Motivation confusion

There's no hierarchy of moral reasons to want to be active. If you want to work out to look good then that's fine. Yes, euro-centric, fat phobic, gender-binary beauty standards are a load of bull, but wanting to look and feel attractive is normal and human. You don't need to justify or apologise for that.

On the other hand aesthetic goals can be a long time coming around so you're right that other goals are a good idea! You can make them habit based, buying a calendar and some cute animal stickers was a thing I did so I could chart if I was making my 4/week gym sessions in a fun way. Making the gym a habit is the best way to guarantee you'll keep it up on those days when motivation just doesn't exist.

I don't know what your workouts consist of but whether it's cardio (time or distance PB's), weights (total weight or 1rep max) or circuits (more circuits/ less rest) there are ways to track your progress and keep pushing yourself. Progress for progress' sake can be satisfying all by itself. You do have to enjoy what you're doing tho!

puffbrat wrote: »

I have had so many motivations for exercising in the past. Now I mainly do it for 2 reasons: 1) to more easily do outdoor activities with my husband and son, and 2) I physically feel so much better. I'm still vain and want to look smaller and tighter. But right I'm in a phase of life where I really love how I FEEL when I exercise regularly. I love being able to go for a walk or hike without having to stop or being out of breath. I love being able to pick up boxes and help my husband move furniture without struggling. I love feeling like I'm standing up straighter and not having lower back pain at night.

This is me too. I really LOVE it when I can look in the mirror and see a flat tummy. However, that rarely happens (or it doesn't stay flat all day...). It takes time to reconcile your beauty and how you see yourself with what the world is telling you to look like. I think I work every day at better self talk. My tummy isn't always flat, but I had three gigantic babies years ago who stretched it beyond what I thought a body could do. I fit into my clothes well, I can swim for an hour nonstop easily, I lift weights and have been complimented by. my trainer that I'm doing it well, I can sign up for a 10K race with my sister any time and just do it. I think @puffbrat has it right. Focus on what a strong body can do for you. As I get older, I am encountering more and more people who can't do the things they want to do. They either won't work for it, or illness or injury prevents it. I was gifted a strong body. You bet I'm going to take care of it and give it the love it deserves A flat tummy doesn't make me any more worthy.