Help! My spouse is an enabler!

Men just don't seem to get it that we burn a LOT less calories than they do. My bf can down a whole day's worth of my calories at a single meal, and he has 10% body fat. Yet he can't keep up wityh me on the jogging trail! I find myself struggling with the same thing you are here. I save for cheat days, when I am with him, and that's how it is going so far.... Not the best solution...

Doesn't sound like he forced you to eat it.

My OH eats pizza and fried chicken I just choose not too, if you are at work and someone brings in something do you eat it?

Ultimatly at the end of the day it is your decision what you eat, if he made pizza, or brought cookies it doesn't mean you have to eat them.

I have been dealing with the same issue. During the weekdays, my fiance works away, so he isn't home.. It's the weekends that are my problem. I get totally sidetracked especially with my exercise. Honestly though, I've definitely gotten much stronger willpower against food, I am amazed. You really need to just stick to your guns. If you are gonna have that cookie, then you better schedule in some time for an extra exercise. Until you can control your cravings, there really is not much you can do. You can't force your husband to be understanding of your situation, because he has never dealt with it before. All you can continue to do is explain to him how much he is hurting your progress every time he asks for the junk. Try to implement more healthy ingredients when he wants to make a homemade pizza, whole wheat crust, low fat mozzerella. There are plenty of ways to make that junk food still look like junk food in his eyes, but be low in calories for you. It's all about compromise. He needs to bend a little to help you out, and I'm sure he will be willing to try. Good luck..

Gotta get tough if you want a healthy body, an enabler has no power on his own only if you allow them power do they actually have it.

I agree with dmpizza, about the eating in secret part, now that wouldn't really be fair would it?:laugh:

It takes time for others to get used to the idea of us changing our habits, and if he's not interested in changing his, that would be up to him right? No different than if he told you that you couldn't bring healthy food into the house.

We all have to decide....how bad do we WANT IT?? ...the health, not the food!

You just need to let him know you appreciate his thoughtfulness and his kind gestures, but he's not helping you attain your goals. If he doesn't understand or stop, he may be trying to sabotage you. Maybe he thinks you want to lose weight for reasons other than being healthy? Not sure, but he should understand and cut back or stop bringing you or making you foods he knows you can't resist. Just MHO.

My husband walks to a neighborhood water ice place EVERY NIGHT and buys himself water ice. He offers it to me every time out of politeness. I always say no. He's 6'2" and weighs 153. He never tries to force me to eat anything, but he still buys stuff that is tempting to me (crackers, pretzels). Sometimes I eat it, sometimes I don't. I certainly can't force my tall thin hubby to diet with me!!!

I feel your pain. I have been trying to change my eating habits going on my third month. The first month was easy because I felt I could conquer the world and what everyone else ate didn't bother me. The second month I was craving, and seeing that the food or drinks was there I'd have a bite or just a drink and then I wanted more the next day and by the end of the month I was back to drinking soda again . I made me feel like such a loser. Why couldn't I do it? The I realized after I was weighed and only lost a few lbs. that month that anyone in my circumstance would have done the same thing. My husband has agreed to keep sweets out of the house as of now but he said he won't give up his soda. He just doesn't understand how I will end up drinking it if it's here. If he would realize how much better he would feel without drinking it he would stop.

I'm sorry you have to struggle, but I think you saying take it with you is probably the best way to deal with it. I am as well a SAHM and work out of my home as a photographer. It is hard when we don't go out and have the foods easy and within reach. Seems at times it calls my name when it shouldn't. It nags at me until I finally cave. I make sure now that the food that speaks to me this time around is food that is better for me. This is my first time dieting/changing the way I eat and I'm am learning so much from here and friends. I hope to be able to carry this kind of thinking about food for life.

This month my frame of mind is back to not drinking the soda. So day 4 without having it. I just have to make sure I have a lot of other good things to drink. Maybe one day I will be able to not crave it ever again. Until then I'll say moderation is the key.

Good luck and I wish you well.

Hugs n Luvs

Misty

Good luck with your self control. If he isn't dieting, and wants to cook a homemmade pizza....that is fine. I am wishing you the best of luck with this. : ) I really am! But, remember, just because YOU are dieting .....doesnt ,mean everyone else has to be. Cooking healthier for the whole family is great....buying groceries that are healthy..is also great.... Having healthy snacks around for the family will make them realize that they may ACTUALLY like this stuff!! : ) Also, there is a recipe for low cal oatmeal cookies floating around on MFP....look it up. See if your husband likes them. I even read about cauliflower pizza being delicious! I looked that up and it look like a real pizza! lol
He probably shouldnt have brought those cookies home...he should have been more considerate on that one...lol. BUt, have things in your house that you can eat instead! It is all about choices..... Noone can blame somone else for eating a slice of pizza, eating ice cream etc. I've been there...I would get mad because my in laws would invite us to dinner and they would have cake etc...knowing we were all dieting....but, that is life. It was my issue if I didnt have enough will power to eat a small slice....or to say no. WE all need to realize that we are responsible for ourselves....: ) We have to learn to have will power!!! : ) We can do it!!! You can do it!; )

I hear ya! It does not matter how much I say it everyone around me eats what they eat! I still eat the bad stuff and loose weight I just have to eat in moderation. When it come to me wanting a specific goal I pack all my meals and eat separately from everyone else. I pack my own foods and I don't think about there food. If I have an urge that bad than I take it as a loss and try to work it off or change for the next meal. I have been doing this since January and I have made it this far. Now I have a goal right now to work on a flatter belly and I am working on this till September 1st so I already told my husband to plan his own meals for dinner cause I am watching until then. Only clean foods for me and if I put anything different into my mouth its my own fault. You can do it and do not telly yourself otherwise! Us as people who are watching there weight will have to come above others and no matter what it will be hard but you can do it! I know its hard to hear others tell you to deal with it but unfortunately we have to. I choose to quit smoking and have been smoke free since April but I don't tell others to quit. Its there choice not mine although I would wish them to do the healthy thing, my friends still smoke and as much as I would like to join in to there smoking I do not as a choice. Use this as a way to channel your wants and exercise harder it will help. Find something that helps you not think about it!

Are there some treats that he likes that you dont like or are not that tempted by? Have him just try to buy those, if so. Another solution would be to have him have a box in the pantry with his junk food that you can't see into and know nothing about. He could also try not to eat those goodies in front of you....or only buy enough so that there's just a small portion for him. That's all I got. We've been doing some of these ideas with my DH, who is also on the skinny side but loves junk.

Most of all, I think it's important to buildup will power against temptation. Someone mentioned earlier that no one is forcing you and that's true. We have to live in a world full of temptation (outside of our door) but it does make it so much easier not to have temptation sleeping in bed next to you