Can women lift weights without getting broad shoulders

UmaMageswarymfp
UmaMageswarymfp Posts: 280 Member
edited December 19 in Fitness and Exercise
Heyyy, so I know this is can sound crazy but I’m speaking from experience only. So few years back when I was obese my coach asked me to do a lot of cardio and weight training in order to lose weight. Back then my shoulders wasn’t that brought and it looked feminine but the second I started using dumbbells to lose shoulders fat , my shoulders became super broad which is making me look ginormous now . Now my coach said you have to start lifting weight in order to speed up the weight loss process and *kitten* but I have major trust issues because of my past experience. What should I do now ughhh
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Replies

  • littlegreenparrot1
    littlegreenparrot1 Posts: 702 Member
    Go for it, they will look better as you develop more muscle tone.
    You can always change rack if you decide it's not for you. It would be a shame to not try something that could be helpful on the off chance it won't work.
  • Anna022119
    Anna022119 Posts: 547 Member
    quiksylver296 wrote: »
    lorrpb wrote: »
    The width of the shoulders is based on your skeletal structure, I, e, Bones. Your bone size doesn't change with dumbbells or anything else. I also feel bad that you think broad shoulders do not look feminine. That seems like a judgment against a lot of women.

    Right?!? My shoulders are one of my favorite parts. Yay for heavy lifting!

    Second that! Am working my socks off to actually get some muscle. It doesn't happen that easily.
  • jemhh
    jemhh Posts: 14,261 Member
    When we lift weights, it's normal to have water weight gain, which is related to the muscle repair process. This is what people often see and confuse with gaining muscle quickly. Depending on where you hold fat, certain parts of your body might look/feel bigger in the short term. If you continue to eat in a deficit, however, they will shrink. Always keep the long term plan in mind. Don't get derailed by the short term.
  • kami3006
    kami3006 Posts: 4,979 Member
    UmaMageswarymfp wrote: »
    Omg I did not mean to hurt anyone’s feeling , I just personally don’t like broad shoulders because it makes ME look less feminine. Most women can pull of broad shoulders and I’m not one of them . That’s because I’m still overweight and imagine overweight + broad shoulders + really tall . Not a good combo right ? Exactly 😭

    No offense taken. :) Feminine and attractive are subjective.

    I have found weight training to make me look smaller overall. The bits I have that are larger I specifically trained for. It was by no means accidental.
  • Teabythesea_
    Teabythesea_ Posts: 559 Member
    UmaMageswarymfp wrote: »
    Omg I did not mean to hurt anyone’s feeling , I just personally don’t like broad shoulders because it makes ME look less feminine. Most women can pull of broad shoulders and I’m not one of them . That’s because I’m still overweight and imagine overweight + broad shoulders + really tall . Not a good combo right ? Exactly 😭

    Your shoulders likely aren't as broad as you think they are. Give it time, lose some of the weight and then once you see what you look like without the additional weight you can assess your body's composition and work on changing/accentuating certain parts.
  • UmaMageswarymfp
    UmaMageswarymfp Posts: 280 Member
    Teabythesea_ wrote: »
    UmaMageswarymfp wrote: »
    Omg I did not mean to hurt anyone’s feeling , I just personally don’t like broad shoulders because it makes ME look less feminine. Most women can pull of broad shoulders and I’m not one of them . That’s because I’m still overweight and imagine overweight + broad shoulders + really tall . Not a good combo right ? Exactly 😭

    Your shoulders likely aren't as broad as you think they are. Give it time, lose some of the weight and then once you see what you look like without the additional weight you can assess your body's composition and work on changing/accentuating certain parts.

    I really hope that’s the case
  • UmaMageswarymfp
    UmaMageswarymfp Posts: 280 Member
    kami3006 wrote: »
    UmaMageswarymfp wrote: »
    Omg I did not mean to hurt anyone’s feeling , I just personally don’t like broad shoulders because it makes ME look less feminine. Most women can pull of broad shoulders and I’m not one of them . That’s because I’m still overweight and imagine overweight + broad shoulders + really tall . Not a good combo right ? Exactly 😭

    No offense taken. :) Feminine and attractive are subjective.

    I have found weight training to make me look smaller overall. The bits I have that are larger I specifically trained for. It was by no means accidental.


    That’s true , I’m sorry.
  • musicfan68
    musicfan68 Posts: 1,143 Member
    UmaMageswarymfp wrote: »
    Omg I did not mean to hurt anyone’s feeling , I just personally don’t like broad shoulders because it makes ME look less feminine. Most women can pull of broad shoulders and I’m not one of them . That’s because I’m still overweight and imagine overweight + broad shoulders + really tall . Not a good combo right ? Exactly 😭

    I don't think you hut anyone's feelings. People are just saying that your perception may be off. You don't get broader shoulders by lifting weights. Period. You get more defined muscles which always looks nice, and certainly doesn't make you look masculine. As you lose weight, your shoulders actually get smaller because of fat loss.

    And you don't lose shoulder fat by lifting weights, you lose it by eating at a calorie deficit.
  • UmaMageswarymfp
    UmaMageswarymfp Posts: 280 Member
    musicfan68 wrote: »
    UmaMageswarymfp wrote: »
    Omg I did not mean to hurt anyone’s feeling , I just personally don’t like broad shoulders because it makes ME look less feminine. Most women can pull of broad shoulders and I’m not one of them . That’s because I’m still overweight and imagine overweight + broad shoulders + really tall . Not a good combo right ? Exactly 😭

    I don't think you hut anyone's feelings. People are just saying that your perception may be off. You don't get broader shoulders by lifting weights. Period. You get more defined muscles which always looks nice, and certainly doesn't make you look masculine. As you lose weight, your shoulders actually get smaller because of fat loss.

    And you don't lose shoulder fat by lifting weights, you lose it by eating at a calorie deficit.

    Understood
  • RunsWithBees
    RunsWithBees Posts: 1,508 Member
    UmaMageswarymfp wrote: »
    Omg I did not mean to hurt anyone’s feeling , I just personally don’t like broad shoulders because it makes ME look less feminine. Most women can pull of broad shoulders and I’m not one of them . That’s because I’m still overweight and imagine overweight + broad shoulders + really tall . Not a good combo right ? Exactly 😭

    I have structurally wide shoulders and I’m an inch shy of 6 ft tall so I understand what you are saying. My shoulders and arms have always been thin except when I was obese. I lost 43 lbs and my arms were one of the last places I lost fat. I lost weight by eating within my calorie allowance and doing cardio like walking, hiking, running, biking and swimming. Lift if you are interested in doing it but it’s not required to lose weight, a calorie deficit is all you really need.
  • UmaMageswarymfp
    UmaMageswarymfp Posts: 280 Member
    monkeefan1974 wrote: »
    UmaMageswarymfp wrote: »
    Omg I did not mean to hurt anyone’s feeling , I just personally don’t like broad shoulders because it makes ME look less feminine. Most women can pull of broad shoulders and I’m not one of them . That’s because I’m still overweight and imagine overweight + broad shoulders + really tall . Not a good combo right ? Exactly 😭

    I have structurally wide shoulders and I’m an inch shy of 6 ft tall so I understand what you are saying. My shoulders and arms have always been thin except when I was obese. I lost 43 lbs and my arms were one of the last places I lost fat. I lost weight by eating within my calorie allowance and doing cardio like walking, hiking, running, biking and swimming. Lift if you are interested in doing it but it’s not required to lose weight, a calorie deficit is all you really need.

    OMG YESSSS THANK YOU
  • cwolfman13
    cwolfman13 Posts: 41,865 Member
    UmaMageswarymfp wrote: »
    Omg I did not mean to hurt anyone’s feeling , I just personally don’t like broad shoulders because it makes ME look less feminine. Most women can pull of broad shoulders and I’m not one of them . That’s because I’m still overweight and imagine overweight + broad shoulders + really tall . Not a good combo right ? Exactly 😭

    Lifting weights doesn't make your shoulders broad...that's a bone structure thing, and that doesn't change with lifting weights. You either have broad shoulders or you do not...you can't make them more broad or less broad.
  • h7463
    h7463 Posts: 626 Member
    edited January 2019
    [quote=

    Lifting weights doesn't make your shoulders broad...that's a bone structure thing, and that doesn't change with lifting weights. You either have broad shoulders or you do not...you can't make them more broad or less broad.[/quote]

    Add some muscle to the bones with lifting, and those shoulders will stand out just a bit! On the bright side: it makes my backside appear much smaller...and I like that a lot... :)
  • Chieflrg
    Chieflrg Posts: 9,097 Member
    Literature suggest that men or woman with broad shoulders & a smaller waist will respond to training better.

    That being said the exact opposite, men or woman wirh narrow shoulders and wider waist respond less than average.

    If your coach is suggesting that you lose fat in certain areas by doing a specific lift, he/she is wrong and I would suggest looking for a more experienced trainer.

    If your want less of a hypertrophy response, then simply do less volume of the lift (this case shoulders with the pressing or contracting motion).

  • jjpptt2
    jjpptt2 Posts: 5,650 Member
    I certainly think you can lift, but do it smartly based on your goals and preferences (minimal direct shoulder work, lower volume, etc).
  • jesspen91
    jesspen91 Posts: 1,383 Member
    Probably what has happened is that you have lost weight on your lower body and your shoulders now just look bigger in comparison. If you are still carrying fat around your shoulders they will reduce as you continue to lose weight if your shoulders are bone that's just how your structure is and you won't be able to change this other than to gain muscle on your lower body to add some balance.

    I am an inverted triangle shape so my shoulders will always be wider than my hips. I have learned to accept them.
  • littlebear0121
    littlebear0121 Posts: 1,073 Member
    I have always had broad shoulders--the limiting factor in buying any shirt, dress, or jacket has always been my shoulders. However, in the past year I've lost a little over 20 pounds. I do lift about 3 times a week and the cardio that I do every day (nordic walking and skiing) is also working my shoulders. With that modest weight loss, my shoulders are actually less broad (I lost fat there.)
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