How to deal with other people being jealous of your weight loss

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sarahhinkle20
sarahhinkle20 Posts: 8 Member
in Motivation and Support
Hi everybody,
I'm relatively new to MFP. I've been here since mid March and so far I've lost 17 lbs. I know I'm going to lose a lot more and I've been surprised at how dramatic the difference is already. I was wondering if you all could share your experiences of jealousy from other people at your success/weight loss, especially from people you see in your life a lot like family, friends, and coworkers. Negative feedback from others isn't going to stop me from doing what I'm doing, but it is something that I find myself thinking about a lot and wondering when I'm going to come across it, and how I will handle it. Will I be empathetic because I understand they are in pain from not being as successful, or will I get defensive because I know I suffered long enough and I deserve to work hard and feel amazing?

In a weird way I guess it is motivating for other people to be jealous of you, because it shows that you are succeeding in such a way that others can notice it from the outside. But the idea of someone being jealous of me makes me uncomfortable because there's nothing I can do to fix it - obviously I wouldn't ever stop my journey or gain the weight back just to make them feel better. And I know a lot of people do lose friends during their weight loss journey...and then they make new friends who do support their healthy lifestyle. But I'm just curious about what you all have experienced and how you handled the situation.

Replies

  • lorrpb
    lorrpb Posts: 11,464 Member
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    I suggest that you not spend your time and energy worrying about what "might" happen. If someone is jealous, let them be. As you noted, you can't fix it. It's them, not you!
  • brittanystebbins95
    brittanystebbins95 Posts: 567 Member
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    I get this a lot, actually. I just shrug it off and remind them that other peoples' success is not their failure, and if they want it badly enough and stay consistent they will lose weight, too.
  • sarahhinkle20
    sarahhinkle20 Posts: 8 Member
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    Thank you for the feedback everyone!

    MikePTY and lorrpb: You are both right, I'm definitely worrying about a hypothetical situation. I know that the reasonable thing is to not worry about things that aren't actually happening, but it's just something my brain does.

    88olds: For sure, staying in your own bubble is key, I think. Everyone has their own opinions and we can't absorb them or let them distract us from what we think is important. I could definitely see it as a form of anxiety and having that sense of, "I should be doing that too."

    seltzermind555: This was extremely helpful - thank you for your response. I think you make an excellent point, that if the weight loss also comes with some unpleasant personality change, then yeah, people might be turned off by that. But if you were already a pleasant person to begin with and you continue to be a pleasant person, it makes sense that most people won't have any issue with you. In regards to your friend, that is exactly the kind of thing I would be afraid of. But I would try to do the same thing you did, which is ignore the passive-aggressive remarks.

    brittanystebbi... : You are right. Everyone gets to the weight loss journey in their own time and if they are feeling jealous it's just because they aren't there yet and they would like to be.
  • csplatt
    csplatt Posts: 1,085 Member
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    I am careful not to talk about my own weight loss because that could perhaps exhaust people. Nobody has really brought it up. It's not really a think to ask about people's sizes in my circles, I guess? There was one person at work who asked, but that was it.
  • elisa123gal
    elisa123gal Posts: 4,306 Member
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    Keep focused on yourself. You can't live your life trying to control others emotions with your actions. Be yourself and let other people deal with their own negative emotions because only they can fix them not you. If someone is jealous of you..that is there problem not yours.

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