Side by side photos hurt your fat friends?
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seltzermint555 wrote: »Interesting. I have lost (and maintained) a major loss (over 130 lb) and have only shared side by side on social media one time. I took it down after only one day because several people were messaging me things like workout tips and it deeply hurt my feelings. I wasn't asking for their critical feedback, I was celebrating my progress. I chalked that up to me being overly sensitive and didn't do that again.
When I was at my heaviest though (over 300 lb), others' side by side photos were interesting and inspiring to me, not offensive.
However, I did have VERY strong feelings about workplace contests regarding weight loss (the "Biggest Loser" type). I think they are extremely inappropriate and invade employees' privacy. I also think even for those who opt out and do not participate, it creates a terrible atmosphere for anyone who is even slightly overweight and/or uncomfortable with their body for any reason. I really think it's a poor choice for almost any employer to do such a thing. I still feel the same way now as a person who has successfully lost a lot. It's just not appropriate for the workplace!
That's kind of what I'm personally afraid of, and why I refuse to tell anyone on social media that I am losing weight. I will also never post a progress picture (on social media). I will post selfies and if people notice, ok cool, but not making it a thing. I don't need people's constant comments and suggestions.
But to the OP, I have never been offended by someone else's progress or success. I also haven't seen it personally from any of my friends who post that sort of thing. The ONLY thing even remotely close I have personally seen is one person who is very anti-diet who will unfollow/unfriend anyone that talks about their diet/weight loss openly.3 -
I am so grateful that I am of an age where it is acceptable not to have a social media account of any kind and therefore not be open to the toxic effects of same.6
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I started sharing my pictures after about a year of starting MFP seriously, not all of my progress pictures show improvement, in fact, some of them show times when my weight has gone up or my composition has changed for the worse, particularly after taking a break from training for rowing events, when I have been less active with strength training.
It was quite liberating to post them online, it is on a separate IG account than my regular one, so if people are looking at it, it's because they have chosen to follow my weight loss focused account and I have had some lovely messages from my friends on MFP/Instagram followers, including one or two who have been inspired to keep at their food logging when the scale doesn't meet their expectations.
To think that someone could twist people's pride in their hard work and effort towards seeking a healthier lifestyle is pretty sad. I wonder if they would consider it equally offensive to post pictures at the top of a mountain trail, would that not in their way of thinking upset people who aren't yet fit enough to make it that far?
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this tip toeing around people is really chipping away at some of our civil liberties and freedom laws. especially those that are designed to offer freedoms to women that historically we had to fight for. its insanity.2
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I loved the last line - "You have the right to be who you are, in the body you have right now, free from shame." However, shaming someone for posting a side by side weight loss photo isn't exactly walking the walk. I do understand that fat people endure hurtful comments on a daily basis and that this is unacceptable, but being accepted doesn't mean restricting everyone else from expressing themselves. I wish I was blessed with a beautiful singing voice and children but when friends post baby pictures or clips of them singing karaoke like a boss, I sometimes feel a tad jealous but I am also happy that they are living their best lives, as I am in my own way.9
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I didn't get very far into the article because it was one of the dumbest things I have ever read. It's just insane to me. There are a variety of reasons as to why being overweight or obese is damaging to your health. If someone is fat and wants to remain fat, then by all means, that is their decision and I have no issues with that. It's not much different than someone smoking cigarettes and not wanting to quit. Has no affect on my life whatsoever. But the rest of us are not going to hide our accomplishments to protect their feelings. The author of this article needs to grow up.5
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In all honesty, I didn't read the article.
Can't post weight loss success because it might offend overweight people.
Can't post pictures of pregnancy and children because it might offend infertile people.
Can't post pictures of your success (house, car, vacation, etc) because it might offend people who aren't as well off.
It isn't my job to protect the feelings of others. I will not intentionally hurt other people. I would never call someone fat or insult their appearance. I'd never taunt someone for their body. But my success is not an insult to someone else. My hard work is not there to hurt others, it is something I have done on my own.12 -
Have we seriously become that weak as people ?? Sad.. just sad.5
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This article angered me (as someone who works really hard to stay fit) and, like tinak33, I did not finish.
I know several people now who are very overweight - and they have gotten jobs they should not have. They are too fat/out of shape to fulfill the job requirements. All of them have gotten injured on the job, and one has refused to do certain parts of their job because they can’t. It bugs me. One is a co-worker (who I personally like) and her coworkers (including me) pick up the slack. So, when the article writer says that overweight people don’t get jobs because of their weight? I don’t feel bad about that. If a person’s fat gets in the way of fulfilling job duties - they shouldn’t get to have that job.
I think the culture of supersizing fast food orders is the problem, because now a lot of people think that’s what the norm should be.
OP asked for our thoughts; I’ve tried to do that respectfully while explaining my reaction.
No, I didn’t finish the article. I’ve done a few side-by-side progress photos, but they are for myself. I posted one on IG a few years ago but took it down, because I’m a pretty private person. The photo got more attention than I wanted. ☺️
I followed a TED Talk where a guy in the military was talking about how people getting fat is a national security issue. There will be a point when the country can't get enough fit people to keep it secure.
I think you are even nice to call your co-worker "overweight" when they are more than likely obese or maybe even morbidly obese. We are always tip-toeing around the issue so that other people don't get offended. (and I say that as an obese person)3 -
Thats right "everyone" gets a sticker or trophy...just for showing up.......
Sheesh!
The reality of life is there are winners and losers. What have we done as a society!??1 -
whatalazyidiot wrote: »seltzermint555 wrote: »Interesting. I have lost (and maintained) a major loss (over 130 lb) and have only shared side by side on social media one time. I took it down after only one day because several people were messaging me things like workout tips and it deeply hurt my feelings. I wasn't asking for their critical feedback, I was celebrating my progress. I chalked that up to me being overly sensitive and didn't do that again.
When I was at my heaviest though (over 300 lb), others' side by side photos were interesting and inspiring to me, not offensive.
However, I did have VERY strong feelings about workplace contests regarding weight loss (the "Biggest Loser" type). I think they are extremely inappropriate and invade employees' privacy. I also think even for those who opt out and do not participate, it creates a terrible atmosphere for anyone who is even slightly overweight and/or uncomfortable with their body for any reason. I really think it's a poor choice for almost any employer to do such a thing. I still feel the same way now as a person who has successfully lost a lot. It's just not appropriate for the workplace!
That's kind of what I'm personally afraid of, and why I refuse to tell anyone on social media that I am losing weight. I will also never post a progress picture (on social media). I will post selfies and if people notice, ok cool, but not making it a thing. I don't need people's constant comments and suggestions.
But to the OP, I have never been offended by someone else's progress or success. I also haven't seen it personally from any of my friends who post that sort of thing. The ONLY thing even remotely close I have personally seen is one person who is very anti-diet who will unfollow/unfriend anyone that talks about their diet/weight loss openly.
I'll definitely admit (long ago and even recently) to unfollowing anyone who posts frequently on sites other than MFP about their diet/weight loss. Especially if it's a person who posts photos of everything they eat and near-daily updates about their weight or exercise. I wouldn't unfriend for that reason alone, but I will unfollow.
The italicized is exactly how I've handled my loss and maintenance, aside from that one time side-by-side post. I figure if someone notices, great, but I am not going to point it out. One thing that I find kind of funny is how often I am out with friends and we'll run into someone that we haven't seen in a few years and they comment on my weight loss with shock. Meanwhile a lot of other people like to keep their entire social network updated on their exact pounds & inches lost so there are not a lot of surprises, I guess!1 -
From the article:
For the record, I don’t personally want to lose weight and I don’t care if you do.
Hmm I think the tone of this article disputes that. If you were truly happy with your size why would seeing other people's weight loss matter to you?4 -
I didn't get very far into the article because it was one of the dumbest things I have ever read. It's just insane to me. There are a variety of reasons as to why being overweight or obese is damaging to your health. If someone is fat and wants to remain fat, then by all means, that is their decision and I have no issues with that. It's not much different than someone smoking cigarettes and not wanting to quit. Has no affect on my life whatsoever. But the rest of us are not going to hide our accomplishments to protect their feelings. The author of this article needs to grow up.
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