I am tired of starting over

zinaramos3
zinaramos3 Posts: 11 Member
edited December 20 in Health and Weight Loss
I need support. I quit my job 6 years ago and decided to become a stay at home mom and ever since I have gained 50 lbs. I start, lose 10 lbs and then quit and gain it all back and more.

Replies

  • kjoyce4
    kjoyce4 Posts: 1 Member
    You can do it! I have made the same mistake as you, by stopping and gaining it back. Thankfully I only put half of mine back on before I went "what the hell am I doing, I got rid of my bigger clothes and if I keep going Im going to have to buy more again!!!" I caught myself and have come back. I didnt move my tracking from losing weight to maintaining and I think that was my downfall. Although I though I knew how much I was putting in my mouth it turns out I really didnt. I am starting to get my kids to do some exercising with me, that way they thinks it fun and I still get to spend some time with them, not in front of the tv.
  • meganpettigrew86
    meganpettigrew86 Posts: 349 Member
    I'm a stay at home mum currently (maternity leave) it can be super hard to fit in time to exercise but just get creative. I've been walking alot and when my partner is home ill go for a run. I try not to keep trigger food in the house until I have been on track for a decent time and those cravings have past and healthier eating is a habit. It's not a good idea to completely remove your favourite foods permanently but initially remove them then encorporate them back in when you have the spare calories and the ability to control your eating. I didn't lose alot of my weight until I had the right goal, sometimes health benefits and cosmetic insentive is not enough. Also fitness goals helped distract me from focusing on the scale so much. I'm not an expert and some of this may not work for you but it is what helps me.
  • helene4
    helene4 Posts: 120 Member
    I get the sense that somethings just not feeling right about your current life
    How are you feeling?

    I know for me (and I’m just speaking for myself) when I feel like I’m not on the right path, or I feel sad, or angry, or in pain
    That it’s time for me to make a change
    These are powerful feelings that can be used to help us be who we know were meant to be

    Get in touch with what you really want and what feels right to you and go for it!

    Keep trying, keep giving yourself chances

    I believe in you
  • zinaramos3
    zinaramos3 Posts: 11 Member
    Thanks. I really appreciate the encouragement and the suggestions. I really haves look at my life and reflect. Why do I quit and what will work for me. For now I am not depriving myself of any foods just counting calories and exercising so that I can keep up with my family when we go on hikes.
  • cheryldumais
    cheryldumais Posts: 1,907 Member
    Danp wrote: »
    Why do you quit? Be honest.

    If you're quitting then you're doing something that's not right for you otherwise, as silly as it sounds, you wouldn't quit.

    So take a moment and honestly ask yourself why you quit. This will tell you what NOT to do this time.

    For example, every single one of my previous failed attempts had a few things in common.
    - I forced myself to eat food that was OK, but I wasn't all that into just because they were "healthy". Eventually my willpower would run out, I'd quit and I'd go back to my old eating habits. This time I only eat foods I really like in quantities that allow me to maintain a calorie deficit.
    - I'd start exercising. This would cause two problems. Firstly, exercising would cause me to get super hungry and since I hadn't gotten my eating under control I'd go nuts and overeat. Secondly I was so overweight that I wasn't able to make any noticeable fitness gains which was super discouraging so I'd quit (working out and trying to eat better). This time I focused solely on fixing my calories in before attempting to get fit.
    - I'd look for some magic diet or eating pattern that had worked for someone else. This ended up forcing me to adopt a method of weight management that wasn't suitable for me. It would take constant effort and motivation to maintain this unnatural approach and eventually it would all be too much and I'd quit. This time I did away with all the cookie-cutter solutions and decided to do what I needed to do so that I could do the things that worked specifically for me.

    Then once you know what NOT to do you start too look at all the things you can try and start to do them. Then you keep doing the things you can do easily and enjoy and rethink/discard/adjust the things you struggle with.

    G'luck

    This is exactly it! Most of us have an all or nothing attitude so we start out with a bang and end with a whimper. Start by making changes you can live with for the rest of your life. Slowly change and you are much more likely to be successful. I tried my entire life to lose weight and failed every single time until three and a half years ago. At 59 I finally understood. Now I'm down to goal and have stayed there for over a year. I had more to lose than you. You can do it but build new healthy habits and your kids will also benefit from that. BTW my main exercise is just walking. Take the kids with you and you'll be amazed at how much better you feel after. It reduces appetite and lifts my mood every time. No gym required, lol.

  • pizzafruit
    pizzafruit Posts: 318 Member
    I have started over more times than I care to admit. I can give you a few of my reasons - this is too hard, I had a binge and am too embarrassed to list everything I ate, I only lost 1/2 lb., I wonder what those who know me will think of my failure..... I know in order to succeed I have to stop repeating what I've done in the past. What's more important to me; getting healthy or inhaling alot of food I don't need. I'm still working on it but I'm not going anywhere. I wish you well.
  • ridiculous59
    ridiculous59 Posts: 2,911 Member
    edited May 2019
    I was a stay-at-home for 10 years and managed to get to my pre-pregnancy weight (losing 60 pounds). I had a stationary bike and every morning hopped on it for 30 minutes. Sometimes it meant putting the kids down in front of the tv for half an hour, but whatever. My husband was away a lot but when he was home, as soon as the kids were in bed, I'd head out for an hour walk - winter or summer (my cutoff temperature was -30C). When he was away, I'd go to a fitness class during the day instead (there was childcare at the facility). Every day I did two of those things. Was it always easy? Anyone who knows what its like getting kids into snowsuits, etc knows the answer to that lol

    Someone on here suggested to try putting exercise to one side and just focus on your eating. But speaking for myself, it was the exercise that I desperately needed, aka "me time". I loved being home with my kids, but those evening walks by myself cleared my head like nothing else and I so looked forward to them. And if I put in that much effort into exercise, why would I sabatage it by eating poorly?

    So definitely two schools of thought. The main thing is this: don't beat yourself up when you have a bad day. Your goal is to be healthy, both physically and mentally, for yourself and your family. Keep that as your goal (not some idea of a perfect body) and then decide what you need to do to get there. We all support you......especially those of us who have been in your place.
  • kds10
    kds10 Posts: 452 Member
    zinaramos3 wrote: »
    Thanks. I really appreciate the encouragement and the suggestions. I really haves look at my life and reflect. Why do I quit and what will work for me. For now I am not depriving myself of any foods just counting calories and exercising so that I can keep up with my family when we go on hikes.

    I find when I make too many changes I get overwhelmed....maybe lower your expectations...be okay with a 2 lb per month loss this way you just have to make a few changes, nothing too big or overwhelming. Changes that you can sustain over the long haul are the best.
  • Tenaya_justcallme_
    Tenaya_justcallme_ Posts: 29 Member
    I am in the same boat...and here I am starting over again. But I have changed my outlook this time. Why am I doing this? What non-scale victories am I looking for? How do I really want to feel?

    It's ok to make mistakes, this isn't full-on failure, it's learning from those mistakes and making the next day better.

    Do better today than you did yesterday, do better tomorrow than you did today!

    Great pointers below! Good Luck!
    Danp wrote: »
    Why do you quit? Be honest.

    If you're quitting then you're doing something that's not right for you otherwise, as silly as it sounds, you wouldn't quit.

    So take a moment and honestly ask yourself why you quit. This will tell you what NOT to do this time.

    For example, every single one of my previous failed attempts had a few things in common.
    - I forced myself to eat food that was OK, but I wasn't all that into just because they were "healthy". Eventually my willpower would run out, I'd quit and I'd go back to my old eating habits. This time I only eat foods I really like in quantities that allow me to maintain a calorie deficit.
    - I'd start exercising. This would cause two problems. Firstly, exercising would cause me to get super hungry and since I hadn't gotten my eating under control I'd go nuts and overeat. Secondly I was so overweight that I wasn't able to make any noticeable fitness gains which was super discouraging so I'd quit (working out and trying to eat better). This time I focused solely on fixing my calories in before attempting to get fit.
    - I'd look for some magic diet or eating pattern that had worked for someone else. This ended up forcing me to adopt a method of weight management that wasn't suitable for me. It would take constant effort and motivation to maintain this unnatural approach and eventually it would all be too much and I'd quit. This time I did away with all the cookie-cutter solutions and decided to do what I needed to do so that I could do the things that worked specifically for me.

    Then once you know what NOT to do you start too look at all the things you can try and start to do them. Then you keep doing the things you can do easily and enjoy and rethink/discard/adjust the things you struggle with.

    G'luck

  • kds10
    kds10 Posts: 452 Member
    Danp wrote: »
    Why do you quit? Be honest.

    If you're quitting then you're doing something that's not right for you otherwise, as silly as it sounds, you wouldn't quit.

    So take a moment and honestly ask yourself why you quit. This will tell you what NOT to do this time.

    For example, every single one of my previous failed attempts had a few things in common.
    - I forced myself to eat food that was OK, but I wasn't all that into just because they were "healthy". Eventually my willpower would run out, I'd quit and I'd go back to my old eating habits. This time I only eat foods I really like in quantities that allow me to maintain a calorie deficit.
    - I'd start exercising. This would cause two problems. Firstly, exercising would cause me to get super hungry and since I hadn't gotten my eating under control I'd go nuts and overeat. Secondly I was so overweight that I wasn't able to make any noticeable fitness gains which was super discouraging so I'd quit (working out and trying to eat better). This time I focused solely on fixing my calories in before attempting to get fit.
    - I'd look for some magic diet or eating pattern that had worked for someone else. This ended up forcing me to adopt a method of weight management that wasn't suitable for me. It would take constant effort and motivation to maintain this unnatural approach and eventually it would all be too much and I'd quit. This time I did away with all the cookie-cutter solutions and decided to do what I needed to do so that I could do the things that worked specifically for me.

    Then once you know what NOT to do you start too look at all the things you can try and start to do them. Then you keep doing the things you can do easily and enjoy and rethink/discard/adjust the things you struggle with.

    G'luck

    Exactly, especially your first point..I see this all the time...people saying well my family is all eating pizza and I am eating cut up veggies instead...whenever I see that I think just give it time I see a future binge in the works.
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