Someone said I am "pushing myself" and I find that sad
Replies
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Agree with a lot of others. I think its more about feeling invalidated/criticized by your friend, that you are somehow doing something 'wrong' (pushing yourself). And seeing how much you are volunteering info about your past accomplishments, you are looking for (re)validation.
I think you'll find the most peace if you can just accept his comment in the spirit it was meant. I'm not him, but it sounds like he just wants you to feel better and that's how it came out. To take his very contextual comment as a symptom of his, and society's, lack of appreciation for what human beings are capable of is a bit of a jump.7 -
There's also a workup for the human body to be doing what could be seen as limits of human body.
Or frankly, limits of the human body you happen to have at the moment.
Someone that's been chair bound for years and is still with some sort of disease could be pushing themselves beyond really their limit by attempting to walk around the block.
The effect being seen as feet so messed up they have to stay off them for a few days, actually could have some mini-fractures (friend just dealt with that, now in double boots for 6 wks), or tendons/ligaments needing many days of recovery, ect.
Was that pushing beyond the limit.
So from that vantage point, perhaps person heard of issues you were having, and not really knowing your full schedule and means - thought pushing it too much.
Then again - probably didn't give that much thought to their comment, so they were just spouting basically something they'd heard before.2 -
OP- I’m curious based on this and some other threads/comments.
How do you feel about people who have health and fitness goals that do not ever include (or have any desire to include) pushing or working at the limits of what a human body may be capable of doing?
That’s very poorly worded, but I get the sense that you have particular views on those who aren’t working to push the limits of the human body-or working up to that as a long term goal.14 -
Duck_Puddle wrote: »I’m curious based on this and somenorhrt threads/comments.
How do you feel about people who have health and fitness goals that do not ever include (or have any desire to include) pushing or working at the limits of what a human body may be capable of doing?
That’s very poorly worded, but I get the sense that you have particular views on those who aren’t working to push the limits of the human body-or working up to that as a long term goal.
That's perfectly fine. I see no reason that everyone's goal should be to push their body to the human limit.2 -
Duck_Puddle wrote: »I’m curious based on this and somenorhrt threads/comments.
How do you feel about people who have health and fitness goals that do not ever include (or have any desire to include) pushing or working at the limits of what a human body may be capable of doing?
That’s very poorly worded, but I get the sense that you have particular views on those who aren’t working to push the limits of the human body-or working up to that as a long term goal.
That's perfectly fine. I see no reason that everyone's goal should be to push their body to the human limit.
I agree. I think OP does not and many other posts kind of indicate he feels pretty strongly about it. That’s why I was asking his thoughts on that.
I edited that to hopefully make it more clear that I’m asking the OP’s thoughts.4 -
Duck_Puddle wrote: »OP- I’m curious based on this and some other threads/comments.
How do you feel about people who have health and fitness goals that do not ever include (or have any desire to include) pushing or working at the limits of what a human body may be capable of doing?
That’s very poorly worded, but I get the sense that you have particular views on those who aren’t working to push the limits of the human body-or working up to that as a long term goal.
Hmm, I guess I'll give that a two part answer. The first is the Socrates quote "No man has a right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. What a shame it is for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable"
The second part: everyone should be active in some form or fashion and have a basic understanding of fitness and nutrition. I have a friend who is super into skating and eats right. I think he's a scrawny git who could stand to pack on 40 pounds, but that's just an opinion, I know he is very healthy, and I have no problem with his fitness levels. It doesn't matter to me if you're a runner, a lifter, a crossfitter, or just active. (I worry about their form and joints but it's not a bad thing) I do truly believe that almost everyone would benefit from lifting weights - they don't necessarily have to take it super seriously, but squats, deads, benches, ohp, and bodyweight stuff like pushups, dips and pull ups are for everyone barring some injury that prevents them.8 -
youcantflexcardio wrote: »Duck_Puddle wrote: »OP- I’m curious based on this and some other threads/comments.
How do you feel about people who have health and fitness goals that do not ever include (or have any desire to include) pushing or working at the limits of what a human body may be capable of doing?
That’s very poorly worded, but I get the sense that you have particular views on those who aren’t working to push the limits of the human body-or working up to that as a long term goal.
Hmm, I guess I'll give that a two part answer. The first is the Socrates quote "No man has a right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. What a shame it is for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable"
The second part: everyone should be active in some form or fashion and have a basic understanding of fitness and nutrition. I have a friend who is super into skating and eats right. I think he's a scrawny git who could stand to pack on 40 pounds, but that's just an opinion, I know he is very healthy, and I have no problem with his fitness levels. It doesn't matter to me if you're a runner, a lifter, a crossfitter, or just active. (I worry about their form and joints but it's not a bad thing) I do truly believe that almost everyone would benefit from lifting weights - they don't necessarily have to take it super seriously, but squats, deads, benches, ohp, and bodyweight stuff like pushups, dips and pull ups are for everyone barring some injury that prevents them.
So much the bolded. One of the main reasons people have to go to assisted living is because they can't get off the toilet.7 -
Theoldguy1 wrote: »youcantflexcardio wrote: »Duck_Puddle wrote: »OP- I’m curious based on this and some other threads/comments.
How do you feel about people who have health and fitness goals that do not ever include (or have any desire to include) pushing or working at the limits of what a human body may be capable of doing?
That’s very poorly worded, but I get the sense that you have particular views on those who aren’t working to push the limits of the human body-or working up to that as a long term goal.
Hmm, I guess I'll give that a two part answer. The first is the Socrates quote "No man has a right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. What a shame it is for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable"
The second part: everyone should be active in some form or fashion and have a basic understanding of fitness and nutrition. I have a friend who is super into skating and eats right. I think he's a scrawny git who could stand to pack on 40 pounds, but that's just an opinion, I know he is very healthy, and I have no problem with his fitness levels. It doesn't matter to me if you're a runner, a lifter, a crossfitter, or just active. (I worry about their form and joints but it's not a bad thing) I do truly believe that almost everyone would benefit from lifting weights - they don't necessarily have to take it super seriously, but squats, deads, benches, ohp, and bodyweight stuff like pushups, dips and pull ups are for everyone barring some injury that prevents them.
So much the bolded. One of the main reasons people have to go to assisted living is because they can't get off the toilet.
I have a grandfather who is deteriorating fast because he refuses to eat right or leave his apartment, partially because he probably can't make it 50 steps. If he were to do 3 sets of 10-20 chair sit squats every other day and eat a balanced meal plan that is a slightly above his TDEE (I've offered several times to make him one), his muscle atrophy would all but dissapear.8 -
youcantflexcardio wrote: »Theoldguy1 wrote: »youcantflexcardio wrote: »Duck_Puddle wrote: »OP- I’m curious based on this and some other threads/comments.
How do you feel about people who have health and fitness goals that do not ever include (or have any desire to include) pushing or working at the limits of what a human body may be capable of doing?
That’s very poorly worded, but I get the sense that you have particular views on those who aren’t working to push the limits of the human body-or working up to that as a long term goal.
Hmm, I guess I'll give that a two part answer. The first is the Socrates quote "No man has a right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. What a shame it is for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable"
The second part: everyone should be active in some form or fashion and have a basic understanding of fitness and nutrition. I have a friend who is super into skating and eats right. I think he's a scrawny git who could stand to pack on 40 pounds, but that's just an opinion, I know he is very healthy, and I have no problem with his fitness levels. It doesn't matter to me if you're a runner, a lifter, a crossfitter, or just active. (I worry about their form and joints but it's not a bad thing) I do truly believe that almost everyone would benefit from lifting weights - they don't necessarily have to take it super seriously, but squats, deads, benches, ohp, and bodyweight stuff like pushups, dips and pull ups are for everyone barring some injury that prevents them.
So much the bolded. One of the main reasons people have to go to assisted living is because they can't get off the toilet.
I have a grandfather who is deteriorating fast because he refuses to eat right or leave his apartment, partially because he probably can't make it 50 steps. If he were to do 3 sets of 10-20 chair sit squats every other day and eat a balanced meal plan that is a slightly above his TDEE (I've offered several times to make him one), his muscle atrophy would all but dissapear.
It is sad. Have you tried so sort of protein shake with him to get the protein and calories in? So many ways you can mix that stuff up he probably wouldn't know it was good for him1 -
What I've noticed is that when we start out on the road to fitness, everyone is supportive. Then as we start reaching goals, looking better, and making it a priority and focus, that support can change. Some people get worried that we're doing it wrong, or might have unrealistic goals. Once you hear a couple of those comments it can start to sound like criticism, or jealousy. I can understand some irrational anger at first. But you didn't let it go.
Men typically aren't good listeners when it comes to venting. They want to weigh in and come up with a solution--even if it's wrong. I suspect your sedentary friend did just that, and you took it harder than intended.
You're right that it is sad that society doesn't see enough value in fitness. But to be fair, even though the human body can and often does handle a crap-ton of stress and exertion, it's not always good to do so. The motto is "That which does not kill us makes us stronger," but sometimes it does kill us. Sometimes it does damage that can't be repaired, or takes a long time to heal. I'm not a doctor, so I can't say what causes vertigo, but it's a good idea to listen to your body when it's telling you something is wrong.
Maybe your friend and people here took it the wrong way. But you did list your injuries and interests, and you sound like you do push yourself. Whether it's too much or too hard is between you and your doctor.4 -
Theoldguy1 wrote: »youcantflexcardio wrote: »Theoldguy1 wrote: »youcantflexcardio wrote: »Duck_Puddle wrote: »OP- I’m curious based on this and some other threads/comments.
How do you feel about people who have health and fitness goals that do not ever include (or have any desire to include) pushing or working at the limits of what a human body may be capable of doing?
That’s very poorly worded, but I get the sense that you have particular views on those who aren’t working to push the limits of the human body-or working up to that as a long term goal.
Hmm, I guess I'll give that a two part answer. The first is the Socrates quote "No man has a right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. What a shame it is for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable"
The second part: everyone should be active in some form or fashion and have a basic understanding of fitness and nutrition. I have a friend who is super into skating and eats right. I think he's a scrawny git who could stand to pack on 40 pounds, but that's just an opinion, I know he is very healthy, and I have no problem with his fitness levels. It doesn't matter to me if you're a runner, a lifter, a crossfitter, or just active. (I worry about their form and joints but it's not a bad thing) I do truly believe that almost everyone would benefit from lifting weights - they don't necessarily have to take it super seriously, but squats, deads, benches, ohp, and bodyweight stuff like pushups, dips and pull ups are for everyone barring some injury that prevents them.
So much the bolded. One of the main reasons people have to go to assisted living is because they can't get off the toilet.
I have a grandfather who is deteriorating fast because he refuses to eat right or leave his apartment, partially because he probably can't make it 50 steps. If he were to do 3 sets of 10-20 chair sit squats every other day and eat a balanced meal plan that is a slightly above his TDEE (I've offered several times to make him one), his muscle atrophy would all but dissapear.
It is sad. Have you tried so sort of protein shake with him to get the protein and calories in? So many ways you can mix that stuff up he probably wouldn't know it was good for him
Its a complicated situation. Late marriage divorce (damn near 50 years, his call) He definitely suffers from some sort of depression and anxiety, but won't get help (I'm no shrink but I've been around it and know what it looks like) - he literally won't leave his apartment, my aunt has to make him do hygine every week. We buy him protien shakes but he has this habit of not eating for 2 days and then eating a jar of peanut butter, 3 protien shakes, and like 6 cinnamon rolls and then complaining about stomach issues. I hate to say it but he's basically mental...hasn't left his apartment in over 2 years (that I can verify, its been longer im sure). Won't see a shrink. Won't see a doctor. Won't get new dentures. Won't listen to me, my uncles, my aunt, my ma, no one.3 -
youcantflexcardio wrote: »Theoldguy1 wrote: »youcantflexcardio wrote: »Theoldguy1 wrote: »youcantflexcardio wrote: »Duck_Puddle wrote: »OP- I’m curious based on this and some other threads/comments.
How do you feel about people who have health and fitness goals that do not ever include (or have any desire to include) pushing or working at the limits of what a human body may be capable of doing?
That’s very poorly worded, but I get the sense that you have particular views on those who aren’t working to push the limits of the human body-or working up to that as a long term goal.
Hmm, I guess I'll give that a two part answer. The first is the Socrates quote "No man has a right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. What a shame it is for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable"
The second part: everyone should be active in some form or fashion and have a basic understanding of fitness and nutrition. I have a friend who is super into skating and eats right. I think he's a scrawny git who could stand to pack on 40 pounds, but that's just an opinion, I know he is very healthy, and I have no problem with his fitness levels. It doesn't matter to me if you're a runner, a lifter, a crossfitter, or just active. (I worry about their form and joints but it's not a bad thing) I do truly believe that almost everyone would benefit from lifting weights - they don't necessarily have to take it super seriously, but squats, deads, benches, ohp, and bodyweight stuff like pushups, dips and pull ups are for everyone barring some injury that prevents them.
So much the bolded. One of the main reasons people have to go to assisted living is because they can't get off the toilet.
I have a grandfather who is deteriorating fast because he refuses to eat right or leave his apartment, partially because he probably can't make it 50 steps. If he were to do 3 sets of 10-20 chair sit squats every other day and eat a balanced meal plan that is a slightly above his TDEE (I've offered several times to make him one), his muscle atrophy would all but dissapear.
It is sad. Have you tried so sort of protein shake with him to get the protein and calories in? So many ways you can mix that stuff up he probably wouldn't know it was good for him
Its a complicated situation. Late marriage divorce (damn near 50 years, his call) He definitely suffers from some sort of depression and anxiety, but won't get help (I'm no shrink but I've been around it and know what it looks like) - he literally won't leave his apartment, my aunt has to make him do hygine every week. We buy him protien shakes but he has this habit of not eating for 2 days and then eating a jar of peanut butter, 3 protien shakes, and like 6 cinnamon rolls and then complaining about stomach issues. I hate to say it but he's basically mental...hasn't left his apartment in over 2 years (that I can verify, its been longer im sure). Won't see a shrink. Won't see a doctor. Won't get new dentures. Won't listen to me, my uncles, my aunt, my ma, no one.
This reminds me of what I hear about with regards to early symptoms of dementia. Not leaving your house for over two years is a significantly bigger issue than not being willing to do chair situps.10 -
you seem intense. do you often talk about your health regime, diet and exercise, etc? also your health? he prolly hears this out of you a lot since many people who are on a regime have a bad habit and talk about it incessantly. you may not even realize you are doing it or that you could be annoying people with it.6
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Theoldguy1 wrote: »youcantflexcardio wrote: »Duck_Puddle wrote: »OP- I’m curious based on this and some other threads/comments.
How do you feel about people who have health and fitness goals that do not ever include (or have any desire to include) pushing or working at the limits of what a human body may be capable of doing?
That’s very poorly worded, but I get the sense that you have particular views on those who aren’t working to push the limits of the human body-or working up to that as a long term goal.
Hmm, I guess I'll give that a two part answer. The first is the Socrates quote "No man has a right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. What a shame it is for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable"
The second part: everyone should be active in some form or fashion and have a basic understanding of fitness and nutrition. I have a friend who is super into skating and eats right. I think he's a scrawny git who could stand to pack on 40 pounds, but that's just an opinion, I know he is very healthy, and I have no problem with his fitness levels. It doesn't matter to me if you're a runner, a lifter, a crossfitter, or just active. (I worry about their form and joints but it's not a bad thing) I do truly believe that almost everyone would benefit from lifting weights - they don't necessarily have to take it super seriously, but squats, deads, benches, ohp, and bodyweight stuff like pushups, dips and pull ups are for everyone barring some injury that prevents them.
So much the bolded. One of the main reasons people have to go to assisted living is because they can't get off the toilet.
Yes, this was true for my OH's mother, but will not be true for mine, who is very very active, including squats during both her "extreme gardening", as her former trainer used to say, and at the gym with her new trainer.1 -
youcantflexcardio wrote: »elisa123gal wrote: »I get your point and your frustration. we are not ganging up on you. The fact is you work to be fit and lead a disciplined life. You'd like to be respected for that. And here.. this unfit friend basically tells you that he sees you as a guy who is "pushing it" ..so much that you have vertigo.
Instead of you being an example to him......he actually thinks you are being unhealthy.
It is funny if you really want to think on it. Hang with some fit friends who don't see you as a freak.
I think your friend was just trying to help, as irritating it is...
Insightful actually.
I think I took more offense to the fact that he thought this was pushing myself than anything. I spent 7 years in the military. Infantry too, not some desk job. He knows this, and it almost felt like he had no respect or idea what that day to day life was like. What I'm doing now? This is cake. Its not 2 a days, I get better food of my choosing, I get more sleep, I don't have to run on caffeine, nocotine, and hate. My workouts are mine and programmed well, I don't have to worry about training legs and then getting a text at 10pm that I'm doing a 10 mile ruck with 60lbs st 6am.
Yet another reason why I chose the Air Force. No rucks ever. No 10 mile runs ever.
3 -
But even the friends concern was misplaced, I don't see any need for the OP to rudely bite his head off.
Surely one can just Say "thanks for your concern, I'll think about it" without gettng on ones soapbox with a dramatic over reaction.
And I disagree with Socrates - "No man has a right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. What a shame it is for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable"
I think people have every right to be amateurs in physical training if hey want to and to decide for themselves how far they want to push themselves.
I myself am perfectly happy being healthy and of reasonable fitness without feeling any need to push my body to its limit.18 -
paperpudding wrote: »But even the friends concern was misplaced, I don't see any need for the OP to rudely bite his head off.
Surely one can just Say "thanks for your concern, I'll think about it" without gettng on ones soapbox with a dramatic over reaction.
And I disagree with Socrates - "No man has a right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. What a shame it is for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable"
I think people have every right to be amateurs in physical training if hey want to and to decide for themselves how far they want to push themselves.
I myself am perfectly happy being healthy and of reasonable fitness without feeling any need to push my body to its limit.
Maybe Socrates was right. Men don’t have to experience monthly cycles, pregnancy or childbirth so maybe they ought to push themselves physically in other ways. Women have it foisted upon us.5 -
paperpudding wrote: »But even the friends concern was misplaced, I don't see any need for the OP to rudely bite his head off.
Surely one can just Say "thanks for your concern, I'll think about it" without gettng on ones soapbox with a dramatic over reaction.
And I disagree with Socrates - "No man has a right to be an amateur in the matter of physical training. What a shame it is for a man to grow old without seeing the beauty and strength of which his body is capable"
I think people have every right to be amateurs in physical training if hey want to and to decide for themselves how far they want to push themselves.
I myself am perfectly happy being healthy and of reasonable fitness without feeling any need to push my body to its limit.
I hear that. I enjoy pushing myself to be better than I thought I could be. (Disclosure: I have some hand-eye and gross-motor/fine-motor coordination issues. Nothing serious enough to be considered a disability, but plenty bad enough to make gym class and school play dancing exercises in torture). I ran my first 5K this past summer, in large part just to see if I could. Not because I want to work my way up to a marathon, or even necessarily a 10K—though I'll admit that two years ago I wouldn't have considered THAT possible either. But just... "Hey. I already walk about 10K every day. And I apparently have an RHR in the athlete range. Maybe I can run 5."
I strength-train because I want to minimize muscle loss during weight loss. Discovering that I could sit up unaided in the recovery room about an hour after I woke up from bladder surgery was a nice plus. (The nurse complimented me on my trunk muscles!) And I'm gradually increasing the weights of my dumbbells. In two years, I've gone from 5-8lbs to 25-30lbs. For me? Fantastic. For someone with power-lifting goals? Not really. But that's okay. I don't need to push to my limit. I just get stronger and fitter over time.12 -
It took me a very long time to realize that I cant do what others do, for some reason my body does not handle the stress. I have pushed myself for years in the fitness area, working out 7 days a week, running 90 plus miles a week until my body pretty much shut down and I was forced to take a year off. My primary doctor, husband, and friends always told me I was pushing myself too hard and I never listened. I constantly compared myself to other athletes. I have learned that everybody is different and what one may handle may not be the same as what another can handle. I now workout four days a week which leaves me feeling great. I was not listening at the time to my body or those who care for me, I was pushing myself and was just to stubborn to see it.10
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Perhaps they didn't mean it that way....
I too am often told you need days off the bike. I don't get offended, but i tell myself i'll just ride gently and at a cruise pace. Im currently almost at my goal of 1250 km and 8000 m in elevation, but with little time left to complete them both and thunderstorms being forcasted much of the last week i am feeling very exhausted and mentally drained. To me i think this is exactly what they meant when they say things like over worked. Im fixated too much on achieving a goal that im losing sight of the reason i even started cycling. Im just suggesting maybe just continue what your doing and eventually you yourself will find out what they meant?4 -
youcantflexcardio wrote: »Wow. A lot of people seem to missing the point.
First off, the vertigo has been checked by a medical professional. It's probably BPPV and likely nothing to worry about and not caused by physical activity - it just happened, no real cause. The friend knew this.
Second, I know the friend was concerned, I pretty much said so in my original post.
My friend is extremely sedentary. My whole point is that I find it very sad that shedding weight, following a lifting routine, and having active hobbies could even be considered pushing oneself. It is not. What i want to know is why have we fallen so far away from fitness as a whole that an average person would consider that pushing oneself?
Also someone asked if I've ever had any injuries before this. The answer is yes. I've broken bones, cracked ribs, had plenty of stitches, I've had surgical hardware put in 4 times in 3 different spots, broke some of that hardware once and had to have it changed out.
Two sides of the coin.
Given the medical history provided, as a friend I'd be concerned that you weren't pushing yourself to hard as well.
But, I've also heard similar from the sedentary, obese, don't care about health or quality of life people in my life as well. They didn't understand the hows and whys of my exercise or diet, and didn't really seem to want to.
So yes, context matters. Were they concerned about changes in your health status? Or is it that they don't understand your lifestyle and they feel it's excessive?2 -
makkimakki2018 wrote: »Perhaps they didn't mean it that way....
I too am often told you need days off the bike. I don't get offended, but i tell myself i'll just ride gently and at a cruise pace. Im currently almost at my goal of 1250 km and 8000 m in elevation, but with little time left to complete them both and thunderstorms being forcasted much of the last week i am feeling very exhausted and mentally drained. To me i think this is exactly what they meant when they say things like over worked. Im fixated too much on achieving a goal that im losing sight of the reason i even started cycling. Im just suggesting maybe just continue what your doing and eventually you yourself will find out what they meant?
This episode of the GCN Show seems especially apt:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kaekUjAOUS8 1
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