I'm going through the biggest life changing event ever and my weight loss has stopped
kmwestmo
Posts: 12 Member
Long story short I am getting a divorce from my husband of 16 years. I am living with a friend for the time being. I went vegetarian the day I moved out because I had wanted to for a long time but didn't know how to help my husband meet his nutritional requirements without meat. The first 10 days I was here at my friend's I lost 10 lbs. Now, since January 31st, I've only lost 1 lb. I am eating nothing but healthful, whole foods including a 90% plant based diet. I drink 1 cup of milk per day and use ghee sparingly. I've been digesting pretty well after I started actually eating again. I was eating very little when this first came to be. I am exercising more than I have in many years. I'm taking the right herbal supplements. I am getting less sleep than I would like but do not feel tired once I get going for the day. I feel like perhaps my body is in survival/fight or flight mode and is holding onto my fat stores to keep me alive. How do I convince it that I am ok and get back to losing the weight and detoxifying my body?
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Replies
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I notice you talk a lot about *what* you're eating, but not how much. Are you eating to hit a specific calorie goal?
My experience is that stress can, in the short term, temporarily interfere with weight loss. But if you are in a calorie deficit, things will pick up.
If you open your diary, we may be able to give you some more specific help.
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It's been one week since January 31st. 1 pound loss per week is great! When you first adjust your diet, you can always expect to see a big loss for the first few weeks. It's wonderful inspiration to see those big numbers, but weight loss will slow to a more regular level after that initial drop.
You're not in "survival mode", that's not really a thing. If you're serious about losing 1-2 pounds per week, make sure you're weighing/measuring your food accurately, and logging EVERYTHING. Don't overlook things like beverages, oils, dressings, seasoning, etc.
Getting healthier and losing weight is about dedication and consistency. Progress, not perfection. It's about calories out vs. calories in.
Take advantage of all MFP has to offer, and keep up the good work. It sounds like you have a great start here, best of luck to you with your journey. Hopefully your life changes will be for the best in the long run, and you take good things into your future.7 -
None of the things you mentioned cause weight loss. Weight loss happens when you eat fewer calories than you burn. A good way to ensure you’re in a calorie deficit is to weigh and log your food.
There is no such thing as “detoxifying.” Unless you have a diagnosed medical concern related to your excretory system, your body gets rid of toxins on its own and nothing marketed as a “detox” is relevant to that process.10 -
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It's been 1 week...?1
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I've been counting calories and losing tons of weight since last September. I will open my diary for pointers from you all. I am always at a calorie deficit. I weigh and log everything. Please see my logs and let me know what you think.2
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I've been counting calories and losing tons of weight since last September. I will open my diary for pointers from you all. I am always at a calorie deficit. I weigh and log everything. Please see my logs and let me know what you think.
There's an awful lot of cup measurements for the claim of weighing everything.
How to you know that you had exactly 0.17 cups of dried mango? How full do you pack that 1 cup of rice (with flaxseed and other stuff in it)? How heavy is that small banana?6 -
You say you weigh everything, but your logging doesn't look like it. One small banana, 6 inches, for example.
But I really think your problem is a lack of patience and thinking that you are going to lose weight at a structured pace. Try reading this article.
http://physiqonomics.com/the-weird-and-highly-annoying-world-of-scale-weight-and-fluctuations/5 -
I don't understand what the problem is. You lost 1 lb in the last week. How much were you expecting to lose? Weight loss isn't linear, some weeks you lose more, some less, some weeks you'll even gain weight.
That 10 lbs was a blip, probably involved water weight, digestion changes, stuff like that. Unless you are well over 200 lbs, 1 lb per week is probably what you should be aiming for.5 -
I've been counting calories and losing tons of weight since last September. I will open my diary for pointers from you all. I am always at a calorie deficit. I weigh and log everything. Please see my logs and let me know what you think.
what stress and grief can do to us is immeasurable. sorry for your troubles. things will swing back to normal eventually and you will find yourself smooth sailing again - promise4 -
Good article, Thanks! The reason there are some "guestimates" in the diary is because I didn't think that foods with such a small amount of calorie differences would make that big of a difference considering how much of a deficit I am living in most of the time. I am haven't been perfect, especially around last year's holidays, but I stuck with it and kept going. I will, however, start to actually weight my small bananas, etc. and see what the actual difference turns out to be. Maybe I need to be stricter, I really just wanted a general estimate of what I am consuming so as not to get obsessive and overly involved with counting calories. I can take things too far and that could lead to defeat if I run out of energy worrying about 30 calories or something like that. This is evident in my upset about only losing 1 lb last week.
I didn't mention that I have psoriatic arthritis and take stelara and 5 mg of prednisone per day. Psoriatic arthritis manifests as severe inflammation in the joints and can affect the liver and other organs. I've had VERY high liver enzymes for years but they have dropped to around 200% above normal as opposed to 400% or more. I literally cannot take any nsaids and can treat myself to two tylenol twice a week if needed. I rarely do though. I've been on the prednisone since last april. I also spent a year going to a pain clinic for regular steroid epidurals in lumbar and cervical as well and individual joint and trigger point injections and occipital blockers. I was getting the max possible because I was in so much pain. It was three years after my diagnosis that I finally got any improvement and I had my last trip to the pain clinic in December so I am cutting way back on the steroids overall. I will have to taper down the prednisone very slowly after having been on them so long.
I also have type 2 diabetes taking 1000mg per day metformin. I have hypothyroidism taking synthroid 50mcg/day. Lipitor 40mg/day for cholesterol/triglycerides.Taking lisinopril for high blood pressure. The good thing is that my blood sugar, blood pressure and TSH have been great lately and I see my doctor tomorrow for bloodwork and I am hoping to be able to reduce some of my meds.
One last thing, I take psychotropics for bipolar but have been since I was 13 and don't think that is affecting me negatively.2 -
Check out this thread, reference weighing your food. It's eye-opening.
http://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/discussion/10634517/you-dont-use-a-food-scale/p1
If you're worried about getting obsessive, then maybe weigh everything for a couple weeks until you get better at telling what 150 grams of banana looks like (or whatever food).4 -
Just a word of concern and caution. I'm going to guess you are unusually stressed and emotional right now. Don't let yourself get to the point where you are focusing all of that emotion on your weight loss. It's a really easy mistake to make - let me focus all this "stuff" on something I can control! But it can easily degrade your relationship with food, and your health.
So much of the detail you're giving us isn't DIRECTLY affecting your weight loss. But I'm sure it's affecting your stress hormones, your energy, your will power and patience. Calories are directly affecting your weight loss. Aim for a comfortable, reasonable rate of loss, eat in whatever way makes you personally feel healthy and cared for, and make sure you are taking good care of yourself emotionally and psychologically as you go through this big change. Best of luck :drinker:13 -
Thanks for all the feedback everyone. I appreciate the honesty, especially now.5
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Increased cortisol can increase appetite. When you combine the stress of a divorce, not eating enough, and less sleep it CAN in some people increase appetite. For some decrease. There are studies that show a CORRELATION between people who sleep less and weight gain. They do burn more calories, but they tend to eat more.3
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After thinking about all your comments, I realize me ego took a real hit. I thought I was doing everything right and to the best of my ability because I had been seeing good results since I began this new lifestyle. Ego bruising can hurt but it helps me to see reality for what it really is. You guys gave me exactly what I need right when I need it. An attitude adjustment and a bit of humbling. Thank you!13
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I'm so sorry you are going through a rough time.
Along with all the excellent advice above, you really should consider upping your calorie goal from 1000 to at least 1200. If you are accurately recording your intake, 1000 calories a day is just not enough. You should be eating at at least 1200 plus a portion of your exercise calories.0 -
I think losing the 10 lbs in 10 days messed up your expectations, but that's common when starting out and is largely water weight. One lb per week is great, and depending on how heavy you are may well be the max you should be aiming for (if you have more to lose 2 lbs/week is okay, but you won't lose that every week). Also, often a slow down after a first very fast loss is a regain of some water weight after the first week but also more actual fat loss.
I agree with what everyone else has said about how the logging works and having a minimum of 1200 + some exercise calories -- it will actually likely be similar to what you are eating now if the logging is improved. However, if you think it will stress you out I think you should consider holding off at this time and just seeing what happens with the new way of eating and exercise.2 -
I originally start out at the 1200 calorie mark and that was difficult to adhere to, I was still hungry a lot. Then I eliminated caffeine and that actually helped with the hunger. Over time I became afraid of the calories and started to cut back hoping to encourage more progress. I watched a lot of documentaries on fasting, nutrition, exercise, mindfulness, philosophy, biology, physics and more. I work from home so I have a LOT of time on my hands. I took the things that seemed to be common among all the perspectives and held on to those that I felt apply to me and are things I can control. I am not claiming to be an expert on anything, just that I seek knowledge in order to replace bad thinking patterns and behaviors. I admit now that I might have overwhelmed myself with an influx of information and am confused as to what is actually right. You all seem to have had success in your own ways and also share common but sometimes different ideas about the health quest we are undertaking. Still confused, I ask you all, how do I know the right path for me as a unique individual? How do I measure "progress" in a healthy way?2
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The advice you're getting will help you out. Read the stickie posts that have the best information (voted best by MFP members). This is a learning process. We all learned and have made mistakes. Just keep going and you'll be fine. Best of luck.0
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Just wanted to make a quick comment on reducing your meds... When I did my weight went up temporarily. If that happens give it a couple of weeks and it will come right back off. Just be aware that it can happen and you didn't do anything wrong.0
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snowflake954 wrote: »The advice you're getting will help you out. Read the stickie posts that have the best information (voted best by MFP members). This is a learning process. We all learned and have made mistakes. Just keep going and you'll be fine. Best of luck.
Exactly this.
What I would do, if you feel like this is a good time to focus on weight management and want to try logging, is to put your stats in MFP and a goal of 1 lb a week, and then eat the calories suggested. Log based on weighing if you can without that messing with your head. Set some positive and process goals that will prevent you from going overboard and focusing only on cutting calories low -- maybe set some goals for foods you want to make sure you include in your diet.
Think of it as a learning experience, and each day or week look back and think about things that seemed harder or easier and adjust. You will quickly find out what things seem to work for you and which ones do not.
Realize that your weight will fluctuate some, so don't get too bothered by a week that's not as successful as another.
Don't be hard on yourself, and don't think you have to do everything perfectly or every little thing that people suggest for it to work -- there are so many different diets out there that people claim are the right one, and really for most of us what's healthiest is eating in a way that works for us, getting to a healthy weight, and getting in the exercise or activity possible, and trying to reduce stress. The rest of it may or may not work for you (I think going vegetarian if that's what you ethically feel is right is a wonderful choice), and you can find that out through trial and error.1 -
Thanks for the heads up. I'll relax a little on my need to see fast results. I have really been focusing on the court date and seeing me soon-to-be ex-husband for the first time since January. I want him to see that I can and will return to health despite his cruelty toward me these past few years.2
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are you stressed? stress plays a huge role in affecting weight loss2
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I am under the maximum amount of stress that I can bear. I am doing a lot of meditation, relaxing and exercising as much as I can to reduce stress. After all the comments, I'm going to loosen up a little and try to let my efforts unfold as they are meant to, naturally. Oh yea, and I'll start to weigh everything rather than measuring and guestimating. I'll put in more effort but reduce the pressure on my body to "perform" in the way I think it should.4
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theupliftedlife wrote: »are you stressed? stress plays a huge role in affecting weight loss
OP is losing weight, at a normal rate....5 -
Still confused, I ask you all, how do I know the right path for me as a unique individual? How do I measure "progress" in a healthy way?
This was my progress when I started:
Plugged my stats into MFP, got a number of 2070cal/day to lose 1lb/week. Was more or less at that number once I got a food scale and learned to track properly (that was eye-opening, I was still over-eating). Regularly lost approx. 4-5lbs a month as expected. Roughly four months after tracking and being consistent I dropped a pant size, then started dropping a shirt size. Eventually dropped another pant size. Fell off the wagon a few times but back on it, lost another 5lb last month and down a total of 36lbs lost so far. Slooowly eeking my way into size 14 pants which I haven't been at in years. Still eating the stuff I like, some things a little differently than others, no hunger when I'm doing everything right. It's not just about the scale. Nothing's more fun than 'shopping' in your own closet and wearing stuff you haven't been able to fit into in years2 -
Just a quick note because I don't know if anybody else has mentioned it.
but some meds including prednisone definitely mess around with water retention and the associated weight.
That bloat will go away after you're off the medication for a while.
Also don't let a-typical initial results mess with your head. And don't aim for unrealisticly high deficits.
You can get obsessive about measuring what you eat in order to punish yourself and minimize what you're eating and go into convulsions when your over the top efforts appear not to work; or you can measure as accurately as you can so that you can maximize what you can have and enjoy while meeting your goals.
The calorie counting mechanism for both the productive and the counterproductive behavior is the same.
You might also benefit from using a weight trend app.
Take care. be patient. things will get better!4
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