need some help... or advice...

well, I know this can be hard if you don't have the rest of your family on board. but stay strong and let yourself be an inspiration to them and the rest of your community! just because no one around has a lot to lose right now doesn't mean they never will. we all got here somehow, right? so be the person that in 5 years a neighbor says, "remember when Chantal lost all of that weight, I CAN do this!"

So your family first calls you fat, then gets offended when you turn down their cake? Can you throw it back in their face? "You constantly remind me of my weight, and I'm trying to do something about that - back off." Tap into some anger and do what you have to do to accomplish your goals.

I haven't lost a ton of weight but I'm responding to you anyway because I have been where you are, overwhelmed by the enormity of the challenge in front of me and succumbing to temptation because it seemed like I would never get there, so why bother? I started my journey when I got on my doctor's scale and saw 227 pounds, 2 pounds over the amount whre I often told my husband, "If I ever get there, just shoot me, because clearly I've given up on myself." That week I started exercising on the Wii Fit, and slowly increased my activity to 3-4 days a week, without thinking about diet at all. I mean, yes, I thought about it, and tried to make smarter choices, but I didn't write things down and have a deep awareness of what I was eating.

I lost 20 pounds over the course of a year just from increasing my exercise significantly, moving on from the Wii Fit to regular walking and eventually to running. And then I realized that I was going to have to face food head on if I really wanted to get somewhere. I had a goal of 120 pounds at the time, and thought of needing to drop more than a 100 pounds was overwhelming, but the success I'd had already just with exercise gave me some confidence and I jumped into MFP not certain I could do it, but willing to give it a try.

Here's what I've learned:

Break down your goals into smaller achievements. When I focused on losing just 10 pounds, not 100, the feelings of anxiety lessened quite a bit, and it felt good to make those smaller goals.

Get educated on what consitutes a realistic goal. I don't know where I got the magic number 120 from, but it turns out to be FAR off from what is an appropriate weight goal for me. Even the BMI tables aren't the best guideline because they don't take into account how much lean muscle you have. My new goal is 170 and that is within 30 pounds of where I am now - and I've already had success losing more than that so I know I can do it.

Take it slow and steady. The weight didn't come on quickly - more like over several years - and you have to give it time to come off if you have any hope of keeping it off. Even 2 pounds a week - a safe rate - might be faster than you want to go. Learning a new way of eating is hard, and a drastic change might be too much at the beginning. Start with small changes, even simply just tracking what you're eating for a while to see what your current levels are and then slowly eliminate things that you can easily give up or make slight change to. It's easier to stick with something that doesn't require you to completely change your life overnight, and is less liely to draw the attention of the poisonous people in your life who are both enabling and attacking you at the same time.

Don't be afraid to say "no thank you." Maybe they're thinking the same thing: that you're not going to lose weight, so why not eat the cake anyway. Prove them wrong. When you have become thinner, stronger and healthier, they may realize they were wrong, and come to understand and respect your efforts. Hang in there.

The thing with motivation is that you can't rely on it. You can't count yourself on being motivated every day... I don't feel like going to the gym some days, I don't feel like eating healthy some days. We all have bad days. The key is to rely on dedication, not motivation. Make yourself do it. "Just do it."

And don't undermine your success so far, no matter how tiny it may seem compared to the road ahead of you. A few pounds lost is infinitely better than none (or even a few pounds GAINED). That's what works for me sometimes when I'm having a bad day. I ask myself if I want to go back to where I started... the answer is NO! That gets me off my butt and to the gym.

One last thing, take a break every once in a while. Go over your calories every once in a while (just don't go crazy and eat like 5000 calories), skip your workout and let your body recover once a week...

its not wrong to ask for emotional support from those who love you...they will be thrilled that you asked for their help and support

Unfortunately this isn't always the case. I am blessed with a very supportive, understanding family, but not every family is like that.

The first problem is not having a supportive enviroment to help you achieve your goals. Growing up my mom was obese, ending up having gastric bypass surgery over 20 years ago. There were people in our family that would do the same thing. Constantly make quips or digs whenever she ate anything. All it did was make her want to eat more! Like you said, it reinforces that failure feeling. Have you ever tried to have a serious coversation on how much this hurtful behavior impacts you? It's your time to make the decision for you; if you want to lose the weight and feel healthy. No amount of cajoling is going to work if your not there yet mentally. You have to decide if your ready to commit and stick to it. I wish people that love us would realize how detrimental their words and actions can be but you also have to take back your own power. You have to want it bad enough to be willing to give up (or cut down) on the stuff that you know is working against your goal. You need to tell yourself "SO WHAT!" If they look offended when you decline something. That's THEIR problem, it's not your responsibility to keep them happy. Your issue is getting yourself healthy and feeling in control of what your eating and accomplishing of goals.

You also don't want to feel deprived and if you enjoy bonfires and all that maybe the compromise could be to allow yourself two drinks every other time or something to that effect? Allow yourself the seeds, but in moderation. Check what a serving size is and prepare in snack size baggies. Only allow yourself one of those as oppossed to eating the whole bag. I think the word I am thinking of is balance. Don't try to cut out what you love, you will only want it more. I'd also suggest preplanning for gatherings. If you know healthier foods are going to be limited bring something of your own that you could possibly share. There are tons of modified/slimmed down recipes for favorite foods as well as twists on stuff you may be eating all the time. Who knows, maybe you'll start rubbing off on those around you!

I agree, small changes at a time. They will soon add up and before you know you've made A LOT of changes that are just a way of life for you.
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I get motivation from the Biggest Loser episodes on Hulu. It's 7.99 for a month of premium that lets you watch all the back episodes. I got the Biggest Loser Family Cookbook from ebay for 5.00 and started all our family shopping from recipes from it two weeks ago. I was worried it would cost too much but it was only 50.00 over our usual buget and stretched much farther than I thought becuse I started limiting portions too. The food scale was 15.00 and the bathroom scale was 15.00 at Wallmart. There's a new gym down the street that's only 10 bucks a month. I found 30 Day Shred on Vuse so that cost me nothing. So everything was much cheaper than I thought it would be to get started losing weight.

I watch episodes and in the commercial breaks I stand up and jog/walk in place. I am trying the 30 Day Shred challenge this week on this site and while I have to modify some moves I'm still hoping I make it all 30 days. I walk to the gym and use the weights and cardio equipment there. Most importantly I'm putting every morsel of food in my food diary here on this site. (Probably the hardest thing to do is face what we actually eat.)

I've lost 5 lbs in 2 weeks. I have over 140 to lose still.

My first goal, get under 300. I'm at 302 now. I'll think about my next goal after that.

You can do this. Other people have done this. We can too.

Just a few suggestions- to hell with what other people think, or say, or the looks they give you. I know it's easier said than done, but at the end of the day, losing weight and being healthy isn't for your mom, or your cousin or your coworkers. It's for you. Because you don't want to become a diabetic, or have heart failure, or even just get winded going upstairs. Make positive changes because YOU want to feel good. And if people want to give you looks for turning down a slice of pie, let them. Thin people don't just stay thin by eating everything put in front of them. Aside from a few freaks with high metabolism, most thin people are that way through simple diet & exercise. And you CAN do it!

Simple steps- stop eating fast food. Completely. I know it's cheap, it's easy, it's quick, but try going one month not eating any food that comes from a drive thru. That doesn't mean don't eat out. Get a sandwich from Subway. Opt for a turkey burger with a side salad at Chilis instead of a bacon cheeseburger. Avoid the chip basket at a mexican restaurant or the bread basket. Small things every day that still allow you to live your life without feeling like you're robbing yourself. And if you have a bad day and eat that cheeseburger and a side of fries, don't beat yourself up about it, and try and cook yourself a chicken breast and a side of rice the next day.

Check out allrecipes.com. It's a great website with all the nutritional information for every dish. Just type in a few ingredients you have in your house and whip up something under 600 calories. There is tons tons of yummy food that is good for you too!

When in doubt, walk! Take the stairs instead of the escalator. If your morning coffee spot is less than a mile away, walk there! Your latte is your reward for a job well done!

Everyone CAN lose weight, you just need to want it more than that cupcake (and believe me, right now I could go for a cupcake)! Stay focused and make decisions you'll be happy with tomorrow!