I’m surrounded by Stepford wives

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Replies

  • Monkeyfreck
    Monkeyfreck Posts: 65 Member
    edited April 2019
    You are making a mistake.
    It is not a zero sum game.

    Because someone else can have something or be a certain way, does not in anyway mean that supply is restricted and you can’t have the same.

    Some of us have advantages in various parts of life. Some of us have to work harder in various parts of life.

  • Monkeyfreck
    Monkeyfreck Posts: 65 Member
    tracieknits wrote: »
    For me, drinking will tank all of my effort in weight loss.

    This!
    Im an expert in this area - I’ve tried to
    fool myself on this every way possible.

  • melaniedscott
    melaniedscott Posts: 1,478 Member
    jebagby2014 wrote: »
    It’s not all in my head, I had a guy tell me he’d be happy to have a physical relationship with me but as far as girlfriend material, I don’t have “the look” he’s going for. Naturally comments like this knock back who I know I am and my confidence to put myself out there.

    That says more about him than you. He is a kittenhole (or maybe a cathole, you pick). I've got a friend who realized a couple years back that he was super shallow when it came to dating. He owned and moved on, which earned some points , but still...some guys are stepford husbands...
  • mstarks01
    mstarks01 Posts: 109 Member
    I can tell you that living a healthy lifestyle became a lot easier for me when I got a job closer to home (work from home ftw)! I know you don't want to move to where your work is, so maybe you can work closer to where you live?
  • akpsavings0607
    akpsavings0607 Posts: 2 Member
    For whatever it's worth, I did not think you sounded disgruntled or bitter, I read sense of humor and honest about what you were feeling.

    Take this with a grain of salt, but I googled fitness competition for women and read some amazing stories about total body transformations. I'm 46 so I looked for older women to read their journey. Now, I've birthed 7 babies and will never be in a bikini, but finding 1500 calorie eating plans, lifting heavy, cardio and tracking macros... there is something that has clicked in me and I'm doing this. This time will be the last time.

    So, happily married to a very supportive man who has loved me at various shapes and sizes, 46, mom of 7 and I homeschool. So not a lot of free time. I force myself to get up and work out early before the kids are up. For me, personally, it is always about my attitude and whether or not I really want it.

    Hope this encourages you somehow.
  • jebagby2014
    jebagby2014 Posts: 18 Member
    It does! Thanks!
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    jebagby2014 wrote: »
    Thanks to those who could see the sarcasm in my post - making jokes is how I deal with things that are hard to say. Today was a big test! My birthday and going out where my friends want to buy me rounds and I was good; I kept counting the calories and when I had my limit I gave away my drinks. I also avoided the pile of fried shrimp drenched in yummy sauce for a mini crab cake which in this area is mostly crab. The restaurant brought me a dessert and I had a spoonful then passed it down for others to try. The bigger test will be this weekend for my actual birthday party. BBQ is on the menu.

    But calories dobt count on your birthday, everyone knows that! :laugh:
  • jebagby2014
    jebagby2014 Posts: 18 Member
    😂 Well boo then! I should have had the shrimp!!!
  • jebagby2014
    jebagby2014 Posts: 18 Member
    I’m feeling better; I just sometimes am hard on myself. We are our worst critics. My birthday was yesterday and I was reminded that I have a whole group of people who love me for me. I’m very lucky to have the friends that I do. I rented an Airbnb for the weekend and plan on having a big party on Saturday. I’m looking forward to it but I also know it’s going to be hard resisting everything bad for me that comes with a party. Is it wise to save up calories for the night and just eat less during the day?
  • Kathryn247
    Kathryn247 Posts: 570 Member
    Happy Birthday! I'd be willing to bet your friends are jealous of you about some things, too. A little mutual idolatry is important in friendships. :)
    I don't usually eat less the morning before an event, it makes me cranky. But it's up to you. Calorie-wise it probably won't make that much of a difference.
  • daneejela
    daneejela Posts: 461 Member
    You sound like someone with whom I would like to be friend with. I like your honesty and sense of humour. I will share less popular viewpoint - whatever motivation you have at the moment, even the"revenge" one, take it and use it..motivation changes and transforms anyway..many people started their journey with some silly motivators and down the road fell in love with the new lifestyle.

    Also, in my opinion, nothing bad with a bit of vanity and working on looking beautiful. We are not angels and we do base our judgements on the outiside appearance too. Just remember that beauty comes in many different shapes and styles. What is unatractive to one person to an other could be adorable.

    P.S. sorry for spelling errors, typing from phone.
  • jdhcm2006
    jdhcm2006 Posts: 2,254 Member
    You're on the right path by meal prepping on the weekends. That will help you fight the temptation of fast food places. Also, like others have said, find an exercise that you love. For me that's pole dance. It's strength training and cardio rolled into one. Plus, the pole community is awesome and full of supportive people. I will always recommend it to people. I know someone mentioned lifting weights and that's another fantastic and fun workout. You don't have to kill yourself on a cardio machine, don't get me wrong I do love the elliptical, but it's not an end all be all. And you don't have to spend hours in the gym, unless you want to. I love being at the pole studio for hours but being in a traditional gym... not so much.

    Find an exercise that even when you don't feel like working out, you still want to workout b/c you love that form of exercise. Even when I stopped watching my calories, I continued with pole dance b/c I love it. It's why I didn't gain all of the weight that I lost back.

    There's nothing wrong with wanting a revenge body. If that is what motivates you to stay in your calorie budget and to exercise then use it. It's not something that I'm interested in b/c how do you get revenge on yourself? Ya know? I gained this weight. No one else did it to me.
  • jebagby2014
    jebagby2014 Posts: 18 Member
    edited April 2019
    Love the pole dancing idea - what an empowering way to stay in shape. And sounds fun!! True enough about not being able to seek revenge on yourself-very insightful. And @daneejela thank you for the kind words!!! I appreciate your perspective.
  • jebagby2014
    jebagby2014 Posts: 18 Member
    Motivation can come from anywhere 😊
  • jdhcm2006
    jdhcm2006 Posts: 2,254 Member
    jebagby2014 wrote: »
    Love the pole dancing idea - what an empowering way to stay in shape. And sounds fun!! True enough about not being able to seek revenge on yourself-very insightful. And @daneejela thank you for the kind words!!! I appreciate your perspective.

    Pole is fantastic. If you can find a studio near work or home, I highly recommend it. Don’t worry about not having enough strength or not being the right size (both are excuses people make to not try it). You’ll gain strength and those poles can hold a lot. I’ve seen 4 people on 1 pole at a time. They each weighed at least 100-130lbs.
  • jebagby2014
    jebagby2014 Posts: 18 Member
    Update! I met a new guy and we’ve gone out on a few dates. He seems great! But I totally blew my calorie goal for dinner because we went out to eat. He suggested apps first then dinner. Anyone have tips on eating out? Also now that the smoke has cleared from my breakup and I’m moving on; my revenge body motivation is slipping. Maybe fashion is my new motivation- for date nights!
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