Cancer related/not weight loss

tonicia
tonicia Posts: 145 Member
edited October 2024 in Motivation and Support
I guess this would fit the "support" topic?? Not weight loss related. Cancer related.
This year has been very stress filled for me. I will try to resist the urge to make this my life story or free therapy for all of the nutso things on my mind and in my life right now because this is just a small slice of the things on my plate lately.

So..let's see..My grandmother passed away from breast cancer when she was 51. My aunt just had breast cancer at 38. They suggested that she tell her siblings to be tested for the BRCA gene since she had it. As far as I understand it's basically a genetic mutation that puts you at higher risk for cancer. My other aunt and mother were both tested for it and both were positive. My mom is 48 and they told her that her chances of getting cancer within the next 2 years was 95% and that the cancers she was more prone to were really aggressive types. Not the most favorable odds. So, she had preventative surgeries. (a hysterectomy/oopharectomy/double masectomy and reconstruction.) We are almost halfway through reconstruction as of now. So her chances of cancer are still there, but a much more acceptable chance now.

Soooo..here's my dilemma..I am 22 years old. My sister and I have a 50/50 chance of having this gene. So my first thought is..ok let's get tested and find out. But...they told me that I should get life insurance first, because if I do find that I am positive for the gene, life insurance would be expensive/hard to get. So someone suggested waiting ten years or so before getting tested. I'm not too sure I want the unknown 50/50 hanging over my head though. So somebody suggested a place that would do the test without life insurance finding out..so I was going to do that, but I'm sorta scared. I don't know how I'd react if I did have it. It wouldn't be too big of a deal if I was already older and done having kids, but...I don't know. As of now I don't want kids, but I'm young and I'd still like the option someday. I feel like I shouldn't have to think about these things yet. I don't want to grow up. boo! haha. Anyways, I guess my question is..what would YOU do in my shoes??

I hope that all made sense..my mind is a jumble.

Replies

  • tonicia
    tonicia Posts: 145 Member
    Also, I wouldn't necessarily have to get the surgeries right away, but it'd be another hanging over your head kinda thing.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    First, life insurance at the age of 22 should NOT be difficult despite your family history if you do not have other problems (risky lifestyle, from bungee jumping to drugs and alcohol). I would get it. Now. A $10,000 policy (to cover the cost of your funeral) is not overly expensive. Could your family help you with that?

    Second, I wouldn't get tested somewhere "shady" that would hide it from insurance. That could scream of problems.

    Third, I would absolutely get tested. If it were positive, I'd run out, find a sugar daddy to impregnate me, have a beautiful healthy baby boy (of course), and then have all my *kitten* removed. But that's just me ;-)

    Seriously, though, it sounds like this is bothering you enough that you don't want to go ten years without knowing. Plus then your doctors can monitor you more closely...
  • twimom03
    twimom03 Posts: 19
    My mother is a breast cancer survivor...she was only 48 years old when she was diagnosed through a routine
    mammogram. I am 33 and just had my first base mammogram. My doctor also advised me to be tested for the BRCA gene. Yes...it is scary to find out if you have the possible gene but there are preventative measures that can be taken if in fact you test positive. There is medication (tomaxifin...spelling?) that can block the extra estrogen that tumors tend to feed off of. Obviously proper nutrition and exercise can also decrease your chances. I don't think that you should wait 10 years....it could be 10 years too late...be proactive and play it safe. It is a scary disease but if found early, you will have happy ending as my mom did (11 years breast cancer free.)

    As far as the life insurance thing goes...I'm pretty sure due to privacy acts...you can keep that from your medical records...even from your primary doctor...you can disclose to them that you don't want it in your records. These are questions you should ask your doctor. It is always going to be scary to be tested, no matter how old you are (I'm 33 with three kids...) but you will either get a sigh of relief that you tested negative or you will know that you tested positive but are taking the proper precautions to lessen your chances and/or have early detection of the disease.

    Good Luck!
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    If you KNOW of a condition and withhold it on your life insurance application (whether or not it's in the files) they can deny the insurance when you die. Just tread lightly with... insurance fraud stuff *LOL*
  • twimom03
    twimom03 Posts: 19
    lol..i found that error...
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    lol..i found that error...

    I had to CHANGE my post because you found that! *LOL* Dangit :)
  • TheGreatYaYa
    TheGreatYaYa Posts: 215 Member
    First, let me say I'm sorry you're facing such hard decisions at such a young age. Now, first of all I'm not so sure I would risk going some place to be tested where you think life insurance co. wouldn't find out. If later they did somehow find out (and it could happen), it could void your policy and you would have nothing. I wouldn't want to take the chance of that happening. Go some place reputable and get tested after you get the life insurance.

    If I were you, I would go ahead and get the life insurance before being tested. At your age, life insurance couldn't be very expensive. Get it!

    About being tested....I would want to know if it were me. Then once you knew for sure you had the gene, you could make whatever decisions were necessary. You can spend years speculating, but that's just a waste of time until you know all the facts. Get the facts, then make the decisions.

    If, later on in life, you decide you want kids, but have had a hysterectomy, adoption is always a great option. Hope this helps.
  • tonicia
    tonicia Posts: 145 Member
    That's what scares me too...like.. I want to know, but I don't want to do anything shady either. But there's no way I can pay for life insurance yet. And I wish my family could help, however, I'm usually the one helping everyone else (money -wise).
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    Give me a ball park on what YOU think a life insurance policy would cost you?
  • dmpizza
    dmpizza Posts: 3,321 Member
    God Bless you and your family. You need it.
    I had major surgery this year because of strong concerns about cancer, but my stress was and is nothing like yours.

    In my opinion, you are too young to write off things like babies, etc...
    There are going to be a good 30 years of medical advances for possible cures or at least better treatments before you really need to worry.

    Good Luck.
  • tonicia
    tonicia Posts: 145 Member
    I haven't priced it to be honest. I tried to research it a little bit,but I'm most concerned about it only lasting 30 years before having to "re-apply" or whatever. I hope to be in awesome shape/health at 52, but I doubt I can count on it. *crosses fingers* haha. I really don't know the specifics of any of it. Just don't know who to talk to about it for one and just scared and overwhelmed with it all in general. haha.
  • momof3and3
    momof3and3 Posts: 656 Member
    Knowledge is power!

    Go get tested at ...yes it is scary, and yes you might get a horrible answer, but at least you will know. Once you know you can educate yourself on what to do next. Worst case senerio you lose some body parts, but you keep your life! Don't wait 10 years...that might be 10 years too late.

    Life insurance at your age isn't expensive (my policy costs me $145 per year)....just get a base policy 15,000 or so to cover funeral expenses. Since you aren't married and don't have children you don't need a big policy. You can always change it if your life changes.

    Prayers to you!
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    And you have every right to be. But if you're "afraid" you can't afford it, yet don't really know, you're just causing yourself unnecessary anxiety. That could be a complete non-issue for you.

    FYI: A simple, cover the cost of your funeral policy, would cost a couple hundred bucks a year if you're in good health etc;-)
  • tonicia
    tonicia Posts: 145 Member
    Would it only last 30 years? My thinking is that once Im 52 I'll have to re-apply. And it'll skyrocket. I'm so confused on the whole thing and idk who to talk to about it without talking to a biased salesperson, you know? I probably make no sense, but I have no clue. lol. A couple hundred a year isn't too bad..wish I didn't need it so early, but not tooo too bad. = )

    And thanks for everyone's help/opions/prayers and thoughts. This is why I love mfp.
  • cabaray
    cabaray Posts: 971 Member
    Look at getting a term life insurance policy that can be converted into a whole life policy later. The term life is going to expire after so long, but if you convert it to whole life, there is no term limit. The benefit being you can pay term life rates, then convert later when you have more money to do so.

    Find a way to get an inexpensive policy, it's out there, that converts to whole life, then get your butt in and get tested for the gene. Knowing is scary, but not as scary as not knowing.
  • tonicia
    tonicia Posts: 145 Member
    Look at getting a term life insurance policy that can be converted into a whole life policy later. The term life is going to expire after so long, but if you convert it to whole life, there is no term limit. The benefit being you can pay term life rates, then convert later when you have more money to do so.

    Find a way to get an inexpensive policy, it's out there, that converts to whole life, then get your butt in and get tested for the gene. Knowing is scary, but not as scary as not knowing.

    Didn't know those existed. That sounds great. And I agree. I've been leaning towards getting it. I can't stand not knowing.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    Look at getting a term life insurance policy that can be converted into a whole life policy later. The term life is going to expire after so long, but if you convert it to whole life, there is no term limit. The benefit being you can pay term life rates, then convert later when you have more money to do so.

    Find a way to get an inexpensive policy, it's out there, that converts to whole life, then get your butt in and get tested for the gene. Knowing is scary, but not as scary as not knowing.

    What she said :) And STOP fretting over what life will bring you at the age of 32 and start enjoying your *kitten* right now :tongue:
  • tonicia
    tonicia Posts: 145 Member
    Look at getting a term life insurance policy that can be converted into a whole life policy later. The term life is going to expire after so long, but if you convert it to whole life, there is no term limit. The benefit being you can pay term life rates, then convert later when you have more money to do so.

    Find a way to get an inexpensive policy, it's out there, that converts to whole life, then get your butt in and get tested for the gene. Knowing is scary, but not as scary as not knowing.

    What she said :) And STOP fretting over what life will bring you at the age of 32 and start enjoying your *kitten* right now :tongue:


    Don't MAKE me go start partying with friends! lol.

    I'll look into that. That sounds like exactly what I need. Thanks everyone! = )
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    GO! Party! *LOL* Hang in there sweetheart :)
  • cabaray
    cabaray Posts: 971 Member
    They are out there. You just have to make sure because not all term life policies are convertible. That's what we have now. We can't afford the whole life right now, but at least we have the option when we can!
  • tonicia
    tonicia Posts: 145 Member
    They are out there. You just have to make sure because not all term life policies are convertible. That's what we have now. We can't afford the whole life right now, but at least we have the option when we can!

    Sounds perfect.Thanks!!! = )
  • Dtho5159
    Dtho5159 Posts: 1,054 Member
    I got life insurance at 21 years old. Mostly because I had a child and wanted him to be protected if something happened to me. I have a $25,000 policy and I pay only $25 per month. I have it thru State Farm with my auto insurance and its all bundled together. Id look into getting it before you get tested. Its never too early to get life insurance. I have several friends who passed in their mid 20s, not cancer related (car accidents, surgery mishaps etc)
  • ladybug91254
    ladybug91254 Posts: 232 Member
    Hi! I am a 20+ year licensed insurance agent...you definitely should be able to get life insurance at this time...shop carefully because if you do get denied by one company others will usually not accept you. There are many many term policies that are later convertible to permanent. You DO NOT want to try to hide anything...DO NOT get the test from someone that says they can "hide" it from your medical records. #1 I'm thinking they might not be the most accurate. #2 unless you are paying cash out of pocket it will show up on your health insurance and #3 (the biggie) you would still have to lie on the application for life insurance and then as mentioned earlier the insurance company could deny the claim when (if) you die. I would go NOW and talk to your agent where you have your auto and or home insurance. I used to work for State Farm...they have lots of policies available, normally good informed agents but are not always the least expensive...just do some research and get some prices...being very specific that you want a term policy that is guaranteed convertible later. And the only explanation you need to give for that is money is tighter now but you hope later you will be better off financially. Also, State Farm and a few other companies have something called a Gauranteed Insurability Rider that you can add very inexpensively. And that means you could take out more insurance later (it has to be at certain intervals) REGARDLESS of your health. With your history I would try to get that. Hope this helps some. Feel free to message me if I can help.
  • godblessourhome
    godblessourhome Posts: 3,892 Member
    we have a $750,000 policy on my husband and pay $44 a month. we started it when he was 22. we have a $250,000 policy on me that is $17 a month. we started it when i was 30. you can afford life insurance. really.
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