Seeing a registered dietician?
Replies
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I hope you reach out and get the help for understanding why you feel the way you do about yourself. Because it does sound as it is a bit more involved that just pure weight. And only you can decide what is a good weight for you, not your husband. Do not let him shame you into losing more weight by comparing you or judging you. Control comes in many forms and often it comes disguised in people who say they love us, and only want what is best for us.
A food scale is a great way to know exactly how much food we are getting more so than measuring cups.3 -
deannalfisher wrote: »here is a rough estimate: https://tdeecalculator.net/result.php?s=imperial&age=30&g=female&lbs=160&in=66&act=1.55&bf=&f=1
maintenance - 2267cal
to lose a lb a week - 1700ish cal
This. Deficit should come off your TDEE, not your BMR. BMR is what you would burn in a coma. And with 20-25 lbs to lose, you should be aiming for no more than 1 lb per week, or a 500 cal deficit. 2 lbs per week is only realistic and advisable for obese folks.deannalfisher wrote: »here is a rough estimate: https://tdeecalculator.net/result.php?s=imperial&age=30&g=female&lbs=160&in=66&act=1.55&bf=&f=1
maintenance - 2267cal
to lose a lb a week - 1700ish cal
This. Deficit should come off your TDEE, not your BMR. BMR is what you would burn in a coma. And with 20-25 lbs to lose, you should be aiming for no more than 1 lb per week, or a 500 cal deficit. 2 lbs per week is only realistic and advisable for obese folks.
That’ll mean I won’t be at my goal for a minimum of 5 months, which seems so long :-/ I feel so gross right now and I’m tired of being judged
IMO, you need to work on the mental part more so than the dietary part.
I’d love to snap out of it, but the fact that I’m “overweight” really bothers me. I want to get out of this state ASAP and then maybe I’ll be gentler in myself
The thing is, there isn't really a "before and after" state like the one you are theorizing. If you aren't kind to yourself now, it isn't like a switch is going to flip in your head when you reach your goal weight. You'll be the same person, just a smaller person. The stuff that keeps you from being kind and gentle to yourself today is still going to be there, you'll just be wearing smaller clothes.11 -
deannalfisher wrote: »here is a rough estimate: https://tdeecalculator.net/result.php?s=imperial&age=30&g=female&lbs=160&in=66&act=1.55&bf=&f=1
maintenance - 2267cal
to lose a lb a week - 1700ish cal
This. Deficit should come off your TDEE, not your BMR. BMR is what you would burn in a coma. And with 20-25 lbs to lose, you should be aiming for no more than 1 lb per week, or a 500 cal deficit. 2 lbs per week is only realistic and advisable for obese folks.deannalfisher wrote: »here is a rough estimate: https://tdeecalculator.net/result.php?s=imperial&age=30&g=female&lbs=160&in=66&act=1.55&bf=&f=1
maintenance - 2267cal
to lose a lb a week - 1700ish cal
This. Deficit should come off your TDEE, not your BMR. BMR is what you would burn in a coma. And with 20-25 lbs to lose, you should be aiming for no more than 1 lb per week, or a 500 cal deficit. 2 lbs per week is only realistic and advisable for obese folks.
That’ll mean I won’t be at my goal for a minimum of 5 months, which seems so long :-/ I feel so gross right now and I’m tired of being judged
And the bolded is more the core of the problem. Frankly, your current weight is not unusual in the world today. I'm around your height, and my friends started fussing about how much weight I'd lost when I reached somewhere around your current weight. It's unlikely that anyone else is judging you, let alone judging you more harshly than you're judging yourself . . . unless you have hyper-critical or controlling people around you . . . which, from your other threads, I'm wondering about.
I'd second the desirability of a therapist in the mix. A registered dietician can be helpful with fine-tuning your nutrition and calorie level, but only if you are in a state of mind where you can listen, believe, and follow the guidance offered. . . and do so even if a temporary scale jump results.
People here have given you good, sensible advice, and you're not able to take it on board and follow it. Will the dietician's advice be easier to take on board because of his/her expertise?deannalfisher wrote: »here is a rough estimate: https://tdeecalculator.net/result.php?s=imperial&age=30&g=female&lbs=160&in=66&act=1.55&bf=&f=1
maintenance - 2267cal
to lose a lb a week - 1700ish cal
This. Deficit should come off your TDEE, not your BMR. BMR is what you would burn in a coma. And with 20-25 lbs to lose, you should be aiming for no more than 1 lb per week, or a 500 cal deficit. 2 lbs per week is only realistic and advisable for obese folks.deannalfisher wrote: »here is a rough estimate: https://tdeecalculator.net/result.php?s=imperial&age=30&g=female&lbs=160&in=66&act=1.55&bf=&f=1
maintenance - 2267cal
to lose a lb a week - 1700ish cal
This. Deficit should come off your TDEE, not your BMR. BMR is what you would burn in a coma. And with 20-25 lbs to lose, you should be aiming for no more than 1 lb per week, or a 500 cal deficit. 2 lbs per week is only realistic and advisable for obese folks.
That’ll mean I won’t be at my goal for a minimum of 5 months, which seems so long :-/ I feel so gross right now and I’m tired of being judged
IMO, you need to work on the mental part more so than the dietary part.
I’d love to snap out of it, but the fact that I’m “overweight” really bothers me. I want to get out of this state ASAP and then maybe I’ll be gentler in myself
It's not uncommon to think that losing weight will somehow change everything. If someone is morbidly obese and physically unable to function in the world - which you aren't - then it can have a pretty big effect on life quality just because daily life gets easier in a practical sense. Losing 20 pounds won't have a big effect on how you feel about yourself, unfortunately.
What you're saying here amounts to "I'm not finding myself lovable now, but I'll be lovable to myself when I'm at the bottom of my normal BMI range" (which you mentioned you think is insurance against regain). I'm very sorry, but weight loss doesn't have that effect.
Right now, you're at too low a calorie level for the amount you have to lose. Your psychological stress level is high. Because of the calorie over-restriction, your physical stress is also high. Stress has an effect on cortisol, which has an effect on water weight, sometimes quite a large one. Of course you're seeing more stalls on the scale and perhaps even what look like regains. There's a lot going on here, and most of it is about getting things organized in your mind so you can make steady, healthy progress on the weight loss front, as well as other fronts.
I'm very concerned about you!16 -
I am not eating back exercise calories. I want to get to the lower end of my BMI range - more “insurance” that I won’t get fat again[/quote]
This is why you are not losing weight. Going below 1200 is not going to guarantee a faster weight loss or any at all.
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deannalfisher wrote: »at 160lbs you are barely outside the healthy BMI range for your height - 1200cal is likely a too agressive calorie goal for your needs; in addition to your working out (are you eating back exercise calories?)
concur with a dietician who has experience with eating disorders and maybe even a therapist to discuss your issues
I am not eating back exercise calories. I want to get to the lower end of my BMI range - more “insurance” that I won’t get fat again
This is why you are not losing weight. Going below 1200 is not going to guarantee a faster weight loss or any at all.3 -
The OP has posted several times in the last few weeks with some troubling thoughts/ideas/theories on her weight loss and food choices, and has referenced a "full blown eating disorder" in the past. I don't think any amount of advice from well-meaning forum members are going to help her. She needs to see an Eating Disorder specialist and get back into treatment. Until that happens, I don't see how we can possibly help or advise her.13
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deannalfisher wrote: »at 160lbs you are barely outside the healthy BMI range for your height - 1200cal is likely a too agressive calorie goal for your needs; in addition to your working out (are you eating back exercise calories?)
concur with a dietician who has experience with eating disorders and maybe even a therapist to discuss your issues
I am not eating back exercise calories. I want to get to the lower end of my BMI range - more “insurance” that I won’t get fat again
Crash dieting means you're more likely to get fat again for a whole host of reasons though...6 -
deannalfisher wrote: »here is a rough estimate: https://tdeecalculator.net/result.php?s=imperial&age=30&g=female&lbs=160&in=66&act=1.55&bf=&f=1
maintenance - 2267cal
to lose a lb a week - 1700ish cal
This. Deficit should come off your TDEE, not your BMR. BMR is what you would burn in a coma. And with 20-25 lbs to lose, you should be aiming for no more than 1 lb per week, or a 500 cal deficit. 2 lbs per week is only realistic and advisable for obese folks.deannalfisher wrote: »here is a rough estimate: https://tdeecalculator.net/result.php?s=imperial&age=30&g=female&lbs=160&in=66&act=1.55&bf=&f=1
maintenance - 2267cal
to lose a lb a week - 1700ish cal
This. Deficit should come off your TDEE, not your BMR. BMR is what you would burn in a coma. And with 20-25 lbs to lose, you should be aiming for no more than 1 lb per week, or a 500 cal deficit. 2 lbs per week is only realistic and advisable for obese folks.
That’ll mean I won’t be at my goal for a minimum of 5 months, which seems so long :-/ I feel so gross right now and I’m tired of being judged
IMO, you need to work on the mental part more so than the dietary part.
I’d love to snap out of it, but the fact that I’m “overweight” really bothers me. I want to get out of this state ASAP and then maybe I’ll be gentler in myself
This is why an eating disorder specialist is more important than a dietitian for you right now.
I suggest you bring your husband in for a few sessions with you so he learns how to better support you.10 -
I agree with seeing a therapist or ED recovery specialist. Qualified RDs should know the boundaries of what they can and can't address, disordered behaviors and thoughts are some.
Personal experience: My RD told me frankly I know what I should do nutrition wise, however was concerned with my patterns of over exercising and binging. She said she could not address the psychological issues behind disordered behaviors and referred me for therapy.
Tbh, I'm concerned about the statement your husband made too. Sounds like he's trying to throw a competitive element into something already not healthy.8 -
Are you logging accurately? Do you weight all solid food on a food scale? Have you asked for feedback on your diary from MFPers? All these will help ensure you are eating the amount you think you are.2
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I’ve been struggling with some obsessive thoughts around food/exercise (currently eating 1200 calories a day, working out 3-4 times a week). I’ve decided it’s time to see a dietician to help me because I’m just struggling and my weight loss has stalled out which I’m not happy about. I understand they’re the expert but I’m so worried she’ll have me on a plan I actually gain on. I feel like my body needs a serious deficit to lose (even under 1200, seeing as I’m stalled out). I’m just wary about trusting her. Or it might be the whole “trust your body, eat when you’re hungry, stop when you’re full” thing and not even a real meal plan which is what got me in this mess to begin with. It’s just so hard for me to find a middle ground. Has anyone sought the help of a registered dietician, and were they helpful? I’m having a hard time with it but I’ve been pretty miserable lately and so think I need some help. I just feel like I can’t trust anyone anymore, especially my own body which is a really sad and lonely feeling. All my progress and goals are being hindered by me feeling inadequate and like I need to do so much more to never be fat again.
From your other thread, you were losing weight too quickly, so a stall is not necessarily a bad thing. It's perfectly normal for weight to fluctuate up and down - you just want the overall trend to be down.
If you are ovulating or premenstrual, or added something new to your exercise program, you could be retaining water, which will mask fat loss.
Furthermore, stress, which increases cortisol, can cause you to retain water, and you sound pretty stressed in several of your threads.
http://www.bodyrecomposition.com/research-review/dietary-restraint-and-cortisol-levels-research-review.html/
...a group of women who scored higher on dietary restraint scores showed elevated baseline cortisol levels. By itself this might not be problematic, but as often as not, these types of dieters are drawn to extreme approaches to dieting.
They throw in a lot of intense exercise, try to cut calories very hard (and this often backfires if disinhibition is high; when these folks break they break) and cortisol levels go through the roof. That often causes cortisol mediated water retention (there are other mechanisms for this, mind you, leptin actually inhibits cortisol release and as it drops on a diet, cortisol levels go up further). Weight and fat loss appear to have stopped or at least slowed significantly. This is compounded even further in female dieters due to the vagaries of their menstrual cycle where water balance is changing enormously week to week anyhow.
And invariably, this type of psychology responds to the stall by going even harder. They attempt to cut calories harder, they start doing more activity. The cycle continues and gets worse. Harder dieting means more cortisol means more water retention means more dieting. Which backfires (other problems come in the long-term with this approach but you’ll have to wait for the book to read about that).
When what they should do is take a day or two off (even one day off from training, at least in men, let’s cortisol drop significantly). Raise calories, especially from carbohydrates. This helps cortisol to drop. More than that they need to find a way to freaking chill out. Meditation, yoga, get a massage... Get in the bath, candles, a little Enya, a glass of wine, have some you-time but please just chill.
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deannalfisher wrote: »here is a rough estimate: https://tdeecalculator.net/result.php?s=imperial&age=30&g=female&lbs=160&in=66&act=1.55&bf=&f=1
maintenance - 2267cal
to lose a lb a week - 1700ish cal
This. Deficit should come off your TDEE, not your BMR. BMR is what you would burn in a coma. And with 20-25 lbs to lose, you should be aiming for no more than 1 lb per week, or a 500 cal deficit. 2 lbs per week is only realistic and advisable for obese folks.deannalfisher wrote: »here is a rough estimate: https://tdeecalculator.net/result.php?s=imperial&age=30&g=female&lbs=160&in=66&act=1.55&bf=&f=1
maintenance - 2267cal
to lose a lb a week - 1700ish cal
This. Deficit should come off your TDEE, not your BMR. BMR is what you would burn in a coma. And with 20-25 lbs to lose, you should be aiming for no more than 1 lb per week, or a 500 cal deficit. 2 lbs per week is only realistic and advisable for obese folks.
That’ll mean I won’t be at my goal for a minimum of 5 months, which seems so long :-/ I feel so gross right now and I’m tired of being judged
IMO, you need to work on the mental part more so than the dietary part.
I’d love to snap out of it, but the fact that I’m “overweight” really bothers me. I want to get out of this state ASAP and then maybe I’ll be gentler in myself
The problem with this kind of thinking is the goalposts are always moving. You have to entirely detach you self-worth from your weight. Not an easy task, that's why I recommend, with others, that you get some help with your thinking.10 -
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I am 5'6' and started at 167 lbs with a goal of 140 lbs. I tried to lose 2 lbs per week at 1200 calories and I was just HUNGRY all the time. I did some reading on MFP and realized that my rate of weight loss was too aggressive so I adjusted it to .5 lbs/week. It has been slow going, but it is definitely going down. I am at 143 now and expecting it to take another 6-9 months to reach my (new) goal of 130-135. They say that it goes slower the closer you get to goal, and that has been evident in my numbers. With 30-40 lbs to lose, your rate should be .5 or 1 lb per week, not 2.
I agree with other posters who are suggesting a therapist or an RD with experience in disordered eating. You may lose all the weight but find you are not happy at that weight. What then? Will you turn to eating again? Will you starve yourself? Our mental health is just as important as our physical health.4 -
Your wedding pictures are lovely! You look beautiful and happy.
I’m glad you decided to eat more yesterday, but from what you posted (ate 1500, exercised 600+), you still only netted 900 calories, which is not enough to sustain your health.
Please find a therapist who can help you. In the long run, it’s a better use of your money than a dietitian. Here’s the Psychology Today therapist finder site, where you can search for therapists who take your insurance and specialize in eating disorders: https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapists?tr=Header_Menu2
Edited a spelling error. Twice.3 -
I’ve been “recovered” for 10 years. I made a truce with my body and stopped counting calories. My weight has fluctuated throughout the years but for many years has been between 150-160 pounds with a healthy(ish) diet not counting calories (gluten free, fairly unprocessed). I thought I was okay and looked okay. But after a bout of depression and over years I put on weight. And when my own doctor said I need to start hitting the gym and losing weight, I was like well i really must look terrible. I felt humiliated. This is me at my wedding 2 years ago - I think I looked okay there (even beautiful), but I have no idea what I weighed. Probably between 150-160. I’m just mad my “set point” appears to be at the higher end of my BMI, and I guess I got tired of defending my weight to doctors and doing blind weights. I realize health is the priority.
You do look beautiful in your wedding pics!
But I'm confused - you say you think you were 150-160 there, and earlier you said you are around 160 now. So I don't understand the urgency to get to 130-140. (?)
You're a little fragile so I am somewhat hesitant to suggest this - but you could put on your wedding dress to gauge how much your weight differs from two years ago, if at all. If it is now a size too small, you'd be about 10 pounds heavier. If it still fits, you really need to chill
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