Some people just don't get it

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  • IsETHome
    IsETHome Posts: 386 Member
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    xbowhunter wrote: »
    In my mind when some-one attempts to take a jab at my healthy weight then I am obliged to jab back. I keep my comments to myself but if you feel the need to lay it on me then be prepared to hear what I'm thinking... lol

    Comment: "You don't need to do that. You're skinny."

    Reply: "True & you obviously shouldn't eat any of it"... :)

    I hope you are joking, instead you might say that you consistently have to work at it and it’s outside your calorie range.
  • IsETHome
    IsETHome Posts: 386 Member
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    LoPotion wrote: »
    I feel you. A few weeks ago, a coworker asked me what the biggest factor in my weight loss was. I got all awkward and said "counting calories." She scoffed and replied, "yeah, that's never gonna happen."

    For some reason, I felt embarrassed, like she was laughing at me. Maybe there was a more elegant response I could have given her. I get very uncomfortable when it comes to talking about my looks/physique, because I'm scared it'll look like I'm bragging.
    Sounds like she just didn’t have the interest, I don’t think her response was aimed at you, more her lack of desire.
  • paperpudding
    paperpudding Posts: 8,986 Member
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    IsETHome wrote: »
    xbowhunter wrote: »
    In my mind when some-one attempts to take a jab at my healthy weight then I am obliged to jab back. I keep my comments to myself but if you feel the need to lay it on me then be prepared to hear what I'm thinking... lol

    Comment: "You don't need to do that. You're skinny."

    Reply: "True & you obviously shouldn't eat any of it"... :)

    I hope you are joking, instead you might say that you consistently have to work at it and it’s outside your calorie range.


    I agree. I hope it is joking or a comment not said out loud.

    Because, as was mentioned upthread, people often do friendly small talk about food and replying in deliberately snarky way seems completely unneccesary to me.

  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
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    paperpudding wrote: »
    IsETHome wrote: »
    xbowhunter wrote: »
    In my mind when some-one attempts to take a jab at my healthy weight then I am obliged to jab back. I keep my comments to myself but if you feel the need to lay it on me then be prepared to hear what I'm thinking... lol

    Comment: "You don't need to do that. You're skinny."

    Reply: "True & you obviously shouldn't eat any of it"... :)

    I hope you are joking, instead you might say that you consistently have to work at it and it’s outside your calorie range.


    I agree. I hope it is joking or a comment not said out loud.

    Because, as was mentioned upthread, people often do friendly small talk about food and replying in deliberately snarky way seems completely unneccesary to me.

    Not sure it was meant to be said out loud.

    But if it was, it might be OK if the "You don't need to do that. You're skinny" comment was snarky. I kind of got the impression it was. Not sure.

  • salleewins
    salleewins Posts: 2,308 Member
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    I went out to eat with a friend last year (haven't been out with this friend since). It was 10 am. She got breakfast and I got more of a traditional lunch. She said she felt uncomfortable with my choice??? Mine was more healthy, btw. I don't care what time of day it is, I am going to eat what I want. Just like at home. I should be able to get what I want, wherever I go. We have gotten to be on 2 different wavelengths over time.
  • Noreenmarie1234
    Noreenmarie1234 Posts: 7,493 Member
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    salleewins wrote: »
    I went out to eat with a friend last year (haven't been out with this friend since). It was 10 am. She got breakfast and I got more of a traditional lunch. She said she felt uncomfortable with my choice??? Mine was more healthy, btw. I don't care what time of day it is, I am going to eat what I want. Just like at home. I should be able to get what I want, wherever I go. We have gotten to be on 2 different wavelengths over time.

    Why would your choice at a restaurant make her "uncomfortable".... ?! Did she say why?
  • JohnnytotheB
    JohnnytotheB Posts: 361 Member
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    Remember, misery loves company.
  • salleewins
    salleewins Posts: 2,308 Member
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    @Noreenmarie1234 I think it was because I didn't get more of a typical breakfast item. It was 10 am. I really didn't see anything I wanted that looked healthy and obviously they served the salad I got, already at that time. I think she got a breakfast panini. We probably said we were going to breakfast ahead of time and I didn't remember that, but still I saw nothing I wanted...... I didn't feel uncomfortable eating salad while she had breakfast.... Back then I didn't eat breakfast that late, anyways. It is like eating at 10:30 am by the time we got food. I probably should have said that up front. Over time I have found when we eat out that I am not enjoying it anyways that much. I would like to do more non-food activities in life. Now I try to eat at 11, lol.

    I also stopped going out with another friend as she always has to eat junk when she dines out and I hate doing that. If I eat a salad, she claims that I am not eating. Deciding on a place to eat was a problem. She claimed that I was fussy one time or the like. I remember rolling my eyes . I had to tell her that I like to eat healthy on my birthday. I am not a cake eater, either on that day. We both have birthdays a week apart and we used to celebrate together. I finally had to say that we are two different people. I don't enjoy having to have ice cream after mini golf either. Rather have fun with the golf and that be enough. Of course I didn't tell her about the mini golf. I did suggest we do non-food activities, however. Sometimes we change and have to move on in life.....
  • Mr_Healthy_Habits
    Mr_Healthy_Habits Posts: 12,588 Member
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    Once a coworker saw me eating my pumpkin seeds in the break room...

    She cut out a piece of her berry pie, brought it to me and said...

    Here, why don't you eat some real food instead of your bird food 😂😂😂
  • salleewins
    salleewins Posts: 2,308 Member
    edited December 2018
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    @kimny72 I don't think I have talked about my history with either friend on my food choices when going out with friends. It is most likely not that. One wasn't used to the new me and the other has a different way of doing things. Both can't respect and feel comfortable enough with my choices AND theirs. I have been out with a vegetarian friend who did ask a lot of questions before and it was annoying, but I tried my best to ignore because I enjoyed her company. I know in my heart that I probably have things that annoy people (food or non-food related, lol). That was in the days before ingredients were on the internet. Much easier now to get your questions answered before getting to the restaurant.
  • salleewins
    salleewins Posts: 2,308 Member
    edited December 2018
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    I have had to change my work hours recently to get away from a client on Sundays who insists on us splitting something while dining for lunch or dinner(she is trying to save money and is required to pay the bill). She also insists at McDonalds that if there is a special 2 for $5 that we do that as it is better than one sandwich for the same. She didn't want both sandwiches herself, even to save one for another day. I try and make it less expensive on her and bring my own protein powder or get a side salad and a coffee etc as we go through the drive thru. If we are out to a nice restaurant, she insists we split a huge meal of eggplant parm or something else since it is pricey and huge portioned. I felt pressured to go along with it because of the price. Well I got tired of the remarks like, "you can eat like this once in awhile (which turns out to be once a week)" or hearing " that's ridiculous" when I have gotten an apple instead of a cookie. Her health is very poor at age 88 and honestly it not a good example to me and I knew she was so set in her thinking that it probably would not change anytime soon. I really had to do what is best for me. I also know that she can afford more than she acts like she can (according to my boss and her own testimony once and I forget that). This is a lifestyle and I have about 35 pounds more to lose. I have done about the same in weight loss already. If I don't keep living differently while being the easy going fun loving person that I am, then I am going to stay this weight that I am or gain.
  • lauragreenbaum
    lauragreenbaum Posts: 1,017 Member
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    I know I'm in the minority here, but I don't understand why this was so horrible. Personally I agree that it's rude to comment on anyone's body type, but I really think the person who made the comment meant it as a compliment. He or she obviously doesn't know the OP's diet or why they are thin, but I think the overweight person sees the OP as someone they admire and probably wishes they were "skinny" too.
  • lkpducky
    lkpducky Posts: 16,739 Member
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    Noreenmarie1234 wrote: »
    salleewins wrote: »
    @Noreenmarie1234 I think it was because I didn't get more of a typical breakfast item. It was 10 am. I really didn't see anything I wanted that looked healthy and obviously they served the salad I got, already at that time. I think she got a breakfast panini. We probably said we were going to breakfast ahead of time and I didn't remember that, but still I saw nothing I wanted...... I didn't feel uncomfortable eating salad while she had breakfast.... Back then I didn't eat breakfast that late, anyways. It is like eating at 10:30 am by the time we got food. I probably should have said that up front. Over time I have found when we eat out that I am not enjoying it anyways that much. I would like to do more non-food activities in life. Now I try to eat at 11, lol.

    I also stopped going out with another friend as she always has to eat junk when she dines out and I hate doing that. If I eat a salad, she claims that I am not eating. Deciding on a place to eat was a problem. She claimed that I was fussy one time or the like. I remember rolling my eyes . I had to tell her that I like to eat healthy on my birthday. I am not a cake eater, either on that day. We both have birthdays a week apart and we used to celebrate together. I finally had to say that we are two different people. I don't enjoy having to have ice cream after mini golf either. Rather have fun with the golf and that be enough. Of course I didn't tell her about the mini golf. I did suggest we do non-food activities, however. Sometimes we change and have to move on in life.....

    Ahh I see! I also hate how everything has to be about food. Every time someone wanted to get together it is always let’s go to Denny’s, McDonald’s, to eat. We go ice skating hey let’s get hot cocoa and cookies, we go do ___ and always have to go out to eat when I’d much rather just do something fun and not have it always be around food. Definitely have had my friend group change since lifestyle change many years ago. I wish people wouldn’t think so much about what others are eating since when I spend time with people I focus on having a good time with them not what they are eating.

    @Noreenmarie1234 you and my husband are of the same mind. He has commented the same thing about people wanting to make get-togethers all about food. I admit I like eating out more than he does, and it took me awhile to adjust to our not going out to eat after a movie or concert or on a long walk through town. We do end up getting coffee instead sometimes (we find a place with good coffee) and I have a small bite to eat if hungry. Less eating out has helped with my weight loss so I am glad for that.

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