your quads. Also! My all time favorite booty-building exercise is the hip thrust with a barbell on your hips. It really works the butt and as you get stronger you can start adding more weight! Let me know if this was helpful
Yeah definitely helpful haha and I know I can't believe they blocked it haha
That definitely helps. I'll have to keep it mind for when I can afford a gym though!1 -
[/quote]charlie_fox wrote: »Hello and thank you for your inspiring post. I would like to know how you chose the actual person to hold you accountable and how that process worked. Thank you.
Hey! It’s really about if you feel that person is hearing what you have to say, listening and guiding you through it. My very good friend worked as a personal trainer at a gym I used to work at and he was my mentor when I started training. He had a way of knowing everything that I needed and really understood me and pushed me. I’ve also met some of my greatest mentors through social media! But the biggest factor in my opinion is trust! You’ve gotta feel connected to their story and just know in your gut that they can help you.1 -
You look fantastic, congrats on your progress!
In another thread you mentioned running bulk cycles, I am curious how you balanced gaining weight with a history of binge eating, I know many people are very hesitant to bulk because they are afraid of falling into old habits. How did you manage that?
Thank you!! It was suuuuuuuuper scary to be honest!! But I had my sights on training for a bodybuilding competition and my mentor— the person who got me out of this funk— told me I needed to gain more muscle. Since I was under his guidance, I trusted that he knew best. And don’t get me wrong, it was NO easy feat! I cried a lot. I had meltdowns during our training sessions together but I ended up reaching my physical goal. I wouldn’t have been able to do it myself though. I needed that extra hand-holding especially with my history.1 -
Silkysausage wrote: »Oh ma gawd, you look amazing 😶😶 Well done, that lat to waist ratio is on point.
Thank you thank you thank youuuu!!!1 -
"...the biggest factor in my opinion is trust! You’ve gotta feel connected to their story and just know in your gut that they can help you."
Thank you! Very good advice.0 -
Im going through this right now. Working on recovery from BED. I hate it.thanks for the inspiring post!1
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I'm in bulimia recovery finding it really difficult to get back on track lost all mojo no interest in nothing reading your story made me think it can be done and it's all down to me nobody else. I just need to kick myself in the backside and do it.
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Bring back the booty!!!! Darn you MFP.0
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As if they block a solid foundation, this app needs to chill out on the policing.0
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I deal with binge eating constantly. I'll do really good for days then have an episode. I think it's because I restrict myself from certain food and then binge on it. You made the comment you don't restrict yourself from certain food or label it bad. I so needed to read that. Thank you! You look amazing!0
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Hello! Commenting because I have suffered from binge eating for YEARS as well. I am currently in recovery and working towards getting to a healthy weight. I see my counselor and psychiatrist regularly and I am trying to be conscious of not labeling anything good or bad. I am excited to finally turn the corner on this thing for good. Are you open to new friends? If so, please accept my friend request. Congratulations and good job. Thanks for the inspiration!0
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I still struggle to not binge eat sweets and snack foods. I also will hide the garbage so no one knows. Gummy bears, sugar cereal, chips, donuts etc. I try to turn to fruit when I crave junk foods. I always tell myself if I dont buy it I cant eat it. I did that today, there was a giant bag of gummy bears at the store and insisted buying them. Little wins like that are nice.1
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Hi! I would love to know how you calculated your macros/how you started to lose the weight0
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As someone who has "been there, done that", I speak from experience that upping the protein intake during the day curbs binges completely. Turns out I'm not getting enough protein, not hitting that goal. When I eat adequate protein, problem goes away.2
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Thank you for this! Still kind of dealing with it at the moment and its getting hard. Im doing better at not actually allowing myself to get so far as eating things, but the negative thoughts are all there and im pretty horrible to myself about even wanting a binge.0
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Inspiring story!
I would add that having an external accountability source is a luxury that you were fortunate to have. Self-accountability is the only one that you can rely upon consistently.1
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