Living with my boyfriend is making me fat!

I can relate girlfriend! I eat so much better when my bf is not around. He is a junk food eater (I mean he eats like a 12 year old). I USE to be a junk food eater but now I keep the crap out of my house because I don't want the temptation. However, when he is here eating licorice or chips or cookies I find myself having one (or two!). It makes me crazy.

One thing I do around our meals that we share is that I make healthy dinners but I give him twice as much or I sometimes skip the carbs/starch part that I have made for him. So I will grill a protein, have some veggies and then make some pasta, rice or potatos for him. I also pass salads off as meals but I can't do that too often or he starts to rebel:>)

Good luck!

I have the same problem! My boyfriend & I have been together for 7 years and we looove to eat! It's become our favorite thing to do. He has a really picky family so all he ever ate before he met me was junk, but I got him to try many different styles of cuisine (japanese, indian, mexican, etc.) so trying out different restaurants and foods has just become something we love to do together! I always find that I end up sacrificing "being good" to dine out because he really enjoys it (just like I do), and I don't want to give that up! However, since I've joined this site, we still go out to eat but I'll always look online for a menu of the restaurant and choose something reasonable and within my calorie range.

Another thing my boyfriend & I love to do is make food at home! Nachos, tuna melts, ceasar salad, shrimp spaghetti - lots of yummy stuff! We don't do it as often now, but when we do make something, we choose healthier ingredients (for example, when we do nachos - we'll get low fat cheese, extra lean ground beef or even chicken, non-fat sour cream, LOTS of veggies, etc). He is very supportive of me wanting to lose weight and he is totally game for making healthier choices! One thing that is different though is that he is trying to get more fit (he is by no means overweight but he wants to build muscle and tone his body) so we have an exercise bike and a weight bench in the basement and we work out together. That's a good way to keep me motivated knowing that he is trying to get in shape too - I would suggest, since ur boyfriend isn't working out, maybe just come up with a few activities that are a bit more active. If it's nice weather out, ask him to take a walk with you (even to go get ice cream, and then just get frozen yogurt or something healthy when u get there!) Go to the zoo, if you have a dog, take him/her to the park on the weekend and play ball or frisbee. There are a lot of great ways to incorporate activity into your life that are fun and not boring!

I know this is very long but I feel your pain and hopefully this helps a bit

I dont live with my bf, but we eat together alot! what i do is make some kind of meat dish for dinner, chicken, steak, fish. He and i both have that and a salad, and i usually make a vegetable which i also eat. Then for him I add garlic bread (the texas toast frozen kind) maybe some instant mashed pototoes, stuff like that. and i just resist those things!

Definitely work on cooking healthy meals you can share, but you can vary each of your portions. Never had this problem, but I'm assuming controlled weight gain needs to be done with healthy foods too, right?

I'm pretty lucky in this area since my husband wants to eat healthy and is trying to drop a few lbs too...but one thing we've done is take after-dinner bike rides instead of vegging on the couch, but after a long day of work, I usually do have to prod him to get up and go....

I have a somewhat similar situation... My boyfriend is fabulous but when we first started dating, I gained 25 lbs in the first 6 months. :grumble: I was eating the same things and quanitites he was! It was getting a little ridiculous so now I am here. He is very supportive of me and has grown accustomed to our more healthy lifestyle. :smooched:

Here is what we do:

I make a menu plan every week. This way, we never fight about what we are going to eat. He is a very picky eater so he won't eat vegetables. I usually buy the steamer bags or individual servings (frozen) of the vegetables and make them for myself. If I make a big bag, I munch off it all week. Our menu always has variety but I tweek some of the things we used to eat... Instead of spaghetti with beef, I make turkey meatballs and I have a salad with low fat dressing before the meal. He knows to give me smaller serving sizes now as well. I think the best thing for us is in the menu and before I make it, I ask him what he wants for dinner. That way, he has an input. I also have a "cheat day" once a week, nothing like 3,000 calories or anything but if I want Pizza Hut, we get Pizza Hut. Some weeks for my cheat day, I put "Greg's choice" on that day and he can pick whatever or we go out to eat. This way, he can get his fix and I can usually find something decent on the menu.

If you want to make this a habit, exercise will have to be incorporated some how. I usually go early in the morning. That way, I can still get my snuggling on the couch fix. I do Zumba twice a week, Tuesdays and Wednesdays so that is his night to make supper. By the time I get home and showered, supper is all ready

Lastly, if this is something you want to do - you will need to sit down with him and explain your plans. If he loves you, he will be supportive. You have to tell him that you need his support, don't just expect him to understand by assumptions. Good Luck!

I have had pretty much the same problem and will just kinda ditto what other folks have been saying. My boyfriend likes to eat meat and potatoes kind of stuff, so he could care less if we have salad or veggies with dinner. I make them anyway and just eat more of the salad/veggies and eat a smaller portion of meat and may not even eat any starches we have or will just eat a smaller portion, depending on what I have decided is within my calorie budget for that meal.
In terms of snacks, I like to make sure I have plenty of healthy snacks on hand, because my bf loves to snack on cookies at night and I can't resist eating when he's eating cookies. So, I try to eat something healthy that stil seems like a bit of a treat and I just budget for that in my daily calories.
My bf actually has no interest in regular gym workouts but does like to hike, so we will sometimes do this together. But three nights a week I am taking a boot camp class and he just does whatever he normally does at home during that time. I've tried working out at home and I've found it impossible to motivate myself to workout when he just wants to sit and watch tv, so I joined a scheduled workout class and have found it much easier to stick with.

Hi there! I can understand your situation. I put on about 8 lbs when My Sailor moved up! I FINALLY have almost lost them.
Don't be afraid of conflict. Losing weight is all about making your health your number 1 priority. Anyone who loves you is going to want to support you in this (besides, he gets a super hot girlfriend out of it, right?! ).

Here's what worked for me:

1) EAT AT THE DINING ROOM TABLE - if you currently eat in front of the television or with a screen on, you're not making the meal or spending time together as a focus. This means you're probably overeating and not realizing it, and you're robbing yourselves of quality time together. Limit eating in front of a screen to once a week. Then it turns into a "fun" event, rather than the "norm." (It'll also help you not want to eat out of bordem every time the TV is on. ). My Sailor and I ALWAYS eat breakfast together and we're making a real effort to eat without the TV on several times a week. Having some music playing sets the mood pretty well and makes for less silence, if you're worried about having enough to talk about. : ) Add a candle or two and you have romance right there!

2) COOK TOGETHER. Make a BIG salad together that will last for a day or two. You can make it together to get more of that "quality time" I referenced above. Cooking together can be fun and it keeps you both on the same page as far as what's in your food prep. You both can munch on it during meals, and if you make it in a big bowl, rather than plate by plate, you'll be able to control your portion size, and he can control his.
Focus on LEAN meats and LEAN meat prep. In my experience, guys are MORE than happy to man the grill! Again, YOU control your portion size. if you're done before him, then you're done before him. Sip at your drink and chat.

3) OFFER TO TAKE OVER COOKING ONE MEAL PER DAY. I'm lucky. My Sailor is a GREAT cook and he's really learned some healthy, quick meal tricks! So I usually cook breakfast and he handles dinner. We're usually both at work for lunch, so lunch we handle on our own. This has worked really well for me, because I can make sure we have a good breakfast together while he's getting his uniform on, boots polished, and all that military stuff. I focus on a protein, a fruit, and a fiber. A couple of quick examples: A glass of OJ (not from concentrate), a greek yogurt, a single serving of special K cereal w/ unsweetened vanilla almond milk, Or 2 scrambled eggs, 1 peice of double fiber toast with honey, a tall glass of water, and a piece of fruit. It only takes about 15 minutes to prepare (sometimes less) and gives us just a few more minutes of quality time together, even though he starts work about an hour before I do.

4) KEEP YOUR HANDS BUSY! So you're bored and you're trying to lose weight. Why not go for a walk together around the block? Or grab a book? Or a puzzle book? Or make a cup of tea? Fill the time with something other than food.

5) REALLY TAKE A DEEP LOOK AT WHY YOU'RE EATING. I find that when I'm "bored eating", I'm not really "bored" - because, let's face it, eating because your bored doesn't exactly qualify as "doing something." Doing housework, reading a book, going for a walk, petting the dog, or enjoying My partner - THAT is doing something. Chewing and swallowing doesn't count. Usually it's because I've got something else emotionally going on that I'm trying to ignore - or quite literally "stuff". I may be seeking comfort from some issue I don't want to face (like this up coming deployment that will last over the holidays...) or maybe there is a topic I'm nervous about bringing up with him because I feel like it might cause conflict. Try to figure it out and talk about it, if not with your boyfriend, than with a good friend - or even throw it up up here if you like! There is a lot of comfort to be had in feeding your soul, rather than feeding your face. And if it's something that might bring up conflict between you and your boyfriend, try not to shy away from it. Just say whatever you need to say in a loving way and work it out. You might find you're not hungry anymore. If it's not "hunger" it's not something food will fix - even being bored. (I'm learning that conflict is OKAY too, so you're not alone! Sounds like you might be afraid to put your HEALTH first because changing might cause conflict, but conflict is okay - it helps our relationships grow stronger! Sort of like weight lifting hurts the muscles in your body, but doesn't "harm" them. It helps them grow stronger - conflict, when presented in a loving manner, does the same thing! Maybe discuss how you're feeling regarding your weight with him and share with him that you're afraid making big changes will cause conflict, so you want his help in making some changes you can both live with - because you BOTH deserve to be the HEALTHIEST you can be for one another - and for yourselves!)

6) DEVELOP ACTIVE HOBBIES. In my case, I LOVE theater. So I audition for community theater whenever I can. I'm currently in a production of INTO THE WOODS. I worked it out, and I burn about 900 calories on a "show day". Even more during rehearsal. It's my time to make more friends, have fun, and hone my skills. I've also been invited to play on a Women's Volleyball team and I plan to go for it! My Sailor is really supportive (did I mention how lucky I am? lol). He doesn't love being apart from me, but he understands its for my health and peace of mind. So he's been to my show TWICE (took family once and friends once). I'm sure I'll see him cheering me on during Volleyball games. We pride ourselves on being each other's #`1 fan! I'm hoping to complete a 1/2 marathon next year, if not the following year, and I KNOW without a doubt that he'll be there cheering me on (if not running it with me). Doing some things together and some things apart is completely healthy. It gives you more to talk about, and gives you each a chance to continue to grow!

7) PICK ACTIVE DATES! Instead of just going out to eat - why not couple it with a long walk around a mall to window shop? We're a pretty active couple, so we recently went Rock Climbing at an indoor gym. It was only an hour, but it was a GREAT hour! I was so scared to do it (it was his pick). I was BY FAR the heaviest woman in the gym, but I've learned it's FUN to do things that YOU DON'T THINK YOU CAN DO! You'd be surprised what you're capable of, and sharing that discovery experience with one you love is amazing as well! (I blogged about it here: http://www.jsjourneybook.com/2011/07/my-climbing-adventure.html)

Hang in there! Control what you can and let the rest go.

. He can lift weights and try to bulk up, while you do cardio and light weights to tone.

I respectfully point out that information is plain wrong. Lifting weights will not bulk you up, they will lean you out. Ladies, don't be afraid of lifting weights!

bump

When you're bored you should have sex. Everybody wins in this scenario - your scale, his muscles, your grocery bill and your relationship.

Aaaaand GO!

My gf and I belong to the same gym, but we don't try to work out together. If our schedules line up, then great, we'll go together now and then. But we're both busy and just fit it in when we can.

How's that guy expect to gain weight if he's not exercising? Or rather, how does he expect to gain muscle instead of fat?

Ugh, I had that problem. All he wanted was hamburger helper and icecream! Then I decided to cook better food and tell him if he didn't want/like it to make his own. He's not a very good cook so he usually ate what I made, haha.

me and my boyfriend live together! we usually eat when i cook, if he is cooking then i usually do not eat it...or eat it in TIny portions and eat something else after. he does take outs ALL the time....whereas I do not at all. I grab a subway when he orders indian and so on!!

I have gained since living with my, now, husband. I think I had somehow gotten it into my head that I could eat the same amount as him. I would make a main dish and just divide it in half.

I live with my boyfriend as well. He is no good at cooking, so I do all of that. He's also not trying to lose weight, and, though he's supportive, he's also picky and wouldn't try any of the foods I eat now *rolls eyes.* So when I cook dinner, I just cook a healthier option for myself. For instance, tonight's dinner is chicken parm, and instead of frying my chicken and slathering it with cheese (though I'd love to) I just bake mine and sprinkle a little bit of cheese over it afterwards, and I don't have as much pasta as he does. When we do something like empanadas, instead of frying mine, I roll the shells out really thin, add some veggies (frozen peas and corn) to the leftover meat, and bake it instead of frying There's usually a healthier option to everything, even if it's just smaller portions If you want, you can add me as a friend and you can tell me what you plan on having, and I'll help you figure out a better option. I'm pretty good at it if I do say so myself. Also, I don't know if anyone has said this because I didn't read the replies, but I feel by saying living with your boyfriend is making you fat, you're blaming him. Just remember that while the situation might not have been ideal, it's no one else's fault you've gained weight.