Seeing a registered dietician?
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deannalfisher wrote: »here is a rough estimate: https://tdeecalculator.net/result.php?s=imperial&age=30&g=female&lbs=160&in=66&act=1.55&bf=&f=1
maintenance - 2267cal
to lose a lb a week - 1700ish cal
This. Deficit should come off your TDEE, not your BMR. BMR is what you would burn in a coma. And with 20-25 lbs to lose, you should be aiming for no more than 1 lb per week, or a 500 cal deficit. 2 lbs per week is only realistic and advisable for obese folks.deannalfisher wrote: »here is a rough estimate: https://tdeecalculator.net/result.php?s=imperial&age=30&g=female&lbs=160&in=66&act=1.55&bf=&f=1
maintenance - 2267cal
to lose a lb a week - 1700ish cal
This. Deficit should come off your TDEE, not your BMR. BMR is what you would burn in a coma. And with 20-25 lbs to lose, you should be aiming for no more than 1 lb per week, or a 500 cal deficit. 2 lbs per week is only realistic and advisable for obese folks.
That’ll mean I won’t be at my goal for a minimum of 5 months, which seems so long :-/ I feel so gross right now and I’m tired of being judged
So I obviously don't know this for a fact, but I'd bet the person doing most of the judging is you. If you're talking about your husband, you really need to let him know he is making you feel judged, and perhaps he needs to participate in your doctor visits. You haven't answered the question in your other threads, but if he doesn't know your history, he should. And if he does know your history, he needs to be aware of the dangers of pushing you, and should be ashamed of himself if he's doing it knowingly.
Five months is not a long time. Please believe us, so much of this is you putting unnecessary pressure on you, which is why we are pushing for you to make an appointment. Hang in there!11 -
deannalfisher wrote: »here is a rough estimate: https://tdeecalculator.net/result.php?s=imperial&age=30&g=female&lbs=160&in=66&act=1.55&bf=&f=1
maintenance - 2267cal
to lose a lb a week - 1700ish cal
This. Deficit should come off your TDEE, not your BMR. BMR is what you would burn in a coma. And with 20-25 lbs to lose, you should be aiming for no more than 1 lb per week, or a 500 cal deficit. 2 lbs per week is only realistic and advisable for obese folks.deannalfisher wrote: »here is a rough estimate: https://tdeecalculator.net/result.php?s=imperial&age=30&g=female&lbs=160&in=66&act=1.55&bf=&f=1
maintenance - 2267cal
to lose a lb a week - 1700ish cal
This. Deficit should come off your TDEE, not your BMR. BMR is what you would burn in a coma. And with 20-25 lbs to lose, you should be aiming for no more than 1 lb per week, or a 500 cal deficit. 2 lbs per week is only realistic and advisable for obese folks.
That’ll mean I won’t be at my goal for a minimum of 5 months, which seems so long :-/ I feel so gross right now and I’m tired of being judged
IMO, you need to work on the mental part more so than the dietary part.
I’d love to snap out of it, but the fact that I’m “overweight” really bothers me. I want to get out of this state ASAP and then maybe I’ll be gentler in myself
In my experience, that's not the way it works. You like yourself first, then work on the rest of it. Not work on the rest of it so you can/will eventually like yourself.
Also in my experience, it's not a "snap out of it" process - it's a long process that involves a lot of self-reflections, trial and error, failure, success, growing pains, etc.
I say all that making a lot of assumptions about you based on some similarities I've seen with myself... so take it for what it's worth.18 -
I’ve been struggling with some obsessive thoughts around food/exercise (currently eating 1200 calories a day, working out 3-4 times a week). I’ve decided it’s time to see a dietician to help me because I’m just struggling and my weight loss has stalled out which I’m not happy about. I understand they’re the expert but I’m so worried she’ll have me on a plan I actually gain on. I feel like my body needs a serious deficit to lose (even under 1200, seeing as I’m stalled out). I’m just wary about trusting her. Or it might be the whole “trust your body, eat when you’re hungry, stop when you’re full” thing and not even a real meal plan which is what got me in this mess to begin with. It’s just so hard for me to find a middle ground. Has anyone sought the help of a registered dietician, and were they helpful? I’m having a hard time with it but I’ve been pretty miserable lately and so think I need some help. I just feel like I can’t trust anyone anymore, especially my own body which is a really sad and lonely feeling. All my progress and goals are being hindered by me feeling inadequate and like I need to do so much more to never be fat again.
A Registered Dietician can be very helpful if you are struggling with knowing what to eat and I would highly recommend scheduling a consultation.
Your issues seem to lean more towards finding a psychotherapist who specializes in food related issues. Disordered thoughts around food isn't necessarily the big ED's like anorexia, binge eating, etc., it can also take the form of fear of food or anxiety about knowing what to eat.
A 2 pronged approach sounds like something you should consider. See a therapist to get over your fears and see a RD to get more practical advise. Therapists who specialize in food issues often have RD's they work with or at least recommend so that is where I would start.4 -
deannalfisher wrote: »here is a rough estimate: https://tdeecalculator.net/result.php?s=imperial&age=30&g=female&lbs=160&in=66&act=1.55&bf=&f=1
maintenance - 2267cal
to lose a lb a week - 1700ish cal
This. Deficit should come off your TDEE, not your BMR. BMR is what you would burn in a coma. And with 20-25 lbs to lose, you should be aiming for no more than 1 lb per week, or a 500 cal deficit. 2 lbs per week is only realistic and advisable for obese folks.deannalfisher wrote: »here is a rough estimate: https://tdeecalculator.net/result.php?s=imperial&age=30&g=female&lbs=160&in=66&act=1.55&bf=&f=1
maintenance - 2267cal
to lose a lb a week - 1700ish cal
This. Deficit should come off your TDEE, not your BMR. BMR is what you would burn in a coma. And with 20-25 lbs to lose, you should be aiming for no more than 1 lb per week, or a 500 cal deficit. 2 lbs per week is only realistic and advisable for obese folks.
That’ll mean I won’t be at my goal for a minimum of 5 months, which seems so long :-/ I feel so gross right now and I’m tired of being judged
So I obviously don't know this for a fact, but I'd bet the person doing most of the judging is you. If you're talking about your husband, you really need to let him know he is making you feel judged, and perhaps he needs to participate in your doctor visits. You haven't answered the question in your other threads, but if he doesn't know your history, he should. And if he does know your history, he needs to be aware of the dangers of pushing you, and should be ashamed of himself if he's doing it knowingly.
Five months is not a long time. Please believe us, so much of this is you putting unnecessary pressure on you, which is why we are pushing for you to make an appointment. Hang in there!
He told me yesterday he’s going to get skinny (to lower his resting heart rate) and has been doing burpees a lot in the apartment. He’s starting at 150 pounds, and is 5’9”. It’s bothering me thinking how slim he’s going to get and I’ll be the same old me.
Someone who is 5' 9" and 150lbs and saying they are going to "get skinny" probably isn't a good person to follow. Sounds like they have some problems of their own.9 -
Why does working on yourself at a slower, healthy pace="staying the same old you"?
Sad fact: On average, it is easier for men to lose weight than women. From https://www.livescience.com/63324-men-women-weight-loss-difference.html:Men, thanks to their body composition, have more muscle and a higher metabolic rate than women, Lowden said...
Men typically have more weight in their midsection, known as visceral fat, which surrounds the internal organs, Lowden said. When peoplelose visceral fat, it improves their metabolic rate, helping them to burn more calories, she explained.
Women, on the other hand, typically have more subcutaneous fat, which is fat around their thighs, rear and hips that is important for childbearing, Lowden said. When people lose subcutaneous fat, this does not improve their metabolic risk factors, because this type of fat is not metabolically active, she explained.
Indeed, in the study, the researchers pointed to previous research that has suggested that the differences in metabolic outcomes observed in men and women who follow the same diet could be because men may mobilize more fat from their abdomens during weight loss, while women may lose more subcutaneous fat.
This isn't a race to see who can take the pounds off fastest. It's a steady progression to get down to a healthy weight. There is nothing wrong with doing so at a pace your body can handle safely.10 -
deannalfisher wrote: »here is a rough estimate: https://tdeecalculator.net/result.php?s=imperial&age=30&g=female&lbs=160&in=66&act=1.55&bf=&f=1
maintenance - 2267cal
to lose a lb a week - 1700ish cal
So to lose 2 lbs a week, I’d be at 1200 calories
And that's not an appropriate rate of loss at your current weight and goals.
Strive for 1 instead.
Weigh and track your food. I find it very hard to believe that you're not losing at 1200 -- and I suspect the reality is either that you *are* losing, but not what you want (considering that you'd previously posted about super early aggressive losses), or that you're eating more than you think.
See a dietitian to get manageable goals and expectations.
Talk to your therapist and PCP about what you're feeling and doing, and what your goals are. I think you know that aiming for the bottom of the range isn't going to make you happy, and it's not going to give you any insurance.
You've said before that you want to be back at the body you had when you were in an active eating disorder -- you may have been weight restored at that point, but with <1000 calories a day and intense cardio at that body, you certainly weren't recovered.
Overshoot is common and normal and natural when recovering from anorexia. Now you need help finding what a healthy body looks like.
You need professional help.7 -
deannalfisher wrote: »here is a rough estimate: https://tdeecalculator.net/result.php?s=imperial&age=30&g=female&lbs=160&in=66&act=1.55&bf=&f=1
maintenance - 2267cal
to lose a lb a week - 1700ish cal
This. Deficit should come off your TDEE, not your BMR. BMR is what you would burn in a coma. And with 20-25 lbs to lose, you should be aiming for no more than 1 lb per week, or a 500 cal deficit. 2 lbs per week is only realistic and advisable for obese folks.deannalfisher wrote: »here is a rough estimate: https://tdeecalculator.net/result.php?s=imperial&age=30&g=female&lbs=160&in=66&act=1.55&bf=&f=1
maintenance - 2267cal
to lose a lb a week - 1700ish cal
This. Deficit should come off your TDEE, not your BMR. BMR is what you would burn in a coma. And with 20-25 lbs to lose, you should be aiming for no more than 1 lb per week, or a 500 cal deficit. 2 lbs per week is only realistic and advisable for obese folks.
That’ll mean I won’t be at my goal for a minimum of 5 months, which seems so long :-/ I feel so gross right now and I’m tired of being judged
IMO, you need to work on the mental part more so than the dietary part.
I’d love to snap out of it, but the fact that I’m “overweight” really bothers me. I want to get out of this state ASAP and then maybe I’ll be gentler in myself
You know as well as I do that you're not going to be any happier when you're not overweight.
Were you actually legitimately happy and healthy at your lowest weight?7 -
deannalfisher wrote: »here is a rough estimate: https://tdeecalculator.net/result.php?s=imperial&age=30&g=female&lbs=160&in=66&act=1.55&bf=&f=1
maintenance - 2267cal
to lose a lb a week - 1700ish cal
This. Deficit should come off your TDEE, not your BMR. BMR is what you would burn in a coma. And with 20-25 lbs to lose, you should be aiming for no more than 1 lb per week, or a 500 cal deficit. 2 lbs per week is only realistic and advisable for obese folks.deannalfisher wrote: »here is a rough estimate: https://tdeecalculator.net/result.php?s=imperial&age=30&g=female&lbs=160&in=66&act=1.55&bf=&f=1
maintenance - 2267cal
to lose a lb a week - 1700ish cal
This. Deficit should come off your TDEE, not your BMR. BMR is what you would burn in a coma. And with 20-25 lbs to lose, you should be aiming for no more than 1 lb per week, or a 500 cal deficit. 2 lbs per week is only realistic and advisable for obese folks.
That’ll mean I won’t be at my goal for a minimum of 5 months, which seems so long :-/ I feel so gross right now and I’m tired of being judged
So I obviously don't know this for a fact, but I'd bet the person doing most of the judging is you. If you're talking about your husband, you really need to let him know he is making you feel judged, and perhaps he needs to participate in your doctor visits. You haven't answered the question in your other threads, but if he doesn't know your history, he should. And if he does know your history, he needs to be aware of the dangers of pushing you, and should be ashamed of himself if he's doing it knowingly.
Five months is not a long time. Please believe us, so much of this is you putting unnecessary pressure on you, which is why we are pushing for you to make an appointment. Hang in there!
He told me yesterday he’s going to get skinny (to lower his resting heart rate) and has been doing burpees a lot in the apartment. He’s starting at 150 pounds, and is 5’9”. It’s bothering me thinking how slim he’s going to get and I’ll be the same old me.
Someone who is 5' 9" and 150lbs and saying they are going to "get skinny" probably isn't a good person to follow. Sounds like they have some problems of their own.
Seriously. *Especially* if he knows his wife's history with an eating disorder.
That's as bad as my father, who told me -- someone working on recovery from a restrictive eating disorder -- that it felt good to skip meals. (My therapist's response? "What the *kitten* is wrong with him?!")
Just because we have an influence in our lives doesn't make them a good influence.13 -
I hope you reach out and get the help for understanding why you feel the way you do about yourself. Because it does sound as it is a bit more involved that just pure weight. And only you can decide what is a good weight for you, not your husband. Do not let him shame you into losing more weight by comparing you or judging you. Control comes in many forms and often it comes disguised in people who say they love us, and only want what is best for us.
A food scale is a great way to know exactly how much food we are getting more so than measuring cups.3 -
deannalfisher wrote: »here is a rough estimate: https://tdeecalculator.net/result.php?s=imperial&age=30&g=female&lbs=160&in=66&act=1.55&bf=&f=1
maintenance - 2267cal
to lose a lb a week - 1700ish cal
This. Deficit should come off your TDEE, not your BMR. BMR is what you would burn in a coma. And with 20-25 lbs to lose, you should be aiming for no more than 1 lb per week, or a 500 cal deficit. 2 lbs per week is only realistic and advisable for obese folks.deannalfisher wrote: »here is a rough estimate: https://tdeecalculator.net/result.php?s=imperial&age=30&g=female&lbs=160&in=66&act=1.55&bf=&f=1
maintenance - 2267cal
to lose a lb a week - 1700ish cal
This. Deficit should come off your TDEE, not your BMR. BMR is what you would burn in a coma. And with 20-25 lbs to lose, you should be aiming for no more than 1 lb per week, or a 500 cal deficit. 2 lbs per week is only realistic and advisable for obese folks.
That’ll mean I won’t be at my goal for a minimum of 5 months, which seems so long :-/ I feel so gross right now and I’m tired of being judged
IMO, you need to work on the mental part more so than the dietary part.
I’d love to snap out of it, but the fact that I’m “overweight” really bothers me. I want to get out of this state ASAP and then maybe I’ll be gentler in myself
The thing is, there isn't really a "before and after" state like the one you are theorizing. If you aren't kind to yourself now, it isn't like a switch is going to flip in your head when you reach your goal weight. You'll be the same person, just a smaller person. The stuff that keeps you from being kind and gentle to yourself today is still going to be there, you'll just be wearing smaller clothes.11 -
deannalfisher wrote: »here is a rough estimate: https://tdeecalculator.net/result.php?s=imperial&age=30&g=female&lbs=160&in=66&act=1.55&bf=&f=1
maintenance - 2267cal
to lose a lb a week - 1700ish cal
This. Deficit should come off your TDEE, not your BMR. BMR is what you would burn in a coma. And with 20-25 lbs to lose, you should be aiming for no more than 1 lb per week, or a 500 cal deficit. 2 lbs per week is only realistic and advisable for obese folks.deannalfisher wrote: »here is a rough estimate: https://tdeecalculator.net/result.php?s=imperial&age=30&g=female&lbs=160&in=66&act=1.55&bf=&f=1
maintenance - 2267cal
to lose a lb a week - 1700ish cal
This. Deficit should come off your TDEE, not your BMR. BMR is what you would burn in a coma. And with 20-25 lbs to lose, you should be aiming for no more than 1 lb per week, or a 500 cal deficit. 2 lbs per week is only realistic and advisable for obese folks.
That’ll mean I won’t be at my goal for a minimum of 5 months, which seems so long :-/ I feel so gross right now and I’m tired of being judged
And the bolded is more the core of the problem. Frankly, your current weight is not unusual in the world today. I'm around your height, and my friends started fussing about how much weight I'd lost when I reached somewhere around your current weight. It's unlikely that anyone else is judging you, let alone judging you more harshly than you're judging yourself . . . unless you have hyper-critical or controlling people around you . . . which, from your other threads, I'm wondering about.
I'd second the desirability of a therapist in the mix. A registered dietician can be helpful with fine-tuning your nutrition and calorie level, but only if you are in a state of mind where you can listen, believe, and follow the guidance offered. . . and do so even if a temporary scale jump results.
People here have given you good, sensible advice, and you're not able to take it on board and follow it. Will the dietician's advice be easier to take on board because of his/her expertise?deannalfisher wrote: »here is a rough estimate: https://tdeecalculator.net/result.php?s=imperial&age=30&g=female&lbs=160&in=66&act=1.55&bf=&f=1
maintenance - 2267cal
to lose a lb a week - 1700ish cal
This. Deficit should come off your TDEE, not your BMR. BMR is what you would burn in a coma. And with 20-25 lbs to lose, you should be aiming for no more than 1 lb per week, or a 500 cal deficit. 2 lbs per week is only realistic and advisable for obese folks.deannalfisher wrote: »here is a rough estimate: https://tdeecalculator.net/result.php?s=imperial&age=30&g=female&lbs=160&in=66&act=1.55&bf=&f=1
maintenance - 2267cal
to lose a lb a week - 1700ish cal
This. Deficit should come off your TDEE, not your BMR. BMR is what you would burn in a coma. And with 20-25 lbs to lose, you should be aiming for no more than 1 lb per week, or a 500 cal deficit. 2 lbs per week is only realistic and advisable for obese folks.
That’ll mean I won’t be at my goal for a minimum of 5 months, which seems so long :-/ I feel so gross right now and I’m tired of being judged
IMO, you need to work on the mental part more so than the dietary part.
I’d love to snap out of it, but the fact that I’m “overweight” really bothers me. I want to get out of this state ASAP and then maybe I’ll be gentler in myself
It's not uncommon to think that losing weight will somehow change everything. If someone is morbidly obese and physically unable to function in the world - which you aren't - then it can have a pretty big effect on life quality just because daily life gets easier in a practical sense. Losing 20 pounds won't have a big effect on how you feel about yourself, unfortunately.
What you're saying here amounts to "I'm not finding myself lovable now, but I'll be lovable to myself when I'm at the bottom of my normal BMI range" (which you mentioned you think is insurance against regain). I'm very sorry, but weight loss doesn't have that effect.
Right now, you're at too low a calorie level for the amount you have to lose. Your psychological stress level is high. Because of the calorie over-restriction, your physical stress is also high. Stress has an effect on cortisol, which has an effect on water weight, sometimes quite a large one. Of course you're seeing more stalls on the scale and perhaps even what look like regains. There's a lot going on here, and most of it is about getting things organized in your mind so you can make steady, healthy progress on the weight loss front, as well as other fronts.
I'm very concerned about you!16 -
I am not eating back exercise calories. I want to get to the lower end of my BMI range - more “insurance” that I won’t get fat again[/quote]
This is why you are not losing weight. Going below 1200 is not going to guarantee a faster weight loss or any at all.
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deannalfisher wrote: »at 160lbs you are barely outside the healthy BMI range for your height - 1200cal is likely a too agressive calorie goal for your needs; in addition to your working out (are you eating back exercise calories?)
concur with a dietician who has experience with eating disorders and maybe even a therapist to discuss your issues
I am not eating back exercise calories. I want to get to the lower end of my BMI range - more “insurance” that I won’t get fat again
This is why you are not losing weight. Going below 1200 is not going to guarantee a faster weight loss or any at all.3 -
The OP has posted several times in the last few weeks with some troubling thoughts/ideas/theories on her weight loss and food choices, and has referenced a "full blown eating disorder" in the past. I don't think any amount of advice from well-meaning forum members are going to help her. She needs to see an Eating Disorder specialist and get back into treatment. Until that happens, I don't see how we can possibly help or advise her.13
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deannalfisher wrote: »at 160lbs you are barely outside the healthy BMI range for your height - 1200cal is likely a too agressive calorie goal for your needs; in addition to your working out (are you eating back exercise calories?)
concur with a dietician who has experience with eating disorders and maybe even a therapist to discuss your issues
I am not eating back exercise calories. I want to get to the lower end of my BMI range - more “insurance” that I won’t get fat again
Crash dieting means you're more likely to get fat again for a whole host of reasons though...6 -
deannalfisher wrote: »here is a rough estimate: https://tdeecalculator.net/result.php?s=imperial&age=30&g=female&lbs=160&in=66&act=1.55&bf=&f=1
maintenance - 2267cal
to lose a lb a week - 1700ish cal
This. Deficit should come off your TDEE, not your BMR. BMR is what you would burn in a coma. And with 20-25 lbs to lose, you should be aiming for no more than 1 lb per week, or a 500 cal deficit. 2 lbs per week is only realistic and advisable for obese folks.deannalfisher wrote: »here is a rough estimate: https://tdeecalculator.net/result.php?s=imperial&age=30&g=female&lbs=160&in=66&act=1.55&bf=&f=1
maintenance - 2267cal
to lose a lb a week - 1700ish cal
This. Deficit should come off your TDEE, not your BMR. BMR is what you would burn in a coma. And with 20-25 lbs to lose, you should be aiming for no more than 1 lb per week, or a 500 cal deficit. 2 lbs per week is only realistic and advisable for obese folks.
That’ll mean I won’t be at my goal for a minimum of 5 months, which seems so long :-/ I feel so gross right now and I’m tired of being judged
IMO, you need to work on the mental part more so than the dietary part.
I’d love to snap out of it, but the fact that I’m “overweight” really bothers me. I want to get out of this state ASAP and then maybe I’ll be gentler in myself
This is why an eating disorder specialist is more important than a dietitian for you right now.
I suggest you bring your husband in for a few sessions with you so he learns how to better support you.10 -
I agree with seeing a therapist or ED recovery specialist. Qualified RDs should know the boundaries of what they can and can't address, disordered behaviors and thoughts are some.
Personal experience: My RD told me frankly I know what I should do nutrition wise, however was concerned with my patterns of over exercising and binging. She said she could not address the psychological issues behind disordered behaviors and referred me for therapy.
Tbh, I'm concerned about the statement your husband made too. Sounds like he's trying to throw a competitive element into something already not healthy.8 -
Are you logging accurately? Do you weight all solid food on a food scale? Have you asked for feedback on your diary from MFPers? All these will help ensure you are eating the amount you think you are.2
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