SO MEAN

I agree that was mean. My husband sometimes will say those things to me. I've battled with loosing and gaining, so I know why my husband thinks that. Just hold your head up and prove him wrong!

Aww. Unless your fiance is a total jerk (which I'm sure he's not since he's your fiance!), I'd give him a pass on this one. Men tend to have no idea how deeply women feel about weight loss, body image, etc. Even men who are also trying to lose weight may not fully understand us! And for him, especially if he's tall, 130 may actually be an impossible number for him to imagine weighing. He really probably doesn't realize that 130 is a totally attainable weight for you! So stick with it, let him gravel and get yourself a date night out of this little screw up. He'll learn!

guys can be jerks. my husband of 20 years wants nothing to do with me(if u know what i mean) because he is not attracted to me because i am fat. i had gastric bypass last week and all he says is no one told me to. what an a--. he is leaving for a year and i am going to loose all my weight while he is gone, maybe i wont want him when he gets back

Believe me we all say things that are taken the wrong way. Once my hubby called me a marshmallow because I was "pale and soft" it made me cry at the time but it was his way of saying he liked me just the way I was...lmfao! There will be a lot of times things are said that will hurt yours or his feelings and that's a part of being human. We have a mouth and sometimes it works before our brain even thinks of what we're saying. I'm sure he didn't mean it so don't let it ruin your day!

Guys really need to think before they speak. ((hugs))

It was mean, but it sounds as though your reaction and his reaction thereafter has made him realize how callous his comment was. We've all had "put foot in mouth" moments.

wow. well, we all say things sometimes before we actually think about it. i believe hes sorry. forgive him and enjoy the rest of your day together. oh and make him take you somewhere NICE!:bigsmile:

boys are stupid.

this...... so much this....

Look, I am sure he did not mean it the way it sounded. I think we all can say things without thinking how they are going to affect the other person and yet we don’t mean to hurt feelings. Because everyone has different life experiences, we don’t always interpret things the same. At least he tried to make it better, I am assuming he is your fiancé for a reason and he did not mean to hurt your feelings and after he said it he cared enough to try to make it better. Wow, it sounds like you have an amazing guy, he did not close off and walk away, he was pleading with you to not be mad and that he did not mean it like it came out. I know it hurt your feelings and these feelings are valid you have every right to how you feel; but truly, give him a break he obviously loves you very much. Think about how lucky you are to have someone that cares so much for your feelings that they are upset when they hurt you. I hope you have a great day and forgive him it is good for the soul.

guys can be jerks. my husband of 20 years wants nothing to do with me(if u know what i mean) because he is not attracted to me because i am fat. i had gastric bypass last week and all he says is no one told me to. what an a--. he is leaving for a year and i am going to loose all my weight while he is gone, maybe i wont want him when he gets back

Omg! **** your husband! Your damn right! Once he leaves...to hell with him. The nerve of him to actually tell you that! Omg! I wish mines would! I'd punch him in his *kitten*. This is crazy! You can only be beautiful for who you are! Inside in out. Anyone that doesn't like it ...to hell with them! I'm sure it may hurt, I can only imagine. All that should make you stronger! When you get back sexy gurl!! GEt you a new man...How he going to say that like he flawless? He probably smells like spoiled milk, and car oil anyways.

You should explain to him that when he says things like that it hurts your feelings and undermines your efforts. Men don't usually understand how much women weigh. Weight sits on our bodies differently than men. But also, forgive him after you've calmly explained how that makes you feel. People, not just men, say cruel thoughtless things when they're pouting and not getting their way. Part of being married or learning to be married is learning to deal with situations like that. My husband is occasionally thoughtless but not because he wants to hurt me. It's because he's only thinking of himself. Chances are that he really had his heart set on going to that diner.

I recently had a friend make sarcastic comments about my weight loss efforts. I hadn't seen him in months and he came waltzing in our house the other day making sarcastic comments about how good I looked and how my double chin was gone (I've never had a double chin). It really hurt my feelings because he was someone I admired when it came to fitness. So just last night he was over visitng and he made a sarcastic comment AGAIN and so I said, "Thanks, I'm glad you're proud that I've lost 25 pounds." That sort of stunned him and stopped him in his tracks. And then he stopped making jokes and said, "25 pounds? Good job." and dropped the subject.

OK, I'm a guy and I have a mean streak to me. I can honestly say that I have said things like that in the past and meant them. I also have said things like that either looking for a fight or looking for a reaction. Then I've said some unintentional incredibly stupid things as well. Only you and he know what his true meaning was but if he was so quick to backtrack, he was probably just looking for a reaction and is now doing damage control. If he really meant it there would most likely be additional comments about your efforts. The best thing you can do is proove him wrong. Also, when people say "I could kill him" or "we're never going to get there", they don't really mean it do they?

<---bows down

Thank you for your honest and frank response. I for one appreciate it. I swear some fights would not have gone on if he just said "I was trying to be mean, sorry"