Yes, I know I'm a curvy girl. Yes, I know I'll never be skinny. No, I don't need you to tell me.

riruriruriru
riruriruriru Posts: 11 Member
in Motivation and Support
Ever get fed up of people telling you are so beautiful the way you are?
I know I'm curvy, I get that. I know I can never be skinny.
But please stop telling me I'm fine the way I am? Please don't tell me I don't need to improve myself.
I want to feel and look better. And you only telling me I shouldn't not only demoralises me, but makes me feel like there is an issue I need to address.
I'm in such a bad awful mood.

Replies

  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    Don't talk about your weight loss... that's why you have pals on here, to talk about stuff like that!
  • pandasushi2018
    pandasushi2018 Posts: 7 Member
    I can totally relate, I hate when people tell me I look fine just the way I am. My response is always, "I am not trying to be skinny, I am trying to be healthy."
  • riruriruriru
    riruriruriru Posts: 11 Member
    TavistockToad wrote: »
    Don't talk about your weight loss... that's why you have pals on here, to talk about stuff like that!

    I've only just started my weight loss journey and I didn't even mention it! My mum was talking to a yoga friend and they suddenly brought up my gym sessions? I felt really triggered and targeted.
  • riruriruriru
    riruriruriru Posts: 11 Member
    pandasushi2018 wrote: »
    I can totally relate, I hate when people tell me I look fine just the way I am. My response is always, "I am not trying to be skinny, I am trying to be healthy."

    I know right? It's like, can you not see this belly pooch on my stomach? getting rid of that is NOT me trying to be anorexic or unhealthy. its for me to feel happy, vibrant and healthy.
  • pandasushi2018
    pandasushi2018 Posts: 7 Member
    lol i call my pooch my foopa, and i am slowly taking my time to get rid of it, but everytime I see new results I feel better. It is really *kitten* when you are put down or your feeings are shrugged off. But if you are looking for a nonjudgmental friend who has the same goal you are more than welcome to add me. We can be motivation buddies. id add you myself but i havent figured that out yet.

  • Noreenmarie1234
    Noreenmarie1234 Posts: 7,492 Member
    A LOT of people on here thought they were curvy or big boned and could never be "skinny" yet found it to be wrong after they lost weight. Don't let anyone get you down, keep going!
  • cmriverside
    cmriverside Posts: 34,422 Member
    I hear you. I don't think it's ever okay to comment on someone else's body because I don't like it when others do that to me either. It feels intrusive to me.

    I think mothers might get some free pass on that though, since they made us and all.

    In this world people say all kinds of things with no filter. That's on them, that's their bad manners. I just ignore them. When I get overly sensitive about it that's on me and I'm only making myself miserable.
  • laceygaywilson
    laceygaywilson Posts: 330 Member
    I know that feeling!! You can get to your goals!!! If I can.....you can!! Went from 265 to 170!!! Still charging forward!! This is the third time I needed to lose a hundred lbs!! I still have curves but I'm a size 8 and killing it!! You can and you will be the sexiest you, you can be!!! Stay positive and tell the world to suck it and go make your fat cry a lil today!! (Sweat is just our fat crying) I believe in you!!!!!
  • pinuplove
    pinuplove Posts: 12,871 Member
    riruriruriru wrote: »
    Ever get fed up of people telling you are so beautiful the way you are?
    I know I'm curvy, I get that. I know I can never be skinny.
    But please stop telling me I'm fine the way I am? Please don't tell me I don't need to improve myself.
    I want to feel and look better. And you only telling me I shouldn't not only demoralises me, but makes me feel like there is an issue I need to address.
    I'm in such a bad awful mood.
    Maybe they're picking up on some negative self-image vibes from you and think they are being supportive/helpful.

    I'm "curvy" in that there's a 10-inch difference in my waist and hip measurements. This didn't change when I lost weight and never will because it's my bone structure. However, at a beginning BMI of 33, I was also clearly fat.
  • PamamaJane
    PamamaJane Posts: 288 Member
    There are all kinds of things people say that are truly not helpful. Things like, "Tall people like you can get away with a few extra pounds and still look good." The worst one to hit me was on another weight loss site where a woman who was my exact same height posted her before and after pictures. Her before picture was at her heaviest and she went on and on about how hideous she had been. The trouble was that her before weight was ten pounds less than my goal weight. Yes, what she said was hurtful to me. No, she didn't mean to be hurtful to me. She didn't even know I existed! I had to come to grips with the truth that what others say is more about themselves than about me. The reverse is also true; what I hear is more about myself than about the person speaking.
  • riruriruriru
    riruriruriru Posts: 11 Member
    They directed the conversation towards me when I wasn't even participating.
    TavistockToad wrote: »
    riruriruriru wrote: »
    TavistockToad wrote: »
    Don't talk about your weight loss... that's why you have pals on here, to talk about stuff like that!

    I've only just started my weight loss journey and I didn't even mention it! My mum was talking to a yoga friend and they suddenly brought up my gym sessions? I felt really triggered and targeted.

    Triggered?
  • riruriruriru
    riruriruriru Posts: 11 Member
    pandasushi2018 wrote: »
    lol i call my pooch my foopa, and i am slowly taking my time to get rid of it, but everytime I see new results I feel better. It is really *kitten* when you are put down or your feeings are shrugged off. But if you are looking for a nonjudgmental friend who has the same goal you are more than welcome to add me. We can be motivation buddies. id add you myself but i havent figured that out yet.

    I would really LOVE that. Let's support each other. I'm so happy to hear you are seeing results. I've had mine since I was 15? and I just want it gone!
  • riruriruriru
    riruriruriru Posts: 11 Member
    Noreenmarie1234 wrote: »
    A LOT of people on here thought they were curvy or big boned and could never be "skinny" yet found it to be wrong after they lost weight. Don't let anyone get you down, keep going!

    Absolutely! The only problem is, I got an eating disorder when I was 19. I was only 54kg and lost my periods. people would call me skinny but I feel maybe this is not the look I should aim for now. Rather just loosing the weight with better lifestyle changes.
  • riruriruriru
    riruriruriru Posts: 11 Member
    cmriverside wrote: »
    I hear you. I don't think it's ever okay to comment on someone else's body because I don't like it when others do that to me either. It feels intrusive to me.

    I think mothers might get some free pass on that though, since they made us and all.

    In this world people say all kinds of things with no filter. That's on them, that's their bad manners. I just ignore them. When I get overly sensitive about it that's on me and I'm only making myself miserable.

    Your last line really resonated with me...Me being upset by it is ONLY making me miserable. Especially as thats on them. She did apologise to me afterwards which again highlights it shouldn't be my problem or upset me.
  • riruriruriru
    riruriruriru Posts: 11 Member
    laceygaywilson wrote: »
    I know that feeling!! You can get to your goals!!! If I can.....you can!! Went from 265 to 170!!! Still charging forward!! This is the third time I needed to lose a hundred lbs!! I still have curves but I'm a size 8 and killing it!! You can and you will be the sexiest you, you can be!!! Stay positive and tell the world to suck it and go make your fat cry a lil today!! (Sweat is just our fat crying) I believe in you!!!!!


    Wow! I am amazed and excited and happy for you!
    I hope I see results. I'm 5'5 and about 69.1 kg. I need to get to 62kg.
  • riruriruriru
    riruriruriru Posts: 11 Member
    PamamaJane wrote: »
    There are all kinds of things people say that are truly not helpful. Things like, "Tall people like you can get away with a few extra pounds and still look good." The worst one to hit me was on another weight loss site where a woman who was my exact same height posted her before and after pictures. Her before picture was at her heaviest and she went on and on about how hideous she had been. The trouble was that her before weight was ten pounds less than my goal weight. Yes, what she said was hurtful to me. No, she didn't mean to be hurtful to me. She didn't even know I existed! I had to come to grips with the truth that what others say is more about themselves than about me. The reverse is also true; what I hear is more about myself than about the person speaking.

    This really resonated with me. It really does say more about her than you. You have your own goals and ambitions. It is okay to feel upset by that. Or rather, its good to gain that perspective.
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    riruriruriru wrote: »
    They directed the conversation towards me when I wasn't even participating.
    TavistockToad wrote: »
    riruriruriru wrote: »
    TavistockToad wrote: »
    Don't talk about your weight loss... that's why you have pals on here, to talk about stuff like that!

    I've only just started my weight loss journey and I didn't even mention it! My mum was talking to a yoga friend and they suddenly brought up my gym sessions? I felt really triggered and targeted.

    Triggered?

    Sorry, I don't understand your use of 'triggered' in that context, but then I'm old and not down with how the kids speak these days.
  • asliceofjackie
    asliceofjackie Posts: 112 Member
    TavistockToad wrote: »
    Sorry, I don't understand your use of 'triggered' in that context, but then I'm old and not down with how the kids speak these days.
    "Triggered is when someone gets annoyed, offended or gets their feelings hurt by something they see or hear."

    Source: Urban dictionary

    :smile:
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    asliceofjackie wrote: »
    TavistockToad wrote: »
    Sorry, I don't understand your use of 'triggered' in that context, but then I'm old and not down with how the kids speak these days.
    "Triggered is when someone gets annoyed, offended or gets their feelings hurt by something they see or hear."

    Source: Urban dictionary

    :smile:

    Good old urban dictionary :laugh:
  • chelny
    chelny Posts: 179 Member
    I hate this topic of discussion, too. I'm thankful at work no one has mentioned it to me. It's a relatively new job to me. Only been here 1.5 years. No one has mentioned. I'm dreading seeing relatives next weekend though. Plus, eating out at a pasta restaurant. I'm sure I can find something on the menu to eat, but it's harder to judge the calories you're eating, etc. Mostly, let's just talk about our other problems, and not my weight, mkay?

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