Living with my boyfriend is making me fat!

Fochizzy · August 2011

Portion control. I am a big fan of eating everything in moderation. We bought a second set of bowls. He gets the normal sized bowl, I get the ice-cream sized bowl. He gets the 12 inch plate I get the 8 inch plate. I am losing weight and he is not. Works well and doesn't get rid of the time together.

_GlaDOS_ · August 2011

I live with my boyfriend and most of what we buy and eat we do so separately. We do not usually eat the same foods. He also doesn't cook, so because I get to do the cooking (when we do share meals), I get to pick the food I'm going to cook. If he doesn't like it, then too bad-- he can eat something else and I'll have the leftovers. You have to make this journey about you. If you set healthy eating habits and make good-tasting, healthy meals, you might be able to be the one setting the example. My boyfriend has changed some of his eating habits just based on things I've had him try or had around the house. If he wants to eat the unhealthy snacks, then he should be buying them himself. You should not have to feel forced to buy or eat something that interferes with your goals.

fendeb · August 2011

first things first...you are already a "little hottie", do not think for a moment you are not. Okay that being said here are a few suggestions: 1) do not make separate meals, you are not a short order cook. What you cook will be healthy & tasty & no one should have any complaints, after all you made the effort to cook right. 2) if the person (s) you are feeding do not like what you fix they can fix thier own meal. 3) If your boyfriend needs to gain some weight thats okay he can gain weight by eating healthy, just eat a larger portion..problem solved. 4) exercise...you may not want to exercise together, this maybe a time where you just focus on yourself. Besides he or you may not like the same exercises; you might want to do a trial run & see if you are both happy about the arrangement. If not, go when it is convient for you...early a.m. before work, lunch, or after work.. 5) whatever exercise you plan to do, just do it when you can, do not make it so hard that you give up. If one day you start @ 6:00am another day @ 5:00 pm who cares as long as you are there.6) remember you are in control of your life and health that is most important, Just make the best choices you can day to day. If on a day it does not go well, it is okay there is always the next meal the next day. We are all here for you & cheer your successes!! However we all need to own our actions whether they be good or not so great.

em1976 · August 2011

My partner and I generally cook together with meals.One to 2 nights a week he can eat what he likes,the rest its meals ive organized as healthy is good for both of us.We adjust the portion sizes for both of us,him alot,mine weighed etc.Has taken me a fair few months for him to understand how important my health is to me and although we had some initial hurdles its much better.He sneaks his take out food into another room,I find it sweet but pointless as the dog tells me when hes got it.I make him dinner alot(as its the easiest way to open him up to new tastes),and also shakes here and there but im very careful to never tell him exactly what goes into the shakes as hed refuse to eat them.Its all down to compromise I think.In regards to exercise time.I use mine as my private time,its time for us to be apart,relax and enjoy ourselves for a little.On the other hand I often ask him to come for walks with me,I find he wont volunteer but if i say,'id like you to come' he will.

ilookthetype · August 2011

What the heck kind of guy would fight about having to make his own food?

whateverr120 · August 2011

lol....i guess a guy that REALLY likes having things cooked for him....i guess hes used to it, but he definately knows how to cook for himself if he had to. I have an ex who couldnt even heat up a can of soup.

ilookthetype · August 2011

lol....i guess a guy that REALLY likes having things cooked for him....i guess hes used to it, but he definately knows how to cook for himself if he had to. I have an ex who couldnt even heat up a can of soup.

And a guy who won't cook for himself is not a guy to keep around. I don't care if I can do laundry on his six pack, he's not dating me if he won't cook his own food voluntarily.

And, no situation or person is responsible for what you eat or do other than you. Your eating habits changed when you started cohabitating with your boyfriend, now you need to get back into a healthier groove.

Nolynoelia20 · August 2011

When you're bored you should have sex. Everybody wins in this scenario - your scale, his muscles, your grocery bill and your relationship.

Aaaaand GO!

Yes, but can I log this as exercise?

i swear I'm tempted to wear my HR monitor sometimes loll! why not right??? :P

I always wonder how much I burn lmao

taurie · August 2011

What I've been doing is to take my portion of the protein, a very small amount of the side dish and load up on the veggies and/or salad. It looks like I'm eating the same meal but I'm eating a lot less calories.

ETA: Since my husband doesn't like it when I eat "weird" (ie. low carb), this has helped to keep the peace at home while I still see results on the scale.

Talk him into going for a walk with you a few nights each week. It doesn't have to be fast paced and you can hold hands while you do.

This was so great thanks! I'm definately comming to realize I CAN lose weight and keep the boyfriend too lol!

I've found this works for me too. We cook together so I can weigh everything and I also use a smaller plate which helps. Sometimes if I can't weigh my food I use my hands as portion guides.

protein = size and thickness of palm
carbs/starchy veg = one handful
non starchy veg = two handfuls

We always plan our dinners in the morning or the night before so I know roughly how many calories I need to save for my evening meal.

roxyjo1 · August 2011

I can relate. Luckily, my bf isnt too picky & I love to cook. I try to stay away from starchy sides (mac & cheese, potatoes etc) and fried foods as much as possible. I do sautee a lot with a T. of margarine & olive oil. I did have to ease him into veges with cheese sauce at first, now I just season & use a little margarine & he hasn't seemed to notice. We eat a lot of zuccini, mushrooms, onion, california medley, & steamed broccoli, boneless skinless chicken breast, & tilapia. He thinks he has to have something sweet after every meal so I get the fun size candy bars or we split (60/40) an ice cream sandwich.

amandavictoria80 · August 2011

So I've been living with my boyfriend for 2 years, and it's been taking a toll on my weight. He has NO weight issues by the way, he even wants to gain some weight and says that he's lost about 20 lbs since we've been together (from 180 to 160).
The big issues are:
Eating gives us something to do when we're bored
We eat the same food
And about the same ammount of food (usually i eat a bit less, and I'm trying to eat even less than I already am, giving him the bigger portions)
He's a bit picky
He needs to gain, I need to lose.

So basically, I don't know if I should cook my own meals and let him cook his own (he is capable, but he wouldn't like this one bit and might cause fights), or if I should try to make meals that we could both have, maybe I'll have more salad before dinner and he can have more of the dinner part? what are my options here? The best part is he's the biggest reason I want to lose some weight is to give him a hottie for a girlfriend

I also don't know when to incorporate excersise, we have about the same work schedules and excersising has just never been a part of our daily routine, we usually end up snuggling on the couch.. I don't expect him to work out with me, but I guess it's up to me to find when works best for our schedules..

UGH this is not easy......but NO PAIN NO GAIN right???

It sounds like you already have all the answers and know exactly what you need to do.

My boyfriend is the same. Especially when it comes to picky eating. And it seems sometimes like the food with the most calories, fat, etc. are his favorite. So, you either need him to agree to eat what you eat, which will be healthy meals. Or you need to start eating separate meals. At first, I started just making my own meals. This was not easy because I also have two kids who are even more picky. But it had to be done. Then he started seeing how delicious some of my healthy meals looked. So he started joining in once and awhile.
This whole journey is YOURS! So, it's all up to you. Exercise before you cuddle on the couch together. Sometimes just knowing you get to do that afterwards really gives the push to get it done and over with.

I wish you lots of luck!!!!! Add me if you would like.

Take Care.

saralye · August 2011

This is so hard! I ALWAYS lose weight when my bf is out of town (as he is right now).

He eats out like EVERY night. This used to bother me a lot, since it means that either I have to eat I either have to get take-out too, or quarter recipes which is hard if not impossible at times. I also used to get my feelings hurt, that he didn't want to eat my food, even tho he would swear up and down he loves my cooking.

Since he was so sincere about the loving my food thing, eventually I worked out this arrangement when I want to try a new recipe (we didn't discuss it, I just worked it out on my own): I will tell him what I'm cooking for dinner, and should I make him some? If I make it sound delicious enough and don't mention it's diet-friendly, he will usually say yes. So I'll make a full recipe, and he'll have some of what I make. I don't complain if he brings home a burrito to supplement my low-fat, low-calorie dinner. Usually, he'll have a bit of leftovers for lunch the next day if he likes it enough. And once I've made the full recipe once, I'll have enough of a handle on it to make my own 1-2 serving batch next time I want to cook it. No pressure for him to eat, and sometimes if I only make 1 serving for myself he feels like he's missing out and asks me to make it again later in the week!

I agree with making a double-batch of carbs - rice or pasta - so long as he can get seconds (or thirds), he won't complain about what's for dinner. Another ace up my sleeve is cheesy garlic bread: he's a sucker, and if I make a bunch of it I can usually keep him away from the Thai, Mexican or sushi take-out for the night. I can always make a slice w/o cheese for me, on whole grain of course!

Avoiding the take-out train is hard in our house with our work schedules, but with plenty of future planning and a meal plan for the week you can start to minimize the junk food.

Living with my boyfriend is making me fat!

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