Are you okay being a little overweight
ellioc2
Posts: 148 Member
Or would you rather go all the way and get to a “normal” BMI? Right now I’m a little overweight, and I’m wondering how detrimental it is to be staying at this spot. It makes me uncomfortable being in this limbo - I’d love to get to a “normal” healthy weight for my peace of mind, but it’s like my body is resisting any weight loss beyond this point.
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Replies
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Please gather your thoughts and discuss this with your treatment team at your upcoming appointment in a few days. Your doctor is the best judge of what's a healthy weight for you.
I'm so sorry things are so difficult for you right now; the important thing is to be clear with your team about your thoughts and concerns, and get the help you need.32 -
Your dietitian told you to put loss on the backburner. That should give you your answer.
You need to listen to your professional team.18 -
A healthy head space is more important than your weight right now.
You need to prioritize that, and your dietitian told you to put loss on the back burner because your focus on your weight is unhealthy.
Please shift your priorities to worrying about your mental health. Get that straightened out first. If you think that you'll just be fine if you sort out your weight first, you're wrong, and your treatment team who are experts know this. Follow their advice.
If you need to talk to someone sooner than your next appointment, I'd suggest contacting NEDA.
https://nationaleatingdisorders.org/help-support/contact-helpline10 -
Are you soly using the BMI as an indicator of what you want your weight to be and what is considered healthy? If so I highly encourage you to focus more on how you are feeling mentally+physically, what your doctor and/or another profession says and take steps to become healthy, not just thinner.0
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Dang girl. Okay, since you clearly won't accept "please get help" as a reply to your posts, I will answer sincerely.
Yes, I'm perfectly fine having a goal weight that is technically over the normal BMI range. It's taken a long time, a lot of treatment for my ED, and some just plain growing up to realize that I liked my body around 160-170 pounds (and not at 135 like when I was sick). It was a good weight for me and during the year that I maintained that weight, I felt good both physically and mentally. I've since gained a ton and am working on that as my ED changed and mutated into something else (aka from bulimia to binge eating without purging), but I'm not going to let my old hateful thoughts push me past that 160-170 goal. If I do decide to go lower it will be with the help of my doctor, my therapist, and maybe a personal trainer -- with the ultimate goal being to "tone up" so-to-speak rather than just lose more weight.
BMI is a suggestion for a healthy weight according to your height. It doesn't take into account the fact that we're human and not perfect. So, again, that means for you that getting treatment is your priority.
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Listen to your treatment team they can offer you better advice than we can4
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My short answer is, yes, I'm fine with it. I trust my body to tell me when I have lost all the weight I am meant to. I'm pushing 40, so I'm sure I'm not going to be the size I was at 20. That's just life, and I will accept it, but keep trying to be as healthy as I can.1
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Or would you rather go all the way and get to a “normal” BMI? Right now I’m a little overweight, and I’m wondering how detrimental it is to be staying at this spot. It makes me uncomfortable being in this limbo - I’d love to get to a “normal” healthy weight for my peace of mind, but it’s like my body is resisting any weight loss beyond this point.
Ask your treatment team6 -
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TavistockToad wrote: »Or would you rather go all the way and get to a “normal” BMI? Right now I’m a little overweight, and I’m wondering how detrimental it is to be staying at this spot. It makes me uncomfortable being in this limbo - I’d love to get to a “normal” healthy weight for my peace of mind, but it’s like my body is resisting any weight loss beyond this point.
Ask your treatment team
I think they’re okay with me losing 20 pounds
If that's the case, why did your dietitian tell you to put loss on a backburner?
Even if they are OK with it, that doesn't mean they're OK with it NOW. And you need to focus on the now.
Edit: And, I'll add, you need to ask your TEAM. Not here. You need professionals helping you right now, especially since you clearly don't want to listen to those of us who have been in the trenches. Ask your dietitian if she will be OK with you reaching out to you when you have questions outside of sessions, or if she can move you to once a week. Because you are not doing OK, and you need help that this forum cannot provide.7 -
Or would you rather go all the way and get to a “normal” BMI? Right now I’m a little overweight, and I’m wondering how detrimental it is to be staying at this spot. It makes me uncomfortable being in this limbo - I’d love to get to a “normal” healthy weight for my peace of mind, but it’s like my body is resisting any weight loss beyond this point.
My body feels uncomfortable when I'm overweight. Even when I wasn't weighing, I just suddenly knew when I was way over. At a certain point I can simply "feel" it. Then I jump into action.4 -
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collectingblues wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »Or would you rather go all the way and get to a “normal” BMI? Right now I’m a little overweight, and I’m wondering how detrimental it is to be staying at this spot. It makes me uncomfortable being in this limbo - I’d love to get to a “normal” healthy weight for my peace of mind, but it’s like my body is resisting any weight loss beyond this point.
Ask your treatment team
I think they’re okay with me losing 20 pounds
If that's the case, why did your dietitian tell you to put loss on a backburner?
Even if they are OK with it, that doesn't mean they're OK with it NOW. And you need to focus on the now.
I want the change now. It’s almost like a panic, like I want to rip the extra weight from my body. I hate it so much. And I hate always being on guard out in public in case anyone points it out. I feel like the extra weight I carry is an elephant in the room, and everyone is too kind to say anything but it’s blatantly obvious. To me, this is unsafe (being overweight). Losing the weight all mean I’m okay and safe in my body again.
And this is exactly why you need to speak to an ED therapist. Please get help15 -
You should be having this discussion with your treatment team as your thinking is very disordered at the moment.11
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Actually being slightly overweight is pretty low-risk. Obese is another story, but you're not obese. Listen to your treatment team. And take a break from here. Seeing everyone posting about burning calories and losing weight can't be helping.11
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collectingblues wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »Or would you rather go all the way and get to a “normal” BMI? Right now I’m a little overweight, and I’m wondering how detrimental it is to be staying at this spot. It makes me uncomfortable being in this limbo - I’d love to get to a “normal” healthy weight for my peace of mind, but it’s like my body is resisting any weight loss beyond this point.
Ask your treatment team
I think they’re okay with me losing 20 pounds
If that's the case, why did your dietitian tell you to put loss on a backburner?
Even if they are OK with it, that doesn't mean they're OK with it NOW. And you need to focus on the now.
I want the change now. It’s almost like a panic, like I want to rip the extra weight from my body. I hate it so much. And I hate always being on guard out in public in case anyone points it out. I feel like the extra weight I carry is an elephant in the room, and everyone is too kind to say anything but it’s blatantly obvious. To me, this is unsafe (being overweight). Losing the weight all mean I’m okay and safe in my body again.
This is disordered thinking that needs to be addressed. You need to get your head straight regarding this whole issue of body size, self-worth, and identity you have before you proceed. This is why people with experience have repeatedly been telling you that you need to speak with your team, you cannot get what you're seeking from these forums.
Trust me, right now, your thinking is FAR more unsafe than the weight you are concerned with.15 -
collectingblues wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »Or would you rather go all the way and get to a “normal” BMI? Right now I’m a little overweight, and I’m wondering how detrimental it is to be staying at this spot. It makes me uncomfortable being in this limbo - I’d love to get to a “normal” healthy weight for my peace of mind, but it’s like my body is resisting any weight loss beyond this point.
Ask your treatment team
I think they’re okay with me losing 20 pounds
If that's the case, why did your dietitian tell you to put loss on a backburner?
Even if they are OK with it, that doesn't mean they're OK with it NOW. And you need to focus on the now.
I want the change now. It’s almost like a panic, like I want to rip the extra weight from my body. I hate it so much. And I hate always being on guard out in public in case anyone points it out. I feel like the extra weight I carry is an elephant in the room, and everyone is too kind to say anything but it’s blatantly obvious. To me, this is unsafe (being overweight). Losing the weight all mean I’m okay and safe in my body again.
Please. Get. Help. Now.13 -
collectingblues wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »Or would you rather go all the way and get to a “normal” BMI? Right now I’m a little overweight, and I’m wondering how detrimental it is to be staying at this spot. It makes me uncomfortable being in this limbo - I’d love to get to a “normal” healthy weight for my peace of mind, but it’s like my body is resisting any weight loss beyond this point.
Ask your treatment team
I think they’re okay with me losing 20 pounds
If that's the case, why did your dietitian tell you to put loss on a backburner?
Even if they are OK with it, that doesn't mean they're OK with it NOW. And you need to focus on the now.
I want the change now. It’s almost like a panic, like I want to rip the extra weight from my body. I hate it so much. And I hate always being on guard out in public in case anyone points it out. I feel like the extra weight I carry is an elephant in the room, and everyone is too kind to say anything but it’s blatantly obvious. To me, this is unsafe (being overweight). Losing the weight all mean I’m okay and safe in my body again.
This is why you need PROFESSIONAL HELP now. THAT is the only change you need at the moment.6 -
Just want to add I'm in longtime recovery from Anorexia binge/purge and been through both inpatient and outpatient treatment. There is no way that your team would be happy with you losing 20 lbs right now. You are going down a very dangerous place. You do not want to end up with all of the health issues I now have (an ileostomy and a feeding tube) by hurting yourslef with your stinking thinking.16
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I'm sure they do since they see and have seen many, many patients. Your situation is not unique.8
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singingflutelady wrote: »I'm sure they do since they see and have seen many, many patients. Your situation is not unique.
I don’t have an eating disorder team. I just have a normal primary care provider and a dietician I called in for backup
The dietitian you see seems knowledgeable. Listen to what she says.5 -
singingflutelady wrote: »I'm sure they do since they see and have seen many, many patients. Your situation is not unique.
I don’t have an eating disorder team. I just have a normal primary care provider and a dietician I called in for backup
And have you ASKED either one of them what to do? Have you shown them your posts?
If you haven't, you have no idea what they think. You are presuming, because your ED brain is telling you that no one could possibly understand.
Again: Your dietitian told you to not focus on weight loss. SHE clearly has an opinion. You need to listen to it.
Get. Help.
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singingflutelady wrote: »I'm sure they do since they see and have seen many, many patients. Your situation is not unique.
I don’t have an eating disorder team. I just have a normal primary care provider and a dietician I called in for backup
Which is why everyone here is telling you to seek help from a team that deals with eating disorders!5 -
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want the change now. It’s almost like a panic, like I want to rip the extra weight from my body. I hate it so much. And I hate always being on guard out in public in case anyone points it out. I feel like the extra weight I carry is an elephant in the room, and everyone is too kind to say anything but it’s blatantly obvious. To me, this is unsafe (being overweight). Losing the weight all mean I’m okay and safe in my body again.collectingblues wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »Or would you rather go all the way and get to a “normal” BMI? Right now I’m a little overweight, and I’m wondering how detrimental it is to be staying at this spot. It makes me uncomfortable being in this limbo - I’d love to get to a “normal” healthy weight for my peace of mind, but it’s like my body is resisting any weight loss beyond this point.
Ask your treatment team
I think they’re okay with me losing 20 pounds
If that's the case, why did your dietitian tell you to put loss on a backburner?
Even if they are OK with it, that doesn't mean they're OK wit h it NOW. And you need to focus on the now.
Sweetie. Sweetie. Sweetie. You're not huge - I swear. I understand that you're thinking that, I do.
It's a tiny bit of extra weight, at most. You're OK. Really. You're safe, I promise. Granny promises, from the safety of decades' knowledge. Hugs!!
Curl up in the blankets. Breathe. You're OK. Push off the panic. Get warm, get cozy, get through the moment, however you can. Tell that guy of yours (very emphatically) that you need hugs and comfort, not instuctions, not weigh-ins. Assert yourself. That's strength.)
It's OK. You can hold on. Your appointments are so soon (I get that it seems like infinity!). Hold on: FInd your very own possible, amazing, stong way: It's in reach.16 -
Lillymoo01 wrote: »singingflutelady wrote: »I'm sure they do since they see and have seen many, many patients. Your situation is not unique.
I don’t have an eating disorder team. I just have a normal primary care provider and a dietician I called in for backup
Which is why everyone here is telling you to seek help from a team that deals with eating disorders!
I don’t know if I’m that far gone yet...
You don't know it but everyone reading yours posts does. You need professional help from someone with expertise in.eating disorders.10 -
singingflutelady wrote: »Just want to add I'm in longtime recovery from Anorexia binge/purge and been through both inpatient and outpatient treatment. There is no way that your team would be happy with you losing 20 lbs right now. You are going down a very dangerous place. You do not want to end up with all of the health issues I now have (an ileostomy and a feeding tube) by hurting yourslef with your stinking thinking.
I don’t think they know what to do with me
I'm sure there are tens, if not hundreds, of therapists within driving distance of you who know what to do with you. It's up to you to actually seek one out. And no, you're neither ok nor are you safe.8 -
collectingblues wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »Or would you rather go all the way and get to a “normal” BMI? Right now I’m a little overweight, and I’m wondering how detrimental it is to be staying at this spot. It makes me uncomfortable being in this limbo - I’d love to get to a “normal” healthy weight for my peace of mind, but it’s like my body is resisting any weight loss beyond this point.
Ask your treatment team
I think they’re okay with me losing 20 pounds
If that's the case, why did your dietitian tell you to put loss on a backburner?
Even if they are OK with it, that doesn't mean they're OK with it NOW. And you need to focus on the now.
I want the change now. It’s almost like a panic, like I want to rip the extra weight from my body. I hate it so much. And I hate always being on guard out in public in case anyone points it out. I feel like the extra weight I carry is an elephant in the room, and everyone is too kind to say anything but it’s blatantly obvious. To me, this is unsafe (being overweight). Losing the weight all mean I’m okay and safe in my body again.
Tell this to your therapist ... not us.7
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