Some people just don't get it
Replies
-
-
LetsBurnThis wrote: »Reading this post sipping on my lemon water, taking my thyroid medication and hating you all... Its a thing... But I will give your side a try, I have been logging my food, and riding out on my elliptical like the second coming of something big... LOL Last month during my stabilization month science told me I needed to eat 833 less calories out of my average 1500 calories a day to stop the weight gain. I said quietly to myself "Oh hell no! Hommie don't play that" and cleaned up my gently used (OK never used) elliptical for the deficit! No one is messing with my sugar free roasted almonds snack... I am willing to take up arms to defends them... *flexes*I don't quite understand this post. Are you seriously trying to claim that your TDEE was 667 before you broke out your elliptical? Because if so, then no, there is no way that is correct. And who is this "science" that told you this?
I'm a bit confused too, but probably something to do with @LetsBurnThis saying "taking my thyroid medication", though even that reason sounds incredible.0 -
I feel you. A few weeks ago, a coworker asked me what the biggest factor in my weight loss was. I got all awkward and said "counting calories." She scoffed and replied, "yeah, that's never gonna happen."
For some reason, I felt embarrassed, like she was laughing at me. Maybe there was a more elegant response I could have given her. I get very uncomfortable when it comes to talking about my looks/physique, because I'm scared it'll look like I'm bragging.15 -
My typical eating habits on a work day is to have a small breakfast and lunch so that I can have a big dinner with wine and dessert. My employer provides a large buffet lunch every day for us. Every day, I make a salad from the awesome salad bar. I get comments on that more often than I'd like....
"You're so good, just having a salad."
"That's why you're skinny, just eating salad."
"I wish I could be as healthy as you and just get salad."
"How can you eat just salad when there's quesadillas over here?"
I usually don't comment in return, but I'd like to say, "yeah, well you should see the strip steak, baked potato, two glasses of Cabernet, and bowl of ice cream I'm gonna crush later." But I don't. Too hard to explain.13 -
The biggest single thing I've learned from following this thread..is.. I am never ever going to comment on what someone is eating. Ever! In any situation.
It is something we all do and it is really weird..I think at work, coworkers might be struggling for something to say to one another. so stupid idle chit chat about what you're eating comes into play.5 -
Have you ever seen a weight loss video or success story showing people eating apple fritters, chips, Mac and cheese? Nooo.
They always show people in exercise clothes chopping fruits or blending veggies. No wonder lots of people don't get it (OK they don't want to get it but still)
Such a good point. I have a friend who gains and loses the same 50-60 lb over and over, she's been doing this for a decade or more. When she is losing she's eating apples, turkey on a low carb tortilla, and salads without dressing. When she gains it back she eats pizza, croissants, cheesecake, and chicken pot pies with extra gravy all in the same dinner meal. It's all or nothing for her and she insists that I simply had a "metabolism change" and that's how I lost 130+ and have kept it off. She sees me with my 2 slices of thin crust pizza & unsweetened tea or a cookie and black coffee and exclaims, "WHAT!? You can't eat pizza when dieting".10 -
seltzermint555 wrote: »Have you ever seen a weight loss video or success story showing people eating apple fritters, chips, Mac and cheese? Nooo.
They always show people in exercise clothes chopping fruits or blending veggies. No wonder lots of people don't get it (OK they don't want to get it but still)
Such a good point. I have a friend who gains and loses the same 50-60 lb over and over, she's been doing this for a decade or more. When she is losing she's eating apples, turkey on a low carb tortilla, and salads without dressing. When she gains it back she eats pizza, croissants, cheesecake, and chicken pot pies with extra gravy all in the same dinner meal. It's all or nothing for her and she insists that I simply had a "metabolism change" and that's how I lost 130+ and have kept it off. She sees me with my 2 slices of thin crust pizza & unsweetened tea or a cookie and black coffee and exclaims, "WHAT!? You can't eat pizza when dieting".
Your friend is mistaken.....sadly. One, you aren’t “dieting”. Two, cheesecake AND pizza...together....REALLY?!?!???
0 -
SmithsonianEmpress wrote: »seltzermint555 wrote: »Have you ever seen a weight loss video or success story showing people eating apple fritters, chips, Mac and cheese? Nooo.
They always show people in exercise clothes chopping fruits or blending veggies. No wonder lots of people don't get it (OK they don't want to get it but still)
Such a good point. I have a friend who gains and loses the same 50-60 lb over and over, she's been doing this for a decade or more. When she is losing she's eating apples, turkey on a low carb tortilla, and salads without dressing. When she gains it back she eats pizza, croissants, cheesecake, and chicken pot pies with extra gravy all in the same dinner meal. It's all or nothing for her and she insists that I simply had a "metabolism change" and that's how I lost 130+ and have kept it off. She sees me with my 2 slices of thin crust pizza & unsweetened tea or a cookie and black coffee and exclaims, "WHAT!? You can't eat pizza when dieting".
Your friend is mistaken.....sadly. One, you aren’t “dieting”. Two, cheesecake AND pizza...together....REALLY?!?!???
Yes, and cornbread AND biscuits, bacon AND sausage for "brunch". Moderation isn't her thing, I guess!1 -
I feel you. A few weeks ago, a coworker asked me what the biggest factor in my weight loss was. I got all awkward and said "counting calories." She scoffed and replied, "yeah, that's never gonna happen."
For some reason, I felt embarrassed, like she was laughing at me. Maybe there was a more elegant response I could have given her. I get very uncomfortable when it comes to talking about my looks/physique, because I'm scared it'll look like I'm bragging.
@LoPotion Hugs!
I felt the same way for such a long time.
I started to make sure whenever I mention "counting calories" I always frame it so that I say something like:
"I use a great app that makes calorie counting easy".
I make sure to affirm that it's "easy".
People are so put off by the words "calorie counting", or at least those of a certain age who think it's all spreadsheets or even logbooks and mental arithmetic.5 -
My workplace
and
my household
and
my worship place
all
When I started losing weight and introducing people to myfitnesspal,
other people started signing up with accounts and counting calories and losing weight.
So weird.
4 -
JeromeBarry1 wrote: »My workplace
and
my household
and
my worship place
all
When I started losing weight and introducing people to myfitnesspal,
other people started signing up with accounts and counting calories and losing weight.
So weird.
So . . . how do you talk to people, engage people, in a way that gets them moving in that direction, and doesn't turn them off? It would be great to be able to get people around me to be able to accomplish their goals . . . .2 -
I've had two workmates show interest in the app. One barely used it for a day. The other one used it for a week. Must ask if she's still going.
Lots of people sign up. The trick is to get them to keep using it and learning from it. I kind of think it takes a certain type of personality.
The first workmate is a creature of habit and finds change difficult.
The second workmate is great with technology, but a serial crash-dieter. I think if I give her the "Allow yourself treats in moderation" talk, she might have some success.
I do enjoy debunking food and fitness myths in our group tea-break discussions. But there's a running joke I'm the fitness nazi, and I don't want to seem like nagging anyone too much more than I already seem to!
2 -
Typical conversation people have with me. "How do I lose weight?" My answer, "burn more than you eat." Then,"Ok, well what about keto or IF? "Me, "sure, as long as you burn more than you eat." Them, " well i lost 50lbs o. = insert= diet here." Me, did you keep it off? Reply, "no." Well," are you willing to monitor what you eat and exercise?" Usual response, " no." Me, "good luck then." Lol11
-
JeromeBarry1 wrote: »My workplace
and
my household
and
my worship place
all
When I started losing weight and introducing people to myfitnesspal,
other people started signing up with accounts and counting calories and losing weight.
So weird.
So . . . how do you talk to people, engage people, in a way that gets them moving in that direction, and doesn't turn them off? It would be great to be able to get people around me to be able to accomplish their goals . . . .
My hypothesis is that IF one known by all to have forever been an obese old XY could lose weight, the observer could. Such observers have been young adult XY, XX, and mature XY, XX. My introduction of mfp includes my pizza experiences and I make certain to include mention of the availability of sweets. There's always a way to solve anyone's unique problems.3 -
I get a lot of looks because I am "that person" who brings vegetables to potlucks. I'm in nursing school and I cannot understand for the life of me why we learn how to teach other people about health while bringing donuts to eat almost every day.11
-
JeromeBarry1 wrote: »JeromeBarry1 wrote: »My workplace
and
my household
and
my worship place
all
When I started losing weight and introducing people to myfitnesspal,
other people started signing up with accounts and counting calories and losing weight.
So weird.
So . . . how do you talk to people, engage people, in a way that gets them moving in that direction, and doesn't turn them off? It would be great to be able to get people around me to be able to accomplish their goals . . . .
My hypothesis is that IF one known by all to have forever been an obese old XY could lose weight, the observer could. Such observers have been young adult XY, XX, and mature XY, XX. My introduction of mfp includes my pizza experiences and I make certain to include mention of the availability of sweets. There's always a way to solve anyone's unique problems.
For whatever reason, that doesn't/didn't seem to work for me. My friends have seen me lose weight; if they ask how, I answer (not in exhaustively tedious turn-off detail unless they ask more questions). I don't think I've been a jerk about it.
But it's mostly elicited the kinds of responses other have reported here: The "I couldn't do that" or "I have to cut carbs to lose weight" (from people who've been "cutting carbs" for years now, off and on, without losing much/any weight", or "I couldn't work out like you do" (even though I make clear that my activity level was consistent, fat and thin).
One person did MFP/calorie counting for a while, with observably good results. That also had no impact on mutual friends who saw her and me have success.
I was hoping you had some magic interpersonal trick that was working better . . . .
1 -
JeromeBarry1 wrote: »JeromeBarry1 wrote: »My workplace
and
my household
and
my worship place
all
When I started losing weight and introducing people to myfitnesspal,
other people started signing up with accounts and counting calories and losing weight.
So weird.
So . . . how do you talk to people, engage people, in a way that gets them moving in that direction, and doesn't turn them off? It would be great to be able to get people around me to be able to accomplish their goals . . . .
My hypothesis is that IF one known by all to have forever been an obese old XY could lose weight, the observer could. Such observers have been young adult XY, XX, and mature XY, XX. My introduction of mfp includes my pizza experiences and I make certain to include mention of the availability of sweets. There's always a way to solve anyone's unique problems.
For whatever reason, that doesn't/didn't seem to work for me. My friends have seen me lose weight; if they ask how, I answer (not in exhaustively tedious turn-off detail unless they ask more questions). I don't think I've been a jerk about it.
But it's mostly elicited the kinds of responses other have reported here: The "I couldn't do that" or "I have to cut carbs to lose weight" (from people who've been "cutting carbs" for years now, off and on, without losing much/any weight", or "I couldn't work out like you do" (even though I make clear that my activity level was consistent, fat and thin).
One person did MFP/calorie counting for a while, with observably good results. That also had no impact on mutual friends who saw her and me have success.
I was hoping you had some magic interpersonal trick that was working better . . . .
It doesn't work for me either. I have had people say I convinced them that it worked and say it's just too hard for them to track everything. Others say they will look into it, but never really seem to. Then there are those who listen and seem to understand and agree, then start spouting nonsense from the most recent book/article they read. One of my coworkers seems like she is a new diet junkie. The odd thing is she knows it but keeps doing it, convinced that one day one will stick.3 -
I get a lot of looks because I am "that person" who brings vegetables to potlucks. I'm in nursing school and I cannot understand for the life of me why we learn how to teach other people about health while bringing donuts to eat almost every day.
Nurse here as well, except I only work with a "select" clientele. Lol3 -
Best thing to do with these kids of folks and their comments? Ignore them. This is YOUR weightloss and fitness journey, and absolutely NOTHING to do with them.2
-
A family member pulled me aside the other day to confess that he had started a special program to lose 100 pounds. He wanted my opinion, since I have successfully kept weight off for several years. I looked at the sheets describing the products he was expected to buy - the cleanse, the vitamins, the powders and shakes - and just said "No." "But I lost 15 pounds the first week." "Still no." I tried to tell him that he didn't need drastic dietary restrictions or weekly cleanses, but he wants that magic bullet and figures if he pays more he'll have more success. I told him, "Eat what you enjoy, but eat less and move more." That's too simple, I guess. I hope my words made some impression, but I'm afraid they didn't.13
-
xbowhunter wrote: »In my mind when some-one attempts to take a jab at my healthy weight then I am obliged to jab back. I keep my comments to myself but if you feel the need to lay it on me then be prepared to hear what I'm thinking... lol
Comment: "You don't need to do that. You're skinny."
Reply: "True & you obviously shouldn't eat any of it"...
I hope you are joking, instead you might say that you consistently have to work at it and it’s outside your calorie range.1 -
Sounds like she just didn’t have the interest, I don’t think her response was aimed at you, more her lack of desire.I feel you. A few weeks ago, a coworker asked me what the biggest factor in my weight loss was. I got all awkward and said "counting calories." She scoffed and replied, "yeah, that's never gonna happen."
For some reason, I felt embarrassed, like she was laughing at me. Maybe there was a more elegant response I could have given her. I get very uncomfortable when it comes to talking about my looks/physique, because I'm scared it'll look like I'm bragging.
2 -
xbowhunter wrote: »In my mind when some-one attempts to take a jab at my healthy weight then I am obliged to jab back. I keep my comments to myself but if you feel the need to lay it on me then be prepared to hear what I'm thinking... lol
Comment: "You don't need to do that. You're skinny."
Reply: "True & you obviously shouldn't eat any of it"...
I hope you are joking, instead you might say that you consistently have to work at it and it’s outside your calorie range.
I agree. I hope it is joking or a comment not said out loud.
Because, as was mentioned upthread, people often do friendly small talk about food and replying in deliberately snarky way seems completely unneccesary to me.
3 -
paperpudding wrote: »xbowhunter wrote: »In my mind when some-one attempts to take a jab at my healthy weight then I am obliged to jab back. I keep my comments to myself but if you feel the need to lay it on me then be prepared to hear what I'm thinking... lol
Comment: "You don't need to do that. You're skinny."
Reply: "True & you obviously shouldn't eat any of it"...
I hope you are joking, instead you might say that you consistently have to work at it and it’s outside your calorie range.
I agree. I hope it is joking or a comment not said out loud.
Because, as was mentioned upthread, people often do friendly small talk about food and replying in deliberately snarky way seems completely unneccesary to me.
Not sure it was meant to be said out loud.
But if it was, it might be OK if the "You don't need to do that. You're skinny" comment was snarky. I kind of got the impression it was. Not sure.
3 -
I went out to eat with a friend last year (haven't been out with this friend since). It was 10 am. She got breakfast and I got more of a traditional lunch. She said she felt uncomfortable with my choice??? Mine was more healthy, btw. I don't care what time of day it is, I am going to eat what I want. Just like at home. I should be able to get what I want, wherever I go. We have gotten to be on 2 different wavelengths over time.4
-
salleewins wrote: »I went out to eat with a friend last year (haven't been out with this friend since). It was 10 am. She got breakfast and I got more of a traditional lunch. She said she felt uncomfortable with my choice??? Mine was more healthy, btw. I don't care what time of day it is, I am going to eat what I want. Just like at home. I should be able to get what I want, wherever I go. We have gotten to be on 2 different wavelengths over time.
Why would your choice at a restaurant make her "uncomfortable".... ?! Did she say why?4 -
Remember, misery loves company.1
-
@Noreenmarie1234 I think it was because I didn't get more of a typical breakfast item. It was 10 am. I really didn't see anything I wanted that looked healthy and obviously they served the salad I got, already at that time. I think she got a breakfast panini. We probably said we were going to breakfast ahead of time and I didn't remember that, but still I saw nothing I wanted...... I didn't feel uncomfortable eating salad while she had breakfast.... Back then I didn't eat breakfast that late, anyways. It is like eating at 10:30 am by the time we got food. I probably should have said that up front. Over time I have found when we eat out that I am not enjoying it anyways that much. I would like to do more non-food activities in life. Now I try to eat at 11, lol.
I also stopped going out with another friend as she always has to eat junk when she dines out and I hate doing that. If I eat a salad, she claims that I am not eating. Deciding on a place to eat was a problem. She claimed that I was fussy one time or the like. I remember rolling my eyes . I had to tell her that I like to eat healthy on my birthday. I am not a cake eater, either on that day. We both have birthdays a week apart and we used to celebrate together. I finally had to say that we are two different people. I don't enjoy having to have ice cream after mini golf either. Rather have fun with the golf and that be enough. Of course I didn't tell her about the mini golf. I did suggest we do non-food activities, however. Sometimes we change and have to move on in life.....3 -
salleewins wrote: »@Noreenmarie1234 I think it was because I didn't get more of a typical breakfast item. It was 10 am. I really didn't see anything I wanted that looked healthy and obviously they served the salad I got, already at that time. I think she got a breakfast panini. We probably said we were going to breakfast ahead of time and I didn't remember that, but still I saw nothing I wanted...... I didn't feel uncomfortable eating salad while she had breakfast.... Back then I didn't eat breakfast that late, anyways. It is like eating at 10:30 am by the time we got food. I probably should have said that up front. Over time I have found when we eat out that I am not enjoying it anyways that much. I would like to do more non-food activities in life. Now I try to eat at 11, lol.
I also stopped going out with another friend as she always has to eat junk when she dines out and I hate doing that. If I eat a salad, she claims that I am not eating. Deciding on a place to eat was a problem. She claimed that I was fussy one time or the like. I remember rolling my eyes . I had to tell her that I like to eat healthy on my birthday. I am not a cake eater, either on that day. We both have birthdays a week apart and we used to celebrate together. I finally had to say that we are two different people. I don't enjoy having to have ice cream after mini golf either. Rather have fun with the golf and that be enough. Of course I didn't tell her about the mini golf. I did suggest we do non-food activities, however. Sometimes we change and have to move on in life.....
So your friend was most likely uncomfortable with your choice because there is a history here of your relationship with your friends changing because of how you now eat.
I have a friend who decided to go vegan and she often has to make some odd choices or ask a lot of questions when we go out. It hasn't changed anything we do or where we go, I respect her choice and she goes out of her way to make sure she doesn't limit what we can do. I guess it doesn't work that way for everyone.
****
The Christmas season at work reminded me of this thread. There were lots of goodies and I got lots of little chocolate gifts, and I got lots of either "you're one of those healthy people, you probably hate this" or "it's a good thing you're skinny, you can afford to put on a few lbs". Both completely false, and both answered by me biting into a treat, smiling, saying merry Christmas and walking away
5 -
salleewins wrote: »@Noreenmarie1234 I think it was because I didn't get more of a typical breakfast item. It was 10 am. I really didn't see anything I wanted that looked healthy and obviously they served the salad I got, already at that time. I think she got a breakfast panini. We probably said we were going to breakfast ahead of time and I didn't remember that, but still I saw nothing I wanted...... I didn't feel uncomfortable eating salad while she had breakfast.... Back then I didn't eat breakfast that late, anyways. It is like eating at 10:30 am by the time we got food. I probably should have said that up front. Over time I have found when we eat out that I am not enjoying it anyways that much. I would like to do more non-food activities in life. Now I try to eat at 11, lol.
I also stopped going out with another friend as she always has to eat junk when she dines out and I hate doing that. If I eat a salad, she claims that I am not eating. Deciding on a place to eat was a problem. She claimed that I was fussy one time or the like. I remember rolling my eyes . I had to tell her that I like to eat healthy on my birthday. I am not a cake eater, either on that day. We both have birthdays a week apart and we used to celebrate together. I finally had to say that we are two different people. I don't enjoy having to have ice cream after mini golf either. Rather have fun with the golf and that be enough. Of course I didn't tell her about the mini golf. I did suggest we do non-food activities, however. Sometimes we change and have to move on in life.....
Ahh I see! I also hate how everything has to be about food. Every time someone wanted to get together it is always let’s go to Denny’s, McDonald’s, to eat. We go ice skating hey let’s get hot cocoa and cookies, we go do ___ and always have to go out to eat when I’d much rather just do something fun and not have it always be around food. Definitely have had my friend group change since lifestyle change many years ago. I wish people wouldn’t think so much about what others are eating since when I spend time with people I focus on having a good time with them not what they are eating.5
This discussion has been closed.
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.6K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.3K Health and Weight Loss
- 176K Food and Nutrition
- 47.5K Recipes
- 232.6K Fitness and Exercise
- 431 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.6K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.8K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions