Goal weight still overweight
SarahMorganP
Posts: 921 Member
Anyone else have a goal weight that still puts them in the overweight category? I am 5'2" and my goal weight is 160lbs. That puts me at overweight, 1lb under being moderately obese. The charts say the highest I should be is 121. I think that is absurdly ridiculous.
I started 12 weeks ago at 235 and am currently 198.
Anyone else have a higher goal weight?
I started 12 weeks ago at 235 and am currently 198.
Anyone else have a higher goal weight?
22
Replies
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My goal is lower than yours, but I don’t think you need to worry about what those charts say. You know your body and will know where you need to be to feel good and be a healthy you. Good luck on your journey!4
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I'm 5'1, 144 lbs and my goal weight is 120. Though you don't have to strictly follow those charts. I think your goal weight is just fine, as long as it works for you, keeps you happy, and makes you a healthier person then do it 😊2
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SarahMorganP wrote: »Anyone else have a goal weight that still puts them in the overweight category? I am 5'2" and my goal weight is 160lbs. That puts me at overweight, 1lb under being moderately obese. The charts say the highest I should be is 121. I think that is absurdly ridiculous.
I started 12 weeks ago at 235 and am currently 198.
Anyone else have a higher goal weight?
The BMI calculator I use (https://www.nhs.uk/live-well/healthy-weight/bmi-calculator/) says the ideal weight range for 5 foot 2 women is 45.6kg - 61.6kg. That converts to an upper limit of 135lbs in imperial measurements.
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It’s also possible that as you lose weight, you’ll get a better sense of your natural size. I’m not surprised that you see 120 as ridiculous, when it’s 100 pounds lighter than where you started. But the reality is that you’d still be considerably overweight at 160, and that does carry health concerns — albeit fewer than at your current size.
BMI has a range, going all the way up to about ~136 for your height. Perhaps shoot for the top of the range.
Reevaluate as you go. You may find yourself surprised.28 -
I look back at pics from when I was 120 and my body looks like a little girl. It doesn't interest me in the slightest to look like that. I got down to 165 in 2011 and stopped because I started getting comments from men. I'm not at all ok with that. I'm much older now though so I hope when I do get down to 160 it won't be the same thing.23
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SarahMorganP wrote: »I look back at pics from when I was 120 and my body looks like a little girl. It doesn't interest me in the slightest to look like that. I got down to 165 in 2011 and stopped because I started getting comments from men. I'm not at all ok with that. I'm much older now though so I hope when I do get down to 160 it won't be the same thing.
What do you mean, you started getting comments from men? You mean flirty or lecherous comments? Or they didn't like you being thinner?
I understand wanting to be invisible, that comes from years of not wanting attention - and that's one of the reasons I was overweight. I just wanted to be left alone. That may not be what you're saying, I can't tell by your post.
The reality is that being overweight carries a lot of health problems and they will multiply as you age.
I originally set my goal as the high end of the BMI scale and I was happy there for a while. Now I'm down to 21-22 BMI, and I'm much happier and healthier here. 5'7.5" 140-143 lbs.16 -
cmriverside wrote: »SarahMorganP wrote: »I look back at pics from when I was 120 and my body looks like a little girl. It doesn't interest me in the slightest to look like that. I got down to 165 in 2011 and stopped because I started getting comments from men. I'm not at all ok with that. I'm much older now though so I hope when I do get down to 160 it won't be the same thing.
What do you mean, you started getting comments from men? You mean flirty or lecherous comments?
Cat calls. Or whistles. Just gross stuff like that and it made me extremely uncomfortable. I have a phobia of men. Every second of my day is pretty much filled with thoughts of being raped or abducted. Being fat makes me feel safer since it would be a lot harder for someone to drag me anywhere at 200lbs than 120lbs.
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SarahMorganP wrote: »cmriverside wrote: »SarahMorganP wrote: »I look back at pics from when I was 120 and my body looks like a little girl. It doesn't interest me in the slightest to look like that. I got down to 165 in 2011 and stopped because I started getting comments from men. I'm not at all ok with that. I'm much older now though so I hope when I do get down to 160 it won't be the same thing.
What do you mean, you started getting comments from men? You mean flirty or lecherous comments?
Cat calls. Or whistles. Just gross stuff like that and it made me extremely uncomfortable. I have a phobia of men. Every second of my day is pretty much filled with thoughts of being raped or abducted. Being fat makes me feel safer since it would be a lot harder for someone to drag me anywhere at 200lbs than 120lbs.
Therapy would likely be helpful for you. What you’re describing isn’t about a number on a scale — it’s deeper than that. A trauma or eating disorder counselor could help you, if you let them. (I say ED because what you’re describing about staying fat to stay safe is a similar mindset to some who feel they need to be underweight and anorexic to stay safe. Same rooted behavior, but different approach to addressing it.)32 -
Having a goal weight that is not within the BMI charts is a personal choice. You may find that taking diet breaks to eat at maintenance for a few weeks at a time will better help you determine your goals. Talk with your doctor about your concerns and jointly pick a weight that makes sense for you at this time in your journey.
I am 5’1” and the upper number on the charts for me is 132. I’ve chosen 125 as my goal weight, but I don’t feel married to that goal. I was right around 130 prior to each of my pregnancies, but I was much younger then. I am taking a slow approach to see where my weight settles in.
I can completely understand your concern about unwanted comments. I get them too even at my age. I am focused only on what I can control. I can’t control what other people say. So, I ignore and move on. If you are really struggling with this, I’d encourage you to talk to a counselor about it. You deserve to be able to pick your weight based on your goals without this kind of outside influence.7 -
collectingblues wrote: »SarahMorganP wrote: »cmriverside wrote: »SarahMorganP wrote: »I look back at pics from when I was 120 and my body looks like a little girl. It doesn't interest me in the slightest to look like that. I got down to 165 in 2011 and stopped because I started getting comments from men. I'm not at all ok with that. I'm much older now though so I hope when I do get down to 160 it won't be the same thing.
What do you mean, you started getting comments from men? You mean flirty or lecherous comments?
Cat calls. Or whistles. Just gross stuff like that and it made me extremely uncomfortable. I have a phobia of men. Every second of my day is pretty much filled with thoughts of being raped or abducted. Being fat makes me feel safer since it would be a lot harder for someone to drag me anywhere at 200lbs than 120lbs.
Therapy would likely be helpful for you.
You would think. But I've been to more therapists than I can count. No help. The phobia stays. I just no longer go anywhere alone, without my husband so that helps. But even at work if I end up on the elevator with a man by myself it's full blown panic and trying to come up with all the ways I could escape if he tried anything.15 -
SarahMorganP wrote: »collectingblues wrote: »SarahMorganP wrote: »cmriverside wrote: »SarahMorganP wrote: »I look back at pics from when I was 120 and my body looks like a little girl. It doesn't interest me in the slightest to look like that. I got down to 165 in 2011 and stopped because I started getting comments from men. I'm not at all ok with that. I'm much older now though so I hope when I do get down to 160 it won't be the same thing.
What do you mean, you started getting comments from men? You mean flirty or lecherous comments?
Cat calls. Or whistles. Just gross stuff like that and it made me extremely uncomfortable. I have a phobia of men. Every second of my day is pretty much filled with thoughts of being raped or abducted. Being fat makes me feel safer since it would be a lot harder for someone to drag me anywhere at 200lbs than 120lbs.
Therapy would likely be helpful for you.
You would think. But I've been to more therapists than I can count. No help. The phobia stays. I just no longer go anywhere alone, without my husband so that helps. But even at work if I end up on the elevator with a man by myself it's full blown panic and trying to come up with all the ways I could escape if he tried anything.
Look for a better therapist, and talk to your pcp about s psych referral for medication. You deserve a better life than what you’re living, and the number on the scale has nothing to do with it.39 -
SarahMorganP wrote: »cmriverside wrote: »SarahMorganP wrote: »I look back at pics from when I was 120 and my body looks like a little girl. It doesn't interest me in the slightest to look like that. I got down to 165 in 2011 and stopped because I started getting comments from men. I'm not at all ok with that. I'm much older now though so I hope when I do get down to 160 it won't be the same thing.
What do you mean, you started getting comments from men? You mean flirty or lecherous comments?
Cat calls. Or whistles. Just gross stuff like that and it made me extremely uncomfortable. I have a phobia of men. Every second of my day is pretty much filled with thoughts of being raped or abducted. Being fat makes me feel safer since it would be a lot harder for someone to drag me anywhere at 200lbs than 120lbs.
I hear you. I have a few irrational fears sometimes myself.
I agree with collectingblues - why not get some counseling or join a support group for women or maybe even some medication? That kind of anxiety and obsessive thinking is really only hurting you. There is a way out. ((hug))
*edit to say, I see you've tried some therapy? Have you done any reading about CBT? (Cognitive Behavior Therapy) - it's really good for obsessions and anxiety. Are you getting regular exercise? That is hugely helpful for me.9 -
I'm 5foot2 and started at 210. My original GW was 155 because that's the lowest I've been as an adult. I am 154 currently and my next goal is 130. Could I be happy in the 150s? Sure. But now I have fitness related goals, running faster/farther, lifting heavier, so I'm going to see where that takes me.12
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SarahMorganP wrote: »cmriverside wrote: »SarahMorganP wrote: »I look back at pics from when I was 120 and my body looks like a little girl. It doesn't interest me in the slightest to look like that. I got down to 165 in 2011 and stopped because I started getting comments from men. I'm not at all ok with that. I'm much older now though so I hope when I do get down to 160 it won't be the same thing.
What do you mean, you started getting comments from men? You mean flirty or lecherous comments?
Cat calls. Or whistles. Just gross stuff like that and it made me extremely uncomfortable. I have a phobia of men. Every second of my day is pretty much filled with thoughts of being raped or abducted. Being fat makes me feel safer since it would be a lot harder for someone to drag me anywhere at 200lbs than 120lbs.
I totally get fat as armor.
Cat calls did go down as I aged, as did interest. When I was online dating and changed my age to 40, the volume of emails I received dropped precipitously.
I used to get a few flirty emails on this site, but none since I turned 50.
My goal weight is in the 25 BMI, which is low Overweight. That's the weight I was at when I was a full time yoga teacher and I felt good at that weight. However, I do have a large frame. http://www.myfooddiary.com/Resources/frame_size_calculator.asp (This calculator may be inaccurate for people considerably overweight. I, however, still had a large frame when I had a BMI of 23 when I was in the military.)
160 lbs is a fine goal weight for you for now. You can always reevaluate when you get there.
I suggest you take steps now to make yourself feel safer. I carry pepper spray when I'm walking in the woods. Funny, Amazon won't ship it to me, but I can buy it at a local gun store.
I took a self defense class about 20 years ago, which was great, and I've been thinking about taking a refresher.
The weapons training I had in the military did not make me feel safer, but I'm sure that is not universally true. I did do some refresher target shooting a few years back, which I am glad for.9 -
Have you considered martial arts, OP? It won't address the underlying anxiety, but I find that knowing I could do more damage than any attacker would anticipate makes it far easier for me to remain calm in response to street harassment.11
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SarahMorganP wrote: »collectingblues wrote: »SarahMorganP wrote: »cmriverside wrote: »SarahMorganP wrote: »I look back at pics from when I was 120 and my body looks like a little girl. It doesn't interest me in the slightest to look like that. I got down to 165 in 2011 and stopped because I started getting comments from men. I'm not at all ok with that. I'm much older now though so I hope when I do get down to 160 it won't be the same thing.
What do you mean, you started getting comments from men? You mean flirty or lecherous comments?
Cat calls. Or whistles. Just gross stuff like that and it made me extremely uncomfortable. I have a phobia of men. Every second of my day is pretty much filled with thoughts of being raped or abducted. Being fat makes me feel safer since it would be a lot harder for someone to drag me anywhere at 200lbs than 120lbs.
Therapy would likely be helpful for you.
You would think. But I've been to more therapists than I can count. No help. The phobia stays. I just no longer go anywhere alone, without my husband so that helps. But even at work if I end up on the elevator with a man by myself it's full blown panic and trying to come up with all the ways I could escape if he tried anything.
I went through a lot of therapists before I was able to find one who was able to help me with my predilection for making bad choices in men.
I used to have panic attacks a lot more, and am not sure why they went away, because I haven't had therapy for a number of years and do not take regular medication for it. However, I do consistently get regular exercise.
In situations like yours on the elevator I find mantras calming. In this case, I would have used the Bene Gesserit Litany against Fear from Frank Herbert's "Dune".
"I will not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
Having pepper spray in my purse and having recently taken self defense classes would also reassure me.
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In other situations I would find the Loving Kindness Meditation helpful. Here's the version I learned:
May I be full of loving kindness.
May I be well.
May I be peaceful and at ease.
May I be happy.15 -
SarahMorganP wrote: »Anyone else have a goal weight that still puts them in the overweight category? I am 5'2" and my goal weight is 160lbs. That puts me at overweight, 1lb under being moderately obese. The charts say the highest I should be is 121. I think that is absurdly ridiculous.
I started 12 weeks ago at 235 and am currently 198.
Anyone else have a higher goal weight?
A.C.E. Certified Personal and Group Fitness Trainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
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P.S. I've recently taken up weight-lifting and it occurs to me that increasing your personal strength could also help you manage the fear.
EDIT: I say this because you strike me as a rational person in general. Someone who thinks about how heavy she would be to drag when she's managing her fear seems to be someone who would be able to use knowing how heavy an attacker she could shove.5 -
Sadly I am unable to do any exercise at this point. I used to walk 3 miles a day and lift heavy and loved it. No I am unable to walk even 10min due to a disease. So no martial arts or weight lifting for me. And of course my lack of any physical activity has made my fears worse because now I know I wouldn't be able to fight or run away. I also know that if I were abducted I would be dead pretty quickly without my lifesaving meds so that also has me on edge. I'm a mess. lol8
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Oh in that case ignore me. That sucks and I'm sorry.1
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Yeah. I originally thought 220 was a good goal weight for my 307 lb self. Then when I got there, I switched to 180 and thought that might be too small on my wide hipped 5'8" frame. It really wasn't. I have now spent years "maintaining" in the range of 165-180 and for awhile I considered 150 my goal weight. I have never gotten below the 160s (like, I haven't been in the 150s since late elementary school - age 11) and honestly when I was at my very lowest (just a few pounds lighter than 169 where I am right now), I felt like my features looked weird and I had way less libido. So I guess I'll stick with the 160s-170s permanently. Plenty of 5'8" women have way lower goal weights and my weight still puts me in the overweight category on most charts. I am fine with this.
One thought: a lot of people use terms like heavy, large, overweight when describing those who are obese or even morbidly obese. It sounds a lot nicer. But medically, the actual "overweight" category (not obese) is a far better place to be with far less risk for many issues that are associated with obesity.
As for worries about being abducted or attacked...I agree that therapy might be an excellent idea for those who are consumed with such concerns. However, I must comment that I have had some (minor) concerns with that myself. I'm tall but when I weighed 250 lb and more (most of my adult life), I always felt like it would be really hard for someone to overpower me. At one time I worked with adults with severe developmental disabilities and I was very good at helping to calm them and block violent actions toward staff or peers. Now, I don't feel I am "weak" (lift heavy things easily for example) and I'm not so small at 169 lb. But my husband can easily pick me up and even though he's joking around, it is a very freaky feeling. My husband's a big guy, muscular at 6'2" and around 240 lb...but it's creepy to think that probably a lot of men even my own size could overpower me. I got in a couple of fights when I was a teenager and I would always be the one to control the outcome due to my size, and ferocity, but mostly size in my estimation. Both times, the other girls were shorter and lighter. Then again, maybe I was just in denial before about my vulnerability to some kind of attack. Who knows. Hoping none of us find ourselves in that situation!11 -
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kshama2001 wrote: »SarahMorganP wrote: »collectingblues wrote: »SarahMorganP wrote: »cmriverside wrote: »SarahMorganP wrote: »I look back at pics from when I was 120 and my body looks like a little girl. It doesn't interest me in the slightest to look like that. I got down to 165 in 2011 and stopped because I started getting comments from men. I'm not at all ok with that. I'm much older now though so I hope when I do get down to 160 it won't be the same thing.
What do you mean, you started getting comments from men? You mean flirty or lecherous comments?
Cat calls. Or whistles. Just gross stuff like that and it made me extremely uncomfortable. I have a phobia of men. Every second of my day is pretty much filled with thoughts of being raped or abducted. Being fat makes me feel safer since it would be a lot harder for someone to drag me anywhere at 200lbs than 120lbs.
Therapy would likely be helpful for you.
You would think. But I've been to more therapists than I can count. No help. The phobia stays. I just no longer go anywhere alone, without my husband so that helps. But even at work if I end up on the elevator with a man by myself it's full blown panic and trying to come up with all the ways I could escape if he tried anything.
I went through a lot of therapists before I was able to find one who was able to help me with my predilection for making bad choices in men.
I used to have panic attacks a lot more, and am not sure why they went away, because I haven't had therapy for a number of years and do not take regular medication for it. However, I do consistently get regular exercise.
In situations like yours on the elevator I find mantras calming. In this case, I would have used the Bene Gesserit Litany against Fear from Frank Herbert's "Dune".
"I will not fear.
Fear is the mind-killer.
Fear is the little-death that brings total obliteration.
I will face my fear.
I will permit it to pass over me and through me.
And when it has gone past I will turn the inner eye to see its path.
Where the fear has gone there will be nothing. Only I will remain."
Having pepper spray in my purse and having recently taken self defense classes would also reassure me.
******************
In other situations I would find the Loving Kindness Meditation helpful. Here's the version I learned:
May I be full of loving kindness.
May I be well.
May I be peaceful and at ease.
May I be happy.
Fear is a gift. Convincing people to distrust fear is gaslighting.
"The Gift of Fear: Survival Signals That Protect Us from Violence" by Gavin de Becker
*Edited to fix gender-specific language.10 -
My initial goal weight was just to lose 10% from my SW (which was in the Class II Obese range for my height), because I had BP, blood glucose, and cholesterol readings that were all edging toward the point of needing medication, and I repeatedly saw/heard from medical sources that just losing 5% or 10% of your weight could make a difference. I found it so much easier to lose weight using the tools on MFP than it had every been with any other approach I had tried that I just kept going until I had lost 20% (which was the upper end of obese), and went into maintenance mindset, with an upper limit my original GW. I've been happy there, and my BP, blood glucose, and cholesterol have stayed in healthy ranges.
I don't think you should feel compelled to hit some number on a chart, certainly not because that's what other people say they are doing, although with the health issue you mention that keeps you from exercising, I think it would be a good idea to consult with your doctor/medical team as to whether a lower weight would be better in your circumstances.2 -
seltzermint555 wrote: »Yeah. I originally thought 220 was a good goal weight for my 307 lb self. Then when I got there, I switched to 180 and thought that might be too small on my wide hipped 5'8" frame. It really wasn't. I have now spent years "maintaining" in the range of 165-180 and for awhile I considered 150 my goal weight. I have never gotten below the 160s (like, I haven't been in the 150s since late elementary school - age 11) and honestly when I was at my very lowest (just a few pounds lighter than 169 where I am right now), I felt like my features looked weird and I had way less libido. So I guess I'll stick with the 160s-170s permanently. Plenty of 5'8" women have way lower goal weights and my weight still puts me in the overweight category on most charts. I am fine with this.
One thought: a lot of people use terms like heavy, large, overweight when describing those who are obese or even morbidly obese. It sounds a lot nicer. But medically, the actual "overweight" category (not obese) is a far better place to be with far less risk for many issues that are associated with obesity.
As for worries about being abducted or attacked...I agree that therapy might be an excellent idea for those who are consumed with such concerns. However, I must comment that I have had some (minor) concerns with that myself. I'm tall but when I weighed 250 lb and more (most of my adult life), I always felt like it would be really hard for someone to overpower me. At one time I worked with adults with severe developmental disabilities and I was very good at helping to calm them and block violent actions toward staff or peers. Now, I don't feel I am "weak" (lift heavy things easily for example) and I'm not so small at 169 lb. But my husband can easily pick me up and even though he's joking around, it is a very freaky feeling. My husband's a big guy, muscular at 6'2" and around 240 lb...but it's creepy to think that probably a lot of men even my own size could overpower me. I got in a couple of fights when I was a teenager and I would always be the one to control the outcome due to my size, and ferocity, but mostly size in my estimation. Both times, the other girls were shorter and lighter. Then again, maybe I was just in denial before about my vulnerability to some kind of attack. Who knows. Hoping none of us find ourselves in that situation!
But, statistically, some of us will.4 -
I don't see a problem at all with your goal weight. You might get there and decide to lose more, you might not. My goal weight as a 5'8'' woman is 160. This is technically on the edge of being overweight, but I've been there before and know I liked being there.0
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Re: fear of becoming a target if you are normal weight. The reality is that even obese women are sometimes attacked. My good friend who is morbidly obese was attacked by a man who as it turned out sought out obese women in particular. Ugly women, old women, and even strong, fit men are sometimes the targets of sexual predators. Intentionally trying to make yourself unappealing isn't something you should have to do, plus it isn't something that works.
I urge you not to give up on professional help. And to the degree that there are real dangers which all of us face, take realistic precautions to avoid them, ones which will actually do something useful. Being more than 300 lbs did not help my friend, because obesity is not a superpower.13 -
SarahMorganP wrote: »collectingblues wrote: »SarahMorganP wrote: »cmriverside wrote: »SarahMorganP wrote: »I look back at pics from when I was 120 and my body looks like a little girl. It doesn't interest me in the slightest to look like that. I got down to 165 in 2011 and stopped because I started getting comments from men. I'm not at all ok with that. I'm much older now though so I hope when I do get down to 160 it won't be the same thing.
What do you mean, you started getting comments from men? You mean flirty or lecherous comments?
Cat calls. Or whistles. Just gross stuff like that and it made me extremely uncomfortable. I have a phobia of men. Every second of my day is pretty much filled with thoughts of being raped or abducted. Being fat makes me feel safer since it would be a lot harder for someone to drag me anywhere at 200lbs than 120lbs.
Therapy would likely be helpful for you.
You would think. But I've been to more therapists than I can count. No help. The phobia stays. I just no longer go anywhere alone, without my husband so that helps. But even at work if I end up on the elevator with a man by myself it's full blown panic and trying to come up with all the ways I could escape if he tried anything.
Honestly I think you need to find a new therapist. I've been in and out of therapy (mostly in) for 16 years or so. Various different therapists, different cities (and two countries), and different therapeutic modalities. It wasn't until I started seeing my current therapist that things started falling into place more. I'll still need likely years of therapy, but there's far more forward momentum than there was.
Shifting the focus off of me, there is probably some small part of you that realizes that your weight won't actually keep you protected from men (or women) who want to assault you. It might seem that it will, but it really won't because assault and abuse are more about power and control than anything else, including standards of beauty. If it was simply about not being overweight or obese, only people of "healthy" weights (or people who are underweight) would be getting assaulted which simply isn't the case.
Regardless, I am far more worried about your mental distress than your weight.11 -
I too have plans to only gett ing down to 155. I acheived this wieght once before and maintained it for 5 years. All the while i tried to lose more but couldn't. That failure resulted in depression and major weight gain. I would love to have that weight problem again. I looked good and technically felt good except it was considered to be fat (obese). I do not care any more what some index says I should be, instead once i acheive my goal of 155 I plan on enjoying being that weight.2
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I am 5ft 1 and aiming for 140 that’s 10stone. I used happily sit between 9.5 and 10 stone. I will review again nearer to target. When I was 9stone I looked quite ribby0
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