Why can't I take my own advice?
angelsja
Posts: 859 Member
So I'm back at it again I started in 2016 lost 3 stone by myself before I discovered mfp then lost another stone put it back on lost it again now I'm up 2 stone from where I was. I belong to a mfp Facebook group and people come on there with the 1200 calories not eating exercise cals back rushing their weight loss and I tell them the dangers of under fueling their body and 1200 is too low etc etc yet here Ian falling into the same traps I did before I'm on 1500 cals a day not eating exercise cals feeling tired and grumpy and cold all the time except just after meals, so why can't I take my own advice for reference I'm 5ft 8 186lbs I want to lose another 46lbs lost 6lbs in just under 3weeks
4
Replies
-
sounds like you feel the need to punish yourself because you re overweight, so you're doing it the hard way?
for me, i love my body for all the amazing things it can do, regardless of my weight... and because i love my body i want to keep it healthy and strong, so i am trying to lose a little fat, do exercises that keep me injury free, and eat a diet of mainly nourishing things, with some treats and a little bit of booze as well.12 -
TavistockToad wrote: »sounds like you feel the need to punish yourself because you re overweight, so you're doing it the hard way?
for me, i love my body for all the amazing things it can do, regardless of my weight... and because i love my body i want to keep it healthy and strong, so i am trying to lose a little fat, do exercises that keep me injury free, and eat a diet of mainly nourishing things, with some treats and a little bit of booze as well.
I don't think I feel the need to punish myself I do feel like I need to get the weight off due to the fact my clothes are so tight and I can't afford to go out and buy new ones. I'm eating the food I like and eating the same as my family in the evening but 0 treats because I can't control myself once I start no eating after 5pm since that sets me off wanting to eat everything. It's my birthday in 10 days and we usually have a Domino's or go out to a buffet which is causing me anxiety even though I've pre logged Domino's and it came in at over 4k calories (can't believe how many times we've had that and not realize) however if we go to the this buffet there is absolutely no way to log as I'll eat ALL the things and the dessert is buffet too
1 -
TavistockToad wrote: »sounds like you feel the need to punish yourself because you re overweight, so you're doing it the hard way?
for me, i love my body for all the amazing things it can do, regardless of my weight... and because i love my body i want to keep it healthy and strong, so i am trying to lose a little fat, do exercises that keep me injury free, and eat a diet of mainly nourishing things, with some treats and a little bit of booze as well.
I don't think I feel the need to punish myself I do feel like I need to get the weight off due to the fact my clothes are so tight and I can't afford to go out and buy new ones. I'm eating the food I like and eating the same as my family in the evening but 0 treats because I can't control myself once I start no eating after 5pm since that sets me off wanting to eat everything. It's my birthday in 10 days and we usually have a Domino's or go out to a buffet which is causing me anxiety even though I've pre logged Domino's and it came in at over 4k calories (can't believe how many times we've had that and not realize) however if we go to the this buffet there is absolutely no way to log as I'll eat ALL the things and the dessert is buffet too
You probably know yourself that one day isn't going to make any massive difference to your weight loss, sure it might drop it back a day or two. If you've lost around 6lbs in 3 weeks that's a 1000 calorie deficit per day. So that puts your maintenance at around 2500. Being 1500 calories over on one day but eating at your deficit the rest of the week would still have you in a deficit over the week of 5500 calories and losing 1.5lbs roughly rather than 2lbs.
Is all the pressure you're putting on yourself really worth the anxiety over half a pound not lost?
The fact is either is probably going to look like you've gained afterward because of the sodium and carbs, but that will just be water retention.4 -
TavistockToad wrote: »sounds like you feel the need to punish yourself because you re overweight, so you're doing it the hard way?
for me, i love my body for all the amazing things it can do, regardless of my weight... and because i love my body i want to keep it healthy and strong, so i am trying to lose a little fat, do exercises that keep me injury free, and eat a diet of mainly nourishing things, with some treats and a little bit of booze as well.
I don't think I feel the need to punish myself I do feel like I need to get the weight off due to the fact my clothes are so tight and I can't afford to go out and buy new ones. I'm eating the food I like and eating the same as my family in the evening but 0 treats because I can't control myself once I start no eating after 5pm since that sets me off wanting to eat everything. It's my birthday in 10 days and we usually have a Domino's or go out to a buffet which is causing me anxiety even though I've pre logged Domino's and it came in at over 4k calories (can't believe how many times we've had that and not realize) however if we go to the this buffet there is absolutely no way to log as I'll eat ALL the things and the dessert is buffet too
and the weight will come off, but you don't need to feel tired, cold and grumpy for that to happen. which you know.
one meal of 4000 cals for your birthday isn't the end of the world, and actually you can probably more or less fit it in to your week.
set your calories to maintenance, bank 500 cals per day for 6 days, enjoy the birthday meal, get back to your deficit the following week.
6 -
The thing is I know that one day won't make that much difference and I really want to be able to enjoy my birthday but it's like I'm torn between having my birthday treat and keeping on track my brain won't let me think I can have it both ways I'm actually averaging over 2500 calories out per day as per my Fitbit crunched the numbers from the 27th January to 5th February Fitbit calculated loss of 3.6lbs actual loss of 3.4lbs so pretty accurate but once I've calculated my 3 meals for the day my brain goes right that's it even yesterday when I did 19k steps and got slot of calories extra I had eaten 1498 so my brain said nope you've had your 3 meals and it's after 5pm so you'll just end up binging (even though there isn't any "bad" food for me to binge on)6
-
The thing is I know that one day won't make that much difference and I really want to be able to enjoy my birthday but it's like I'm torn between having my birthday treat and keeping on track my brain won't let me think I can have it both ways I'm actually averaging over 2500 calories out per day as per my Fitbit crunched the numbers from the 27th January to 5th February Fitbit calculated loss of 3.6lbs actual loss of 3.4lbs so pretty accurate but once I've calculated my 3 meals for the day my brain goes right that's it even yesterday when I did 19k steps and got slot of calories extra I had eaten 1498 so my brain said nope you've had your 3 meals and it's after 5pm so you'll just end up binging (even though there isn't any "bad" food for me to binge on)
you're aware the mindset isn't healthy, and i would suggest that if your brain is giving you such a hard time then you need more support than the forums here can offer.
you don't need telling that 3.4lbs in 10 days is crash diet territory
12 -
TavistockToad wrote: »The thing is I know that one day won't make that much difference and I really want to be able to enjoy my birthday but it's like I'm torn between having my birthday treat and keeping on track my brain won't let me think I can have it both ways I'm actually averaging over 2500 calories out per day as per my Fitbit crunched the numbers from the 27th January to 5th February Fitbit calculated loss of 3.6lbs actual loss of 3.4lbs so pretty accurate but once I've calculated my 3 meals for the day my brain goes right that's it even yesterday when I did 19k steps and got slot of calories extra I had eaten 1498 so my brain said nope you've had your 3 meals and it's after 5pm so you'll just end up binging (even though there isn't any "bad" food for me to binge on)
you're aware the mindset isn't healthy, and i would suggest that if your brain is giving you such a hard time then you need more support than the forums here can offer.
you don't need telling that 3.4lbs in 10 days is crash diet territory
That's probably true but not a option for me so guess I just gotta keep strong0 -
TavistockToad wrote: »The thing is I know that one day won't make that much difference and I really want to be able to enjoy my birthday but it's like I'm torn between having my birthday treat and keeping on track my brain won't let me think I can have it both ways I'm actually averaging over 2500 calories out per day as per my Fitbit crunched the numbers from the 27th January to 5th February Fitbit calculated loss of 3.6lbs actual loss of 3.4lbs so pretty accurate but once I've calculated my 3 meals for the day my brain goes right that's it even yesterday when I did 19k steps and got slot of calories extra I had eaten 1498 so my brain said nope you've had your 3 meals and it's after 5pm so you'll just end up binging (even though there isn't any "bad" food for me to binge on)
you're aware the mindset isn't healthy, and i would suggest that if your brain is giving you such a hard time then you need more support than the forums here can offer.
you don't need telling that 3.4lbs in 10 days is crash diet territory
That's probably true but not a option for me so guess I just gotta keep strong
why is it not an option?
5 -
I've lost 6.4 lbs since the 14 January (this is when I started exercing and cutting my portions) started tracking on mfp again 18days ago given water weight loss etc I didn't think that was a fast loss?0
-
Can relate! I was actually talking to my dad about this last night. He has an app on his phone that he can go to when he's feeling stressed or anxious and it asks you questions, one of which is "what would you advise someone else to do in this situation?" and for him, having to write that down and engage with the idea (not just having it as a vague idea in your head) is very helpful. It's an NHS app he uses but you can take that one idea if you think it might work for you. Like journalling.
I do some self-talk currently but I think I am going to start writing things down to give logic-brain an advantage over emotional-brain.
Also, if the buffet is giving you anxiety you don't have to go there. You can do something else. I would never say that you have to restrict yourself on your birthday and you absolutely should do the buffet if that's what you love to do (that's a free day as far as I'm concerned, I ate half of my own birthday cake for example and it was a calorie WMD) but if anxiety going to affect how much you enjoy yourself you can find an alternative. Focus on what you're going to enjoy the most, that's the important thing.4 -
Can relate! I was actually talking to my dad about this last night. He has an app on his phone that he can go to when he's feeling stressed or anxious and it asks you questions, one of which is "what would you advise someone else to do in this situation?" and for him, having to write that down and engage with the idea (not just having it as a vague idea in your head) is very helpful. It's an NHS app he uses but you can take that one idea if you think it might work for you. Like journalling.
I do some self-talk currently but I think I am going to start writing things down to give logic-brain an advantage over emotional-brain.
Also, if the buffet is giving you anxiety you don't have to go there. You can do something else. I would never say that you have to restrict yourself on your birthday and you absolutely should do the buffet if that's what you love to do (that's a free day as far as I'm concerned, I ate half of my own birthday cake for example and it was a calorie WMD) but if anxiety going to affect how much you enjoy yourself you can find an alternative. Focus on what you're going to enjoy the most, that's the important thing.
On the day I would definitely enjoy the buffet we have been before my kids love it my OH loves it it's just afterwards feeling uncomfortably full then the next few days/week with the bump in the scale (which I know will be mostly water weight) I just want to get dressed up and go out for my birthday without feeling guilty afterwards I honestly don't know how I lost 3 stone in 2016/2017 by myself I use to be 15 stone I got down to 12 seemingly effortlessly 1 -
Can relate! I was actually talking to my dad about this last night. He has an app on his phone that he can go to when he's feeling stressed or anxious and it asks you questions, one of which is "what would you advise someone else to do in this situation?" and for him, having to write that down and engage with the idea (not just having it as a vague idea in your head) is very helpful. It's an NHS app he uses but you can take that one idea if you think it might work for you. Like journalling.
I do some self-talk currently but I think I am going to start writing things down to give logic-brain an advantage over emotional-brain.
Also, if the buffet is giving you anxiety you don't have to go there. You can do something else. I would never say that you have to restrict yourself on your birthday and you absolutely should do the buffet if that's what you love to do (that's a free day as far as I'm concerned, I ate half of my own birthday cake for example and it was a calorie WMD) but if anxiety going to affect how much you enjoy yourself you can find an alternative. Focus on what you're going to enjoy the most, that's the important thing.
On the day I would definitely enjoy the buffet we have been before my kids love it my OH loves it it's just afterwards feeling uncomfortably full then the next few days/week with the bump in the scale (which I know will be mostly water weight) I just want to get dressed up and go out for my birthday without feeling guilty afterwards I honestly don't know how I lost 3 stone in 2016/2017 by myself I use to be 15 stone I got down to 12 seemingly effortlessly
Only you can tackle the guilty feeling, there is no logical reason for you to feel guilty about enjoying a meal on your birthday that is going to have little to no impact on your goals, which absolutely is an option for you.
As @TavistockToad said your relationship with food/anxiety probably need to be dealt with in a more professional environment, rather than here on the forums, because it's really not a healthy way to be thinking.1 -
On the day I would definitely enjoy the buffet we have been before my kids love it my OH loves it it's just afterwards feeling uncomfortably full then the next few days/week with the bump in the scale (which I know will be mostly water weight) I just want to get dressed up and go out for my birthday without feeling guilty afterwards I honestly don't know how I lost 3 stone in 2016/2017 by myself I use to be 15 stone I got down to 12 seemingly effortlessly
I doubt it was effortless the first time. Your brain plays tricks on you that way. You probably don't remember the same stage from the last time because so much has happened since, including obviously a lot of success. I'm doing the same thing right now, getting back into the gym in the mornings and wondering how I used to do that and not be miserable. I know I was miserable, my partner can tell me that from the complaining he does remember.
If you do the buffet or not there's a way to get a positive spin on it. If you feel guilty (which you know is illogical) then work through it. Do it anyway. Tell the guilt where to shove it. If you choose to do something else then you're taking a step in managing your mental health, picking your battles, smoothing the road for yourself. Both are equally valid options and again, what matters most is how you feel about it.3 -
TavistockToad wrote: »The thing is I know that one day won't make that much difference and I really want to be able to enjoy my birthday but it's like I'm torn between having my birthday treat and keeping on track my brain won't let me think I can have it both ways I'm actually averaging over 2500 calories out per day as per my Fitbit crunched the numbers from the 27th January to 5th February Fitbit calculated loss of 3.6lbs actual loss of 3.4lbs so pretty accurate but once I've calculated my 3 meals for the day my brain goes right that's it even yesterday when I did 19k steps and got slot of calories extra I had eaten 1498 so my brain said nope you've had your 3 meals and it's after 5pm so you'll just end up binging (even though there isn't any "bad" food for me to binge on)
you're aware the mindset isn't healthy, and i would suggest that if your brain is giving you such a hard time then you need more support than the forums here can offer.
you don't need telling that 3.4lbs in 10 days is crash diet territory
That's probably true but not a option for me so guess I just gotta keep strong
This is an option.. manipulating calories during this one week will work, you can either PLAN to enjoy your birthday or not. Everything is about choices.
If you are back at weight loss, then something you did prior did not work, changing your mindset takes time and looking at the future you as in how you handle weight loss way into maintenance is something you should work on during this next round of weight loss.5 -
TavistockToad wrote: »The thing is I know that one day won't make that much difference and I really want to be able to enjoy my birthday but it's like I'm torn between having my birthday treat and keeping on track my brain won't let me think I can have it both ways I'm actually averaging over 2500 calories out per day as per my Fitbit crunched the numbers from the 27th January to 5th February Fitbit calculated loss of 3.6lbs actual loss of 3.4lbs so pretty accurate but once I've calculated my 3 meals for the day my brain goes right that's it even yesterday when I did 19k steps and got slot of calories extra I had eaten 1498 so my brain said nope you've had your 3 meals and it's after 5pm so you'll just end up binging (even though there isn't any "bad" food for me to binge on)
you're aware the mindset isn't healthy, and i would suggest that if your brain is giving you such a hard time then you need more support than the forums here can offer.
you don't need telling that 3.4lbs in 10 days is crash diet territory
That's probably true but not a option for me so guess I just gotta keep strong
This is an option.. manipulating calories during this one week will work, you can either PLAN to enjoy your birthday or not. Everything is about choices.
If you are back at weight loss, then something you did prior did not work, changing your mindset takes time and looking at the future you as in how you handle weight loss way into maintenance is something you should work on during this next round of weight loss.
I meant getting help isn't a option for me right now and what didn't work before is I was over restrictive I stopped logging when I had "bad" days I had and still have a all or nothing mentality but as I said in my OP I'm failing into same traps as before only slightly better eg I'm set to lightly active not sedentary as before I didn't except the 1200 mfp threw at me Ive set it to 1500 but I'm not eating my exercise calories and I'm burning on average as per my Fitbit over 2600 cals a day. However I am still 2 stone down from my starting weight in 2016 do I'm desperately hanging onto that small victory1 -
TavistockToad wrote: »The thing is I know that one day won't make that much difference and I really want to be able to enjoy my birthday but it's like I'm torn between having my birthday treat and keeping on track my brain won't let me think I can have it both ways I'm actually averaging over 2500 calories out per day as per my Fitbit crunched the numbers from the 27th January to 5th February Fitbit calculated loss of 3.6lbs actual loss of 3.4lbs so pretty accurate but once I've calculated my 3 meals for the day my brain goes right that's it even yesterday when I did 19k steps and got slot of calories extra I had eaten 1498 so my brain said nope you've had your 3 meals and it's after 5pm so you'll just end up binging (even though there isn't any "bad" food for me to binge on)
you're aware the mindset isn't healthy, and i would suggest that if your brain is giving you such a hard time then you need more support than the forums here can offer.
you don't need telling that 3.4lbs in 10 days is crash diet territory
That's probably true but not a option for me so guess I just gotta keep strong
This is an option.. manipulating calories during this one week will work, you can either PLAN to enjoy your birthday or not. Everything is about choices.
If you are back at weight loss, then something you did prior did not work, changing your mindset takes time and looking at the future you as in how you handle weight loss way into maintenance is something you should work on during this next round of weight loss.
I meant getting help isn't a option for me right now and what didn't work before is I was over restrictive I stopped logging when I had "bad" days I had and still have a all or nothing mentality but as I said in my OP I'm failing into same traps as before only slightly better eg I'm set to lightly active not sedentary as before I didn't except the 1200 mfp threw at me Ive set it to 1500 but I'm not eating my exercise calories and I'm burning on average as per my Fitbit over 2600 cals a day. However I am still 2 stone down from my starting weight in 2016 do I'm desperately hanging onto that small victory
But you have very high anxiety just over your birthday coming up. You will have many more birthdays and holidays and other social events as well. How you handle weight loss mentally and emotionally is part of the physical weight loss. I think maybe (and this is just my observation from your threads) you focus on the right now and not looking far enough into long term success with your weight loss.
Working on the brain takes time, if you cannot get help right now, you do the best you can with what you have. Maybe look for online resources that are free. I would definitely stop participating in online forums that are feeding into my brain negatively.4 -
TavistockToad wrote: »The thing is I know that one day won't make that much difference and I really want to be able to enjoy my birthday but it's like I'm torn between having my birthday treat and keeping on track my brain won't let me think I can have it both ways I'm actually averaging over 2500 calories out per day as per my Fitbit crunched the numbers from the 27th January to 5th February Fitbit calculated loss of 3.6lbs actual loss of 3.4lbs so pretty accurate but once I've calculated my 3 meals for the day my brain goes right that's it even yesterday when I did 19k steps and got slot of calories extra I had eaten 1498 so my brain said nope you've had your 3 meals and it's after 5pm so you'll just end up binging (even though there isn't any "bad" food for me to binge on)
you're aware the mindset isn't healthy, and i would suggest that if your brain is giving you such a hard time then you need more support than the forums here can offer.
you don't need telling that 3.4lbs in 10 days is crash diet territory
That's probably true but not a option for me so guess I just gotta keep strong
This is an option.. manipulating calories during this one week will work, you can either PLAN to enjoy your birthday or not. Everything is about choices.
If you are back at weight loss, then something you did prior did not work, changing your mindset takes time and looking at the future you as in how you handle weight loss way into maintenance is something you should work on during this next round of weight loss.
I meant getting help isn't a option for me right now and what didn't work before is I was over restrictive I stopped logging when I had "bad" days I had and still have a all or nothing mentality but as I said in my OP I'm failing into same traps as before only slightly better eg I'm set to lightly active not sedentary as before I didn't except the 1200 mfp threw at me Ive set it to 1500 but I'm not eating my exercise calories and I'm burning on average as per my Fitbit over 2600 cals a day. However I am still 2 stone down from my starting weight in 2016 do I'm desperately hanging onto that small victory
But you have very high anxiety just over your birthday coming up. You will have many more birthdays and holidays and other social events as well. How you handle weight loss mentally and emotionally is part of the physical weight loss. I think maybe (and this is just my observation from your threads) you focus on the right now and not looking far enough into long term success with your weight loss.
Working on the brain takes time, if you cannot get help right now, you do the best you can with what you have. Maybe look for online resources that are free. I would definitely stop participating in online forums that are feeding into my brain negatively.
I would hope by Christmas/my next birthday I'll be at goal I've set my goal date for 30th November which is my daughter's birthday other than that I don't have social events0 -
TavistockToad wrote: »The thing is I know that one day won't make that much difference and I really want to be able to enjoy my birthday but it's like I'm torn between having my birthday treat and keeping on track my brain won't let me think I can have it both ways I'm actually averaging over 2500 calories out per day as per my Fitbit crunched the numbers from the 27th January to 5th February Fitbit calculated loss of 3.6lbs actual loss of 3.4lbs so pretty accurate but once I've calculated my 3 meals for the day my brain goes right that's it even yesterday when I did 19k steps and got slot of calories extra I had eaten 1498 so my brain said nope you've had your 3 meals and it's after 5pm so you'll just end up binging (even though there isn't any "bad" food for me to binge on)
you're aware the mindset isn't healthy, and i would suggest that if your brain is giving you such a hard time then you need more support than the forums here can offer.
you don't need telling that 3.4lbs in 10 days is crash diet territory
That's probably true but not a option for me so guess I just gotta keep strong
This is an option.. manipulating calories during this one week will work, you can either PLAN to enjoy your birthday or not. Everything is about choices.
If you are back at weight loss, then something you did prior did not work, changing your mindset takes time and looking at the future you as in how you handle weight loss way into maintenance is something you should work on during this next round of weight loss.
I meant getting help isn't a option for me right now and what didn't work before is I was over restrictive I stopped logging when I had "bad" days I had and still have a all or nothing mentality but as I said in my OP I'm failing into same traps as before only slightly better eg I'm set to lightly active not sedentary as before I didn't except the 1200 mfp threw at me Ive set it to 1500 but I'm not eating my exercise calories and I'm burning on average as per my Fitbit over 2600 cals a day. However I am still 2 stone down from my starting weight in 2016 do I'm desperately hanging onto that small victory
But you have very high anxiety just over your birthday coming up. You will have many more birthdays and holidays and other social events as well. How you handle weight loss mentally and emotionally is part of the physical weight loss. I think maybe (and this is just my observation from your threads) you focus on the right now and not looking far enough into long term success with your weight loss.
Working on the brain takes time, if you cannot get help right now, you do the best you can with what you have. Maybe look for online resources that are free. I would definitely stop participating in online forums that are feeding into my brain negatively.
I would hope by Christmas/my next birthday I'll be at goal I've set my goal date for 30th November which is my daughter's birthday other than that I don't have social events
Yes but it's not just about getting to goal it's about maintaining it too, are you not going to have the same anxiety when you're trying to maintain the loss too? To keep the weight off you can't just get to goal then go back to what you were doing before, so you're going to have years of birthdays/Christmas etc.3 -
I would hope by Christmas/my next birthday I'll be at goal I've set my goal date for 30th November which is my daughter's birthday other than that I don't have social events
Could this be part of your problem? You have set yourself and deadline and you are worried about meeting it rather than focusing on this as a lifelong change that will take time to achieve and work to maintain.1 -
tinkerbellang83 wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »The thing is I know that one day won't make that much difference and I really want to be able to enjoy my birthday but it's like I'm torn between having my birthday treat and keeping on track my brain won't let me think I can have it both ways I'm actually averaging over 2500 calories out per day as per my Fitbit crunched the numbers from the 27th January to 5th February Fitbit calculated loss of 3.6lbs actual loss of 3.4lbs so pretty accurate but once I've calculated my 3 meals for the day my brain goes right that's it even yesterday when I did 19k steps and got slot of calories extra I had eaten 1498 so my brain said nope you've had your 3 meals and it's after 5pm so you'll just end up binging (even though there isn't any "bad" food for me to binge on)
you're aware the mindset isn't healthy, and i would suggest that if your brain is giving you such a hard time then you need more support than the forums here can offer.
you don't need telling that 3.4lbs in 10 days is crash diet territory
That's probably true but not a option for me so guess I just gotta keep strong
This is an option.. manipulating calories during this one week will work, you can either PLAN to enjoy your birthday or not. Everything is about choices.
If you are back at weight loss, then something you did prior did not work, changing your mindset takes time and looking at the future you as in how you handle weight loss way into maintenance is something you should work on during this next round of weight loss.
I meant getting help isn't a option for me right now and what didn't work before is I was over restrictive I stopped logging when I had "bad" days I had and still have a all or nothing mentality but as I said in my OP I'm failing into same traps as before only slightly better eg I'm set to lightly active not sedentary as before I didn't except the 1200 mfp threw at me Ive set it to 1500 but I'm not eating my exercise calories and I'm burning on average as per my Fitbit over 2600 cals a day. However I am still 2 stone down from my starting weight in 2016 do I'm desperately hanging onto that small victory
But you have very high anxiety just over your birthday coming up. You will have many more birthdays and holidays and other social events as well. How you handle weight loss mentally and emotionally is part of the physical weight loss. I think maybe (and this is just my observation from your threads) you focus on the right now and not looking far enough into long term success with your weight loss.
Working on the brain takes time, if you cannot get help right now, you do the best you can with what you have. Maybe look for online resources that are free. I would definitely stop participating in online forums that are feeding into my brain negatively.
I would hope by Christmas/my next birthday I'll be at goal I've set my goal date for 30th November which is my daughter's birthday other than that I don't have social events
Yes but it's not just about getting to goal it's about maintaining it too, are you not going to have the same anxiety when you're trying to maintain the loss too? To keep the weight off you can't just get to goal then go back to what you were doing before, so you're going to have years of birthdays/Christmas etc.
No because I know how I put the weight on I had dessert every night I stopped exercising and was eating the same portions as my partner which obviously I can't do since he is make and 6ft 8 so as long as I don't do that again I'll be ok0 -
I would hope by Christmas/my next birthday I'll be at goal I've set my goal date for 30th November which is my daughter's birthday other than that I don't have social events
Could this be part of your problem? You have set yourself and deadline and you are worried about meeting it rather than focusing on this as a lifelong change that will take time to achieve and work to maintain.
I'm not worried about the deadline I don't think 46lbs by 30th November is overly aggressive I'm mainly worried about sticking to it as I have floated in and out of mfp for 2 years now0 -
tinkerbellang83 wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »The thing is I know that one day won't make that much difference and I really want to be able to enjoy my birthday but it's like I'm torn between having my birthday treat and keeping on track my brain won't let me think I can have it both ways I'm actually averaging over 2500 calories out per day as per my Fitbit crunched the numbers from the 27th January to 5th February Fitbit calculated loss of 3.6lbs actual loss of 3.4lbs so pretty accurate but once I've calculated my 3 meals for the day my brain goes right that's it even yesterday when I did 19k steps and got slot of calories extra I had eaten 1498 so my brain said nope you've had your 3 meals and it's after 5pm so you'll just end up binging (even though there isn't any "bad" food for me to binge on)
you're aware the mindset isn't healthy, and i would suggest that if your brain is giving you such a hard time then you need more support than the forums here can offer.
you don't need telling that 3.4lbs in 10 days is crash diet territory
That's probably true but not a option for me so guess I just gotta keep strong
This is an option.. manipulating calories during this one week will work, you can either PLAN to enjoy your birthday or not. Everything is about choices.
If you are back at weight loss, then something you did prior did not work, changing your mindset takes time and looking at the future you as in how you handle weight loss way into maintenance is something you should work on during this next round of weight loss.
I meant getting help isn't a option for me right now and what didn't work before is I was over restrictive I stopped logging when I had "bad" days I had and still have a all or nothing mentality but as I said in my OP I'm failing into same traps as before only slightly better eg I'm set to lightly active not sedentary as before I didn't except the 1200 mfp threw at me Ive set it to 1500 but I'm not eating my exercise calories and I'm burning on average as per my Fitbit over 2600 cals a day. However I am still 2 stone down from my starting weight in 2016 do I'm desperately hanging onto that small victory
But you have very high anxiety just over your birthday coming up. You will have many more birthdays and holidays and other social events as well. How you handle weight loss mentally and emotionally is part of the physical weight loss. I think maybe (and this is just my observation from your threads) you focus on the right now and not looking far enough into long term success with your weight loss.
Working on the brain takes time, if you cannot get help right now, you do the best you can with what you have. Maybe look for online resources that are free. I would definitely stop participating in online forums that are feeding into my brain negatively.
I would hope by Christmas/my next birthday I'll be at goal I've set my goal date for 30th November which is my daughter's birthday other than that I don't have social events
Yes but it's not just about getting to goal it's about maintaining it too, are you not going to have the same anxiety when you're trying to maintain the loss too? To keep the weight off you can't just get to goal then go back to what you were doing before, so you're going to have years of birthdays/Christmas etc.
No because I know how I put the weight on I had dessert every night I stopped exercising and was eating the same portions as my partner which obviously I can't do since he is make and 6ft 8 so as long as I don't do that again I'll be ok
So then can you work out why you're so anxious over eating a high calorie meal on your birthday which it seems you're saying you'd only do 2-3 times per year and work on a coping mechanism for it, if you can't/won't seek professional help.
https://www.therapistaid.com/worksheets/coping-skills-anxiety.pdf
https://www.openfit.com/what-is-food-guilt
4 -
tinkerbellang83 wrote: »tinkerbellang83 wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »The thing is I know that one day won't make that much difference and I really want to be able to enjoy my birthday but it's like I'm torn between having my birthday treat and keeping on track my brain won't let me think I can have it both ways I'm actually averaging over 2500 calories out per day as per my Fitbit crunched the numbers from the 27th January to 5th February Fitbit calculated loss of 3.6lbs actual loss of 3.4lbs so pretty accurate but once I've calculated my 3 meals for the day my brain goes right that's it even yesterday when I did 19k steps and got slot of calories extra I had eaten 1498 so my brain said nope you've had your 3 meals and it's after 5pm so you'll just end up binging (even though there isn't any "bad" food for me to binge on)
you're aware the mindset isn't healthy, and i would suggest that if your brain is giving you such a hard time then you need more support than the forums here can offer.
you don't need telling that 3.4lbs in 10 days is crash diet territory
That's probably true but not a option for me so guess I just gotta keep strong
This is an option.. manipulating calories during this one week will work, you can either PLAN to enjoy your birthday or not. Everything is about choices.
If you are back at weight loss, then something you did prior did not work, changing your mindset takes time and looking at the future you as in how you handle weight loss way into maintenance is something you should work on during this next round of weight loss.
I meant getting help isn't a option for me right now and what didn't work before is I was over restrictive I stopped logging when I had "bad" days I had and still have a all or nothing mentality but as I said in my OP I'm failing into same traps as before only slightly better eg I'm set to lightly active not sedentary as before I didn't except the 1200 mfp threw at me Ive set it to 1500 but I'm not eating my exercise calories and I'm burning on average as per my Fitbit over 2600 cals a day. However I am still 2 stone down from my starting weight in 2016 do I'm desperately hanging onto that small victory
But you have very high anxiety just over your birthday coming up. You will have many more birthdays and holidays and other social events as well. How you handle weight loss mentally and emotionally is part of the physical weight loss. I think maybe (and this is just my observation from your threads) you focus on the right now and not looking far enough into long term success with your weight loss.
Working on the brain takes time, if you cannot get help right now, you do the best you can with what you have. Maybe look for online resources that are free. I would definitely stop participating in online forums that are feeding into my brain negatively.
I would hope by Christmas/my next birthday I'll be at goal I've set my goal date for 30th November which is my daughter's birthday other than that I don't have social events
Yes but it's not just about getting to goal it's about maintaining it too, are you not going to have the same anxiety when you're trying to maintain the loss too? To keep the weight off you can't just get to goal then go back to what you were doing before, so you're going to have years of birthdays/Christmas etc.
No because I know how I put the weight on I had dessert every night I stopped exercising and was eating the same portions as my partner which obviously I can't do since he is make and 6ft 8 so as long as I don't do that again I'll be ok
So then can you work out why you're so anxious over eating a high calorie meal on your birthday which it seems you're saying you'd only do 2-3 times per year and work on a coping mechanism for it.
Anxiety doesn't have a ryme or reason to it so no I can't work out why I'm so anxious. I guess I'm just worried it will send me spiralling into not logging/binging etc then I'll be back at square 1 again even though I know one day won't set me back that much but that's if I keep it at just one day0 -
tinkerbellang83 wrote: »tinkerbellang83 wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »The thing is I know that one day won't make that much difference and I really want to be able to enjoy my birthday but it's like I'm torn between having my birthday treat and keeping on track my brain won't let me think I can have it both ways I'm actually averaging over 2500 calories out per day as per my Fitbit crunched the numbers from the 27th January to 5th February Fitbit calculated loss of 3.6lbs actual loss of 3.4lbs so pretty accurate but once I've calculated my 3 meals for the day my brain goes right that's it even yesterday when I did 19k steps and got slot of calories extra I had eaten 1498 so my brain said nope you've had your 3 meals and it's after 5pm so you'll just end up binging (even though there isn't any "bad" food for me to binge on)
you're aware the mindset isn't healthy, and i would suggest that if your brain is giving you such a hard time then you need more support than the forums here can offer.
you don't need telling that 3.4lbs in 10 days is crash diet territory
That's probably true but not a option for me so guess I just gotta keep strong
This is an option.. manipulating calories during this one week will work, you can either PLAN to enjoy your birthday or not. Everything is about choices.
If you are back at weight loss, then something you did prior did not work, changing your mindset takes time and looking at the future you as in how you handle weight loss way into maintenance is something you should work on during this next round of weight loss.
I meant getting help isn't a option for me right now and what didn't work before is I was over restrictive I stopped logging when I had "bad" days I had and still have a all or nothing mentality but as I said in my OP I'm failing into same traps as before only slightly better eg I'm set to lightly active not sedentary as before I didn't except the 1200 mfp threw at me Ive set it to 1500 but I'm not eating my exercise calories and I'm burning on average as per my Fitbit over 2600 cals a day. However I am still 2 stone down from my starting weight in 2016 do I'm desperately hanging onto that small victory
But you have very high anxiety just over your birthday coming up. You will have many more birthdays and holidays and other social events as well. How you handle weight loss mentally and emotionally is part of the physical weight loss. I think maybe (and this is just my observation from your threads) you focus on the right now and not looking far enough into long term success with your weight loss.
Working on the brain takes time, if you cannot get help right now, you do the best you can with what you have. Maybe look for online resources that are free. I would definitely stop participating in online forums that are feeding into my brain negatively.
I would hope by Christmas/my next birthday I'll be at goal I've set my goal date for 30th November which is my daughter's birthday other than that I don't have social events
Yes but it's not just about getting to goal it's about maintaining it too, are you not going to have the same anxiety when you're trying to maintain the loss too? To keep the weight off you can't just get to goal then go back to what you were doing before, so you're going to have years of birthdays/Christmas etc.
No because I know how I put the weight on I had dessert every night I stopped exercising and was eating the same portions as my partner which obviously I can't do since he is make and 6ft 8 so as long as I don't do that again I'll be ok
So then can you work out why you're so anxious over eating a high calorie meal on your birthday which it seems you're saying you'd only do 2-3 times per year and work on a coping mechanism for it.
Anxiety doesn't have a ryme or reason to it so no I can't work out why I'm so anxious. I guess I'm just worried it will send me spiralling into not logging/binging etc then I'll be back at square 1 again even though I know one day won't set me back that much but that's if I keep it at just one day
I would disagree with that somewhat as you have identified the issue, and can put the work in to change the outcome.
Thete are plenty of online resources available for dealing with anxiety, and everyone in this thread has given you ideas for dealing with the actual calories.1 -
tinkerbellang83 wrote: »tinkerbellang83 wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »The thing is I know that one day won't make that much difference and I really want to be able to enjoy my birthday but it's like I'm torn between having my birthday treat and keeping on track my brain won't let me think I can have it both ways I'm actually averaging over 2500 calories out per day as per my Fitbit crunched the numbers from the 27th January to 5th February Fitbit calculated loss of 3.6lbs actual loss of 3.4lbs so pretty accurate but once I've calculated my 3 meals for the day my brain goes right that's it even yesterday when I did 19k steps and got slot of calories extra I had eaten 1498 so my brain said nope you've had your 3 meals and it's after 5pm so you'll just end up binging (even though there isn't any "bad" food for me to binge on)
you're aware the mindset isn't healthy, and i would suggest that if your brain is giving you such a hard time then you need more support than the forums here can offer.
you don't need telling that 3.4lbs in 10 days is crash diet territory
That's probably true but not a option for me so guess I just gotta keep strong
This is an option.. manipulating calories during this one week will work, you can either PLAN to enjoy your birthday or not. Everything is about choices.
If you are back at weight loss, then something you did prior did not work, changing your mindset takes time and looking at the future you as in how you handle weight loss way into maintenance is something you should work on during this next round of weight loss.
I meant getting help isn't a option for me right now and what didn't work before is I was over restrictive I stopped logging when I had "bad" days I had and still have a all or nothing mentality but as I said in my OP I'm failing into same traps as before only slightly better eg I'm set to lightly active not sedentary as before I didn't except the 1200 mfp threw at me Ive set it to 1500 but I'm not eating my exercise calories and I'm burning on average as per my Fitbit over 2600 cals a day. However I am still 2 stone down from my starting weight in 2016 do I'm desperately hanging onto that small victory
But you have very high anxiety just over your birthday coming up. You will have many more birthdays and holidays and other social events as well. How you handle weight loss mentally and emotionally is part of the physical weight loss. I think maybe (and this is just my observation from your threads) you focus on the right now and not looking far enough into long term success with your weight loss.
Working on the brain takes time, if you cannot get help right now, you do the best you can with what you have. Maybe look for online resources that are free. I would definitely stop participating in online forums that are feeding into my brain negatively.
I would hope by Christmas/my next birthday I'll be at goal I've set my goal date for 30th November which is my daughter's birthday other than that I don't have social events
Yes but it's not just about getting to goal it's about maintaining it too, are you not going to have the same anxiety when you're trying to maintain the loss too? To keep the weight off you can't just get to goal then go back to what you were doing before, so you're going to have years of birthdays/Christmas etc.
No because I know how I put the weight on I had dessert every night I stopped exercising and was eating the same portions as my partner which obviously I can't do since he is make and 6ft 8 so as long as I don't do that again I'll be ok
So then can you work out why you're so anxious over eating a high calorie meal on your birthday which it seems you're saying you'd only do 2-3 times per year and work on a coping mechanism for it.
Anxiety doesn't have a ryme or reason to it so no I can't work out why I'm so anxious. I guess I'm just worried it will send me spiralling into not logging/binging etc then I'll be back at square 1 again even though I know one day won't set me back that much but that's if I keep it at just one day
I would also disagree, I have anxiety myself along with OCD and can work out what is triggering me and challenge my illogical thoughts now, but that's because I sought help, not professional help as such but I have worked on having a more positive mindset with the help of others who have suffered and free online resources.
For example, have you considered writing yourself a response to your question as if it was someone else that had posted? Quite often if I am stressing about something irrationally, I ask myself what I would advice I would give to a friend or relative (think this was also mentioned further upthread). Be your own best friend.2 -
tinkerbellang83 wrote: »tinkerbellang83 wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »The thing is I know that one day won't make that much difference and I really want to be able to enjoy my birthday but it's like I'm torn between having my birthday treat and keeping on track my brain won't let me think I can have it both ways I'm actually averaging over 2500 calories out per day as per my Fitbit crunched the numbers from the 27th January to 5th February Fitbit calculated loss of 3.6lbs actual loss of 3.4lbs so pretty accurate but once I've calculated my 3 meals for the day my brain goes right that's it even yesterday when I did 19k steps and got slot of calories extra I had eaten 1498 so my brain said nope you've had your 3 meals and it's after 5pm so you'll just end up binging (even though there isn't any "bad" food for me to binge on)
you're aware the mindset isn't healthy, and i would suggest that if your brain is giving you such a hard time then you need more support than the forums here can offer.
you don't need telling that 3.4lbs in 10 days is crash diet territory
That's probably true but not a option for me so guess I just gotta keep strong
This is an option.. manipulating calories during this one week will work, you can either PLAN to enjoy your birthday or not. Everything is about choices.
If you are back at weight loss, then something you did prior did not work, changing your mindset takes time and looking at the future you as in how you handle weight loss way into maintenance is something you should work on during this next round of weight loss.
I meant getting help isn't a option for me right now and what didn't work before is I was over restrictive I stopped logging when I had "bad" days I had and still have a all or nothing mentality but as I said in my OP I'm failing into same traps as before only slightly better eg I'm set to lightly active not sedentary as before I didn't except the 1200 mfp threw at me Ive set it to 1500 but I'm not eating my exercise calories and I'm burning on average as per my Fitbit over 2600 cals a day. However I am still 2 stone down from my starting weight in 2016 do I'm desperately hanging onto that small victory
But you have very high anxiety just over your birthday coming up. You will have many more birthdays and holidays and other social events as well. How you handle weight loss mentally and emotionally is part of the physical weight loss. I think maybe (and this is just my observation from your threads) you focus on the right now and not looking far enough into long term success with your weight loss.
Working on the brain takes time, if you cannot get help right now, you do the best you can with what you have. Maybe look for online resources that are free. I would definitely stop participating in online forums that are feeding into my brain negatively.
I would hope by Christmas/my next birthday I'll be at goal I've set my goal date for 30th November which is my daughter's birthday other than that I don't have social events
Yes but it's not just about getting to goal it's about maintaining it too, are you not going to have the same anxiety when you're trying to maintain the loss too? To keep the weight off you can't just get to goal then go back to what you were doing before, so you're going to have years of birthdays/Christmas etc.
No because I know how I put the weight on I had dessert every night I stopped exercising and was eating the same portions as my partner which obviously I can't do since he is make and 6ft 8 so as long as I don't do that again I'll be ok
So then can you work out why you're so anxious over eating a high calorie meal on your birthday which it seems you're saying you'd only do 2-3 times per year and work on a coping mechanism for it.
Anxiety doesn't have a ryme or reason to it so no I can't work out why I'm so anxious. I guess I'm just worried it will send me spiralling into not logging/binging etc then I'll be back at square 1 again even though I know one day won't set me back that much but that's if I keep it at just one day
There is stuff you can do for anxiety though. I'm not saying it's a quick process or that it will be reliable 100% of the time, but you don't have to accept this is just the way you are and things can't be different. I'm living proof of that, working with a professional and using some coping techniques regularly has really improved the intensity and frequency of my anxiety.0 -
janejellyroll wrote: »tinkerbellang83 wrote: »tinkerbellang83 wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »The thing is I know that one day won't make that much difference and I really want to be able to enjoy my birthday but it's like I'm torn between having my birthday treat and keeping on track my brain won't let me think I can have it both ways I'm actually averaging over 2500 calories out per day as per my Fitbit crunched the numbers from the 27th January to 5th February Fitbit calculated loss of 3.6lbs actual loss of 3.4lbs so pretty accurate but once I've calculated my 3 meals for the day my brain goes right that's it even yesterday when I did 19k steps and got slot of calories extra I had eaten 1498 so my brain said nope you've had your 3 meals and it's after 5pm so you'll just end up binging (even though there isn't any "bad" food for me to binge on)
you're aware the mindset isn't healthy, and i would suggest that if your brain is giving you such a hard time then you need more support than the forums here can offer.
you don't need telling that 3.4lbs in 10 days is crash diet territory
That's probably true but not a option for me so guess I just gotta keep strong
This is an option.. manipulating calories during this one week will work, you can either PLAN to enjoy your birthday or not. Everything is about choices.
If you are back at weight loss, then something you did prior did not work, changing your mindset takes time and looking at the future you as in how you handle weight loss way into maintenance is something you should work on during this next round of weight loss.
I meant getting help isn't a option for me right now and what didn't work before is I was over restrictive I stopped logging when I had "bad" days I had and still have a all or nothing mentality but as I said in my OP I'm failing into same traps as before only slightly better eg I'm set to lightly active not sedentary as before I didn't except the 1200 mfp threw at me Ive set it to 1500 but I'm not eating my exercise calories and I'm burning on average as per my Fitbit over 2600 cals a day. However I am still 2 stone down from my starting weight in 2016 do I'm desperately hanging onto that small victory
But you have very high anxiety just over your birthday coming up. You will have many more birthdays and holidays and other social events as well. How you handle weight loss mentally and emotionally is part of the physical weight loss. I think maybe (and this is just my observation from your threads) you focus on the right now and not looking far enough into long term success with your weight loss.
Working on the brain takes time, if you cannot get help right now, you do the best you can with what you have. Maybe look for online resources that are free. I would definitely stop participating in online forums that are feeding into my brain negatively.
I would hope by Christmas/my next birthday I'll be at goal I've set my goal date for 30th November which is my daughter's birthday other than that I don't have social events
Yes but it's not just about getting to goal it's about maintaining it too, are you not going to have the same anxiety when you're trying to maintain the loss too? To keep the weight off you can't just get to goal then go back to what you were doing before, so you're going to have years of birthdays/Christmas etc.
No because I know how I put the weight on I had dessert every night I stopped exercising and was eating the same portions as my partner which obviously I can't do since he is make and 6ft 8 so as long as I don't do that again I'll be ok
So then can you work out why you're so anxious over eating a high calorie meal on your birthday which it seems you're saying you'd only do 2-3 times per year and work on a coping mechanism for it.
Anxiety doesn't have a ryme or reason to it so no I can't work out why I'm so anxious. I guess I'm just worried it will send me spiralling into not logging/binging etc then I'll be back at square 1 again even though I know one day won't set me back that much but that's if I keep it at just one day
There is stuff you can do for anxiety though. I'm not saying it's a quick process or that it will be reliable 100% of the time, but you don't have to accept this is just the way you are and things can't be different. I'm living proof of that, working with a professional and using some coping techniques regularly has really improved the intensity and frequency of my anxiety.
Yes there is but my home/family life dictates that I have to be the strong one I cannot fail/fall apart I am the glue that's holding this family together so if I breakdown it all falls apart but thanks everyone for your advice1 -
janejellyroll wrote: »tinkerbellang83 wrote: »tinkerbellang83 wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »The thing is I know that one day won't make that much difference and I really want to be able to enjoy my birthday but it's like I'm torn between having my birthday treat and keeping on track my brain won't let me think I can have it both ways I'm actually averaging over 2500 calories out per day as per my Fitbit crunched the numbers from the 27th January to 5th February Fitbit calculated loss of 3.6lbs actual loss of 3.4lbs so pretty accurate but once I've calculated my 3 meals for the day my brain goes right that's it even yesterday when I did 19k steps and got slot of calories extra I had eaten 1498 so my brain said nope you've had your 3 meals and it's after 5pm so you'll just end up binging (even though there isn't any "bad" food for me to binge on)
you're aware the mindset isn't healthy, and i would suggest that if your brain is giving you such a hard time then you need more support than the forums here can offer.
you don't need telling that 3.4lbs in 10 days is crash diet territory
That's probably true but not a option for me so guess I just gotta keep strong
This is an option.. manipulating calories during this one week will work, you can either PLAN to enjoy your birthday or not. Everything is about choices.
If you are back at weight loss, then something you did prior did not work, changing your mindset takes time and looking at the future you as in how you handle weight loss way into maintenance is something you should work on during this next round of weight loss.
I meant getting help isn't a option for me right now and what didn't work before is I was over restrictive I stopped logging when I had "bad" days I had and still have a all or nothing mentality but as I said in my OP I'm failing into same traps as before only slightly better eg I'm set to lightly active not sedentary as before I didn't except the 1200 mfp threw at me Ive set it to 1500 but I'm not eating my exercise calories and I'm burning on average as per my Fitbit over 2600 cals a day. However I am still 2 stone down from my starting weight in 2016 do I'm desperately hanging onto that small victory
But you have very high anxiety just over your birthday coming up. You will have many more birthdays and holidays and other social events as well. How you handle weight loss mentally and emotionally is part of the physical weight loss. I think maybe (and this is just my observation from your threads) you focus on the right now and not looking far enough into long term success with your weight loss.
Working on the brain takes time, if you cannot get help right now, you do the best you can with what you have. Maybe look for online resources that are free. I would definitely stop participating in online forums that are feeding into my brain negatively.
I would hope by Christmas/my next birthday I'll be at goal I've set my goal date for 30th November which is my daughter's birthday other than that I don't have social events
Yes but it's not just about getting to goal it's about maintaining it too, are you not going to have the same anxiety when you're trying to maintain the loss too? To keep the weight off you can't just get to goal then go back to what you were doing before, so you're going to have years of birthdays/Christmas etc.
No because I know how I put the weight on I had dessert every night I stopped exercising and was eating the same portions as my partner which obviously I can't do since he is make and 6ft 8 so as long as I don't do that again I'll be ok
So then can you work out why you're so anxious over eating a high calorie meal on your birthday which it seems you're saying you'd only do 2-3 times per year and work on a coping mechanism for it.
Anxiety doesn't have a ryme or reason to it so no I can't work out why I'm so anxious. I guess I'm just worried it will send me spiralling into not logging/binging etc then I'll be back at square 1 again even though I know one day won't set me back that much but that's if I keep it at just one day
There is stuff you can do for anxiety though. I'm not saying it's a quick process or that it will be reliable 100% of the time, but you don't have to accept this is just the way you are and things can't be different. I'm living proof of that, working with a professional and using some coping techniques regularly has really improved the intensity and frequency of my anxiety.
Yes there is but my home/family life dictates that I have to be the strong one I cannot fail/fall apart I am the glue that's holding this family together so if I breakdown it all falls apart but thanks everyone for your advice
You can't be the strong one if you don't look after yourself first and foremost, if you don't look after yourself you will suffer for it eventually and then you won't be any use to anyone, then where does that leave the rest of the family?
Taking a little time to yourself when you feel overwhelmed to work out why and try to combat it doesn't make you weak and if it helps you in the long term then you're more likely to succeed.0 -
janejellyroll wrote: »tinkerbellang83 wrote: »tinkerbellang83 wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »The thing is I know that one day won't make that much difference and I really want to be able to enjoy my birthday but it's like I'm torn between having my birthday treat and keeping on track my brain won't let me think I can have it both ways I'm actually averaging over 2500 calories out per day as per my Fitbit crunched the numbers from the 27th January to 5th February Fitbit calculated loss of 3.6lbs actual loss of 3.4lbs so pretty accurate but once I've calculated my 3 meals for the day my brain goes right that's it even yesterday when I did 19k steps and got slot of calories extra I had eaten 1498 so my brain said nope you've had your 3 meals and it's after 5pm so you'll just end up binging (even though there isn't any "bad" food for me to binge on)
you're aware the mindset isn't healthy, and i would suggest that if your brain is giving you such a hard time then you need more support than the forums here can offer.
you don't need telling that 3.4lbs in 10 days is crash diet territory
That's probably true but not a option for me so guess I just gotta keep strong
This is an option.. manipulating calories during this one week will work, you can either PLAN to enjoy your birthday or not. Everything is about choices.
If you are back at weight loss, then something you did prior did not work, changing your mindset takes time and looking at the future you as in how you handle weight loss way into maintenance is something you should work on during this next round of weight loss.
I meant getting help isn't a option for me right now and what didn't work before is I was over restrictive I stopped logging when I had "bad" days I had and still have a all or nothing mentality but as I said in my OP I'm failing into same traps as before only slightly better eg I'm set to lightly active not sedentary as before I didn't except the 1200 mfp threw at me Ive set it to 1500 but I'm not eating my exercise calories and I'm burning on average as per my Fitbit over 2600 cals a day. However I am still 2 stone down from my starting weight in 2016 do I'm desperately hanging onto that small victory
But you have very high anxiety just over your birthday coming up. You will have many more birthdays and holidays and other social events as well. How you handle weight loss mentally and emotionally is part of the physical weight loss. I think maybe (and this is just my observation from your threads) you focus on the right now and not looking far enough into long term success with your weight loss.
Working on the brain takes time, if you cannot get help right now, you do the best you can with what you have. Maybe look for online resources that are free. I would definitely stop participating in online forums that are feeding into my brain negatively.
I would hope by Christmas/my next birthday I'll be at goal I've set my goal date for 30th November which is my daughter's birthday other than that I don't have social events
Yes but it's not just about getting to goal it's about maintaining it too, are you not going to have the same anxiety when you're trying to maintain the loss too? To keep the weight off you can't just get to goal then go back to what you were doing before, so you're going to have years of birthdays/Christmas etc.
No because I know how I put the weight on I had dessert every night I stopped exercising and was eating the same portions as my partner which obviously I can't do since he is make and 6ft 8 so as long as I don't do that again I'll be ok
So then can you work out why you're so anxious over eating a high calorie meal on your birthday which it seems you're saying you'd only do 2-3 times per year and work on a coping mechanism for it.
Anxiety doesn't have a ryme or reason to it so no I can't work out why I'm so anxious. I guess I'm just worried it will send me spiralling into not logging/binging etc then I'll be back at square 1 again even though I know one day won't set me back that much but that's if I keep it at just one day
There is stuff you can do for anxiety though. I'm not saying it's a quick process or that it will be reliable 100% of the time, but you don't have to accept this is just the way you are and things can't be different. I'm living proof of that, working with a professional and using some coping techniques regularly has really improved the intensity and frequency of my anxiety.
Yes there is but my home/family life dictates that I have to be the strong one I cannot fail/fall apart I am the glue that's holding this family together so if I breakdown it all falls apart but thanks everyone for your advice
I'm not recommending you breakdown . . . the opposite actually. Getting help (which, again, is very different from a breakdown) has the potential to make you stronger, which makes your whole family better off.
You can't build a fantastic house on a shaky foundation (I'm not saying you're a shaky foundation, just a general principle of building that can somewhat apply to families as well).
Controlling my anxiety has made me *better* in stressful situations. When my husband was suddenly hospitalized last year, I was able to be more present for him and take care of all the details more efficiently. When our dog died recently, I was able to be more fully present for her in her last hours and support my husband in his grief better. When we have unexpected financial or logistical issues, I find that I think clearer and make better decisions than I may have made in the past. It touches so many parts of our lives and makes things more stable.
It's a myth that high-functioning people don't ever need help. Sometimes we do and the help can make things even better for us and our families.5 -
janejellyroll wrote: »tinkerbellang83 wrote: »tinkerbellang83 wrote: »TavistockToad wrote: »The thing is I know that one day won't make that much difference and I really want to be able to enjoy my birthday but it's like I'm torn between having my birthday treat and keeping on track my brain won't let me think I can have it both ways I'm actually averaging over 2500 calories out per day as per my Fitbit crunched the numbers from the 27th January to 5th February Fitbit calculated loss of 3.6lbs actual loss of 3.4lbs so pretty accurate but once I've calculated my 3 meals for the day my brain goes right that's it even yesterday when I did 19k steps and got slot of calories extra I had eaten 1498 so my brain said nope you've had your 3 meals and it's after 5pm so you'll just end up binging (even though there isn't any "bad" food for me to binge on)
you're aware the mindset isn't healthy, and i would suggest that if your brain is giving you such a hard time then you need more support than the forums here can offer.
you don't need telling that 3.4lbs in 10 days is crash diet territory
That's probably true but not a option for me so guess I just gotta keep strong
This is an option.. manipulating calories during this one week will work, you can either PLAN to enjoy your birthday or not. Everything is about choices.
If you are back at weight loss, then something you did prior did not work, changing your mindset takes time and looking at the future you as in how you handle weight loss way into maintenance is something you should work on during this next round of weight loss.
I meant getting help isn't a option for me right now and what didn't work before is I was over restrictive I stopped logging when I had "bad" days I had and still have a all or nothing mentality but as I said in my OP I'm failing into same traps as before only slightly better eg I'm set to lightly active not sedentary as before I didn't except the 1200 mfp threw at me Ive set it to 1500 but I'm not eating my exercise calories and I'm burning on average as per my Fitbit over 2600 cals a day. However I am still 2 stone down from my starting weight in 2016 do I'm desperately hanging onto that small victory
But you have very high anxiety just over your birthday coming up. You will have many more birthdays and holidays and other social events as well. How you handle weight loss mentally and emotionally is part of the physical weight loss. I think maybe (and this is just my observation from your threads) you focus on the right now and not looking far enough into long term success with your weight loss.
Working on the brain takes time, if you cannot get help right now, you do the best you can with what you have. Maybe look for online resources that are free. I would definitely stop participating in online forums that are feeding into my brain negatively.
I would hope by Christmas/my next birthday I'll be at goal I've set my goal date for 30th November which is my daughter's birthday other than that I don't have social events
Yes but it's not just about getting to goal it's about maintaining it too, are you not going to have the same anxiety when you're trying to maintain the loss too? To keep the weight off you can't just get to goal then go back to what you were doing before, so you're going to have years of birthdays/Christmas etc.
No because I know how I put the weight on I had dessert every night I stopped exercising and was eating the same portions as my partner which obviously I can't do since he is make and 6ft 8 so as long as I don't do that again I'll be ok
So then can you work out why you're so anxious over eating a high calorie meal on your birthday which it seems you're saying you'd only do 2-3 times per year and work on a coping mechanism for it.
Anxiety doesn't have a ryme or reason to it so no I can't work out why I'm so anxious. I guess I'm just worried it will send me spiralling into not logging/binging etc then I'll be back at square 1 again even though I know one day won't set me back that much but that's if I keep it at just one day
There is stuff you can do for anxiety though. I'm not saying it's a quick process or that it will be reliable 100% of the time, but you don't have to accept this is just the way you are and things can't be different. I'm living proof of that, working with a professional and using some coping techniques regularly has really improved the intensity and frequency of my anxiety.
Yes there is but my home/family life dictates that I have to be the strong one I cannot fail/fall apart I am the glue that's holding this family together so if I breakdown it all falls apart but thanks everyone for your advice
Nope, sorry, but that's not how it works in a happy healthy relationship.
I can guarantee that it will come crashing down if you don't get the support that YOU need.1
Categories
- All Categories
- 1.4M Health, Wellness and Goals
- 393.4K Introduce Yourself
- 43.8K Getting Started
- 260.2K Health and Weight Loss
- 175.9K Food and Nutrition
- 47.4K Recipes
- 232.5K Fitness and Exercise
- 426 Sleep, Mindfulness and Overall Wellness
- 6.5K Goal: Maintaining Weight
- 8.5K Goal: Gaining Weight and Body Building
- 153K Motivation and Support
- 8K Challenges
- 1.3K Debate Club
- 96.3K Chit-Chat
- 2.5K Fun and Games
- 3.7K MyFitnessPal Information
- 24 News and Announcements
- 1.1K Feature Suggestions and Ideas
- 2.6K MyFitnessPal Tech Support Questions