Goodbye, Myfitnesspal: The dangers of calorie counting (personally)
AshleyWallace3
Posts: 9 Member
Counting calories will help you lose weight. And if that's what you need, you go for that. I lost 3 stone off SW and then another stone and a half using MyFitnessPal. It does work.
And then I became obsessed. I even put up a post here berating myself for - gasp - eating a McDonalds after I had spent the week before on around 900/1000 calories, stating I felt so disappointed and guilty with myself, addressing it as a 'major' set back... Maybe some of you guys who commented remember me, haha! I think every single person that commented pointed out how bizarre and how unhealthy that was. And sadly, those posts hit against a brick wall. For anyone reading, they're probably shrugging and thinking 'So? You're trying to lose weight, aren't you?'
I feel like I can't convey it. Weighing myself twice a day - I was so desperate to see how the day before had impacted me that I shot up out of bed, went to the bathroom so that it didn't affect the numbers, and sped to those scales before anything else. I could lose 5/6 pound in a week. If I lost a pound, I was reinforced, and hooked all over again. If I gained, I immediately made a mental plan to punish myself with my diet.
I declined social nights out because I was scared about gaining weight.
I missed out entire meals so I could finally have some chocolate and still lose a pound. How bloody unhealthy is that?
A few times, I felt so bad about eating big portions on social events that I forced myself to vomit in the bathroom. There were also the unsuccessful attempts.
I didn't exercise excessively, but I did exercise for the sole reason of burning off one of my very limited meals. So I made matters a bit worse that way.
I examined/examine myself twice or three times a day in the mirror, trying to figure out if I'm fat or not.
A few friends and family said to me that I was going too far with things.
It was a very beloved friend of mine who sat me down very recently and told me that I'm on the way towards developing an eating disorder. And he had warned me about this before, but I have this wall up - he worked in a mental ward, has three family members fighting against anorexia and has at least two female friends who are suffering it.
If I do have an eating disorder... You'd never guess by looking at me. I'm 5'5" and 148-ish pounds. This... is fat to me. But only when I think about myself. I'm not saying I definitely an eating disorder have one, but whatever is going on...
I'm ready to change my lifestyle. Today, I felt immense guilt because I had a packet of crisps. This was the only thing I had for lunch, with a slice of toast and banana for breakfast. This should NOT spark guilt!? I read articles on how to stop feeling guilty about food, and while I didn't eat anything else, I managed to overcome the shame. I felt SO happy that I had managed. For the first time in two years, I didn't feel guilty about having an 'off-limit' food and it felt so, so so wonderful!
I don't want to lose weight now. I want to become HEALTHY, in both body and mind.
*I've stopped weighing myself, but the constant want to do so is still there.
*I'm doing half an hour of hot yoga in the morning, and at least 20 minutes of cardio per day. Not for the calorie burning, just for treating my body right. I'm trying to work on increasing what I eat to compensate for this, but it usually ends up just being a banana. So, big work in progress here!
*If I'm hungry, I'm going to eat. This is another work in progress that I haven't conquered yet.
*NO MORE CALORIE COUNTING! LISTEN TO MY BODY! If I feel a sugar craving, have some fruit. If I want a chocolate bar every once in a while? Hey. That's fine.
*THREE MEALS A DAY, and try to have either fruit/vegetable, protein, healthy fat, and complex carbs with them! Again, this is something I'm working on. It's part of the reason I felt so guilty about my lunch today. I don't look at them in calories anymore, I look at them and think positively. Whereas before, a baked potato with tuna (and full-fat mayo) would have made me dread the calories in them, I'm now going to think about the goodness in them.
I've deleted MyFitnessPal from my shortcuts and favorite list. However... The fact I haven't deleted my account tells me something important. I still want it there. The voice that's fat-shaming me, and obsessing about calories and making me feel bad about food... She's not ready to let this go yet. But it'll come.
I think, guys, if you had to choose between them:
Be happy and healthy and a few pounds overweight,
Rather than the 'ideal' weight and a prisoner to calories.
And then I became obsessed. I even put up a post here berating myself for - gasp - eating a McDonalds after I had spent the week before on around 900/1000 calories, stating I felt so disappointed and guilty with myself, addressing it as a 'major' set back... Maybe some of you guys who commented remember me, haha! I think every single person that commented pointed out how bizarre and how unhealthy that was. And sadly, those posts hit against a brick wall. For anyone reading, they're probably shrugging and thinking 'So? You're trying to lose weight, aren't you?'
I feel like I can't convey it. Weighing myself twice a day - I was so desperate to see how the day before had impacted me that I shot up out of bed, went to the bathroom so that it didn't affect the numbers, and sped to those scales before anything else. I could lose 5/6 pound in a week. If I lost a pound, I was reinforced, and hooked all over again. If I gained, I immediately made a mental plan to punish myself with my diet.
I declined social nights out because I was scared about gaining weight.
I missed out entire meals so I could finally have some chocolate and still lose a pound. How bloody unhealthy is that?
A few times, I felt so bad about eating big portions on social events that I forced myself to vomit in the bathroom. There were also the unsuccessful attempts.
I didn't exercise excessively, but I did exercise for the sole reason of burning off one of my very limited meals. So I made matters a bit worse that way.
I examined/examine myself twice or three times a day in the mirror, trying to figure out if I'm fat or not.
A few friends and family said to me that I was going too far with things.
It was a very beloved friend of mine who sat me down very recently and told me that I'm on the way towards developing an eating disorder. And he had warned me about this before, but I have this wall up - he worked in a mental ward, has three family members fighting against anorexia and has at least two female friends who are suffering it.
If I do have an eating disorder... You'd never guess by looking at me. I'm 5'5" and 148-ish pounds. This... is fat to me. But only when I think about myself. I'm not saying I definitely an eating disorder have one, but whatever is going on...
I'm ready to change my lifestyle. Today, I felt immense guilt because I had a packet of crisps. This was the only thing I had for lunch, with a slice of toast and banana for breakfast. This should NOT spark guilt!? I read articles on how to stop feeling guilty about food, and while I didn't eat anything else, I managed to overcome the shame. I felt SO happy that I had managed. For the first time in two years, I didn't feel guilty about having an 'off-limit' food and it felt so, so so wonderful!
I don't want to lose weight now. I want to become HEALTHY, in both body and mind.
*I've stopped weighing myself, but the constant want to do so is still there.
*I'm doing half an hour of hot yoga in the morning, and at least 20 minutes of cardio per day. Not for the calorie burning, just for treating my body right. I'm trying to work on increasing what I eat to compensate for this, but it usually ends up just being a banana. So, big work in progress here!
*If I'm hungry, I'm going to eat. This is another work in progress that I haven't conquered yet.
*NO MORE CALORIE COUNTING! LISTEN TO MY BODY! If I feel a sugar craving, have some fruit. If I want a chocolate bar every once in a while? Hey. That's fine.
*THREE MEALS A DAY, and try to have either fruit/vegetable, protein, healthy fat, and complex carbs with them! Again, this is something I'm working on. It's part of the reason I felt so guilty about my lunch today. I don't look at them in calories anymore, I look at them and think positively. Whereas before, a baked potato with tuna (and full-fat mayo) would have made me dread the calories in them, I'm now going to think about the goodness in them.
I've deleted MyFitnessPal from my shortcuts and favorite list. However... The fact I haven't deleted my account tells me something important. I still want it there. The voice that's fat-shaming me, and obsessing about calories and making me feel bad about food... She's not ready to let this go yet. But it'll come.
I think, guys, if you had to choose between them:
Be happy and healthy and a few pounds overweight,
Rather than the 'ideal' weight and a prisoner to calories.
76
Replies
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It sounds like you were layering additional restrictions on top of calorie counting and many people do find that to be an unpleasant, restrictive, or unsustainable way to live. That's why I decided to embrace calorie counting, because it facilitated eating the foods I enjoy without feeling guilty about specific food choices. It works really well for me.
Good luck with your recovery!45 -
Good advice, I suppose, if one is fortunate to be minimally overweight. But I think the majority who are here using MFP as a weight loss tool are very overweight or obese. There's no ignoring it. Monitoring food intake is the best way, And counting calories rules for accuracy.AshleyWallace3 wrote: ».
I think, guys, if you had to choose between them:
Be happy and healthy and a few pounds overweight,
Rather than the 'ideal' weight and a prisoner to calories.
Good luck though!
30 -
I am sorry that this is something that you are going through. I hope that in addition to deleting MFP, you seek professional help in treating your eating disorders. There is nothing inherently unhealthy about calorie counting or MFP. None of the behaviors you described are things that you should be doing when engaging in calorie counting (I'll be referring to calorie counting going forward, but the sense I mean it in is following your MFP goals to achieve a deficit through calories in vs calories out). In fact, it seems like you were doing things that were antithetical to it. Beating yourself up about eating certain foods, even though you are undereating for the day, is not calorie counting. If you were truly following calorie counting, it wouldn't matter the type of food you are because it was within your daily goal.
So I think you have underlying issues with an unhealthy relationship to food and diet that are separated from MFP. If you feel that MFP is unhealthy for you, I think it is a good idea to give it up. But understand that your issues with it are the symptom of the problem, not the problem itself. So simply getting rid of MFP may help in the short term, but I hope you take comprehensive action to fix the underlying issues, or you will be at risk of falling back into the same patterns.42 -
MFP is a tool just like a hammer. If you want to drive a nail it is a good tool. If you hit your thumb then it sucks. Sounds to me like you were purposefully punishing yourself with this tool. It is probably more healthy for you to leave. Blessings.52
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Good luck to you. I hope you consider seeing a therapist as well. Simply being able to talk with someone about the feelings you are having could help you find ways to constructively deal with your concerns. I truly hope the best for you.12
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yes ITA with the seeking personal cnuseling if you feel you need it- anything can become obsessive if we let it- good luck3
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This is why I deleted Facebook.
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OP it sounds like you may benefit from professional help, they'll help you navigate through your unhealthy relationship with food and the thoughts that you're struggling with.
Best of luck to you as you move forward!10 -
Good for you for recognizing there may be a problem. It takes a lot of self-reflection to come to those conclusions sometimes. It's great that you're going to focus on taking care of yourself in a healthy way. I hope you're able to find self-acceptance. Good luck! 6
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I have a very clinical approach to it - I log my food, try to adhere reasonably close to my daily net calories limit, and get a minimal amount of protein. My fitness tracker calculates the calories and loads it into MFP. I have a digital scale that loads my weight into MFP. I have it all set up so I can do my fitness accounting in 15 minutes a day and then go about my life without worrying about it.
To me, the less social and emotional you can be about eating and fitness the more sustainable it is - I know others will disagree and that if you do happen to agree, it easier said than done. I hope you find a system that works for you and makes you happy9 -
I'm glad you recognized that you had developed some very unhealthy habits and attitudes towards food. I hope you seek help for your eating disorder. Using food as a reward or as a punishment will never be healthy or something you can maintain in the long term.
I wish you luck finding something that works for you and getting to a point where you can be happy with yourself. It takes a lot of strength the be honest about struggles, so thank you for sharing your story.
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I can see how counting calories could lead someone into having an eating disorder. I just come here for advice, I don’t count calories and I’m still managing to lose weight and there’s others who manage to lose weight without counting also, it’s possible so don’t get discouraged. Good luck girl xo4
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Terry_Fireworks wrote: »This is why I deleted Facebook.
Deleting Facebook probably has helped many for different reasons...14 -
I can see how counting calories could lead someone into having an eating disorder. I just come here for advice, I don’t count calories and I’m still managing to lose weight and there’s others who manage to lose weight without counting also, it’s possible so don’t get discouraged. Good luck girl xo
Absolutely, I agree with this. I have no interest in counting calories/points, etc. I do time restricted eating and just kind of loosely monitor what I am eating most days..somedays I go overboard but whatever as long as I stay within my eating window I am not too concerned.4 -
I can see how counting calories could lead someone into having an eating disorder. I just come here for advice, I don’t count calories and I’m still managing to lose weight and there’s others who manage to lose weight without counting also, it’s possible so don’t get discouraged. Good luck girl xo
Oh, I imagine the roots of disordered eating are there before calorie counting comes into play.
Sure, calorie counting could exacerbate an ED, but I think it unlikely that it could create one in someone who otherwise had a healthy relationship with food and numbers.23 -
I've been here for years and that has not been my experience.11
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Terry_Fireworks wrote: »This is why I deleted Facebook.
Deleting Facebook probably has helped many for different reasons...
When the executives ban their children from using it...and smartphones...
...this should tell you something.13 -
When I read this it never ceases to amaze me of the shear level of misinformation and disinformation that is out there resulting in such a large part of the population in a similar state as the OP.
The relentless pursuit of short term fleeting gains which are doomed to fail.
The emotional attachment to this process.
The focusing on all the wrong things.
Reading this I would agree with your assessment that it is healthier to turn away and work on your mindset. Weight should not be the goal, but a byproduct of a larger goal.12 -
I can see how counting calories could lead someone into having an eating disorder. I just come here for advice, I don’t count calories and I’m still managing to lose weight and there’s others who manage to lose weight without counting also, it’s possible so don’t get discouraged. Good luck girl xo
Absolutely, I agree with this. I have no interest in counting calories/points, etc. I do time restricted eating and just kind of loosely monitor what I am eating most days..somedays I go overboard but whatever as long as I stay within my eating window I am not too concerned.
Awesome. Eating in moderation and burning calories usually 30 mins a couple times a week is working for me.2 -
I am very glad you figured out that there exists a problem and that you're taking steps to combat it.
You may want to talk to someone to help you recover faster.
MFP is a tool just like someone mentioned above: a hammer.
You can use a hammer correctly or you can keep banging your hand.
Larger than appropriate deficits have been known to bring around ED type thoughts and behavior in individuals.
Some individuals are more and some individuals are less susceptible to that. And many would not have had reason to know ahead of time that they might be susceptible!
In fact, if you engage in real starvation type behavior then ED thoughts are quite likely and persist for a substantial period of time even in people who would not have been deemed susceptible.
The less fat reserves your have (closer to normal weight you are) the less likely it is to be able to apply large deficits over long periods of time successfully and without side effects.
And unfortunately the type of behavior described in the initial post is the classic overdoing things behavior that so many posters go around trying to warn people about by urging them to proceed in a cautious, sane, and sustainable manner as opposed to aiming for swift results using huge deficits.
To the OP: backtrack, try to eat at maintenance for a year, and proceed very cautiously and slowly in future attempts to lose weight. Better yet: get some help from a pro to recover.
(The classic reference to the issues I discuss above is really not that hard to find. The Minnesota semi-starvation experiment applied approximately 50% deficits to people of normal weight with the men involved eating more than 1500 calories a day while starving to unhealthily low weight levels due to the activity level they were engaged in. Participants selected to have no indication of susceptibility to psychological problems developed a multitude of eating disorder type issues that in many cases persisted well after their food intake and weight were restored)11 -
Honestly, and not trying to be a *kitten*, but this is an issue between you and your therapist. People can become obsessive or anxiety ridden over anything. But it has nothing to do with mfp.20
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Bry_Fitness70 wrote: »I have a very clinical approach to it - I log my food, try to adhere reasonably close to my daily net calories limit, and get a minimal amount of protein. My fitness tracker calculates the calories and loads it into MFP. I have a digital scale that loads my weight into MFP. I have it all set up so I can do my fitness accounting in 15 minutes a day and then go about my life without worrying about it.
To me, the less social and emotional you can be about eating and fitness the more sustainable it is - I know others will disagree and that if you do happen to agree, it easier said than done. I hope you find a system that works for you and makes you happy
I agree and this is how I view it as well. However, it took me a while to figure it out. Somewhere in my early to mid-teens emotions became attached to food and body image. Guess I was just being a normal teenage girl, but I didn't like how it affected me so I tried to use the same approach I had as a child when it came to food: eat when I'm hungry, stop when I've had enough. Done. Go outside and play. Move on with my day. Sounds simplistic but it works for me.5 -
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You have to do what’s right for you. If this tool is leading you into unhealthy habits, then sure- refrain from using this resource. But the mindsets you speak of on your post are not the values of MyFitnessPal. In fact, it’s this same group that pushed me to INCREASE my calories to slow down my weight loss process to be healthier! I was trying to loose two pounds a week at 1,200 calories but was encouraged to go to 1,350 calories to lose 1 pound per week. I only have about 15 left to lose. Good luck on your journey. I’ve dealt with a minor eating disorder and needed to seek help.5
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Honestly, and not trying to be a *kitten*, but this is an issue between you and your therapist. People can become obsessive or anxiety ridden over anything. But it has nothing to do with mfp.
Curious on how many financial advisors and debt specialists recommend throwing out checkbook balance sheets to clients with debt issues.
Beginning to understand why we have an obesity problem with "professionals" doling out such advice.20 -
Honestly, and not trying to be a *kitten*, but this is an issue between you and your therapist. People can become obsessive or anxiety ridden over anything. But it has nothing to do with mfp.
Curious on how many financial advisors and debt specialists recommend throwing out checkbook balance sheets to clients with debt issues.
Beginning to understand why we have an obesity problem with "professionals" doling out such advice.
Not the same thing.
There are other ways to manage one's weight besides using MFP. For people with eating disorders, obsessing over calories and counting them can be a big part of their issues.
To the OP... I hope you seek professional help. The thing that most concerned me in your original post was seeing how low your calorie intake often was while you were caught in this whole spiral. There are obviously some issues you have with food and body image that you need to have sorted out, and right now restricting food and any tools like MFP for doing that aren't in your best interest. Go see your doctor and tell them everything that's happened and get yourself some help. Best to you.12 -
I think you should do whatever you feel is necessary for your own mental health. My (unprofessional) opinion is that your relationship with food goes far beyond the issue with calorie counting, but if you feel that MFP is a catalyst, I definitely support taking a break from it. I hope you are able to seek help from a therapist who can guide you through this.
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It's good that you've acknowledged the problem and it sounds like calorie counting may not be for you. I do think it's interesting that you noted how others in these forums tried to point out your disordered thinking to no avail. It shows that there is good guidance and advice to be found here if a person is open to it.
I'm hoping the fact that there's no mention of an appt. with an ED specialist is just an oversight.
Wish you the best with your recovery, OP. 3 -
Honestly, and not trying to be a *kitten*, but this is an issue between you and your therapist. People can become obsessive or anxiety ridden over anything. But it has nothing to do with mfp.
Curious on how many financial advisors and debt specialists recommend throwing out checkbook balance sheets to clients with debt issues.
Beginning to understand why we have an obesity problem with "professionals" doling out such advice.
Someone needs an education on how EDs work.
OP- I agree it's time to step away from MFP. I also agree with everyone who suggested seeing a counselor, specifically an ED specialist. I've been there, and I've counseled others who have been there. You can and will get past this- you've already taken the first step by recognizing the issue. Kudos and best wishes to you!10
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