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Motivation - where can I find it?

Fayve
Posts: 406 Member
I've had this thought on my mind for a while now, and I think I can finally put some word to it for discussion. Maybe.
I'm about 135 pounds, 5"1'. I don't think I'm fat, and I don't think I'm thin. I think I'm a healthy weight, even if BMI still calls me obese (if only a little), but I think I'm still very mushy in some spots. At my height, every lb shows, as I know many can relate. At my highest weight, I was probably 155, but I was somewhere between 14 and 16 at the time (I never knew for sure. My family feels it obsessive to have a scale in the house, so I used to sneak onto the scale when I worked at a pharmacy).
So here's my problem. This is sort of how my self-motivation goes:
1. I'm feeling good about myself, comfortable at my weight, eating healthy food no matter what.
2. I watch TV or read a magazine, and see a woman who I consider to be beautiful and skinny, regardless of whether the image is photoshopped or realistic for my height and build.
3. I feel disgusted with myself, and decide it's time to make a change, and lose some weight.
4. Realize that this kind of motivation is unhealthy, and self-hatred will never make me happy, no matter what I weigh.
5. Reset to first stage, and repeat.
--
I can clearly see that the solution would be for me to approach any self-improvement from a place of love for myself; a desire to improve how I feel, my energy, my mood. Yet this never seems to motivate me AT ALL, and the first option always lights a fire under me much quicker (but only for a little while).
It makes me think about a few things. Is 135 a happy weight for me? Am I in the wrong mindset completely?
Another issue on the side is that I have been dealing with a lot of health issues lately that have settled down finally. When I asked my doctor about weight loss, he thinks it should be the last thing on my mind. My boyfriend says that I look amazing, and he would love me no matter what I weighed. My family is supportive, but doesn't understand my desire to lose any weight.
I think that if I want to lose weight, it shouldn't matter what a family member or friend says. I feel I should mention that I have never, and will never attempt any crash diets. I'm a food lover, and I know that harming my body in that way is the last thing I want to do.
I'm rambling quite a bit, but I guess where I'm coming from is that, I don't know where to get the right kind of motivation from that works for me, without making me feel awful about myself. I keep gaining and losing the same 3 or 4 pounds, and that's doing very little for my self-esteem. I'm not asking for people to look through my food journal and tell me how to fix it (I know I need to really shape up, and being on vacation for the last 3 weeks hasn't helped much, but it's also given me time to think). If I can find the right kind of motivation, I have no doubt that I have all the tools I need to be successful.
If you took the time to read all of this, THANK YOU. I would love to hear any feedback or opinions, supportive or tough-love. Or if anyone is having a similar problems, I'd like to hear about that too. Always looking for more friends and support along this long and winding road.
I'm about 135 pounds, 5"1'. I don't think I'm fat, and I don't think I'm thin. I think I'm a healthy weight, even if BMI still calls me obese (if only a little), but I think I'm still very mushy in some spots. At my height, every lb shows, as I know many can relate. At my highest weight, I was probably 155, but I was somewhere between 14 and 16 at the time (I never knew for sure. My family feels it obsessive to have a scale in the house, so I used to sneak onto the scale when I worked at a pharmacy).
So here's my problem. This is sort of how my self-motivation goes:
1. I'm feeling good about myself, comfortable at my weight, eating healthy food no matter what.
2. I watch TV or read a magazine, and see a woman who I consider to be beautiful and skinny, regardless of whether the image is photoshopped or realistic for my height and build.
3. I feel disgusted with myself, and decide it's time to make a change, and lose some weight.
4. Realize that this kind of motivation is unhealthy, and self-hatred will never make me happy, no matter what I weigh.
5. Reset to first stage, and repeat.
--
I can clearly see that the solution would be for me to approach any self-improvement from a place of love for myself; a desire to improve how I feel, my energy, my mood. Yet this never seems to motivate me AT ALL, and the first option always lights a fire under me much quicker (but only for a little while).
It makes me think about a few things. Is 135 a happy weight for me? Am I in the wrong mindset completely?
Another issue on the side is that I have been dealing with a lot of health issues lately that have settled down finally. When I asked my doctor about weight loss, he thinks it should be the last thing on my mind. My boyfriend says that I look amazing, and he would love me no matter what I weighed. My family is supportive, but doesn't understand my desire to lose any weight.
I think that if I want to lose weight, it shouldn't matter what a family member or friend says. I feel I should mention that I have never, and will never attempt any crash diets. I'm a food lover, and I know that harming my body in that way is the last thing I want to do.
I'm rambling quite a bit, but I guess where I'm coming from is that, I don't know where to get the right kind of motivation from that works for me, without making me feel awful about myself. I keep gaining and losing the same 3 or 4 pounds, and that's doing very little for my self-esteem. I'm not asking for people to look through my food journal and tell me how to fix it (I know I need to really shape up, and being on vacation for the last 3 weeks hasn't helped much, but it's also given me time to think). If I can find the right kind of motivation, I have no doubt that I have all the tools I need to be successful.
If you took the time to read all of this, THANK YOU. I would love to hear any feedback or opinions, supportive or tough-love. Or if anyone is having a similar problems, I'd like to hear about that too. Always looking for more friends and support along this long and winding road.
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Replies
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Motivation is different for every person, and can be as unique. You'll find yours.
If you want to borrow mine for a bit... Zombies and/or What Would Jason Statham Do? always work for me. :drinker:
edit to add: Perhaps thinking of it as Fitness not "weight loss" would help. Work on body composition and the weight no longer matters.0 -
bump0
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Well for your motivation the first thing you need to decide is what do you want. I want to shed all of my post-marriage weight gain, and then tone up to a slim-medium definition build.
Personally I agree that you look fantastic. The more I work on getting fit the more I find those silly photoshopped models unattractive. Do you want to tone up? Are you just looking for a flat stomach? Want to get to 10% bodyfat? Once you've got a clearly defined goal I think the motivation will become a lot easier to find.0 -
Fayve, like a previous poster said, motivation can come from various sources. The main question ask yourself is what do you want out of becoming fitter? Is it to be able to wear a certain outfit? To be able to ride a bike x distance or maybe run a race? What is it that you find your current shape/health is keeping you from having/doing? For me it was/is the deep desire to be more active with my family. I was tired of watching my family have fun as I stood by. So one of my reasons for losing weight was to be able to ride a roller coaster with my son-- which I was finally able to do this summer! So think about it in those terms and see if that helps you.0
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Brutal honesty with self is where I find it. I go through some of this too... I have to realize that it's not just a choice between looking like a stick thin model and looking like my current self. What I want is me as I was 10 pounds ago! Also I have to see the reality of my current food choices... I can say I eat healthy because I believe in eating healthy, but if I evaluate each bite of what I'm eating, I see that it's not as healthy as I can fool myself into thinking.0
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