Some people just don't get it

13

Replies

  • SmithsonianEmpress
    SmithsonianEmpress Posts: 1,163 Member
    lkpducky wrote: »
    Or they think that once you're thin, you can go back to eating the old way and the weight won't come back. As though the diet was an antibiotic and the weight was a bacterial infection.

    ^^^this! Which is the theme of most people around me.
  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
    edited December 2018
    LetsBurnThis wrote: »
    Reading this post sipping on my lemon water, taking my thyroid medication and hating you all... Its a thing... But I will give your side a try, I have been logging my food, and riding out on my elliptical like the second coming of something big... LOL Last month during my stabilization month science told me I needed to eat 833 less calories out of my average 1500 calories a day to stop the weight gain. I said quietly to myself "Oh hell no! Hommie don't play that" and cleaned up my gently used (OK never used) elliptical for the deficit! No one is messing with my sugar free roasted almonds snack... I am willing to take up arms to defends them... *flexes*
    wmd1979 wrote: »
    I don't quite understand this post. Are you seriously trying to claim that your TDEE was 667 before you broke out your elliptical? Because if so, then no, there is no way that is correct. And who is this "science" that told you this?

    I'm a bit confused too, but probably something to do with @LetsBurnThis saying "taking my thyroid medication", though even that reason sounds incredible.
  • SmithsonianEmpress
    SmithsonianEmpress Posts: 1,163 Member
    seltzermint555 wrote: »
    MsBaz2018 wrote: »
    Have you ever seen a weight loss video or success story showing people eating apple fritters, chips, Mac and cheese? Nooo.
    They always show people in exercise clothes chopping fruits or blending veggies. No wonder lots of people don't get it (OK they don't want to get it but still)

    Such a good point. I have a friend who gains and loses the same 50-60 lb over and over, she's been doing this for a decade or more. When she is losing she's eating apples, turkey on a low carb tortilla, and salads without dressing. When she gains it back she eats pizza, croissants, cheesecake, and chicken pot pies with extra gravy all in the same dinner meal. It's all or nothing for her and she insists that I simply had a "metabolism change" and that's how I lost 130+ and have kept it off. She sees me with my 2 slices of thin crust pizza & unsweetened tea or a cookie and black coffee and exclaims, "WHAT!? You can't eat pizza when dieting".

    Your friend is mistaken.....sadly. One, you aren’t “dieting”. Two, cheesecake AND pizza...together....REALLY?!?!???

  • seltzermint555
    seltzermint555 Posts: 10,740 Member
    SmithsonianEmpress wrote: »
    seltzermint555 wrote: »
    MsBaz2018 wrote: »
    Have you ever seen a weight loss video or success story showing people eating apple fritters, chips, Mac and cheese? Nooo.
    They always show people in exercise clothes chopping fruits or blending veggies. No wonder lots of people don't get it (OK they don't want to get it but still)

    Such a good point. I have a friend who gains and loses the same 50-60 lb over and over, she's been doing this for a decade or more. When she is losing she's eating apples, turkey on a low carb tortilla, and salads without dressing. When she gains it back she eats pizza, croissants, cheesecake, and chicken pot pies with extra gravy all in the same dinner meal. It's all or nothing for her and she insists that I simply had a "metabolism change" and that's how I lost 130+ and have kept it off. She sees me with my 2 slices of thin crust pizza & unsweetened tea or a cookie and black coffee and exclaims, "WHAT!? You can't eat pizza when dieting".

    Your friend is mistaken.....sadly. One, you aren’t “dieting”. Two, cheesecake AND pizza...together....REALLY?!?!???

    Yes, and cornbread AND biscuits, bacon AND sausage for "brunch". Moderation isn't her thing, I guess!
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,179 Member
    My workplace
    and
    my household
    and
    my worship place
    all
    When I started losing weight and introducing people to myfitnesspal,
    other people started signing up with accounts and counting calories and losing weight.
    So weird.
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,173 Member
    JeromeBarry1 wrote: »
    My workplace
    and
    my household
    and
    my worship place
    all
    When I started losing weight and introducing people to myfitnesspal,
    other people started signing up with accounts and counting calories and losing weight.
    So weird.

    So . . . how do you talk to people, engage people, in a way that gets them moving in that direction, and doesn't turn them off? It would be great to be able to get people around me to be able to accomplish their goals . . . .
  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
    I've had two workmates show interest in the app. One barely used it for a day. The other one used it for a week. Must ask if she's still going.

    Lots of people sign up. The trick is to get them to keep using it and learning from it. I kind of think it takes a certain type of personality.

    The first workmate is a creature of habit and finds change difficult.

    The second workmate is great with technology, but a serial crash-dieter. I think if I give her the "Allow yourself treats in moderation" talk, she might have some success.

    I do enjoy debunking food and fitness myths in our group tea-break discussions. But there's a running joke I'm the fitness nazi, and I don't want to seem like nagging anyone too much more than I already seem to! :smiley:
  • JeromeBarry1
    JeromeBarry1 Posts: 10,179 Member
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    JeromeBarry1 wrote: »
    My workplace
    and
    my household
    and
    my worship place
    all
    When I started losing weight and introducing people to myfitnesspal,
    other people started signing up with accounts and counting calories and losing weight.
    So weird.

    So . . . how do you talk to people, engage people, in a way that gets them moving in that direction, and doesn't turn them off? It would be great to be able to get people around me to be able to accomplish their goals . . . .

    My hypothesis is that IF one known by all to have forever been an obese old XY could lose weight, the observer could. Such observers have been young adult XY, XX, and mature XY, XX. My introduction of mfp includes my pizza experiences and I make certain to include mention of the availability of sweets. There's always a way to solve anyone's unique problems.
  • AnnPT77
    AnnPT77 Posts: 34,173 Member
    JeromeBarry1 wrote: »
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    JeromeBarry1 wrote: »
    My workplace
    and
    my household
    and
    my worship place
    all
    When I started losing weight and introducing people to myfitnesspal,
    other people started signing up with accounts and counting calories and losing weight.
    So weird.

    So . . . how do you talk to people, engage people, in a way that gets them moving in that direction, and doesn't turn them off? It would be great to be able to get people around me to be able to accomplish their goals . . . .

    My hypothesis is that IF one known by all to have forever been an obese old XY could lose weight, the observer could. Such observers have been young adult XY, XX, and mature XY, XX. My introduction of mfp includes my pizza experiences and I make certain to include mention of the availability of sweets. There's always a way to solve anyone's unique problems.

    For whatever reason, that doesn't/didn't seem to work for me. My friends have seen me lose weight; if they ask how, I answer (not in exhaustively tedious turn-off detail unless they ask more questions). I don't think I've been a jerk about it.

    But it's mostly elicited the kinds of responses other have reported here: The "I couldn't do that" or "I have to cut carbs to lose weight" (from people who've been "cutting carbs" for years now, off and on, without losing much/any weight", or "I couldn't work out like you do" (even though I make clear that my activity level was consistent, fat and thin).

    One person did MFP/calorie counting for a while, with observably good results. That also had no impact on mutual friends who saw her and me have success.

    I was hoping you had some magic interpersonal trick that was working better . . . . ;)
  • CarvedTones
    CarvedTones Posts: 2,340 Member
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    JeromeBarry1 wrote: »
    AnnPT77 wrote: »
    JeromeBarry1 wrote: »
    My workplace
    and
    my household
    and
    my worship place
    all
    When I started losing weight and introducing people to myfitnesspal,
    other people started signing up with accounts and counting calories and losing weight.
    So weird.

    So . . . how do you talk to people, engage people, in a way that gets them moving in that direction, and doesn't turn them off? It would be great to be able to get people around me to be able to accomplish their goals . . . .

    My hypothesis is that IF one known by all to have forever been an obese old XY could lose weight, the observer could. Such observers have been young adult XY, XX, and mature XY, XX. My introduction of mfp includes my pizza experiences and I make certain to include mention of the availability of sweets. There's always a way to solve anyone's unique problems.

    For whatever reason, that doesn't/didn't seem to work for me. My friends have seen me lose weight; if they ask how, I answer (not in exhaustively tedious turn-off detail unless they ask more questions). I don't think I've been a jerk about it.

    But it's mostly elicited the kinds of responses other have reported here: The "I couldn't do that" or "I have to cut carbs to lose weight" (from people who've been "cutting carbs" for years now, off and on, without losing much/any weight", or "I couldn't work out like you do" (even though I make clear that my activity level was consistent, fat and thin).

    One person did MFP/calorie counting for a while, with observably good results. That also had no impact on mutual friends who saw her and me have success.

    I was hoping you had some magic interpersonal trick that was working better . . . . ;)

    It doesn't work for me either. I have had people say I convinced them that it worked and say it's just too hard for them to track everything. Others say they will look into it, but never really seem to. Then there are those who listen and seem to understand and agree, then start spouting nonsense from the most recent book/article they read. One of my coworkers seems like she is a new diet junkie. The odd thing is she knows it but keeps doing it, convinced that one day one will stick.
  • psychod787
    psychod787 Posts: 4,099 Member
    ataraxial wrote: »
    I get a lot of looks because I am "that person" who brings vegetables to potlucks. I'm in nursing school and I cannot understand for the life of me why we learn how to teach other people about health while bringing donuts to eat almost every day.

    Nurse here as well, except I only work with a "select" clientele. Lol
  • lyndajbowyer
    lyndajbowyer Posts: 22 Member
    Best thing to do with these kids of folks and their comments? Ignore them. This is YOUR weightloss and fitness journey, and absolutely NOTHING to do with them.
  • IsETHome
    IsETHome Posts: 386 Member
    xbowhunter wrote: »
    In my mind when some-one attempts to take a jab at my healthy weight then I am obliged to jab back. I keep my comments to myself but if you feel the need to lay it on me then be prepared to hear what I'm thinking... lol

    Comment: "You don't need to do that. You're skinny."

    Reply: "True & you obviously shouldn't eat any of it"... :)

    I hope you are joking, instead you might say that you consistently have to work at it and it’s outside your calorie range.
  • IsETHome
    IsETHome Posts: 386 Member
    LoPotion wrote: »
    I feel you. A few weeks ago, a coworker asked me what the biggest factor in my weight loss was. I got all awkward and said "counting calories." She scoffed and replied, "yeah, that's never gonna happen."

    For some reason, I felt embarrassed, like she was laughing at me. Maybe there was a more elegant response I could have given her. I get very uncomfortable when it comes to talking about my looks/physique, because I'm scared it'll look like I'm bragging.
    Sounds like she just didn’t have the interest, I don’t think her response was aimed at you, more her lack of desire.
  • paperpudding
    paperpudding Posts: 9,278 Member
    IsETHome wrote: »
    xbowhunter wrote: »
    In my mind when some-one attempts to take a jab at my healthy weight then I am obliged to jab back. I keep my comments to myself but if you feel the need to lay it on me then be prepared to hear what I'm thinking... lol

    Comment: "You don't need to do that. You're skinny."

    Reply: "True & you obviously shouldn't eat any of it"... :)

    I hope you are joking, instead you might say that you consistently have to work at it and it’s outside your calorie range.


    I agree. I hope it is joking or a comment not said out loud.

    Because, as was mentioned upthread, people often do friendly small talk about food and replying in deliberately snarky way seems completely unneccesary to me.

  • Orphia
    Orphia Posts: 7,097 Member
    paperpudding wrote: »
    IsETHome wrote: »
    xbowhunter wrote: »
    In my mind when some-one attempts to take a jab at my healthy weight then I am obliged to jab back. I keep my comments to myself but if you feel the need to lay it on me then be prepared to hear what I'm thinking... lol

    Comment: "You don't need to do that. You're skinny."

    Reply: "True & you obviously shouldn't eat any of it"... :)

    I hope you are joking, instead you might say that you consistently have to work at it and it’s outside your calorie range.


    I agree. I hope it is joking or a comment not said out loud.

    Because, as was mentioned upthread, people often do friendly small talk about food and replying in deliberately snarky way seems completely unneccesary to me.

    Not sure it was meant to be said out loud.

    But if it was, it might be OK if the "You don't need to do that. You're skinny" comment was snarky. I kind of got the impression it was. Not sure.

  • salleewins
    salleewins Posts: 2,308 Member
    I went out to eat with a friend last year (haven't been out with this friend since). It was 10 am. She got breakfast and I got more of a traditional lunch. She said she felt uncomfortable with my choice??? Mine was more healthy, btw. I don't care what time of day it is, I am going to eat what I want. Just like at home. I should be able to get what I want, wherever I go. We have gotten to be on 2 different wavelengths over time.
  • Noreenmarie1234
    Noreenmarie1234 Posts: 7,492 Member
    salleewins wrote: »
    I went out to eat with a friend last year (haven't been out with this friend since). It was 10 am. She got breakfast and I got more of a traditional lunch. She said she felt uncomfortable with my choice??? Mine was more healthy, btw. I don't care what time of day it is, I am going to eat what I want. Just like at home. I should be able to get what I want, wherever I go. We have gotten to be on 2 different wavelengths over time.

    Why would your choice at a restaurant make her "uncomfortable".... ?! Did she say why?
  • JohnnytotheB
    JohnnytotheB Posts: 361 Member
    Remember, misery loves company.
  • salleewins
    salleewins Posts: 2,308 Member
    @Noreenmarie1234 I think it was because I didn't get more of a typical breakfast item. It was 10 am. I really didn't see anything I wanted that looked healthy and obviously they served the salad I got, already at that time. I think she got a breakfast panini. We probably said we were going to breakfast ahead of time and I didn't remember that, but still I saw nothing I wanted...... I didn't feel uncomfortable eating salad while she had breakfast.... Back then I didn't eat breakfast that late, anyways. It is like eating at 10:30 am by the time we got food. I probably should have said that up front. Over time I have found when we eat out that I am not enjoying it anyways that much. I would like to do more non-food activities in life. Now I try to eat at 11, lol.

    I also stopped going out with another friend as she always has to eat junk when she dines out and I hate doing that. If I eat a salad, she claims that I am not eating. Deciding on a place to eat was a problem. She claimed that I was fussy one time or the like. I remember rolling my eyes . I had to tell her that I like to eat healthy on my birthday. I am not a cake eater, either on that day. We both have birthdays a week apart and we used to celebrate together. I finally had to say that we are two different people. I don't enjoy having to have ice cream after mini golf either. Rather have fun with the golf and that be enough. Of course I didn't tell her about the mini golf. I did suggest we do non-food activities, however. Sometimes we change and have to move on in life.....

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