Eating disorder am I setting myself up to fail?

meeper123
meeper123 Posts: 3,347 Member
in Health and Weight Loss
I have been fighting lately some of the urges I use to have when I was purging. I dont get why I have not been eating anything that is unhealthy or really even over 2000 calories but the urge was strong yesterday. I fought it off but why is this suddenly haunting me

Replies

  • Maxxitt
    Maxxitt Posts: 1,281 Member
    Purge triggers are emotional/psychological in origin. If you are feeling them now, I would look to stress/anniversary dates in your life that is activating the old coping.
  • Fflpnari
    Fflpnari Posts: 975 Member
    Definitely agree with talk to a therapist. I think for most people triggers are often not related to food.

    I suffered from BED/purging. I found my triggers are stress and weighing. When I restarted trying to lose weight I set up my calories to lose 1lb a week so I could actually eat 2400 calories a day, and quit weighing for a while. I made it 6 weeks without weighing, it gave me time to get in the groove of staying within calories. When I have a big event that I stressing for I overeat like crazy a couple of days before. Its not like my past, but it feels similar. Now I just have more control and am aware.
  • meeper123
    meeper123 Posts: 3,347 Member
    That's a good idea I think maybe I should increase my calories as well
  • meeper123
    meeper123 Posts: 3,347 Member
    I am pretty content at 1600 to 1800 it seems to leave me with a good variety of healthy foods without putting to many restrictions on what I can and can't have. I seem to binge most when I say something is off limits then have it
  • ehobbs1970
    ehobbs1970 Posts: 6 Member
    Ok I have struggled like you for over 25 years but have had a relative handle on it for the past 9 - i went to treatment but the main thing that taught me was consistency of a meal plan from a dietician to get me in a range that is healthy for my body type - maybe not my numbers. that being said nothing is off limits its all just based around the meal plan. that seems to help my bulimic head. in past this is where my diet/re stricter head would go. restrict months - then eat something off plan once , twice more then start purging again and then my purging couldnt keep up with my eating so went back to the restricting. this is just a major simplification of my behaviors but the main thing that helped was the long term consistency of food stability. i eat 3 meals and 3 snacks a day and actually feel very satisfied. i have the tendency at times to want to restrict but remember that can set me up for a mini binge later in the day. today restricting even can look like having an apple until noon and eating the rest of my meal plan during the rest of the day. as well as the normal type of restricting. so right now its balance. meal plan - normal exercise. using the tools in this application in a healthy manner and not making up my own meal plan - that is what got me where i am at in the first place. my plan has me eating carbs but more of the brown ones and in moderation thru out the day for energy. my plan is rich in protein. i am learning what proteins sustain my body longer (chicken, meats, turkey, egg) and which ones just pass thru me quickly (yogurt, protein shakes, cottage cheese). whenever i get off track i go back to the meal plan. its my map. i also try try try not to weigh myself daily and now even weekly - god willing i am going to do monthly. i dont know if this helps but would love to be buddies and talk more on this if needed. i have been thru the full spectrum of ed. big hug to you - you can do this and you have support of others. also one thing i do is i share my foods diary with complete honesty with someone else that gets it and has some time under their belt bc they can spot all our tricks and patterns. it helps me see where i have set myself up. not sure if this helps but it helps me to reach out to you thank you
  • amy19355
    amy19355 Posts: 805 Member
    edited February 2019
    meeper123 wrote: »
    I am pretty content at 1600 to 1800 it seems to leave me with a good variety of healthy foods without putting to many restrictions on what I can and can't have. I seem to binge most when I say something is off limits then have it

    i found that different calculators give different calorie results for my age, height and target weight. so i do a couple different ones and take the average.

    the other useful thing is that approx 20# of weight change can alter the number of calories needed, so, it is recommended to recheck periodically to be sure things line up realistically.

    the other thing that works for me is to not deny myself any kind of food, but only to limit the amount of it i eat. this is easier for me to keep portion control, it is harder for me to deny myself certain foods.

    good luck to you
  • 150poundsofme
    150poundsofme Posts: 523 Member
    I have and always had a huge problem with the scale. So right now I am weighing every two weeks and having hubby hide it in between, can't be trusted. I have been having a bunch of mini binges lately. If it's given to me or right in front of me, I can't help but think that I need to eat it. Hugs to us all struggling.
  • kerajoseph711
    kerajoseph711 Posts: 3 Member
    Fflpnari wrote: »
    Definitely agree with talk to a therapist. I think for most people triggers are often not related to food.

    I suffered from BED/purging. I found my triggers are stress and weighing. When I restarted trying to lose weight I set up my calories to lose 1lb a week so I could actually eat 2400 calories a day, and quit weighing for a while. I made it 6 weeks without weighing, it gave me time to get in the groove of staying within calories. When I have a big event that I stressing for I overeat like crazy a couple of days before. Its not like my past, but it feels similar. Now I just have more control and am aware.

  • rickiimarieee
    rickiimarieee Posts: 2,212 Member
    Don’t limit yourself from certain foods. When you cut out junk food and stuff you enjoy, you’re gonna more than likely binge and end up in the same position you’re in now. That’s why fad diets don’t work (along with many other reasons too). I do suggest seeking a therapist and talking about some triggers for you because it could be emotional/stress brought on, etc.
  • rickiimarieee
    rickiimarieee Posts: 2,212 Member
    Enjoy your favorite foods but within reason. If it’s cookies, have a serving. Have a serving every night if you want, just stay within calorie budget. The more you limit yourself, the more likely you’ll binge.
  • SCoil123
    SCoil123 Posts: 2,110 Member
    Denny7931 wrote: »
    ehobbs1970 wrote: »
    Ok I have struggled like you for over 25 years but have had a relative handle on it for the past 9 - i went to treatment but the main thing that taught me was consistency of a meal plan from a dietician to get me in a range that is healthy for my body type - maybe not my numbers. that being said nothing is off limits its all just based around the meal plan. that seems to help my bulimic head. in past this is where my diet/re stricter head would go. restrict months - then eat something off plan once , twice more then start purging again and then my purging couldnt keep up with my eating so went back to the restricting. this is just a major simplification of my behaviors but the main thing that helped was the long term consistency of food stability. i eat 3 meals and 3 snacks a day and actually feel very satisfied. i have the tendency at times to want to restrict but remember that can set me up for a mini binge later in the day. today restricting even can look like having an apple until noon and eating the rest of my meal plan during the rest of the day. as well as the normal type of restricting. so right now its balance. meal plan - normal exercise. using the tools in this application in a healthy manner and not making up my own meal plan - that is what got me where i am at in the first place. my plan has me eating carbs but more of the brown ones and in moderation thru out the day for energy. my plan is rich in protein. i am learning what proteins sustain my body longer (chicken, meats, turkey, egg) and which ones just pass thru me quickly (yogurt, protein shakes, cottage cheese). whenever i get off track i go back to the meal plan. its my map. i also try try try not to weigh myself daily and now even weekly - god willing i am going to do monthly. i dont know if this helps but would love to be buddies and talk more on this if needed. i have been thru the full spectrum of ed. big hug to you - you can do this and you have support of others. also one thing i do is i share my foods diary with complete honesty with someone else that gets it and has some time under their belt bc they can spot all our tricks and patterns. it helps me see where i have set myself up. not sure if this helps but it helps me to reach out to you thank you

    Hi I don't mean to just jump in but I am just starting on this road and many times I feel it is impossible. I thought I could come on her and talk about it for support since none can see me.I have been bulimic for 10 yrs now and feel I have no handle. I used to after every meal .I have come along way but this is the longest since I was preg that I haven't purged. And I just really wanna keep the momentum. I want to feel like I am really living...

    Eating Disorders Anonymous also has free online support group meetings based on 12 step recovery for those of us who struggle with eating disorders. Finding support and safe places to share is crucial for recovery in my experience.

    Congratulations on making it this far ❤️
  • kshama2001
    kshama2001 Posts: 28,052 Member
    rickiimarieee wrote: »
    Enjoy your favorite foods but within reason. If it’s cookies, have a serving. Have a serving every night if you want, just stay within calorie budget. The more you limit yourself, the more likely you’ll binge.

    This is certainly true for moderators. However, abstainers are better off just not starting.

    Many of us can moderate some foods but other foods are trigger foods we are better off just not being around.

    https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/blog/the-happiness-project/201210/are-you-abstainer-or-moderator

    ...When dealing with temptation, I often see the advice, “Be moderate. Don’t have ice cream every night, but if you try to deny yourself altogether, you’ll fall off the wagon. Allow yourself to have the occasional treat, it will help you stick to your plan.”

    I’ve come to believe that this is good advice for some people: the “moderators.” They do better when they avoid absolutes and strict rules.

    For a long time, I kept trying this strategy of moderation–and failing. Then I read a line from Samuel Johnson, who said, when someone offered him wine: “Abstinence is as easy to me as temperance would be difficult.”

    Ah ha! Like Dr. Johnson, I’m an “abstainer.”

    I find it far easier to give something up altogether than to indulge moderately.
  • staticsplit
    staticsplit Posts: 538 Member
    I found once I consistently fed myself at maintenance for awhile, my urges to binge/purge largely went away. Not entirely, and my recovery is still relatively new and I'm getting weekly therapy for it, mostly looking at my root need to control things like my food as soon as my life gets stressful. But as soon as I stopped letting myself get so so hungry, the ravenous hunger and frantic binging lessened. I do think it's a survival mechanism. The body does not want to starve. It'll find ways to get you to eat.

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